"the slacker mafia: Lost scenes"
This is Marty, friends. So while filming Matthew Trixie and I decided we'd be jumping on to the set at random times and shooting alternate takes of scenes featuring us instead of Norm. Here's a look at our debauchery.
SCENE ONE: FUNNY CIGARETTES
INT. reeD'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM (past)
A huge cloud of smoke hovers over Blue, Reed, MARTY, and MATT. Marty and Matt look like average drug dealers while Blue and Reed look very high.
There are two recliners and a three person couch in the room but for whatever reason they are all piled on to the couch and passing around a glass pipe.
Marty
So you boys go to the school err...?
Reed
No. No I -
Blue
We uh -
Reed and Blue look at each other to gather their thoughts.
Matt
Fuck college girls?
Reed snaps his fingers and points at Matt.
REED
Exactly.
BLUE
I fuck college professors.
(Beat)
Male or female, really. 
Marty's mind is blown by this statement.
Matt
Ignore it, Marty. It's a trick.
SCENE TWO: COMPETITIVE DANCE
InT. vibes dance club - bar - later (past)
Reed, Blue, Marty, and Matt make their way through a crowd of drunken white people dancing on their endless walk to the bar area. Marty gets hit in the face with a blonde's big, flowing locks and looses his footing.
All four sit at the bar.
BLUE
(Lost)
Why are we here?
Marty and Matt can be heard off screen laughing hysterically at a drunk woman dancing alone against a pole.
REED
We'll figure it out.
BLUE
Let's get trashed.
Reed high fives Blue.
REED
Yes.
Reed and Blue's first drinks arrive. 
A time lapse occurs and it is seen that the empty drinks have been multiplied by seven. Reed is now arguing with a Puerto Rican bartender.
Blue, Marty, and Matt escort Reed away from the bar.
SCENE THREE: COMPETITIVE SINGING
INT. The rusty nail - bar area - later on (past)
Reed has calmed himself and now drinks a beer at this new bar with 4 more empties to his name. Blue laughs as a sad chubby man sings "Creep" by way of karaoke. Just as he finishes up Marty and Matt are nowhere to be found.
Matt
(Belligerent)
That sucked!
The chubby man tackles Matt. Marty intervenes and several more old hairy gentlemen jump in to break it up.
Blue
Bringing these guys was the best decision I've ever made.
REED
(Slurring)
I whole arted feed a need.
BLUE
Excuse me?
Reed shakes his head and slaps himself around a bit.
REED
(Smirking with confidence)
I wholeheartedly agree.
Blue pats Reed on the back.
BLUE
Good work.
REED
I need to visit the resting room.
Reed almost falls as he gets off the stool. He gathers himself and wobbles towards the bathroom.
INT. the RUSTY NAIL - BAR AREA (past)
Reed signals to Blue that it is time to leave. Keith enters the bar just after this happens, which perplexes Blue. Matt and Marty follow.
SCENE FOUR: STARTING A RIOT
ExT. City street - day (past)
Every member of the group puts their hands over their eyes as they leave the bar and the sun beats down on them. They all look rather strange in the sunlight, like vampires ready to disintegrate.
ReeD
(To Blue)
We can't continue this until I see my psychic.
Blue
(Quizzical)
Your what?
Matt
I'm driving!
Reed
(Yelling in a very parental tone)
No!
Matt kicks a soda can on the sidewalk and walks towards the car with Marty.
EXT. City street - night (past)
Matt and Marty are vomiting in unison outside a local bar as Blue falls out the front door. Reed soon follows with an incredible sense of anger in his eyes.
REED
(Mumbling)
I - I don't even - I don't even care, man.
BLUE
(Slurring)
Let's break something.
Marty and Matt both stop vomiting to stand up and cheer the idea on. 
REED
What did - who do we -
(Reed looks around)
What do we break?
Ext. city STREET - continuous - late night (past)
Reed and Blue burst on the scene of a phone booth and begin to attempt pushing it over. As success in the endeavor looks more and more ridiculous Reed gives up.
He reaches forward at the phone and strips it from the booth. Blue and Reed high five with passion.
At a small street that is slanted upward we see Matt and Marty roaming from car to car, looking checking for unlocked doors. Marty finds one and jumps in the air pointing at it until Matt jumps in.
Rather than attempting theft, Matt merely decides to put down the parking brake and send it careening in to the car parked behind it. The two run off laughing hysterically.
There is movement from inside the car that was hit. KEITH peeks his head out and looks to his left and to his right. Confused and inebriated he lies back down.
Outside a closed stereo store Blue is seen tossing a plastic garbage can at a big glass window. Each time he tosses the can he runs in the other direction, expecting broken glass and an alarm. Unfortunately he gets neither.
Blue
(Angrily)
This is stupid! 
Matt
I have fireworks!
EXT. wooded area - late night (PAST)
Reed, Blue, Marty, and Matt stand in a small clearing with sparklers lit. Surrounding them we see around twenty fireworks that have been previously lit.
INT. inSIDE REED'S CAR - early morning (past)
As Reed drives the crew back in to town we notice that no one else is awake. There is blood on Blue's shirt, Matt has a black eye, and Marty has a busted upper lip.
EXT. country road
Reed's car passes by and we see a large dent on the side of it and a broken headlight to go long with it.
SCENE FIVE: COMPETITIVE BEER PONG
INT. Blue'S HOUSE - GARAGE (past)
Blue plays a rather active game of beer pong versus Matt and Marty. He looks over every once in a while at Reed in annoyance. Reed is texting.
Blue throws a ping pong ball at Reed.
ReeD
What?!
BLUE
I'm in a handicap match, Reed. And you are not helping.
REED
I'm not in the mood tonight, Blue.
Blue walks the few steps over to Reed and puts his hands on his hips.
BLUE
She's with some dude she dated for two years. She won't even allow you to tell people you two are in a relationship.
REED
Yes, I'm aware of the situation.
Marty (O.S.)
Fuck her, man!
REED
(To Marty)
I already have.
BlUE
Yeah? Well, now she's fucking you. So get drunk.
Reed's phone begins to vibrate.
REED
It's her.
BLUE
Don't answer that.
Reed considers Blue's advice.
REED
Why not?
BLUE
It's not worth the weight on your mind.
(Walking back to the table)
Oh, and he's a marine. So...
REED
(Chuckles)
You not backing me up here?
BLUE
Well... I'd rather not die in a fight.
The vibrating stops.
REED
Okay then.
Reed gets up and joins an ecstatic Blue.
BLUE
(To Matt and Marty)
You guys are done.
There is a lapse and around thirty empty cans of beer are littered here and there. In the final game there is only one cup left on each side. Reed has the shot but looks a little hammered.
Blue (CONT'D)
(Whispering)
Line it up slightly to the left. Your drunk vision sees everything a tad to the left. Trust me.
REED
How sure are you?
BLUE
Seventy-four percent.
Reed shrugs and tosses the ball quickly. It rolls around the top of the cup and falls in. Reed and Blue jump in the air, celebrating.