It was a warm summer morning, Josh drove toward the valley, he was due for a check in at the Chauvet-Groban Center, Andi and Katie had been bugging him to drop by for a couple of weeks, and he'd finally found some time in his schedule to go by and see his guardian angels. He was working on the next album, and enjoying himself, taking pop in a new direction, but he'd hit a block, and needed a break. He pulled into the center parking lot, right in front of the offices, where he had his own personal parking place, and killed the engine. Smiling, he got out of the car, studying the building that had been witness to some of the most drastic changes in his life. He was about to walk in the front door when he was spotted, and Katie flew into his arms, hugging him like a little bear cub.
"Josh!" She yelled, "It's about time you got your butt down here!"
"Sorry, Katie," Josh said laughing at his "adopted" daughter. "The new album is taking more time than I'd planned."
Stepping back, she looked in his face, it was hard to pull anything over on her, she was just too sharp.
"What's the deal, Grob-man? I think there's something else on your mind." She said.
Josh laughed again, "You and Andi. You should start a "Psychic Friends" commercial."
"That's right, we know all, we see all, we are the best!"
"Is Andi in?" Josh asked, putting his arm around Katie's shoulders and walking towards the offices.
"Yep, and you're gonna get a smack in the head for staying away so long."
Rubbing his head where he knew he would get smacked, Josh nodded his head. They walked into the busy offices, three teens in the waiting area, some already with the workers, the mini clinic also had people waiting. The phones were ringing, and Susie Q was talking to a very pretty blond, someone Josh had never seen in the offices before. He didn't see Andi, but he heard her.
"What do you mean we can't get that shipment til Tuesday?! I need that today! No, let me talk to your supervisor! NOW!" Andi's disembodied voice always carried through the offices, she was trouble-shooting as usual.
"Go tell her I'm here, but don't interrupt, you don't want to get a smack." Josh told Katie.
She hugged him before she left.
"Thanks, Grob-dad, still looking out for me."
"You know it, little lady. Now go on, I'm gonna say hi to Susie."
Katie scooted, and Josh walked up behind Susie Q, putting his hands over her eyes.
"Guess who?" He said, smiling.
"JOSH!" Susie squealed, turning to crush him in a bear hug. "How ya been, stranger, it's been a MONTH already! We were beginning to think you'd left us to fend for ourselves."
"Never, you know I can't go on without seeing my angels on a regular basis." He hugged her back, giving her a smooch on the cheek.
"Who's your friend?" He asked, gesturing to the young woman Susie had been talking to.
Susie's eyebrows raised, and she smiled wickedly at Josh, seeing the interest in his eyes,"This is a new volunteeer, Pepper Paige." Susie reached out to touch Pepper's arm, when Pepper looked up Susie introduced her, speaking very clearly, and looking directly at her.
"Pepper, I'd like you to meet Josh Groban, Josh, Pepper."
When Susie said Josh's name, she did something funny with her hands.
"Hi, Josh." Pepper said, holding out her hand, "So you must be the Groban in the center's name."
"That's me," He said, glancing over at Susie who was making some very strange hand gestures at Pepper.
Pepper almost laughed at one of them, while trying to keep her eyes on Josh's lips.
"Am I missing something?" Josh asked, totally puzzled.
Susie and Pepper were both making the hand gestures now, and both of them laughed. Pepper looked at Josh, the smile still on her face, it was a very pretty smile, and her eyes kind of crinkled up in the corners when she laughed.
"I'm deaf." Pepper said, waiting for his reaction.
"But..." Josh started, "But, you speak so clearly."
Pepper and Susie laughed again.
"I told you it would be the first thing he said," Susie laughed.
"I lost my hearing when I was 16," Pepper said. "I was travelling with my father in Egypt and I got a fever, some local parasite, it destroyed my hearing."
Feeling oddly out of place, Josh laughed, "I don't know whether to say I'm sorry, or to compliment you on how well you communicate, both of them sound condescending. How do you understand me? Oh, duh...you read lips?"
"Yes, and I also sign. That's why I'm here."
"Right, that's great! How long have you been volunteering here at the center?" Josh said, then flinched as he was smacked in the back of the head, turning he looked at the disapproving face of his head guardian angel.
"She's been here for 3 weeks, which you would know if you ever read the updates I send you." Andi said, as Josh rubbed the back of his head.
"Hi, Andi," He said, smiling as he hugged her.
"It's about time you got in here." She said, hugging him back, then taking his arm, she guided him to her office.
"I got business with him, you can have him later." Andi called over her shoulder to Susie and Katie, Susie signing what she had said to Pepper.
Josh looked over his shoulder, and smiled at Pepper, waving good-bye. She smiled and waved back. He continued into Andi's office, thinking to himself, what a nice smile she had.

 

Andi ushered Josh into her office, closing the door behind them, she had a small sofa on one wall, and they sat to talk.
"How ya been, Josh-man?" Andi asked, looking at his face closely.
"You shrinking my head already, Andi?" Josh asked, smiling at his confidant, and friend.
She held out her hands, smiling big, "It's what I do. Don't change the subject, how ya been?"
"Good, I've been good, Andi." He said, smiling at her.
"You sleeping okay?"
"Yeah, sometimes I have dreams, but that's normal, and they don't make me sad anymore. I can remember her now. I'm okay."
She looked at his face, very closely, then sat back shaking her head, "That's not completely true, is it Joshie-boy?"
He laughed, shaking his head, "I have a writing block, I'm stuck."
"So that's it."
"Yeah, sorry, no new psychosis for you to heal me of."
"Okay, just checking."
"Who is that new volunteer?" Josh asked, lightly, hoping not to sound too interested. But no such luck, Andi had radar when it came to ulterior motives. A huge grin spread across her face.
"You like her."
"No, I just wanted to know about the new volunteer."
Andi snickered, "You like her."
Josh sighed, rolling his eyes,"Okay, she's pretty, now tell me about her."
Andi got up and went to her desk, pulling out the file on Pepper.
"She's 27, former world traveller, mostly the middle east, Egypt, Africa, her father was a missionary. She went deaf at 16 after an illness, and she is a certified sign language interpreter, which I have been bugging the board for, for the last 4 months. She's great with the kids."
Josh sat back, remembering what pretty eyes she had.
Andi grinned at him, shaking her head.
"You like her."
Josh just shook his head.
He and Andi talked over several projects the center was working on in the next few months, then he was free, and Andi had to get back to work. He walked out after hugs and smooches, with threats of head smackings if he didn't come around more often. A couple of the teens had recognized him, and Katie brought them up for his autograph. He talked to them for a little while, making their day, then he went to find Susie and her friend.
Instead, he bumped into Pepper coming out of the ladies room. He mumbled apologies, while Pepper tried to focus on his face.
"Stop moving, I can't understand a thing you're saying." She said, laughing at him.
Josh froze, looking mortified that he'd nearly knocked her down, thinking to himself,"REALLY smooth, Groban, yeah, that'll impress her."
Instead, he said, "I'm sorry, I didn't see you."
"Well, that's obvious. It's okay, no permanent damage done."
"How are you enjoying working at the center?"
"It's nice here. I like working with the kids." She smiled, pushing her hair behind her ear.
She had a nice scent, kind of fresh scrubbed with some earthy natural scent, her hair was beautiful, her face was beautiful, she was beautiful.
Josh put both hands in his pockets, he felt awkward for some reason, smiling at Pepper, he started to turn to leave.
"Well, welcome to the center, I hope you enjoy your time here."
"Thanks, Josh." She said. "I'll see you around?" She asked hopefully.
"Yeah, I'll...I'll see you." He walked toward the front of the offices, and walked out
Kicking himself mentally, he went to the Porsche.
"God, I'm pathetic!" He whispered to himself. Getting in the car, he left.

