FADE IN:
INT. GOLD FAMILY LIVING ROOM - 16 YEARS AGO
A pretty teenage girl sits on The Gold Family couch. She
flips through the channels and settles on 'Family Matters.'
DUNCAN (V.O.)
Pamela Allen. The only girl Nash
and I ever fought over.
A young DUNCAN walks into the room. He's holding a plate of
cookies. He hands them to PAMELA.
YOUNG DUNCAN
I made you these cookies Pamela.
PAMELA takes them from DUNCAN's hand.
PAMELA
Oh, aren't you sweet.
She turns back to the TV just as DUNCAN's about sit next to
her.
The camera shows a young NASH at the top of the stairs. He
throws a softball at DUNCAN and connects directly to the side
of his head. He lays on the floor bleeding.
DUNCAN (V.O.)
That didn't turn out well for me.
CUT TO:
INT. DUNCAN'S BEDROOM - PRESENT DAY
An alarm wakes up DUNCAN.
He lies in the exact same position as he was as a child
getting hit in the head with a softball. Instead of blood
there is just a small scar.
DUNCAN (V.O.)
I had a feeling that Ciara was
going to be round two. Only this
time no balls to the head. You know
what I mean.
CUT TO:
EXT. OUTSIDE GOLD MINE
DUNCAN is unlocking the doors to his store. FRANCHILA slides
out of nowhere, right next to him.
FRANCHILA
(slyly)
Wanna hear what I heard?
DUNCAN
(unaffected)
Nope.
FRANCHILA
It has a lot to do with you.
DUNCAN
I'm sure it does.
FRANCHILA
I was talking to Jeffrey Newson,
and he says you're interested in
selling the store.
This gets DUNCAN's attention.
DUNCAN
Step into my office.
CUT TO:
INT. DUNCAN'S OFFICE
DUNCAN
You can't tell anyone. Especially,
Nash.
FRANCHILA
That's gonna cost you.
DUNCAN pulls out his checkbook.
FRANCHILA (cont'd)
Whoa whoa, I don't want your money.
I'm wealthy beyond your wildest
dreams. I want Frizzo gone.
DUNCAN
I don't know. Frizzo's one of my
best workers.
CUT TO:
INT. GOLD MINE MAIN ROOM
FRIZZO and NASH have set up a stack of boxes.
NASH
On three. One. Two. Three.
FRIZZO runs full blast into the boxes knocking them all over
and making a raquet.
CUT TO:
INT. DUNCAN'S OFFICE
The noise is heard well by the two men.
DUNCAN
Well, sometimes.
INT. GOLD MINE - LATER
NASH can be seen at the counter, apparently working on the
computer however likely it might be. DUNCAN approaches the
counter.
DUNCAN
(Suspiciously)
What are you doing?
NASH
Do you really want to know, or are
you just asking?
NASH'S excitement suddenly comes to the forefront before
DUNCAN can answer. He turns the computer screen.
DUNCAN
What is it?
NASH
It's loading. It's two midgets
blowing a horse.
DUNCAN (V.O.)
For some reason I felt tempted to
ask...
DUNCAN (cont'd)
Why two?
NASH
Because one has to--
DUNCAN
(Interrupting)
Yeah, I get it. Thanks.
DUNCAN (V.O.) (cont'd)
I'll never learn...
DUNCAN (cont'd)
Hows the new girl working out?
NASH
(Shrugs)
Every time I try to hit on her she
yells, "Death to America!"
FRANCHILA slides in to the conversation suddenly.
FRANCHILA
Sounds fiesty.
NASH
(To FRANCHILA)
I hope you die.
FRANCHILA
Yeah?
NASH
Yes.
FRANCHILA
Well, have you ever been fucked in
the ass?
NASH and DUNCAN stand completely still, unable to comprehend
what just happened.
CUT TO:
INT. GOLD MINE - LATER
NASH is seen tailing FRIZZO as he carries a box.
NASH
I need a place to stay.
FRIZZO
So?
NASH
I'll give you a 2 cent an hour
raise.
FRIZZO
Why don't you have a place?
NASH
I got evicted.
