ladyk_ladyu1

You know the drill. I don't own Gundam Wing, as much as I wish I did.
(DAMN THE LAWYERS!! DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL!!!!)

Heero: aaaah!!!! It's unspeakably horrible.

Duo: This is hell.

Trowa: please shoot me. Immediately.

Quatre: me first, I beg you!

WuFei: this is a horrible, unspeakable, INJUSTICE!!!!

Duo: but seriously folks, this is REALLY sadistical and evil, even more
so than Oz, the alliance, Relena, and the white fang combined.

Relena and all the ozzies: hey!!!

Treize: so what is this unspeakable horror, anyway?

Heero: Aaaaah! It's too horrible!! *looses all composure and goes into
seizures*

WuFei: Stupid WEAK omniscent author is actually trying to write something
SERIOUS. Did I mention she's a woman.

*Everyone else's eyes widen*

Relena: well, lets be optimistic, maybe she won't KILL me this time, like
she does in all her OTHER fics.

I don't see why you guys are so worried, it's mostly about ozzies anyway,
and I'm sure I could work Relena's death in *SOMEWHERE*.

*The Gundam pilots breathe a sigh of relief as Treize, Zechs, Noin, Lady Une
and Relena run in the opposite direction.*

You can run but you can't hide, I'm the omniscent author...MUAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

...:>begin weak attempt at serious fic<:...

