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Here is a paper I did in school several years ago as a freshman.
MY RESISTANCE TO MORMONISM
I was twelve years old. It had been on my mind for a long time. I had gone over all the
possible responses so I could easily make a logical argument for my case. I stared out into space
for a few minutes. Then, when I finally got up the nerve I walked out of my room and down the
hall to the living room where my mother was. I went right up to her and began to tell her what
was on my mind. She stared at me blankly, but listening. I told her I wasn�t going to church that
day and in fact I was not going to church ever again! I braced myself for a harsh response but
none came. Instead she told me that since God had given me free agency and that was what I
decided that she would allow me to make that choice. Surprised, I turned around and walked
back to my room and laid down on my bed.
In this paper I will explain why I rejected religion at an early age. I will use information
specific examples to show cause and effect. The paper will be broken up into 4 parts. In part 1 I
will give my personal viewpoint on the Mormon culture in general. Part 2 will show that
Mormon culture dominated and still dominates Salt Lake City where I grew up. I will explain
the process of my rejection of the church in part 3. And finally, in part 4 I will I sum up my
current beliefs and explain how they were partially shaped by my experiences in the Mormon
culture. Throughout the essay I will use examples of my experiences to support my opinions.
The purpose of this paper is not to be insulting and I will try to be objective, but this is my
personal viewpoint based on my unique set of experiences.
THE MORMON CULTURE IN SALT LAKE
I have many fond memories from early on about my experiences within the culture.
When I was very young church wasn�t much more than a source of friends for me. The church
itself seemed to encourage social interaction among its members and we often got together to
play sports and have cookouts.
Some in particular were very kind to me. One of my happiest memories is of when I was
5 years old or so. I can remember playing catch with one of the young men from the ward. He
even gave me a mitt on the condition I would come back and play catch with him again.
There was another young man who I held in high esteem. He and his wife were good
friends with my parents and they would often baby-sit my sister and I. He would let me play on
his computer and I learned a lot. He was a little confusing however. He was a kind and gentle
natured person but he had a huge gun collection.
There were others who had a positive influence on me. Young couples without kids in
particular would try and bond with me. Teachers in church would encourage and compliment
me. The older I got the more this type of interaction lessened until finally my good memories of
the social aspect of Mormonism cease entirely.
Being LDS dominates my life. There was a way I was supposed to act and think. A way
I was supposed to dress and a type I was supposed to associate with. I was told to fill this mold
and when I found I couldn�t possibly do so, I became very phony. I acted very much like a good
little Mormon boy, but inside I was thinking how ridiculous it was to be something I�m not. I
couldn�t help but feel like other people were being phony as well. And as I grew up this concern
gathered evidence.
In second grade I became part of a large group of kids who would hang out and do things
that good little Mormon kids weren�t supposed to do. We got into fights, swore, and even tried
out smoking a few times. These kids were all LDS and behaved well around authority just like
me. Eventually I developed the opinion that almost no one was sincere within the church. I
started to notice many of the adults would also act much differently around authority. If they
used their good behavior around certain people than they must have bad behavior as well. Like
the duality of a good natured person with guns.
There was another aspect of Mormon culture that I found particularly distasteful and still
do, the �holier than thou� attitude. This is when a person forms the opinion of themselves that
they and the members of their clique are somehow better than you and they can do no wrong. I
have seen this repeatedly throughout my life. Interestingly, it seems to be more common with
the wealthier members and in fact I think it is just an aspect of the attitude that people
sometimes get toward those in a less advantageous financial situation. But then maybe a church
who has based itself on a mysterious gold book and has erected a huge gold phallic
symbol(Moroni with his trumpet) on top of another huge phallic symbol(Salt Lake Temple) can�t
help but influence its members in this way.
One final point about the culture that I have varying attitude toward is the emphasis on
genealogy. In my personal experience this has been a good thing. But it didn�t come without a
price. My mother has her side of the family traced back to the 12th century in some lines and
my fathers to the 17th. It is really a neat feeling to know about some of the people I have
descended from. At times I have taken their various aspects and somehow rationalized to myself
that the feelings I have come from them. In this sense it has helped me to not feel so different
from those in my immediate family and even those I grew up with. But it has also generated a
false pride at times that almost led me to a very racist perspective in the ignorance of my youth.
