Greetings, filthy mortal!
I have taken over the webspace of Pincer Pincey. As you know, he is far more than a mere lobster. His claw is the heftiest of all lands and he is prophesized to become the peerless lobster of science who threatens the Space Queen Federation's conviction to conquer all of space. He is also the star of his own book series *coughCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHWOWIT'S BEENNUFFTIMEWHERE'SBOOK2COUGH*. With a determined flick of my alien cephalopod arm he has been tossed mercilessly into the Web of Lies to await his processing and assessment. If he proves useful and cooperative he shall live. If he does not, I am afraid his days are NUMBERED!!! MEDDLE NOT, FRIEND OF PINCEY!!! There are those who have crossed me and tasted the death knell of my crimson kiss. They are not alive to tell the tale. Let this be a fair warning, stranger.


Aaayye.... I'm feeling sorry for you. In the spirit of the birth of Jesus I offer you a ransom: identify this beast and Pincey will be set free. This creature was spotted in your galaxy and we would like to hire her/him for her/his services (we have been struggling to find a suitable candidate for the position of Chief Executive Cheese Selector for our Milky Way SQF District Office). We offer generous compensation and employee benefits and of course, free space travel (many call it a "perk of the job"). So, you know. Let us know. And Merry Christmas, whatever that's all about. I wrote a poem about that once.