So the next Sunday, the priest took the monsignors advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm! Upon return to his office, he found the following note on his door.
1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12
3) There are 12 desciples, not 10
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated
5)Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not 'bet his ass'
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late JC
7) David slew goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him
8) The father, son, and holy ghost are not reffered to as daddy, junior and the spook
9) When david was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, do not say he was 'stoned off his ass'
10) We do not refer to the cross as the big T!
11) When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said "Take this and eat it, for it is my body" he did not say "Eat me"
12) The virgin mary is not referred to as 'mary with the cherry'
13) The recomended grace before a meal is not 'rub-a-dub-dub thanks, for the grub, yeah god' and finally...
14) Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at st peters, not a peter pulling contest a st taffys!