"THE SLACKER MAFIA: LOST SCENES"

               This is Marty, friends. So while filming Matthew Trixie and I
               decided we'd be jumping on to the set at random times and
               shooting alternate takes of scenes featuring us instead of
               Norm. Here's a look at our debauchery.



               SCENE ONE: FUNNY CIGARETTES



               INT. REED'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM (PAST)

               A huge cloud of smoke hovers over Blue, Reed, MARTY, and
               MATT. Marty and Matt look like average drug dealers while
               Blue and Reed look very high.

               There are two recliners and a three person couch in the room
               but for whatever reason they are all piled on to the couch
               and passing around a glass pipe.

                                   MARTY
                         So you boys go to the school
                         err...?

                                   REED
                         No. No I -

                                   BLUE
                         We uh -

               Reed and Blue look at each other to gather their thoughts.

                                   MATT
                         Fuck college girls?

               Reed snaps his fingers and points at Matt.

                                   REED
                         Exactly.

                                   BLUE
                         I fuck college professors.
                             (Beat)
                         Male or female, really.

               Marty's mind is blown by this statement.

                                   MATT
                         Ignore it, Marty. It's a trick.



               SCENE TWO: COMPETITIVE DANCE



               INT. VIBES DANCE CLUB - BAR - LATER (PAST)

               Reed, Blue, Marty, and Matt make their way through a crowd of
               drunken white people dancing on their endless walk to the bar
               area. Marty gets hit in the face with a blonde's big, flowing
               locks and looses his footing.

               All four sit at the bar.

                                   BLUE
                             (Lost)
                         Why are we here?

               Marty and Matt can be heard off screen laughing hysterically
               at a drunk woman dancing alone against a pole.

                                   REED
                         We'll figure it out.

                                   BLUE
                         Let's get trashed.

               Reed high fives Blue.

                                   REED
                         Yes.

               Reed and Blue's first drinks arrive.

               A time lapse occurs and it is seen that the empty drinks have
               been multiplied by seven. Reed is now arguing with a Puerto
               Rican bartender.

               Blue, Marty, and Matt escort Reed away from the bar.



               SCENE THREE: COMPETITIVE SINGING



               INT. THE RUSTY NAIL - BAR AREA - LATER ON (PAST)

               Reed has calmed himself and now drinks a beer at this new bar
               with 4 more empties to his name. Blue laughs as a sad chubby
               man sings "Creep" by way of karaoke. Just as he finishes up
               Marty and Matt are nowhere to be found.

                                   MATT
                             (Belligerent)
                         That sucked!

               The chubby man tackles Matt. Marty intervenes and several
               more old hairy gentlemen jump in to break it up.

                                   BLUE
                         Bringing these guys was the best
                         decision I've ever made.

                                   REED
                             (Slurring)
                         I whole arted feed a need.

                                   BLUE
                         Excuse me?

               Reed shakes his head and slaps himself around a bit.

                                   REED
                             (Smirking with confidence)
                         I wholeheartedly agree.

               Blue pats Reed on the back.

                                   BLUE
                         Good work.

                                   REED
                         I need to visit the resting room.

               Reed almost falls as he gets off the stool. He gathers
               himself and wobbles towards the bathroom.



               INT. THE RUSTY NAIL - BAR AREA (PAST)

               Reed signals to Blue that it is time to leave. Keith enters
               the bar just after this happens, which perplexes Blue. Matt
               and Marty follow.



               SCENE FOUR: STARTING A RIOT



               EXT. CITY STREET - DAY (PAST)

               Every member of the group puts their hands over their eyes as
               they leave the bar and the sun beats down on them. They all
               look rather strange in the sunlight, like vampires ready to
               disintegrate.

                                   REED
                             (To Blue)
                         We can't continue this until I see
                         my psychic.

                                   BLUE
                             (Quizzical)
                         Your what?

                                   MATT
                         I'm driving!

                                   REED
                             (Yelling in a very
                              parental tone)
                         No!

               Matt kicks a soda can on the sidewalk and walks towards the
               car with Marty.



               EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT (PAST)

               Matt and Marty are vomiting in unison outside a local bar as
               Blue falls out the front door. Reed soon follows with an
               incredible sense of anger in his eyes.