 

Not willing to allow himself to believe that he was attracted to Pepper, Josh started making more frequent appearances at the center, just to make sure everything was all right. Somehow always managing to run into Pepper, and chat for a few minutes. It went on for a couple of months when Andi pulled him into her office and closed the door. As he started to sit on the sofa, Andi reached over, smacking him in the head.
"Ow! I know you love me Andi, but you gotta find a better way to show it!" He laughed as she threatened to smack him again.
Andi sat down beside him, facing him, she took his hand, looking him square in the eyes.
"Ask her out, Josh."
"What?" Josh asked, pretending to not understand her.
"Ask her out, Josh, before you drive us all insane."
Josh looked at his hand, covering Andi's with his own.
"If it were that easy, I would have done it already."
"What's stopping you?"
"I don't know!" Josh said quietly, "I start to talk to her, I get up the nerve to do it, and the words won't come out of my mouth!"
"Are you afraid?"
"Not of her, just...I don't know...it's just not easy."
"Then just try asking her for a cup of coffee."
"What if she says no?"
Andi shrugged, "At least you'll know. And you can move on to someone else."
Josh laughed, "I don't work like that,Andi."
"I know, but I got you to laugh!" She smiled at her friend.
"Ask her out, Josh, she can only say no."
She all but shoved him out of her office, and in Pepper's general direction, looking over his shoulder, he mouthed something saucy at her, causing Andi to assume a mock scandalized expression. She waved him on. He walked up to Pepper, she really was pretty. He could smell her perfume, watching the way the light played in her hair, she really was pretty. Getting her attention, he opened his mouth.
"Hi, Pepper." He said. Thinking to himself, "Oh, that was just brilliant."
"Hi, Josh." She said smiling at him. "I was going to run down to Krispy Kreme and get some coffee, would you like to come?"
Surprised, Josh was speechless, and brain-dead for a moment. Pepper waited patiently while he recovered.
"Sure, why don't we take my car?"
She smiled, "I was hoping you'd say that."
He escorted her to the door of the offices, looking back, Andi and Susie Q wer smiling and watching, as he caught their eyes, they gave him a thumbs up.

 

Josh and Pepper sat at the Krispy Kreme sipping coffee and enjoying some of the donuts. Josh was trying to be cool, instead he could barely keep up his end of the conversation. They had been sort of chatting, the talking finally coming to an uncomfortable, screeching stall.
Pepper was looking behind Josh when he had done a once over of the shop, trying to spot a newspaper headline, someone's shopping list, anything to spark his dulled brain into being brilliant, and sparkling. When Pepper started giggling, he thought he'd become so pathetic, she couldn't help but laugh. Looking up at her, he noticed she wasn't looking at him, but at a couple in a quiet, but heated conversation at a table near the door.
Catching her eye, Josh asked,"What are you laughing at?"
She glanced back at the couple, still smiling, "They're arguing."
"About what?" Morbid curiosity getting the better of him.
"Their "private" life."
"Their "private"...oh, you mean...OH! What are they saying?"
"Something about size, and only once a month, and not very good, she keeps turning away, so I'm not catching it all. And he's talking about a therapist, and her getting too "friendly" with him, how much he works, that he's tired all the time."
She looked at Josh again, Josh saying,"Sounds like he could use some Viagra."
Pepper laughed, "That's what SHE suggested."
Her attention on Josh again, they had a new topic.
"Do you do that often?" He asked smiling.
"It's like you sitting behind someone, and not being able to help but overhear."
"That does happen." He nodded, smiling, really liking how pretty her eyes were, and how intently they were always on his face when she was focused on him. She had a heart shaped face, her features like a porcelain doll. He liked her face, he liked her full lips, and the smile that always started on the left side of her mouth, spreading to her whole face.
"Don't you ever find yourself being drawn into someone else's conversation, even though you're trying desperately to mind your own business?"
"Absolutely, some people like to start things in public, it's like a car wreck, you can't look away."
Pepper laughed,"And they usually can't stop themselves."
Feeling courage, and a cooperative tongue, Josh decided to ask her something while he could control his mouth.
"Pepper, I like you, I know this is out of the blue, but would you have dinner with me tonight?"
The smile started, "Well, I usually don't date hearing men...but I like your eyes, so okay."
Josh was a little stunned, but covered it, not quickly enough for her not to notice, but enough so he could allow himself some self-denial.
"Great. I'll get your address at the center, and I'll pick you up about 7:30, okay?"
"Okay."
They finished their coffee, Josh drove her back to the center, almost forgetting to get her address, she also gave him her email address, and IM name, just in case.
Andi was standing in the doorway of her office, grinning like a fool at him, he didn't care if the whole office knew. He had a DATE!

