Harold, The Princess, and the Pig.
by: Panno-Chan

    Once upon a time....
    There lived a beautiful princess. And she lived.... on a farm. A ROYAL farm. And they had lots of animals... including cows of course.
    And so one day, the princess was walking in a field of her royal farm. Until suddenly, there was a hole in the ground...! For some unknown reason o.o;

Because.... the pig was digging in the yard again�yes, that's why!
Yes... it was a naughty pig and very much shamed on. But, that's a different story of course.^.^;

    Anyway, the princess fell into this hole in the ground dug by the pig! And... she was stuck! Cos it was a MAGICAL hole, that the pig dug. And she was... trapped there. So she yelled for help. And coincidentally! The Knight in Shining Armor heard her cries and rushed to help her out of the magical hole the pig dug in the field. "Princess!" he said. Um, bravely. And she looked up and said, "Help me, Knight in Shining Armo�"his name was... uh... Harold! "�Armor!" And he said, "Okay!"
    But when he tried to help her, he couldn't get through the magical barrier! Because... it was a magical pig. So he had to slay the magical pig to dispel the barrier. And so the Knight in Shining Armor set off to the Royal Barn to slay the pig. And the pig was there. Um. Yes. And the knight, Harold, said, "Please dispel the barrier you have cast upon the hole in the field!" And the p�yes? Oh! And Harold said, "Please dispel the thingy!" And the pig said, "Only if you answer three questions for me." And Harold... being not the sharpest tack on the bulletin board, said, "Uh, okay." So the pig cackled and contemplated its first question.

"What's your favorite color?"
    Harold stared confusedly.
    And then he got angry, and said, "Why does it matter? I need to save the princess!"
The pig snorted, and said, "Answer the God damn question!"
    And Harold gulped scaredly and said, "Um... orange?"
The pig said, "Wrong answer. Next question."

    Harold looked scared for a second, then he remembered he was a Knight in Shining Armor, and looked confident again.

"How old is your cat?"
    Harold blinked. "I...um. I don't have a cat."
And the pig said.......... "............Uh. Answer the question!"
    Harold decided that, before he got another one wrong, he should guess the most logical number he could think of...

"......Seventeen thousand, two hundred and fifty three."
The pig said "o_o"
".....No, I'm afraid that's not right either. Two wrong, one to go. If you miss this one, you'll have to fight me to free the princess."

    Ah, that shouldn't be hard, thought Harold. After all, it's just a pig.

"What's my name?"
    Harold stared. "Um. George?"
The pig sighed in exasperation. "No, you dummy! I don't have a name, I'm a pig, for God's sake!"

"So you must now face me in a duel!"

    The pig glowed orange and grew to ten times the size of the barn, turning into a great and mighty dragon.
The cows all ran away.
    And from the enchanted hold in the ground, the Princess watched in horror. "He's not going to be able to beat that!"
    But, Harold, being stupid and na�ve, drew his great sword and fought at the dragon. And, with the swipe of a huge claw, the dragon took Harold down. The princess cried in misery as the unconscious Harold toppled to the ground.
    But then, all of a sudden, a league of cows launched themselves at the dragon.
Unprepared, the dragon was killed.
    The enchanted hole in the ground became un-enchanted with the dragon's death, and the princess climbed out of it, and rushed over to the fallen Knight in Shining Armor.
    She kicked him. "Dumbass! You almost didn't save me! In fact, you didn't save me! You let the royal cattle do it!!"
The Knight in Shining Armor said "@.@;;"
    The princess looked angry. "What do you have to say for yourself?"
The cows gathered around to see how brutally the princess would kill this one.
    Harold got up and smiled brightly, all damage from the preceding battle seemingly vanished.
    And then..... he burst into song.
   The princess stared at him like he was totally insane.

Which, uh, he was.

   Shortly thereafter, they were married, and lived happily ever after.

n.n The end.