FRIZZO
Why?
NASH
Apparently I hadn't paid in around
3 months. Which makes sense, I
guess. It was around the time I
fired my accountant...
CUT TO:
INT. BANK - FLASHBACK
In the middle of a busy bank NASH furiously slaps a balding
man in a suit and stomps on his shiny shoes.
CUT TO:
INT. GOLD MINE
NASH
We had a disagreement regarding
Saved By The Bell: The College
Years.
FRIZZO
(Points off screen)
Hey, look!
NASH looks, sees nothing. He looks back and FRIZZO is gone.
CUT TO:
INT. GOLD MINE - LATER
NASH now appears to be pestering CIARA as ASHLEY watches,
vaguley interested.
NASH
Why not?
CIARA
I don't allow men not sleeping with
me to live under my roof.
NASH
What are you, a communist? I bought
you ice cream!
CIARA slaps NASH and walks away. NASH turns his attention to
ASHLEY.
NASH (cont'd)
And you?
ASHLEY
You could sleep with my rottweiler
in the backyard if you like.
NASH walks away, frustrated and slightly embarrassed.
DUNCAN (V.O.)
While Nash was having problems
finding a place to stay, I was
trying to convince a few employees
that offing Frizzo was the right
thing to do. It started well
enough...
CUT TO:
INT. DUNCAN'S OFFICE
ANDREW sits across from DUNCAN, waiting for bad news.
DUNCAN (cont'd)
So, do you think Frizzo is a good
worker?
ANDREW begins to sweat, unsure which way to answer.
ANDREW
No?
DUNCAN
Good answer.
ANDREW
(Exhales)
Oh thank god.
CUT TO:
INT. DUNCAN'S OFFICE - LATER
DUNCAN and CIARA are now in the office.
CIARA
Go to hell.
DUNCAN
Okay, thanks a bunch. Are we still
on for dinner?
CIARA
(Shrugs)
How about lunch?
DUNCAN (V.O.)
High school all over again.
CUT TO:
INT. GOLD MINE - NIGHT
DUNCAN shuts off the lights in the store and readies to
leave.
NASH (O.S.)
Wait!
NASH runs to DUNCAN, afraid he will be locked in. He is
carrying a pillow.
DUNCAN
What the hell?
NASH
I got evicted. I needed a few hours
of sleep before I hit the bars.
DUNCAN
Why didn't you tell me?
NASH
I figured you wouldn't be
interested.
DUNCAN
(Chuckles)
Come on, I have an empty room. You
can crash at my place.
DUNCAN (V.O.) (cont'd)
I guess no matter how much you
drift from a younger sibling you
always feel obligated to help when
they're in need. And I wanted to do
one honest thing in a day full of
exactly the opposite.
CUT TO:
INT. DUNCAN'S APARTMENT
DUNCAN flips on the lights and NASH enters shutting his door
on the way in. NASH immediatley finds himself drawn to hid
brother's CD collection. DUNCAN pushes play on the message
machine.
FRANCHILA
(On the message machine)
Hey, scooter. I was just watching
Titanic and thinking of how you're
like Rose, letting Jack sink to the
bottom of the ocean. And Nash is
sort of like Jack. And I'm sort of
like that bearded guy crashing in
to the rock, who saves everyone at
the end. Or wait-- was that?
The message ends as FRANCHILA ponders what he's said.
NASH
(His back turned to
DUNCAN)
So, do you mind explaining that?
DUNCAN swallows up his pride and nods.
DUNCAN
I'm selling my half of the store.
NASH doesn't but turn and look his brother in the face. He
leaves the apartment, his back still to DUNCAN.
ON THE NEXT GOLD MINE GUTTED...
DUNCAN (V.O.)
Frizzo hears the news.
DUNCAN and FRIZZO are seen shaking hands in the store.
DUNCAN (cont'd)
I'm really sorry. Rest assured your
future is secure at The Gold Mine.
FRIZZO
So am I.
FRIZZO rips his hand away from DUNCAN and smiles. DUNCAN
smells his hand.
DUNCAN
I hope you die.
FADE OUT.