FADE IN:

EXT. SOMEWHERE IN THE DESERT - FLASHBACK

YOUNG DUNCAN and YOUNG NASH sit quietly in the back of a
moving truck surrounded by all sorts of suitcases and
supplies. They look like they may have been in the sun a
little too long.

YOUNG DUNCAN
(Breathing hard)
I'm seeing shapes.

YOUNG NASH
I can smell sounds!

CUT TO:

INT. INSIDE THE TRUCK

With the air conditioner turned on high JESSICA GOLD fans
herself with a newspaper on the passenger's side while
ROBERT GOLD (James Woods) looks at a cactus suspiciously.

ROBERT
I heard the immigrants hide in the cacti.

JESSICA
The what?
(Sighs)
Where's this lake anyway?

ROBERT
I heard it was near trees. With leaves on
them.

JESSICA
We've been driving for 13 hours now, I
think we should stop. The kids probably
want to play with the cacti immigrants.

CUT TO:

INT. INSIDE DUNCAN'S CAR - PRESENT DAY

DUNCAN sits comfortably in the driver's seat while NASH
looks over a rather large fold out map.

DUNCAN (V.O.)
I have a feeling this road trip will work
out better. Even if I may end up in the
hospital just the same.

NASH
All I see are a lot of colored lines.

DUNCAN
I think those are roads.

NASH
I highly doubt that.

A loud yawn can be heard from the back of the car.

DUNCAN
What the hell was that?

FRIZZO rises from his slumber and sits upright. He
notices a old bag of Fritos lying on the floor and starts
eating them.

FRIZZO
What's up?

DUNCAN
What are you doing in here?

FRIZZO
(Shrugs)
I dunno.

DUNCAN
You realize this is my car, right?

FRIZZO
Finders keepers.

FRIZZO eats another stale chip.

FRIZZO (CONT'D)
Oh yeah! I remember why I got in here.

CUT TO:

EXT. OUTSIDE THE GOLD MINE - MORNING

FRIZZO is being chased by an old woman. She takes off her
shoe and begins to smack him with it for no apparent
reason.

CUT TO:

INT. INSIDE DUNCAN'S CAR

NASH laughs.

FRIZZO
She was fat though. And her wig looked
awful.

DUNCAN
Why would you say that to someone?

FRIZZO
Because it's true. Where are we going?

NASH
Seattle.

FRIZZO
Why would someone want to go to Seattle?

DUNCAN
That's where Ciara is.

FRIZZO
Nice.

FRIZZO pats NASH on the back.

DUNCAN
Actually I'm the one that she's
interested in.

FRIZZO
Oh. Well I don't really like you.

CUT TO:

INT. CONVIENIENCE STORE - LATER

FRIZZO and NASH have handfuls of junk food and are
standing in line as DUNCAN pumps gas outside.

FRIZZO
I don't have any money.

NASH
Yeah, neither do I.

CUT TO:

EXT. GAS STATION

DUNCAN is using his cell phone as he fills up his car's
tank.

DUNCAN
Yeah, this is Duncan. I'm going to be in
town, I was just wondering... if you
might like to, uh, hang out or something.
Call me back.

DUNCAN hangs up.

DUNCAN (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Sometimes it seems like you're a step too
slow for everything.

There is a loud commotion inside the store as food flies
in to the air. DUNCAN runs to the door where he sees
FRIZZO flopping around on the floor like he's having a
seizure. As this happens NASH slowly but surely sneaks
out the doors with food in hand.

NASH
(To DUNCAN)
Works every time.

DUNCAN (V.O.)
And sometimes it seems like instead of
talking to yourself you really need to
find new employees.

CUT TO:

INT. THE GOLD MINE

ANDREW and ASHLEY stand together behind the counter in
the store, no customers in view. ANDREW turns to ASHLEY,
looking confident.

ANDREW
I murdered God.

ASHLEY suddenly jumps ANDREW and the two embrace,
sloppily making out as a confused customer enters the
store.

CUT TO:

INT. FRANCHILLA'S OFFICE

FRANCHILLA has made a battleground on the floor using GI
Joe and Transformers figurines. He marches around them
with a Boat Captain Hat and a stick.

ANDREW and ASHLEY open the door to witness what is
happening. They all stare at each other in silence for a
good twenty seconds.

FRANCHILLA
Up for a three way?

ANDREW
I thought you'd never ask.

ASHLEY shuts the door.

CUT TO:

INT. INSIDE DUNCAN'S CAR

DUNCAN drives with NASH and FRIZZO asleep in the
backseat. They are cuddled up in a very odd sort of
manner. "Alone Jealous and Stoned" by The Secret Machines
plays softly on the radio.

ROBERT (JAMES WOODS) sits in the passenger seat.

ROBERT
Why are you doing this, son?

DUNCAN looks at the ghost of his father as if it's
perfectly natural that he's sitting there.

DUNCAN
Leave me alone.

ROBERT
You're letting my empire get ran into the
ground over some piece of tail.

DUNCAN
Fuck you and fuck your empire.

Can't have been too late As I was still warm

Fighting off heavy eyes

Still thinking you would call

ROBERT
I'm actually impressed. I always thought
Nash was the one with the balls. My plan
has worked.

DUNCAN
What plan was that?

ROBERT
The two of you are learning from each
other. You were cocky enough to think I
wanted you to wear off on him, it was
actually the opposite.

Echoing words, voices, thoughts

Remembering what you forgot

And I was just hanging out

ROBERT (CONT'D)
There are other jobs, but if she's the
one, fuck my empire.

DUNCAN
How stoned am I?

ROBERT
You're fucking wasted.

They both laugh.

DUNCAN
While your here, I want to ask you
something I was never able to ask.
(beat)
Are you proud of me?

ROBERT gently grips the back of DUNCAN's neck.

ROBERT
I'd be proud of you, even if you were
having sex with two underage teens in a
room surrounded by toys.

Sitting at home, what am I doing?

Boy waiting by the phone

Alone, jealous and stoned

DUNCAN turns to look at the road and ROBERT fades away.

A phone ring is heard. DUNCAN pulls his cell phone out of
his pocket. He reads the name on the callback. The camera
POV shows that it reads CIARA. DUNCAN answers.

We pull out to show the car driving down a lonely
highway. The Seattle skyline in the distance.

I waited for you

I always waited for you