Joey

Gokturk Expos 9

Pirates

\What is a pirate?  Do you have to have a long beard, an eye patch, a parrot and a peg leg?  Hell no.  These days you can find pirates everywhere, and they seem to have pretty good disguises.  All a pirate is by definition is someone who preys on others, so doesn’t that encompass most everyone?  Your haircutter, teachers, and even your trusted housecleaner; everyone is a pirate.  There are certain obvious ones such as IRS employees and your boss, but everyone in this world has committed an act of piracy in their lifetime.  The problem with the word pirate is that it is so broad.  There should be many branches or even forms of the word pirate to fulfill all its needs in society today.

Pirates, pirates, everywhere, it could even be the guy who cuts your hair.  Yes that’s right; your barber is probably a pirate.  When that man or woman is holding those scissors, they have all the power in the world, which many times they abuse.  Have you ever left with a bad haircut?  Of course you have, and you can’t do anything about it.  The damage has been done, and that fiendish little man playing with the buzzer and the rubbing alcohol gets all the laughs as you walk out shaking your ugly little head.  These are the types of people that should be referred to as opportunistic pirates.  They see a good chance to really bring someone down and they snatch it.  Usually these are good people with good intentions, but they lack the moral judgment to not commit this horrible act of piracy when they see fit.

Another type of pirate would be referred to as a methodic pirate.  These people have a scheme going all along while you are none the wiser.  The most common ploy used is that of the everyday housecleaner.  You find a nice little woman who knows very little English, but is willing to clean your house for a seemingly irrefutable price.  Little do you know she has a few tricks up her sleeve.  You are gone at work all day, and you have left all your personal and worldly possessions in the hands of this devious little maid.  She decides to regard your house as a shopping mall, and takes whatever she pleases.  She has her bundle of pirate’s booty, and she is on her way back home.  All you can do is accuse her of her crimes while she stands there pretending to not know what you are saying.  “No Englesh.” She says.  That is the end of that.  This little defenseless woman has robbed you of your possessions and your dignity, and that is why she is none other than a dirty pirate.

Last but not least, the most feared pirates of all are the pirates of the education world.  They are commonly referred to as teachers.  No other pirate to date has inflicted so much pain and suffering in the lives of the common people.  From endless homework assignments to useless and mundane papers such as this one, there is no end to their atrocities.  For almost 10 months out of the year they prey on the lives of the most defenseless population of all, kids.  Children have no rights, so teachers find it quite easy and amusing to perform their evil deeds in this demographic sector of society.  Kids can not argue, protest, or defend themselves in any way, and if they do so it is under penalty of tank, detention, or suspension.  Teachers are the most maniacal, yet least recognized pirates of the modern day.        

There are pirates everywhere.  They clean your house, cut your hair, and even “teach” your children.  They are embedded into every aspect of society today.  Why you ask is there such a big pirate problem?  There is a pirate problem because everyone commits acts of piracy in their lives.  All the word means is to prey on others, which is something every single one of us does almost every day.  We are all pirates, and yet we also must beware of the other pirates in the world that come in all shapes and sizes.