                                   REED
                             (Mumbling)
                         I - I don't even - I don't even
                         care, man.

                                   BLUE
                             (Slurring)
                         Let's break something.

               Marty and Matt both stop vomiting to stand up and cheer the
               idea on.

                                   REED
                         What did - who do we -
                             (Reed looks around)
                         What do we break?



               EXT. CITY STREET - CONTINUOUS - LATE NIGHT (PAST)

               Reed and Blue burst on the scene of a phone booth and begin
               to attempt pushing it over. As success in the endeavor looks
               more and more ridiculous Reed gives up.

               He reaches forward at the phone and strips it from the booth.
               Blue and Reed high five with passion.

               At a small street that is slanted upward we see Matt and
               Marty roaming from car to car, looking checking for unlocked
               doors. Marty finds one and jumps in the air pointing at it
               until Matt jumps in.

               Rather than attempting theft, Matt merely decides to put down
               the parking brake and send it careening in to the car parked
               behind it. The two run off laughing hysterically.

               There is movement from inside the car that was hit. KEITH
               peeks his head out and looks to his left and to his right.
               Confused and inebriated he lies back down.

               Outside a closed stereo store Blue is seen tossing a plastic
               garbage can at a big glass window. Each time he tosses the
               can he runs in the other direction, expecting broken glass
               and an alarm. Unfortunately he gets neither.

                                   BLUE
                             (Angrily)
                         This is stupid!

                                   MATT
                         I have fireworks!



               EXT. WOODED AREA - LATE NIGHT (PAST)

               Reed, Blue, Marty, and Matt stand in a small clearing with
               sparklers lit. Surrounding them we see around twenty
               fireworks that have been previously lit.



               INT. INSIDE REED'S CAR - EARLY MORNING (PAST)

               As Reed drives the crew back in to town we notice that no one
               else is awake. There is blood on Blue's shirt, Matt has a
               black eye, and Marty has a busted upper lip.



               EXT. COUNTRY ROAD

               Reed's car passes by and we see a large dent on the side of
               it and a broken headlight to go long with it.



               SCENE FIVE: COMPETITIVE BEER PONG



               INT. BLUE'S HOUSE - GARAGE (PAST)

               Blue plays a rather active game of beer pong versus Matt and
               Marty. He looks over every once in a while at Reed in
               annoyance. Reed is texting.

               Blue throws a ping pong ball at Reed.

                                   REED
                         What?!

                                   BLUE
                         I'm in a handicap match, Reed. And
                         you are not helping.

                                   REED
                         I'm not in the mood tonight, Blue.

               Blue walks the few steps over to Reed and puts his hands on
               his hips.

                                   BLUE
                         She's with some dude she dated for
                         two years. She won't even allow you
                         to tell people you two are in a
                         relationship.

                                   REED
                         Yes, I'm aware of the situation.

                                   MARTY (O.S.)
                         Fuck her, man!

                                   REED
                             (To Marty)
                         I already have.

                                   BLUE
                         Yeah? Well, now she's fucking you.
                         So get drunk.

               Reed's phone begins to vibrate.

                                   REED
                         It's her.

                                   BLUE
                         Don't answer that.

               Reed considers Blue's advice.

                                   REED
                         Why not?

                                   BLUE
                         It's not worth the weight on your
                         mind.
                             (Walking back to the
                              table)
                         Oh, and he's a marine. So...

                                   REED
                             (Chuckles)
                         You not backing me up here?

                                   BLUE
                         Well... I'd rather not die in a
                         fight.

               The vibrating stops.

                                   REED
                         Okay then.

               Reed gets up and joins an ecstatic Blue.

                                   BLUE
                             (To Matt and Marty)
                         You guys are done.

               There is a lapse and around thirty empty cans of beer are
               littered here and there. In the final game there is only one
               cup left on each side. Reed has the shot but looks a little
               hammered.

                                   BLUE (CONT'D)
                             (Whispering)
                         Line it up slightly to the left.
                         Your drunk vision sees everything a
                         tad to the left. Trust me.

                                   REED
                         How sure are you?

                                   BLUE
                         Seventy-four percent.

               Reed shrugs and tosses the ball quickly. It rolls around the
               top of the cup and falls in. Reed and Blue jump in the air,
               celebrating.