 

Josh had never had so much trouble getting ready for a date in his life. What do you wear for a first date when you've been out of circulation for a while? Do you go smooth and suave? Casual cool? Just what is the fashion statement you make to announce to the world that you're ready to face the dating scene again? Maybe...
"Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic...I am so pathetic." He muttered to himself, sitting on the bed, in a towel, he flopped back on the covers, staring at the ceiling.
"I can't do this." He whispered to himself, "Who am I kidding, I can't do this." He went into the living room, retrieving his cell phone from the coffee table, he hit speed dial, and sat on the sofa, scrubbing a hand through his hair, as he waited for an answer.
"I can't do this," he said when he heard the hello on the other end. "I...I just...I can't do this."
"Josh," Andi said softly, "why not?"
"Andi, I can't even decide what to wear, where to take her, what am I gonna TALK about...Andi, I can't...I can't do this!" He stood pacing the floor like a nervous father, waiting for the birth of a new life.
"How long have you got before you have to pick her up?"
Glancing at the clock in the kitchen, "About an hour and 45 minutes."
"I'll be there in 15 minutes."
"Thanks, Andi."
"Hey," She said quietly,"What are friends for?"
Josh disconected, sitting on the sofa again. Remembering he wasn't dressed, he went in and put on some jeans, and came back out to sit on the sofa to wait for his main guardian angel.
Andi was true to her word, she was there in 15 minutes. Josh let her in the front door, going back to flop dejectedly on the sofa.
"Are you gonna smack me in the head?" He smiled at her pitifully.
"No, Josh, sweetie, I'm not gonna smack you in the head." She sat beside him on the sofa, her hand patting his knee, she removed it quickly, putting her hands in her lap.
"Tell me about it." She said, giving him an opening to lay his soul bare to her, the way he'd been doing since the night they had talked in Justine's studion. When she'd made him hug her. The way he had ever since, whenever something had troubled him, he had always come to her first. His angel.
He looked at her, the sweetest face in his life. The most understanding person he knew. He could tell her anything, she'd never judged him, never let him down. She was his best friend. He knew he could tell her everything, and she would never tell anyone else. He knew he could trust Andi with his tired soul.
"I like her, but..."
"What?"
"The risk is always there."
"Rejection?"
He nodded, "Yeah, and I don't know why it's scaring me so."
"You have to make the leap, Josh, no one can do it for you."
Looking at her with puppy dog eyes,"You sure you can't do it for me?" He teased.
She smiled at him,"Sorry, man, you gotta face this one alone."
"You're a cruel woman, Andi."
She looked at him with a strange light in her eyes,"No, Josh-man, I am a fool."
Surprised, he sat up,"Why would you say that?"
"Never mind, let's get you ready for this date."
She stood up, going to his room, she helped him pick out a shirt and pants, shooing him into the bathroom, she picked out a belt, and socks, and shoes. No jacket, too warm. When he was finished, she made him do a turn.
"Caliente, amigo! She's crazy if she doesn't jump all over you."
Josh laughed, he came over and hugged Andi really hard. Andi pulled away, looking at the floor, clearing her throat, she looked up at him.
"Go and have some fun, you big idiot! Call me when you get home."
Josh and Andi walked out the front door together. He walked her to her car, holding the door for her. She got in, and waited til Josh drove away, he waved as he pulled away, she waved back, her hand dropping to the steering wheel, she started the car, and drove away.

 

She was in his car, he'd made it to her house, picked her up without tripping all over himself, and now she was in his car. He could smell her perfume, it was making his palms sweat. She was turned so she could see his face, but ever since they'd gotten in the car, his mind had gone blank, he couldn't think of a thing to say, so he drove, white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel, in the direction of the restaurant he'd made the reservation at.
"Are you okay, Josh?" Pepper asked.
He glanced over at her, smiling nervously, "I'm sorry, I haven't been out on a date in a while."
"I've heard." She said, smiling at him.
His face fell at that news, "Oh. WHAT have you heard?"
She laughed again, "Nothing bad, just that you've had it rough the last year."
He sighed in relief.
"That's an understatement."
"So, where are you taking me?"
"Well, I heard that you like oriental food, so I was going to take you to my favorite, it's called the Dragon Seed."
"Sounds great."
They made small talk, arriving at the restaurant, Josh held her door open for her.

At the apartment that Andi shared with Susie Q and Katie, she pulled into her parking space, sighing heavily, she got out of the car. Walking up to the apartment, she opened the door, and went straight to her room. Katie was busy studying, but Susie Q saw the look on her long time friends face. She knocked softly on the door.
"Andi?" She said.
"Go away." Andi said, her voice, low and lifeless.
Susie opened the door anyway, Andi lay on the bed, facing the wall, her back to Susie.
"You okay, lady?"
"Just peachy." Andi said quietly.
"Need to talk?"
"Not really."
"BS! Roll over here and talk to me!" She sat on the bed, refusing to leave til her friend talked.
Andi rolled onto her back, her arm covering her face.
"What is it, Andi? You've been acting funny for a couple of weeks now."
"I'm a fool." She whispered.
"That's totally untrue! You are the least foolish person that I've ever known. What IS it, Andi?"
Andi sat up, and Susie could see that she'd been crying.
"I'm a fool to think he could ever feel anything but friendship for me."
"Oh, honey." Susie said, opening her arms, she held her friend, and let her cry.

**************************************

It had been 2 weeks since the first date, Josh and Pepper were seeing each other every day, he was even getting her to teach him how to sign. Josh had asked her to go away with him for a romantic weekend, he knew a great little inn on the coast. Pepper had agreed, Josh stopped in to say hi to Andi before he headed out for the weekend.
"Hey, Andi, how are you?" Josh walked up beside Andi, who was rifling through the files. He leaned over giving her a little smooch on the cheek. Andi looked up at him, the expression on her face somewhere between a "drop dead" look, and how Lizzie Borden must have looked before giving her mother 40 whacks.
"What do you want, Josh?" She asked, leaning on the files.
"Are you okay?" He asked, not accustomed to this behaviour from Andi.
"I'm fine, Josh, I'm just really busy."
"Okay, I just came to say good-bye, I'll be out of pocket for the weekend."
"Oh, yeah, the BIG get-a-way weekend." She had been trying to forget about that little tid-bit.
"Wish me luck." He said, hoping to get a smile out of her.
"Break a leg." She said, meaning it.
Taking it as a joke, Josh grinned, "Thanks, Andi, and thanks for giving me the push."
"Anytime, Josh." She said.
"See you , Monday?" HE asked.
"Yeah, Monday," She muttered, burying her face in the files again.
"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked, his hand on the doorknob, his face concerned.
She managed a smile, "Yeah, Josh, I'm okay..."
He left, closing the door.
"...as okay as I can be with my HEART BEING RIPPED OUT OF MY CHEST!!!!" She exclaimed throwing a couple of the files in the air, dropping into her chair, and burying her face in her arms on the desk.
There was a small knock on the door, and Katie poked her head in the door.
"Boss lady?" She asked, warily.
"What do you want, Katie?" Andi's muffled voice asked from the desktop.
"Just stopping by to say hi." She said, coming into the room.
"Don't you have homework to do?" The muffled voice inquired.
"Did it all at school."
"That's good, that's just...great. That's just abso-freakin'-lutely fantastic!" The voice said the tone getting more and more sarcastic.
Katie stood, walking to stand beside the only real mother she had ever known in her short life, reaching over she smacked her in the back of the head, HARD!
"HEY!" Andi complained, rubbing her head as she sat up, preparing to wreak retribution.
Katie put her finger in Andi's face.
"I have never known you to be so stupid!" Katie yelled at her.
"WHAT?!"
"Shut up and LISTEN for a change!"
Andi sat back down, "Yes, ma'am!" She said sarcastically.
"How...can..he...know...you ...like...him...if...you...never...tell...him?" She said the words slowly, one at a time, as if speaking to a mentally deficit person.
Andi looked pitiful,"What if he doesn't feel the same way?"
Katie shrugged,"At least you'll know."
"No guarantees."
"That's what you've been telling me for 2 years."
"Okay, the next time we talk, I'll tell him."
Katie looked at her skeptically.
"I will!" Andi said, irritated, both at Katie and herself.

