Seriously, enough.

The Pine Oaks movie night is a disaster.  Maybe not a Hindenburg, earthquake, "Ghost Rider starring Nicolas Cage"-type disaster, but a disaster nonetheless.  My problems with it are two-fold.

Fold the first: it's cold outside.  I know that's not news, but tonight it's supposed to snow and probably keep snowing for two days.  And yet, where is this month's movie night scheduled?  Outside, at the community pool.  Just like last month when my pipes froze, just like every month.  Can we not move it inside?  Is there some kind of rental fee involved?  What about the library?  More kids show up for Story Time Tuesdays than people do for the movie, and Story Time Sandy is a recovering OxyContin addict.  So we know they have the space for it.  Let's make this happen.  Just as long as...

No more Whoopi Goldberg movies.  Is this some kind of joke?  Is it Whoopi Goldberg Appreciation Year?  Every month for the last seven it's been some kind of Whoopi Goldberg movie.  I mean, "Eddie?"  "Ghost?"  "Jumping Jack Flash?"  What's next, "Corrina, Corrina?"  Oh, can we watch "Boys on the Side?"  Or "Star Trek: Nemesis?"  Please?  (Actually, ST:N would be pretty cool, as long as they mute the Whoopi scenes.)

Or maybe whoever picks these awful movies is just working her way through the old Comic Relief gang.  I can see it now, a double bill with "Toys" and "My Giant."  Deplorable.

I'm willing to circulate a petition around the neighborhood to introduce some variety into movie night.  Like "Mystic Pizza," or Kenneth Branagh's  "Henry V."  I like Kenneth Branagh.  He was great in "Ghostbusters."  So who's with me?

Fred Muldoon, town webmaster