Things to Ponder while in Band:
1) Can a Tuba rust if soaked in water but then taken out?
2) What happened to that Dolphin on the lights and how did it get down?
3) Why does Roselieb always look like he's on crack?
4) Where did the card go?
5) Why is the Low Brass so odd?
Color Guard Point System (X2 if you knock them down):
Other Flag: 0
Flute: 10
Clarinet: 10
Saxophone: 15
Trumpet: 20
Trombone: 25
Baritone: 35
Sousaphone: 50
Drumline: 55
Drum Major: 65
Band Director: laugh, then Run!!!!!
� Concert Band Personnel Standards:
Conductor:
Leaps tall buildings in a single boun
Is more powerful than a locomotive
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Gives policy to god
� French Horn:
Leaps short buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Walks on water if the sea is calm
Talks with god
Tuba:
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
Is almost as fast as a speeding bullet
Walks on water on an indoor swimming pool
Talks with god if special request is approved
Bassoon:
Barely clears a tool shed
Loses a tug-of-war with a locomotive
Can fire a speeding bullet
Swims well
Is occasionally addressed by god
Trumpeter:
Makes mark high on a wall when trying to clear short buildings
Gets run over by locomotives
Can sometimes handle a gun without injuring self
Dog-paddles
Has interesting conversations with animals
Trombonist:
Runs into buildings
Recognizes locomotives two times out of three
>br>
Is not issued ammunition
Can stay afloat with a life jacket
Talks to walls, argues with self
Drummer:
Falls over self trying to climb into bed
Says, "Look, a cha-cha"
Doesn't even get a water pistol
Plays in mud puddles
Loses arguments with self
Euphonium:
Lifts tall buildings and walks under them
Kicks locomotives off tracks for fun
Catches speeding bullets in teeth and eats them
Freezes water with a single glance
Is god (hahahaha!)