 

Andi had moped around the apartment all day Saturday, not wanting to do anything, biting Susie Q's and Katie's heads off whenever they asked her a question, or had the nerve to suggest she was testy. She was miserable. She was unhappy. She was heart-broken. She couldn't stand thinking about Josh and Pepper, but she couldn't drive the image of the two of them happy in each other's arms out of her mind either. When she looked in the mirror, she saw Josh. When she looked at the TV, she saw Josh. Birds singing, sang his name. Grinding the lunch she couldn't eat in the garbage disposal she could swear that the disposal was saying GROOO-BAN!!! Shaking her head, she knew she had gone over the edge, she was certifiable, yep, completely and totally bonkers. Still, she couldn't get him out of her heart. How had this happened? She was ALWAYS in control! She didn't fall in love, that happened to people who had time on their hands. People who could afford to be silly and frivolous. It didn't happen to people like her. People who were always taking care of everyone around them. People who never had anyone to take care of them.
"I am such a fool." She whispered to herself, her hands gripping the counter. Hot tears rolled down her cheeks, splashing in the bottom of the empty sink. She stared at the trail of her tears as they rolled slowly down the drain. Her heart empty, her soul sad and weary. She had stood there for a long time, contemplating her tears when the door bell rang. And then rang a second time. Then a third time.
"Could SOMEONE get that, PLEASE?!" She called.
No one answered, and the doorbell rang a fourth time, angrily wiping the tears away on a paper towel, she went to get the door.
"WHAT do you WANT?!" She said intensely, quietly as she opened the door, her voice trailing off as she saw a totally despondent Josh in the doorway.
"She's going to BOSNIA! To help her father, she LEAVES on TUESDAY!" He said, quietly, disbelief and despair in his voice.
"I guess you need to talk," Andi said, standing back so Josh could come in. He walked into the living room, standing at the window, one hand in his pocket, one hand on the back of his neck.
Katie and Susie Q walked into the living room, Susie Q seeing Josh and her roomies face, ushered Katie to the front door.
"Come on, Katie, lets go get a Blizzard. My treat."
"I don't want a Blizzard."
"Yes, you do."
Susie gestured to Andi's face, Katie's eyebrows rising in understanding, headed for the door.
"I think I want a Blizzard. Bye, Andi, Josh."
Susie nodded at her friend, and followed Katie out the door.
Josh turned to Andi, his hands held out.
"Am I cursed or something, Andi?" He asked, desperately.
"Oh, Josh, I'm not the person to be asking right now." She said, her voice low and tired.
"Does success mean you never get to find the one person who can make success...mean something?"
She looked at him, her arms longing to hold him, her heart wanting to be his, but she couldn't. Not as a friend anymore, it wasn't in her, she had to be more.
"Josh, what did you expect?"
"I don't know, someone to love?"
"Yeah."
"Am I ever going to find someone, Andi?" He looked at her, his hands open, pleading with her, with the universe, with God.
"Some people are too dense to see what's right in front of them." She said softly.
"Exactly! I mean, what more could I have offered?"
"I can't do this anymore, Josh."
"What?"
She looked at him, she couldn't be his sexless sounding board, she loved him.
"I know you've had it rough, I know the bad things that have happened to you, but I'm not your mother, Josh, I can't be."
"Andi, I don't understand. What are you saying?"
She laughed, the bitterness in her heart threatening to throttle the breath from her body.
"I know you don't, and that's the tragedy."
"Andi?" He asked, throughly puzzled.
She looked at him, she'd never known his lips, she'd never known what it was to be held as a lover, she wanted it, she wanted it desperately.
"What the hell." She said, she grabbed his shirt, and kissed him, she kissed him hard. A desperate kiss, one that she was sure would never be repeated, that would change all that had been between them. A kiss that would make him look at her as a woman, not a therapist, not a mommy, a woman. Her arms slid around him, after the initial shock, his slid around her, when the kiss ended, she stepped away from him, tears spilling down her cheeks. She stepped further waiting for the words, the words that would end everything, that would rip away her dignity, her heart, her hope.
Josh stood in silence, his hand had gone to his lips, he stared at her in wonderment, speechless.
"Andi..." He whispered.
She couldn't look at him.
"Andi." He repeated.
"What do you WANT, Josh?" She asked, the question asked on many levels, really only wanting to know the answer to one.
He looked at her, for the first time in a long time, he knew the answer, "I want you, Andi. I want you."
He covered the distance between them, and pulled her to him, his arms desperate for her. He kissed her, their lips joining, their bodies fitting together, pressing closely. All the hunger, all the desire filling their senses, pulling them closer and closer, til they could only be one heart.

 

