25-31march

THIS WEEK: CENSORSHIP IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY

Right, now then. Unless you've been living in a cave somewhere in Afghanistan for the last few months (hang on, sounds like someone who was in the news not long back...) you will have listened to the radio, or maybe a CD or two. My gripe this week is one that nearly everyone except the very sensitive will agree with me on. And that is bleeping out swearwords in songs. OK, so it doesn't happen too much on CDs, music companies have realised that some people might want to listen to their favourite bands' music INTACT and without all the silly bleeps or blank spaces inserted over the bad language. Where the censorship demon really comes into his realm is on radio. How many times have I listened to a song and clenched my fists in rage when this half hearted attempt at concealing foul language from the nation's youngsters comes into use. I mean, it's not as if we don't know the words being used, is it? Most of the time you can guess the damn words anyway. One of the first times I came across censorship on music was around 1995/96 when Smokie re-released their hit "Living Next Door To Alice" in collaboration with Roy Chubby Brown, foul Northern bloke but extremely funny one that he is. I believe that song was released in six different versions. One of the best examples that censoring music doesn't work was on this single, where a live version was being played, but with BLEEPS covering the band in the chorus! It doesn't stop there though, oh no...get this, the crowd were singing the 'fucks' in the chorus, and there was the band desperately trying to cover it up with bleeps for God's sake. I realise that censorship is done for the protection of small children, but be honest. It doesn't work does it? Kids know all the swearwords by the time they are nine anyway, they get it from school friends and websites like this one.

To the left are some of the artists, who, if it were not for censorship, might actually have decent versions of songs played on the radio. Afroman's new single, entitled "Crazy Rap" sort of got round this problem by inserting comedy sound effects such as coughing and Star Trek style science fiction wibbly noises. Still though, this is not excusable. I have nothing against the artists themselves, they are the innocent victim's of radio station paranoia that they may be accused of instigating a mass swearing revolution by the nation's youth. Not going to happen I'm afraid - just like playing computer games involving death won't make this a country of mass murderers, neither shall swearing

on the radio turn this country into a nation of mass swearers. Another thing that Simon pointed out to me when he rang me today was that some artists are allowed to get away with borderline words such as "ass". Pink is one example who did not escape the censor's wrath, whereas a recent rap song I heard on radio (artist name would be appreciated) who was allowed to sing something like "my bitches getting high on ecstacy". Shocking...And if you listen to that George Michael song "Outside", I believe he sings something like "keep on fucking" near the end. And my mum listens to his stuff! I think there needs to be a shakeup of censorship laws on radio - i.e. scrap them. A final point to end on, and that is regarding subliminal messages in songs. I think some pop artists are regarded as ultra-squeaky clean (the example coming up is Emma Bunton) who are the ones least expected to sneak the odd dirty word into their songs. Not so. Listen to the Emma Bunton song "What Took You So Long", and listen to the chorus. If you listen carefully, I'm sure (and my housemate Dafydd will back me up here) that she plainly sings "suck you all night". Disgusting. That's it for this week, I'm writing this up the Student Union and I have to go because it really is a grim place...it's bumming me out. Anyway, university is the subject of next week's rant, so I'm going to go off and write that now. Until next week, don't do anything I wouldn't do!