MORMONS ARE THE DOMINANT CULTURE IN SALT LAKE
It is obvious to anyone who has been to Salt Lake that we are dominated by Mormon
culture. When I look around this city I can see any number of LDS landmarks. There is the This
Is The Place Monument, Temple Square, and The Church Office Building. You can�t go more
than a few blocks in most areas without seeing the local ward. There�s even a yearly worldwide
broadcast of General Conference from Temple Square reinforcing the idea that �this is the
place.� I could go on and on.
Even in school you learn about Mormons. They pioneered and settled the area in 1847.
They walked here with handcarts from Missouri. That is an impressive feat and worth noting.
There is even a parade every year commemorating the event. But to a Mormon a family this is
more than a commemoration of historical events, it is a celebration of heritage. Unfortunately,
many of my teachers were also LDS, so their bias led them to emphasize this event and others
like it from our history.
Everything was closed on Sunday and it seems like only recently are their things to do on
the Sabbath besides church. Even the shops whose owners weren�t LDS couldn�t stay open
because most of their customers were LDS.
Of course in an area where most of the population is from one culture many of the
political leaders will also be of that culture. This combined with the voting population being of
that culture as well has led, in my belief, to many biased laws. A recent example was the closing
of a strip club in Provo. There were no previous regulations prohibiting this type of
establishment, so they made one.
In general my point is that as I grew up, and even now, I have had the culture shoved
down my throat. After a while you�ll either get used to the taste or you�ll gag. I gagged!
REJECTION
When I reflect back on the things I was thinking at that time I realise that I was starting to
reject faith for logic. Everything was becoming a mathematical equation to me. I started to
question the validity of the religion itself because it didn�t add up to me. How could I accept this
type of faith based on the culture it produces. There seemed to be so many problems,
inconsistencies. And no one wanted to address these issues.
It got boring to me after a while. The repetition of church. They told me the same things
every week, doctrine and what is �right�. I started asking questions like: What came before God?
And before that? If God loves me so much, why does he allow bad things to happen? Why is
God a �he�? How can I know in my heart that this is all true? The usual answer to questions like
these was something like �its God�s will� or �God works in mysterious ways�. What kind of an
answer is this? They were saying that their answer was that there is no answer and that you just
have to have faith.
My mom was the only one who ever ventured an answer to my question about what
comes before God. She told me that she personally believed that God was once corporeal like us
and that he had his own God. She also told me that we all had the potential of being Gods
ourselves and so on. This satisfied me temporarily until I realized that I could now easily ask the
question: What came before this system of Gods? And before that? The whole philosophy of
eternity was getting weak to me. That scared me very much.
Since people weren�t answering my questions I decided to try and find the answers
myself. I began reading scriptures and philosophy books from various viewpoints and forming
my own theories. I brought these up at times in Sunday school much to my teachers dismay. It
seemed that questioning the authority of the church was as much a taboo as questioning God
and a real surprise coming from a kid.
When I turned twelve an unfortunate thing happened. I started feeling like I was the only
one questioning authority. I started junior high and even the kids who hung out with me when I
was younger started acting phony and holier than thou. Eventually they didn�t even hang out
with me anymore. I began to feel guilty. Sometimes I felt evil or bad because I was thinking
differently than everyone else. Then I realized that I had felt guilty for a long time. I realized
that guilt was a part of the religion. After that I had finally just had enough.
I started asking purposefully ridiculously obnoxious, almost sacrilegious questions to
authorities. Things like: If God is infinite or if there is even such a thing as infinity the way we
think of it than hasn�t God existed as a peanut an infinite number of times?! Haven�t I been God
before? Isn�t Satan God?
As I said, these were completely ridiculous questions and rhetorical in nature. It was a
last ditch effort by me to express to them the rapid loss of faith I was experiencing. The lack of
logical validity their ideas evoked. They totally misinterpreted my intention and I can�t say that
surprises me with the way I went about it. But all that mattered to me at the time is that they still
failed to understand. So after intense self analysis for months, I finally told my mother I wasn�t
going to church anymore. And in fact what I was saying was that I wasn�t going to be a Mormon
anymore because they didn�t have any answers, I was faking it, and I certainly didn�t fit in there.
CONCLUSION
Rejecting my parents� religion was the single most important act of my life and set a
precedent for me. The whole process in fact was rewarding because as I gradually peeled away
the layers of what people told me I was to find myself I was transformed into a more malleable
substance. I have become a very eclectic individual and I am not afraid to explore my own ideas
as well. I have come to the realization about myself that I am a spiritual rather than religious
being. I have often reflected on what my life might have been like if I had thought differently
about religion, but for me I can�t help but conclude that I am lucky to have had the one I�ve had
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