They lay in each others arms, in Andi's bed. Sleeping peacefully, contented, happy, are there any other adjectives for feeling good? There are? Then they felt that too. Josh stirred first, waking slowly, stretching, feeling her soft skin on his, he smiled. A real smile, for the first time in a very long time. He felt whole again. He'd thought that was something that would never happen again, and it felt really good. He could feel his heart again, he could love again. The ashes of his life had been reborn. He looked at her face, she was so pretty. Andi always seemed so old, always taking care of everyone else, when she slept, she looked like a baby. Innocent and free of all the burdens she carried in this life. More herself than she was ever allowed to be when awake. This was the true Andi, soft and sweet, able to love and be loved. Without smacking him in the head. He smiled and kissed her sweetly dreaming mouth, her lips smiling against his.
Her eyes opened, their lovely brown depths centering on his face.
"Wow. It wasn't a dream, you're still here." She said.
"Still here. What are you going to do with me, now?" He asked, feigning innocence.
She smiled, "I think I can come up with something."
"Me too." He answered, kissing her sweet mouth, her neck, points south.
**************************************
It was Sunday evening when they emerged from Andi's room. The need for sustenance greater than the needs of the heart, they foraged for snacks in the kitchen. Sitting on the sofa, with Josh behind her, his legs encircling her, leaning around her to devour the sandwich she'd made for him, he fed her a spanish olive, she nipped playfully at his fingers.
"Hey! Not the fingers!" He laughed, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her to him.
Andi leaned back, her eyes closed, she turned her face to him, kissing his neck, his jaw, the side of his mouth. Turning his head, he kissed her, her full mouth, savoring the taste. How had he missed this? He could have lost her.
"I'm sorry I was so dense." He said softly.
Andi laughed, "I think we were both pretty stupid."
"You, stupid? I don't think so."
"Oh, yeah, if I'd just said something, but I thought..."
"That I wasn't ready?"
She shook her head,"It's nothing..."
"No, what?"
She had a hard time looking at him,"I thought that maybe you would have a hard time loving...someone like...me..."
Thinking to herself,"Coward, you can't even say it!"
"What do you mean?" Josh asked.
"Someone...LIKE...me..."
Josh looked at her totally puzzled, "I'm sorry, Andi, I'm not understanding."
"What I used to do."
"OH!" He paused, "Oh."
He thought about it for a moment, "I know this sounds crazy, but I'd completely forgotten that part. I guess I just never thought of you that way. I don't think about it. At all. Really."
"I'm sure other people will be only too glad to remind you." She said, a little worried.
Josh looked at her, "Hey, we just got together, let's not worry about that yet. We'll worry about tabloids later. Right now, you need to kiss me."
"Really."
"Yes, right now, I need a kiss."
"I should take the dishes back to the kitchen."
"Not before you kiss me."
"I can't leave this mess in here."
"Live dangerously."
"What the hell." She said, meeting his lips.

 

The chinese believe you shouldn't speak your good fortune out loud too often for fear the gods will hear and envy your happiness, sending misfortune your way in retribution for daring to be happy. Andi understood this custom. She and Josh had been unofficially a couple for a month now, and she was sure something would come along to spoil it anytime. Katie and Susie Q were the only ones who knew they were together, Andi wouldn't let Josh tell anyone else. She knew it was stupid. But she couldn't bring herself to tempt fate. He'd been out of town for 8 days, it was torture, he'd be home today, and they were going to have dinner tonight, at his house. She'd bought a new dress, never having known this feeling, she was a little nervous. Always the one in control, always the one who ran things, it was so odd to be at the mercy of her heart. Just thinking of him made her dizzy, the way his hands felt on her body. After her past life, she thought she could never feel like this again. That one man could be all she wanted. Deep in her heart, it felt good. Safe.
"Yo, Andi, I got about 10 kids coming over from St. Matthews, they need bed space, think we can break out the cots and squeeze em in the dorms?" Susie asked as she stuck her head in the door, catching Andi staring off into space.
Grinning like an idiot, she walked in, closing the door, she sat and looked at Andi.
"What?" Andi asked a little irritated.
"He gets back tonight."
"Yeah, so."
"You are so in love."
"No, I am not in love. No, no way, not a chance, I do NOT give my heart away. No, chica!"
"So we got bed space for the St. Matthews overflow?" She asked.
"What overflow?"
Susie snickered,"You didn't hear a word I said until I sat down."
Sighing heavily, Andi looked at her friend.
"Okay, I like him a lot."
"He is cute."
"Very cute."
"The eyes."
"Oh, yeah, the eyes."
"Great hands."
"AMAZING hands!" Andi sighed, resting her chin in her hand.
"Not a bad butt, either."
"Okay, that's far enough."
Susie laughed.
"Why don't you take the afternoon, you're gonna be useless to us."
"Keep things going?"
"Of course!"
Andi walked around her desk, grabbing her bag, smacking Susie in the head as she walked past.
"Hey, what's that for?"
"For thinking about his butt."
"I can dream."
"Later, chica."
"Have fun!"
Andi drove home, she wasn't sure what she was going to do until time to see Josh, she just knew she couldn't stay at the office.

 

Andi lounged in the tub, bubbles all around, candles burned on the counter, her eyes were closed, soft music played from the radio. She was relaxed perfectly comfortable, the water warm and soothing. She would be calm when Josh got home, she would be graceful, she would...was that the door? No one should be home, yet.
She heard footsteps in the hall, a soft knock on the door.
"Andi?"
"JOSH!" She jumped out of the tub, grabbing a towel, she rubbed off the bubbles, crossing to the door, she barely had it around herself as she opened the door. Then she was in his arms, their lips meeting, she greeted him.
Hugging him hard, she smiled.
"You're early!"
"We finished ahead of schedule, I got an earlier flight. I couldn't wait to see you."
He kissed her again, holding her tightly.
Someone cleared their throat behind them in the hall. Both of them froze, Andi peering slowly over Josh's shoulder.
"Oh, God!" She squeaked, ducking behind Josh, who turned around.
"Hi, Mom." He said, grinning amiably, he'd had her stop here, she had picked him up at the airport.
Lindy stood in the hall, her arms crossed, one eyebrow raised, holding out his cell phone.
"You left your phone in the car. It's David. Why don't you let Andi get dressed? I'll wait in the living room."
Josh took the phone from his mother's hand.
"David? Yeah, can I call you back? Not a bad time, exactly, I'll explain later. Bye."
Lindy turned and walked into the living room, Josh turned back around to Andi.
"She hates me." Andi whispered.
"She doesn't hate you. Go get dressed, it had to happen sooner or later."
She dressed, taking a deep breath, she came out to the living room, Lindy falling silent when she entered the room.

 

