kilroyfantasy

Last year, Kilroy was a staple part of my morning viewing. Full of topical debates and discussions, it was a far cry from the lairy booty whooping madness of Jerry Springer and dull housewife viewing of Trisha, Esther and those ones on Sky One. But I couldn't help wondering what the future may hold for Kilroy, I mean, time moves on and Kilroy must be ready to defend its market position as intellectual discussion programme. So here are a few ideas of discussions that could be scheduled over a year...(that's providing that they are only scheduled twice a week, I couldn't think of 260 odd programme titles.

13 January - Illegal fight clubs: Are you an organiser or member?
14 January - Sexual realignment: Have you had a sex change? Did it go well?
20 January - Sex crime victims: Getting your own back on the bastards.
21 January - Parents as prostitutes: Have you no shame?
27 January - Necrophilia: For and against.
28 January - Kilroy's sex life: In graphic detail.
3 February - Extreme bass vibrations: Effects on normal people's eardrums.
4 February - Men and monkeys: Which are more intelligent?
10 February - Zombies: Are they shit?
11 February - Sheep shagging: The realities and limitations.
17 February - Harcore pornography: The legalisation debate.
18 February - Britney Spears' sexual fantasies: Lingering discussion.
24 February - Mobile phones: Scurge of the twentieth century?
25 February - Marajuana: Clearing up confusion on the new laws.
3 March - Pimping: A profitable business?
4 March - Children caught masturbating: Has it broken up your family?
10 March - Knicker fetishes: What's the big attraction?
11 March - Deadly viruses: A right old barrel of shit? Or useful research aid?
17 March - Real life vampires: Fact or fiction?
18 March - Low sperm counts: Kilroy looks at the reasons.
24 March - Limited sex: Examing different positions for intercourse.
25 March - Emetophilia: Is vomit arousing?
31 March - Lots of ladies in revealing underwear: Do we need a reason?
1 April - Inferior contraceptives: Has a johnny split on you? Need to get it off your chest?
7 April - Bondage: Is it dangerous?
8 April - Persistent stains: Grass versus red wine.
14 April - Spam javelins: How long is average?
15 April - Beyond infinity: Will we get there one day? And is the film '2001' an accurate portrayal?
21 April - Keys: There's so many different types!
22 April - Mail order brides: The pros and cons. Does it lead to a fufilling relationship?
28 April - Women with huge knockers: How it affects their lives.
29 April - Date rape: How to avoid it.
5 May - Rubber clothing: Comfort versus arousal.
6 May - I'm a freak: Do your friends shun you? Do you get refused entry to nightclubs?
12 May - Eating babies: They do it in Asia.
13 May - Parents at five: How did a five year old girl conceive children? Gawping debate.
19 May - Penis transplants: The good, the bad and the ugly.
20 May - Fake dentists: The horror and the misery of sensitive teeth.
26 May - Female contraception: Do men know how it works?
27 May - I'm a neo Nazi: How the movement looks today.
2 June - Lemons make me glow: And other strange reasons for female orgasm.
3 June - Huge cudgels: How weapons of mass destruction looked in the Middle Ages.
9 June - Schoolgirls: Sexy or promoting paedophilia?
10 June - Am I a lesbian?: With practical demonstrations.
16 June - Women with even bigger knockers than the programme on 28th April.
17 June - The art of flicking off: Female masturbatory techniques discussed.
23 June - Petty crime: Hanging or rap on the knuckles?
24 June - Nuclear weaponry: Do we really need them?
30 June - Wet cats: Debate on the smell of damp felines.
1 July - Pubic hair shaving habits: Landing strips or hair triangle?
7 July - Jealously: Have you ever murdered someone in cold rage for sleeping with your wife?
8 July - Sex after miscarriage: Is it all gungy?
14 July - Dead people: Do they have a place in society rather than six feet under it?
15 July - Hallucinations: This week, under the influence of alcohol.
21 July - Boiled eggs: Cracking techniques to improve your social status at the breakfast table.
22 July - Is swallowing really so bad?: Women moan about how it's so awful.
28 July - Pissed up injuries: Drunken sprains, twists and lacerations discussed.
29 July - Natural born killers: Are some people just born to do it?
4 August - Come to Worthing: Discussion on the tourist provision offered in Worthing, West Sussex.
5 August - I was tortured: War veterans compare torture methods endured in WW2.
11 August - Strange cans: Ever found a can of food missing a label?
12 August - Home made flamethrowers: With practical demonstrations.
18 August - I'm afraid of bananas: In depth psychological analysis of the bizarre phoebia.
19 August - Milk: What makes it white?
26 August - What I did on 9th October 1994. Studio audience recollections from battered diaries.
27 August - If I was a fish I'd be in trouble: And other hypothetical situations.
1 September - I sleep with members of my own family. Have you ever enjoyed it?
2 September - Giraffes turn me on: How the long necked animals arouse preverts.