Let�s talk about sex,
baby. We can admit sex is a large part of us. We have sexual appetites.
How can we NOT think about IT when it�s forced so much in our culture, through
advertisements and every type of media we see? Everything is romanticized
and sexed up.
Even I have a large
sexual appetite�God built us with sex drives�so that we could enjoy sex
at the proper time�but honey, PURITY IS POSSIBLE.
The appetite can be controlled. In order for us to really enjoy sex the
way it was designed, we gotta be patient.
Some things are just worth keeping sacred and being patient about. Sex is
not one of those instincts we should just decide to fulfill simply because
we can. It takes much more consideration than deciding to eat a cheeseburger
when you�re hungry.
But we are not FAST FOOD. The people we�re attracted to are not just food, meals for our appetite. We are not to be CONSUMED, and we should not treat others as a good dinner. We shouldn�t decide to use someone for a make-out session because we really want to kiss someone.
"She�s got nice apples�"
"I wonder how good of a banana he has�"
We are so much more than that! Why skip to the dessert and miss out on the wining and dining? Maybe we get hungry and take what�s right in front of us or what we can get fast: fast food, instead of wait to get home and cook up something really good. Than we are disappointed with the lack of quality in the food. Why move so fast, BINGE, and find out the food wasn�t so good for us, and wish we would have dieted? (I�m talking about jumping into everything from meaningless make-out sessions to casual sex).
We�re
consumers.
We�re not used to waiting. We want it NOW. It doesn�t even matter if it
tastes really good; as long as we can fill our hunger quick. Think about
McDonald�s. They�ve made an art out of assembly line fast food.
The quality
of food goes down cuz they make it quick and you eat it and either feel
gross or get hungry again an hour later, and wonder why you ate there. It
doesn�t leave your appetite satisfied. You remember that your favorite home
cooked meal that someone spent a lot of time one tastes so much better.
Also, think about how bad for us the grease and stuff in that food is. The
more often we eat it, the closer we get to a heart attack�Hmm�kind of like
the risks you take when you have sex.
Filling hunger. That�s what sex has become in our culture. Instinctual. Quick. Unconnected. A mere activity. People do it because your body says it�s hungry and you say "okay, I want to fill that hunger. It�s only natural." But pleasures often seem better from afar. "The grass is always greener on the other side." You want what you can�t have. If you haven�t tasted something, it seems all the more desirable. But once you compromise and allow yourself to "sample," what you think can be an innocent encounter (even just a make-out session), ends up putting chains on you. You can never go back. Your past will leave scars. Don�t just expect you can do what you want now and later you�ll clean up your act and expect God to clean up your mess. God wants to heal your life, but choices always have consequences. Worse than physical risks, like STD�s, sex will leave emotional scars that will surface as other problems when you do finally decide to make a lifetime commitment. For example, it can form a lack of trust, or a feeling that you are compared to your partner�s past lovers.
A person may begin to numb themselves to the great bond sex can be, so that it does not leave them feeling as hurt, and sex is a non-emotional physical activity. OR They experience the pain of repeatedly creating an emotional and spiritual bond to someone and cutting it, hoping it will not leave a scar. Only God can heal those wounds and make someone new again.
Sex is not even the main course! Many people have been hurt by the fact that our culture over-emphasizes the pleasure and importance of sex. You may have decided to have sex for the first time out of curiosity, or you may have sex in a relationship because you think that�s just what you were supposed to do. Many people I�ve talked to who had this experience said "It [sex] just wasn�t what I expected." Or "I figured out later that I could have waited." Or "I wish I wouldn�t have given myself to him in that way. He didn�t deserve it."
It�s also a fact that sex is more pleasurable within a marriage commitment. Monogamous married couples are statistically the most sexually satisfied couples. That�s because sex is intensely emotional, and is enjoyed more when it is based on trust (proven by commitment) and love (not just enjoyed for a physical activity).
To look at it another way, too much of a good thing will be unhealthy, the way food can make you fat and give you nasty cellulite. Diet from dating. Make friendships. Sex can wait. Look at all the meaningful relationships we have without sexual contact.
Feel empowered. YOU ARE NOT FAST FOOD. Know that you are in control of your body, your heart and your mind. Treat yourself well. In order to control yourself, it�s preventative maintenance. You must make sure you don�t surround yourself with things that will make your sexual appetite grow. Question what your favorite music and movies tell you about sex and romance. Look past the American romanticized ideology that says being in love is the only thing to live for. For more explanation, see the next essay, RAPING THE MIND.