Andi had a "john" pull a knife on her early in her former "career", at this moment in her life, she thought that would have been preferable to facing Josh's mother. Her knees shook, her palms were slicker than a snail on an oil slick, her mouth drier than Death Valley at high noon. Her heart was pounding so hard her vision was vibrating. Could you die from meeting your boyfriend's mother? Taking a deep breath, she walked in and sat on the arm of the chair Josh was sitting in, Josh gave her a reassuring smile, patting her on the knee, not removing his hand, almost a defiant gesture to give her the courage she needed to endure the "Mother Face". Lindy was famous for it, it had gotten Josh off stand-by when he needed to be on the mainland a day early from the family's Hawaiian vacation. It had helped launch her son's career, now it was leveled on Andi. She could feel the power of motherly concern working on her will, having to crush the desire to cower, while spilling her guts.
"Hi, Andi, sorry to burst in on you like that. How have you been?" Lindy said, smiling.
Andi was thrown off, was this a diversionary tactic? Offer the hand of friendship then lob in a grenade blowing the adversary out of the water when they don't expect it?
"Fine, I'm fine, thanks, Mrs. Groban."
"Since you and Josh are seeing each other, I think you can call me Lindy." The smile again.
Was she being buttered up? Damn! Too little experience in these situations, and no online courses in it! She looked desperately at Josh for a clue, nope, no help there. He had the smile on his face, too.
"Okay, Lindy."
Josh squeezed her leg,"It's okay."
Totally confused now, sweat beaded on Andi's upper lip. Her head threatening to explode from the tension.
Finally sensing her distress, Lindy smiled again.
"Andi, it's all right, Josh told me you were uncomfortable with letting people know about your relationship. I have to tell you, I haven't seen him so happy in a long time." Her eyes got a little misty.
"We're not in trouble?" Andi blurted out, thinking to herself, "Stupid, stupid, stupid!"
Lindy laughed,"I learned a long time ago, you have to let go and let young men make their own decisions, no matter how much you think they don't know what they're doing."
Andi laughed, then stopped, thinking to herself, "Did she just insult me? Or Josh? Was that a joke? AAAHHHH!!!!"
Laughing, Josh looked at Andi, "That was a joke, babe."
"It was?" She said, closing her eyes at her own dumbness,"Stupid, stupid, stupid, shut UP, already!" She thought to herself.
"It's okay, Andi, I haven't bumped off one of Josh's girlfriends in a long time." Lindy said, completely dead-pan.
"Is that what happened to Marissa?" Josh asked, his face completely serious.
"Mm-hm, and Joannie, Charlotte, Phyllis..." She paused to think.
"I wondered why Chris and I were never allowed in the basement."
"Couldn't let you discover the graves."
"Good parenting."
"Of course, the children always come first."
Finally clicking to the fact they were teasing her, Andi let go of the breath she must have been holding since Lindy discovered them in the hall.
They chatted amiably for a while, Lindy finally excusing herself to go home. Josh and Andi stood on the curb, watching her drive away.
"Are you sure she doesn't hate me?" Andi asked as they waved at Lindy.
Josh shook his head and laughed, grabbing Andi, he slung her over his shoulder and carried her up to the apartment.
"Cause you can tell me, I'll only have to go jump off a bridge if she does, it's not really important, it's only my whole LIFE..." She babbled on as he carried her into the apartment, closing the door. Only his mouth on hers silenced her, then there were other, better things to talk about.

 

Josh was happy, happier than he'd been in a long time. Andi sat beside him, she was looking gorgeous. They were on their way to a fund raiser for the center, Josh would be performing. This would'nt be the first time Andi had encountered Grobanites, but it would be the first time as his companion. It would be a wonderful night, concert, dinner, and dancing. Josh couldn't wait to hold her in his arms in front of everyone. To him, she would be the most beautiful woman in the room. He positively beamed, Andi noticed the huge smile on his face, and couldn't resist asking what he was thinking.
"I was thinking how much I'm going to enjoy telling everyone you're with me." He sighed.
She laughed, "You big goof."
He smiled, enjoying how pleased it made her.
"You're going to enjoy it too!"
"Yes, I'm going to enjoy it. I can't wait to see how people react that the former "call girl" got the boy, finally!"
"This is going to be great!" He grabbed her hand kissing it.
They pulled up to the civic center, Andi felt like Cinderella at the ball. The night was magical. Josh sang "All I Ask of You", they met with Grobanites after the performances, then went to the dinner, lots of them following. They danced all night, holding each other, laughing, people watching. Andi felt accepted in this world, at last. At last! She had walked away from the past, she had left it in the dust, she was free of the stigma of being unclean. Her heart was light, she was with Josh and all was right with the world. She didn't have to hide behind a mask, pretending that comments people made about her didn't hurt. They shut the place down, finally leaving about 1AM, then headed back to Andi's apartment.
Andi leaned over and kissed Josh on the cheek.
"I had the BEST time tonight!" He said.
"Me too." She smiled, her heart as free as a bird in flight.
"Can I stay with you tonight?" He asked.
She leaned over taking his arm, resting her head on his shoulder.
"You can stay any old time you want to."
"Yeah?" He smiled at her.
"Yeah." She smiled back.
Josh looked at her, "I gotta tell you something,Andi."
"What?" She asked, when he paused for a long time.
"I love you."
"Excuse me?" She whispered.
"I love you. Is that okay?" He said softly.
She hid her face on his arm, not wanting him to see the tears that gathered in the corners of her eyes. Not wanting him to know how desperately she'd wanted him to say this.
"Yeah, I kind of love you, too."
"Good." He said, taking a deep breath, not wanting her to see how terrified he'd been to say those words, the "L" word, the big commitment. He thought she felt the same, it was such a relief to hear the words come out of her mouth. She loved him, too. OKAY, now he could take on the world, SHE LOVED HIM!!!!!! His soul all but shouted it to the heavens, SHE LOVES ME!!!!!!! Reaching over he put his arm around her.
They reached her apartment, letting them in, they looked around, Susie and Katie were asleep. They tiptoed to Andi's room. Josh grabbed her, causing Andi to shush him.
"We'll wake the "children". Andi whispered, giggling.
"They'll just have to deal, I have to make some noise tonight." Josh whispered back, also giggling.
"Okay, but keep it as quiet as possible."
"Gotcha."
They closed the door, Susie and Katie peeking out as soon as the door was closed.
""Mom" and "Dad" are home." Katie giggled.
"Yeah, life is complete, go back to bed."
"Yes, ma'am." Katie said, closing the door quietly, not wanting to disturb her pseudo-parents.

 

