Cows, Chaos, Chris and Fire
by: Hani-Chan, Panno-Chan, and Sin.

There once was a cow.
This cow was not an ordinary cow.
It was a FIRE BREATHING cow.
And this Fire-breathing cow had an abhorrence for men, small children and boys named ... Jonny. or Chris. whatever.
This cow was part of a club.
This club was designed to raise awareness and to prevent terrible things from happening to innocent and na�ve girls all across the country.
One day, the cow was going to this club.
When she met a boy walking down the street... a boy named Chris.
Immediately, the past meetings and lessons from the club came rushing to mind, and the cow cried out "JUST SAY NO!"
The boy, obviously daft, was startled at the cows reaction and assumed she needed counseling--also called dissection-- that only HE could provide.
So, the boy cornered the cow - who's name happened to be, coincidentally, Cow - and began to attack Cow with questions about her childhood, her parents, her brother, and her addiction to... grass.
Terrified, Cow burst into tears, which the boy naturally thought were due to all the trauma in her tortured past.
The rather stupid boy decided to question further, so as to "repair" this, and decided that Cow was mentally unstable, and needed his help for the rest of his miserable existence.
which would be roughly three days if he didn't smarten up.
So he whisked her away to a nice, quiet place, where he slowly convinced Cow that she really DID have a problem; and that he was the only one capable of providing help.
Poor Cow thought that she could rely on the boy and that she'd always be able to talk to him, because he promised her endlessly that he cared and would do anything to make her feel better.
However, Cow did not know how endlessly stupid and pointless this boy was.
Cow was fully reliant on the boy; when one day, the boy met a little, more-adorable-than-cow bunny, hopping down the street.
The boy started spending less and less time with Cow, and started blowing her off a lot more, though he still promised he cared.
But alas, one depressed day Cow called the boy only to discover he was out with Bunny, as he was most days, and this caused her snout to send little puffs of smoke and licks of flames, which, TOTALLY accidentally caught on the bed.
Which happened to catch on to the drapes...
And, coincidentally, the entire rest of the house.
Cow escaped unscathed. Well, almost. Her tail kinda caught. But that was it.

That's when she decided to get... REVENGE! *Dramatic chord*

And so, Cow plotted, and hid in the bushes, waiting for the boy and bunny to pass, as they usually did, laughing and holding hands and just looking sickeningly happy.
And when they did, Cow sprung out daringly from her hiding place, ACCIDENTLY flattening the boy into tofu.
And Bunny... for good measure.
Triumphantly, Cow began to laugh maniacally, for she had exacted her revenge and (literally) crushed the boy...even though the initial desire was only to crush him emotionally, but ah, this was just as pleasing to watch.
Cow, overjoyed with the painful erm...injury of Chris, but even quicker to exact a mental revenge, followed him for a while, leaving a bunny pelt here and there to remind him of his loss.
Three fruits walked by the flattened-into-tofu boy; three fruits named Oranges, Blueberries, and Kuri (well; the third isn't exactly a fruit - but gets to be an honorary fruit for this story) they took a bite out of the tofu-boy; gaining acid indigestion. The moral of this story..?

JUST SAY NO!