"Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's a blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it.
Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
"Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
"Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power failure."
"A power............a power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
~ Abluthophobia- fear of bathing
~ Acousticophobia -- fear of noise
~ Acarophobia- fear of itching
~ Acerophobia- fear of sourness
~ Agyrophobia -- fear of crossing streets
~ Amathophobia, Koniophobia -- fear of dust
~ Anablephobia- Fear of looking up
~ Ancraophobia -- fear of wind
~ Androphobia -- fear of men
~ Anthophobia -- fear of flowers
~ Arachibutyrophobia -- a fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth
~ Arithmophobia- Fear of numbers
~ Asthenophobia -- fear of weakness
~ Autmysophobia -- fear or dislike of being dirty
~ Bathmophobia -- dislike or fear of walking
~ Batophobia -- fear of passing high buildings
~ Bromidrosiphobia -- fear of having unpleasant body odor
~ Cathisophobia -- fear or dislike of sitting down
~ Catoptrophobia -- fear of mirrors *HAHA SOME PEOPLE SHOULD BE*
~ Chaetophobia, Trichophobia -- fear of hair
~ Chrematophobia -- fear or dislike of wealth
~ Chrometophobia -- fear or dislike of money
~ Chromophobia -- fear of colors
~ Cibophobia -- fear of food
~ Crystallophobia -- fear of glass, crystals
~ Cymophobia -- fear of waves
~ Didaskaleinophobia- Fear of school
~ Dipsophobia -- fear of drinking
~ Emetophobia -- fear of vomiting
~ Geliophobia- Fear of laughter
~ Geumophobia -- fear of tastes or flavors
~ Gymnophobia, Nudophobia -- fear of nudity
~ Gynephobia, Gynophobia -- fear or hatred of women
~ Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words *HAHA THIS IS THE STUPIDEST PHOBIA, THE PERSON IS SCARED OF THEIR OWN PHOBIA*
~ Hedonophobia -- fear of pleasure
~ Homichlophobia -- fear of fog
~ Hypnophobia -- fear of sleep
~ Lachanophobia- Fear of vegetables
~ Laliophobia -- fear of talking
~ Leukophobia- Fear of the color white
~ Levophobia -- fear of objects on the left side of the body
~ Lunaphobia -- fear of the moon
~ Nephophobia -- fear of clouds
~ Ombrophobia -- fear of rain
~ Ommetaphobia -- fear of eyes
~ Peladophobia- Fear of bald people
~ Phenogophobia -- fear of daylight
~ Phobophobia -- fear of phobias *HAHA I LIKE THIS ONE*
~ Phonemophobia -- fear of thinking
~ Rectophobia -- fear of rectum
~ Rhabdophobia -- fear of being eaten
~ Sicophobia- fear of shadows
~ Scopophobia -- fear of being looked at *HAHA SOME PEOPLE SHOULD BE*
~ Teratophobia -- fear of monster or of giving birth to a monster
~ Xanthophobia -- fear of the color yellow or the word yellow