Josh woke to thunder crashing, a storm had blown in, a bad one by the sound of the rain pelting the windows. Rolling over, he discovered Andi wasn't there. Lightning illuminating the bedroom, the power was out, Josh got dressed. He'd left some clothes here, grabbing jeans and a tshirt, and a light jacket, he walked out to the living room. Still no Andi. He walked into the kitchen, she sat at the table, a newspaper open in front of her. She didn't look up as he walked in, she seemed frozen over the pages. Something wasn't right, lightning crashing outside the window, allowing him to see her face clearly, a look of despair.
"Andi, what is it?"
Her head came up slowly, her eyes the last thing to focus on his face, she was pale, the look in her eyes one of total defeat.
"Andi, what's wrong?" He walked over to her, trying to put his arms around her, she stood, putting her hands up, walking to the sink, leaning over it, her hands on the edge, the only thing allowing her to stay standing.
Josh looked at the newspaper, looking for answers, they had to be here. His eyes widened in shock, an article and pictures, what could only be described as pornographic pictures with all the really bad things blocked out. Pictures of several men, and a woman. He looked closer, at the face, the eyes...
"Oh, my God..." He whispered, seeing the article, and a shot of him and Andi taken last night at the concert.
"What is this?" He asked.
"What does it look like?" She answered, quiet fury in her voice.
"Where...where did these pictures come from?"
"I'm not sure." She answered, her voice breaking.
"Do you know these men?"
She turned to face him, leaning back on the counter, hugging herself.
"Only one."
"Where did these pictures come from?" He sat at the table, closing the paper, unable to look at it anymore. He felt numb, unable to think to concentrate.
"I didn't know those pictures existed until this morning."
"Where did they come from?"
"The blond was a regular, when I was 16..."
"SIXTEEN!" Josh exclaimed, putting his face in his hands.
"..he got me stoned, he must have taken the pictures while I wasn't in control of myself, Josh I don't remember any of that." She walked to stand beside him.
"You don't remember, that's pretty convenient."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing,...I just...you did drugs?" He stood facing her, feeling he didn't know her. Feeling outside himself.
"NO! That was my one experience with drugs, I didn't even smoke pot! Why are YOU so upset? That's ME plastered all over the papers! MY face, MY body!" She yelled at Josh.
"I KNOW it's you, it's pretty obvious it's YOU!" He yelled back.
"And what the hell is THAT supposed to mean? This is going to hurt me with the board, I could lose my job at the center over this!"
In one of those surreal moments, Josh saw himself saying it, knowing it was wrong, knowing it was heartless, selfish, cruel, but he couldn't stop himself. It was in motion, nothing could call it back, he opened his mouth and the words came out. Words that he would regret for the rest of his life.
"I've got a LOT more to lose from this than you ever will!" He yelled at her, clapping his hand over his mouth, eyes wide in disbelief as soon as they were out of his mouth. Watching in self-loathing as the words travelled at the speed of sound to reach Andi's ears. He watched as she recoiled almost as if he'd physically struck her. Watched as her heart shut down to him, as her hand came to her face, as her eyes grew wide with pain.
"Oh, my God." She whispered.
"Oh, my God!" Josh whispered, walking over to her, only to have her pull away from him, walking to the door, her back to him, not wanting to even look at him at this moment.
"Oh, my God! Andi, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it,...I was just...I don't know, I'm sorry! I'm SO sorry! Please, Andi!" He pleaded with her, tears stinging at the corners of his eyes, slowly filling them, spilling down his cheeks.
She pushed through the door, walking into the living room, not wanting to even be in the same room with him. He followed, knowing he had to get her to talk, if she made him leave with this between them...he couldn't think about that, he just had to make her talk to him.
"Andi, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it! I didn't! Please, please talk to me!"
Turning, her face stone, "I think you made your meaning crystal clear. You should go, Josh." She said very quietly.
"NO! I'm not going til we talk about this!"
"Fine." She said, she went down the hall to her bedroom, Josh following. She slammed the door in his face, Josh hearing the key turning, as lightning crackled outside.
"Andi, please, come out, please talk to me!"
He heard drawers slamming, a door opening and closing. He knocked on the door.
"Andi, please talk to me!" He called to her through the door.
Katie and Susie Q walked in the front door, shaking water off themselves.
"ANDI!" Katie called, heading down the hall to Andi's room, carrying a copy of the offending newspaper.
"Oh, Josh." She said, hiding the paper behind her.
"We've already seen it." Josh said, dejectedly.
"What's going on?" Susie asked.
"We had a fight, I said something terrible...terrible..."
The two friends noticed his eyes were red from crying.
"What did you say to her?"
"It's not important! Is there another key, I have to get her to talk to me, I have to make it right."
Susie looked at him, finally deciding it was the right thing to do, she got the master key, letting Josh into Andi's room. He went in, she wasn't there! The window was open, he looked out, she'd gone down the fire escape. He went back out into the hallway.
"She's gone! Where would she go, Susie? I have to find her!"
"She goes walking when she's mad, so she can cool off."
"We'll help you look." Katie volunteered.
They ran down the stairs, at the door to the street, Josh looked at them.
"If you find her first, call me on my cell, please?"
"We will."
They went out into the storm, Josh going right, Katie and Susie going left.
He had to find her, she had to forgive him, she had to.

 

Rain drenched, half running, half walking, scanning the nearly deserted streets for the one face he needed to see, Josh continued searching. He had to find her. Andi, Susie, and Katie lived in an apartment above a store, on a street of shops with apartments above them, they liked the shopping convenience. The power was still out, Josh frantically searching the windows of shops as he passed by, Andi hadn't been gone long, she couldn't have gone too far, he had to find her.
He passed a music store, a battery operated boom box in the door way filling the streets with music, playing a song he knew, one that announced his despicable behaviour to the world.
The song playing, blending with the slap, slap sound of his sneakers on the wet pavement as he ran searching, desperate to find Andi. Now in his head, it played like a mantra of blame in his head and heart.

I've done, I've blown it again
Gone and lost my one true friend
If I can't stop it, it's gonna end
I've done it.
I've blown it again.

He covered another block, looking in all the shops, stopping scanning the other side of the street, unable to see clearly through the pouring rain. Not seeing much, he continued on, trying to outrun the litany of blame the song ran through his mind.

Diggin up the heart within me
Dismay is the only feeling I see...
Such a thing as too much information,
trapped inside this condemnation.

Hands cupped to see through the dark inside, he peered into the coffee shop, she wasn't there, he was beginning to feel desperate, running from shop to shop, hoping...hoping he would see her face. Hoping he could make her listen, hoping he could somehow make right the horrible thing he'd said to her. The song continued in his head, his heart heavy with guilt, with shame.

Sorry I said it
My motor mouth done did it again.
Exceeding the speed limit, and now I'm feeling it.
I'm knee deep in it....

Lightning flashing across the sky, he ran, soaked to the skin, shivering, he ran, searching every shop, looking down every street. Driven by his guilt, he viewed every face he passed, splashing through puddles gathering quickly on the streets. The song keeping time with the storm.

Cause I admit it, I was wrong with no right to expect
Maybe you might accept my apology...
I can't believe I'd end up dissin' a friend...

Out of breath, his heart aching with guilt, he stopped under an awning, breathing heavily, but only for a second, his pain couldn't be considered, only Andi, only Andi, he couldn't stop until he found her, until she forgave him. Words, the words of the song playing.

Sticks and stones break bones and kill.
Word wounds take long to heal.
I was wrong for real.
And I ain't even gonna try to deny...

There she WAS! About a block and a half away. He started to run. The song running out in his head.

Cause I missed the mark,
And I missed it wide.

