teignmouth

OK, this is something that has annoyed me for ages now. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY who lives outside Devon does not seem to know where Teignmouth is on a map of the UK. One person I know seemed to think it was around Suffolk way...I'm afraid not. Although we both share a keen interest for farms, I'm afraid Teignmouth does not lie in East Anglia. For everyone who is not familiar with the area surrounding the English Riviera, here is a map of where Teignmouth doth lie in the UK...

Teignmouth is a very quaint, picturesque town nestled in the bosom of Torbay, a bay (surprisingly enough) containing towns such as Dawlish, Newton Abbot, Babbacombe, Torquay and Dartmouth. It's quite a small place, although it does have its own railway station. For more photos of Teignmouth, see the photo page, accessed through the front page of this website. Myself, Simon and Gary have lived in Teignmouth for most, if not all, of our lives. Other than a railway station, Teignmouth also boasts a coach park, a variety of shops and numerous benches. Some pictures of benches are also on the photos link.

One of the most exciting things to do in Teignmouth, apart from kicking seagulls to death and frightening small children, is to visit one of the many pubs in the town. There are many, ranging from pre-club bars full of underdressed fifteen year olds to local pubs (for local people) full of filthy old men drinking Mackesons' and discussing greyhound racing. Something for everyone then. And then there's the benches...have a sit down, feel that warm wood beneath your bottom - ahhh, there's really nothing like sitting down on a really good, wooden bench. Except a wet one or one covered in bird shit.

OK so sitting on benches is not all there is to do in my hometown, but it helps pass the time. No, we DID have a cinema (until it closed down because no bugger would go there - I reckon it should be turned into a casino, but I'm not sure what the local planning council people would think...Simon works as a planning technician at the council though, so maybe he can put in a word?). We also have a theatre (The Carlton), which I have never been in, where amateur (I think) productions of plays some playwrite, well, writes are put on for the amusement of the local proles. I say "think" it's amateur, but whatever, this is certainly not the West End. My brother Rob went to see a production of "Peter Pan" there with my dad some years ago, and they left halfway through, it was that bad. Oh yes, we also have unlimited access to the sea, which I guess you kind of take for granted living next to it all the time. It's dead cold anyway, you wouldn't want to go swimming in it - freeze to death you would. What else does Teignmouth have over other seaside resorts? Well (and this is not a tourist issue) but the band Muse hail from this small place, yes, really. If you've never heard of them, you've probably been living in the country for too long.

Yes, that's the bunch on the left. Anyway, as I mentioned there are countless shops selling things of varying worth from chewing gum to houses, masking tape to more houses. You can also buy some of the following in Teignmouth: chips, newspapers, selected books, records (well, perhaps not), sponges, postcards, ice cream, tomato ketchup, even more houses (people love living here and are constantly selling their houses), sand (well, you can't buy it but it's available in bucketfulls) and...soft drinks. Yes, all the above are available in the many retail outlets Teignmouth provides. We even have running water and electricity. Amazing stuff. Still, that's kind of expected in most parts of Britain nowadays. For the happy go lucky good time people, there is ONE (that's ONE) club in Teignmouth to fight outside and be sick in. I've never been, mainly because of the naff name ("Hot Bananas"), but my mate Matt works there who is a security guard and poses as occasional doorman from time to time. Anyway, click the 'next' button below for more amazing things...