A huge truck on the curbside lane of the street hit an equally huge puddle, sending a huge spray of water into the air, blinding the driver of the Jeep in the inside lane, the driver swerved. Josh was a block away from Andi. The Jeep swerved into the oncoming traffic lane, right in front of a Cadillac SUV going much faster than was safe for the hazardous conditions. Josh was half a block from Andi. The Cadillac SUV swerved to avoid the Jeep, right in front of a vegetable delivery truck, which swerved, hitting a lamp post, knocking it over. Josh was 20 feet from Andi. The lamp post, seeming to move in slow motion, was heading right for Andi. Eyes wide in horror, Josh screamed, "ANDI, NOOO!!!!" Pulling out all the stops he ran, not for his life, but hers. Andi not aware of her danger until Josh had called her name. She looked up, seeing the lamp post coming right at her, where she stood on the curb, she'd been waiting to cross the street. As she saw what was coming, Josh reached the other side of the street, launching himself off the curb, he dove for Andi, taking them both out of the way of the lamp post, Josh rolling around to protect her, they slammed into the glass entrance of the shop she'd been in, going through it, to land in a heep on the floor, just as the lamp post fell into the street.

 

Stunned, the breath knocked out of her, Andi struggled to sit up, Josh was underneath her. She managed to sit as people in the shop came running up, and people in the street came to gather around the entrance, spectators to one of the little spectacles of life.
Josh's eyes were closed, Andi shook him.
"Josh, are you alright?" She asked, a trickle of blood ran down the side of his face from a cut on his forehead, his face pale. Alarmed, she checked him, no pulse, he wasn't breathing!
"Oh, my God! Josh!" She shook him again, her mind still fuzzy from going through a window.
"What do I do? What do I do?" She said.
Susie and Katie came running up, they had run out of places to look and come back the way Josh had gone. Seeing the window, they'd come over to look and found their two friends inside. Susie seeing Josh not moving pulled her cell out of her pocket, giving it to Katie.
"Call 911, now!" She whispered.
Katie stepped back to call for help.
Susie pushed through the people surrounding Josh and Andi.
"MAKE WAY, PEOPLE!" She shouted as she pushed her way through. She knelt beside Andi.
"Andi."
Andi looked up, seeing Susie's face, "Susie, he's not breathing!"
"Okay, we can do this, remember your emergency training for the clinic, we have to start CPR until help gets here! I'll do the compressions, you'll have to breath for him!"
Still looking dazed, Andi looked helplessly at the still form of the only man she'd ever really loved. A man who'd risked his life to save hers.
"ANDI!" Susie yelled at her, shaking her.
"We have to help him! Snap out of it!"
She nodded her head, together they rolled him on his back, finding the xiphoid process, Susie measured two fingers width and placed the heel of her hands, Andi extending Josh's chin, opening his airway, her mouth to his to breath the breath of life back into his body. they began the rhythmic process to bring Josh back.
"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, breath!" Susie said quietly keeping count.
The people around them talking quietly, concentrating on the process, Susie and Andi ignored them til one man mentioned the paper.
"Isn't that the girl who was in the paper today?" He asked his wife.
"Yes, that's her. Hmph! Takes all kinds."
"The one that was in those awful pictures?" Someone else asked.
"Yeah, that's her." Another man whipsered.
People continuing to whisper as they worked. Andi couldn't take it anymore, between saving breaths, she yelled at the people around them.
"My name is Andrea Renee Vasquez!*breath* Those pictures were my PAST!*breath*I'm TRYING to save my FUTURE, here!*breath*I have a Master's degree in psychology!*breath*And I'm 2 years away from my PhD!*breath*So just SHUT UP, we're BUSY!*breath*"
Hot tears spilled down her cheeks, her mouth inches from Josh's, she whispered to him.
"Come on, baby.*breath*Don't leave me alone.*breath*Please, Josh!*breath*Don't leave me!*breath* I love you.*breath*I forgive you!*breath*Just don't leave me!*breath*"
Josh coughed, taking a deep breath, his eyes opened. He looked around a little confused, his eyes resting on Andi's face. He reached up, she took his hand, leaning over him, he struggled to sit up.
"Don't, baby, you could be hurt." Andi said, her face worried, and tear stained. She slid her legs under Josh, propping him up.
He looked at her face, smiling.
"There was a light." He said, his face glowing from some inner truth.
"Really?"
"I saw Justine. She told me I could stay where she was if I wanted to."
"Why didn't you stay?" Andi asked, tears filling her eyes.
"I heard you call me. I had to come back for you." He whispered. "I love you, Andi. I'm so sorry I hurt you."
"It's all right. It doesn't matter. I love you, too."
An ambulance arrived, the paramedics coming in with a gurney and equipment. Josh protested he didn't want to go to the hospital, Andi insisted. He smiled at her, and did as he was told, for her peace of mind. Andi rode in the back of the ambulance with Josh. They had put all sorts of things on him as a precaution. She watched his face, held his hand. She knew she was lucky. Blessed.
At the hospital after time in the ER, calling his parents, assuring them that Josh was allright, minor cuts and bruises, minor concussion. Probably just shock that had caused the problem,they got him settled in a room, overnight observation. He HAD been clinically dead for 5 minutes. The nurse came in with a sleeping pill, Josh protested, Andi insisted again. As the pill was taking effect, Josh asked Andi to hand him his pants. She picked them up and handed them to him. He rifled through the pockets and found what he was looking for, handing them back to her, she hung them up again.
Scooting over on the bed, he patted the empty spot,"Come lay down with me."
"Josh, you nearly died..." She started.
"I just want to hold you. You can lay on top of the covers so we don't scandalize the nurses." The look in his eyes was impossible to say no to. Gingerly she crawled onto the narrow bed, sharing the pillow, their arms around each other, she felt at peace again.
"Andi, will you do something for me?" He asked.
"What do you WANT, Josh?" She whispered.
He held out a set of keys,"I want you to move in with me. I don't want to risk losing you again. I was gonna ask you this morning."
She looked at the keys for a long time. She'd been on her own for so long, she wasn't sure she could change her ways. But then Josh was worth a little compromise, wasn't he?
Andi looked into his eyes, those sweet brown eyes, who could say no to those eyes?
"Okay."
Josh sighed. "Thank goodness."
"Were you worried?"
"After this morning, yes."
"You do know you're forgiven?"
"Yes, thank you. I love you."
"I love you, too."
"I'm gonna go to sleep now."
"Okay."
"Will you be here when I wake up?"
"You know it."
"Good."
She held him while he drifted off to sleep. She held him because she wanted to. She held him, and she understood him.