"So tell me again why we've been following these street punks around all
week?" The OZ soldier asked his comrade as he passed him a bag of potato
chips.
"I've already told you, Lt. Smith, they've found that the runaways and
war orphans and such tend to do well in the military."
"Because they learn strategy on the streets. figures." He commented as they
looked into the desolate alleyway, dimly lit by the faint glow of orange
streetlights. A small knot of kids was assembling for what looked like the
beginnings of another gang fight. A girl about 13, with long brown hair
flipped open a switchblade at precisely the same moment as her opponent,
a boy, maybe a little older. The two soldiers looked on, studying their
every move from a window of an abandoned warehouse.
"Haven't we seen these two before?" Smith asked.
"Mmm. She was the one from last night's fight, the one that won."
"I remember. She was within inches of slitting his throat. She'd be perfect."
The two kids were surrounded by members of their respective gangs,
who were egging on their leaders. The two at the center had their knives in
ready position and were circling, sizing each other up.
"You put my brother in the fucking ER, you bitch! How the fuck do you expect
us to pay for that, he coulda fucking died, I'm gonna fuckin' kill you bitch!"
The boy yelled at his opponent.
" He deserved every injury he got, as well. He should have known better than
to toy with me OR my crew, as should you." She retorted cooly just before she
pounced on him. After a short struggle he had her pinned to the asphalt.
"I been on the streets since before you were fucking born, you sick whore."
He spat at her face. She waited until the precise moment and kicked him sharply
in the groin, knocking him off her. He was on his feet agiain momentarily and
just as he moved to stab her, she took a quick slash at his outstreched arm,
taking half the skin off as he withdrew. As he looked at his bleeding arm in
shock, she tackled him to the ground and had her blade at his throat in an instant.
"I really don't want to kill you but I will if I have to." She tightened every
muscle in her body and moved the knife closer to his carotid artery.
"If you and your bunch of crack head bastards don�t get your sorry asses out of
MY neighborhood, no, OUR neighborhood, consider your entire gang a pile of corpses."
Half the kids in the motley circle started whooping and cheering as the others
backed out of the light.
A cry rang out from the other side of the ring. "Billy, I smell bacon!
The cops is comin' RUN FOR IT!" And just as soon as he shut his mouth they all
heard the siren. The other cheering street gang bolted and the girl sprang up
off her defeated opponent and slipped her knife back into her boot. The boy clenched
his wounded arm and ran in the opposite direction. "You�re a motherfucking crack bitch,
you know what you're the fucking bitch from hell!" he yelled over his shoulder.
"You're damn right I�m the bitch from hell." she yelled back as she ran.
The two soldiers glanced at each other. "You think we should follow her?
"Of course. Put the fritos away and get your ass a'moving. She�s just what Oz needs."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The girl continued running in under the dim orange glow from the streetlights.
She figured she'd hide out at a rave for a while before heading back to the decrepid,
abandoned basement where she and her gang of about 10 kids were squatting. She was
proud of herself. In the four years she'd been living on the streets she'd become a
neighborhood legend. Aside from being the only female gang leader, she was also one of
the youngest, both were feats in their own right. But aside from that, she was known and
feared by many outside her own crew as one of the most ruthless, powerful fighters they'd
ever seen. Yet inside her own group, she was viewed as the kind, sensitive, mother-figure
most of them had never had.
She got to the warehouse, and could hear the thumping bass of the music before she
even set foot inside. The thumping music and lingering adrenaline from a victorious knife
rumble was enough to put her in a good mood to enjoy the party for awhile, it was the only
drug she needed, although many of the other ravers were more partial to E. She jumped into
the pit and let the music take her away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Wonderful. A rave child. What else do we know about this one, chief?" Smith asked his
partner as they stood watching the crowd from the back of the room.
"Well, you've seen her fight, and win, twice. Talked to some of the other kids yesterday,
conflicting opinions really, it's weird."
"How so? By the way, does this kid have a name, or do we just call her hey you?"
"Well, the kids in her own gang insist she's all loving and quiet and generally cares a lot
about the whole lot of 'em, and everyone outside of her own gang is scared to death of her.
They all call her Lady Une."
"You wanna go talk to her or should I?"
"We�ll both go."
The two soldiers plunged into the crowd of happy, dancing rave children until they'd found
their target.
"Excuse me, are you Lady Une?" one of them asked.
" are you guys cops?" she asked, cautiously.
"No." one of them said.
"They yes, I am, and whatever it is, I probably didn't do it." she replied.
"We just want to talk to you. You're not in any trouble, we'd like to make an offer."
Smith said.
"If you guys are pimps forget it. Even I wont sink that low."
"Not at all. Could we go somewhere quieter to talk?" he asked.
After a few minutes of arguing, she finally gave in, figuring that if they were enemies,
it would be simple enough to have her knife out and ready at a moment's notice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The three sat at a booth in a 24 hour diner, still treating each other
with a certain amount of caution and, to some extent, paranoia, although, Une felt
more at ease now that they were in a more public place; she now figured they weren't
going to try to rape her or anything.
"So, what can I do for you?" she asked.
" As I�ve said before, we're not police officers, or "bacon" as I�ve heard them referred
to, we're not pimps, or rapists, or drug dealers, and we're most definitely not
social workers." Smith replied.
"Good, that's a relief, because out of the bunch, it's really social workers and
rapists that scare me the most." she said as she looked from one of them to the other.
"Anyway, as I was saying, we're with the military, Oz, to be exact. We wanted to ask you
if you'd be interested in joining. You'd get to get off the streets, get decent food,
training, and a nice paycheck when you're done training." He continued.
" that sounds all well and good, but I�d have to think about it some and discuss it with
my group, you understand. It's not all about me." she replied.
" Fair enough. We've ordered some burgers. We�d like to learn more about you, how long you've
been on the streets and the like." he said.
"Well, alright, the burgers alone are reason enough to stay. Unlike most of the other
kids out here, I�m on the streets by choice. I never even knew my father and I suffered
at the whim of my abusive mother (who had a severe substance abuse problem) until I
got fed up with her and left. That was when I was nine. I took what little money I had
and whatever was in her wallet and left. She was a rich bitch, so that was a decent bit
of cash. Anyway, last year, I saw her obituary in the paper, shed died of a heroin overdose.
I found it rather difficult to care. She probably never even noticed that I left, I�m sure.
"Anyway, I�ve been living here ever since. I'm sure you're wondering how I ended up
with the switchblade, and it's really ironic. I bought it in a pawnshop when I was really
depressed. I was originally going to kill myself. On the way back to the cardboard box I was
living in at the time, some poor unfortunate idiot tried to mug me. In the process of kicking
his butt I was also able to steal his wallet. I eventually figured I was too much of a wuss
to kill myslef, and after awhile I just had this bunch of younger kids following me around
for protection mostly, but I managed to teach them all I knew. One of the most useful things
being shoplifting, primarily from goodwill. It's easier because the stuff there is used and
if they question you, you just say it was yours when you walked in. And anyway, that's about
all, really." She finished.
The two Oz guys looked on intently, staring into her deep brown eyes, until, of course,
the food came and the three at the table ate ravenously.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'll have a decision made by tomorrow morning. You have the address, correct?" Une asked the
two men matter-of-factly as they walked out of the diner.
"Yes, we'll meet you there at 08 hundred."
"excellent. And by the way, thanks again for the burgers. See you in the morning then." She said
as she turned on her heel and stalked off in the direction of her gang's lair. She got there
and jumped down into the basement through the shattered window they'd been using as an entrance
since they'd started living there. She flipped open a lighter and surveyed the basement from it's
faint orange glow, everyone was there and accounted for, and they were all asleep except for one
other boy.
"Tony, I didn't expect you to still be up. I thought you and the others were going to panhandle
on the subway tomorrow." she sighed. "Oh well, I suppose it's just as well, I wanted to talk to
you anyway." She said.
"Ok, shoot." He replied as they moved closer to the ray of synthetic orange light that was filtering
in from the broken window.
"I was talking to a few men this past evening, they'd apparently been trying to talk to me all week.
Anyway, they're from the military, and were recruiting kids from the neighborhood. They asked if
I was interested in going with them." she said softly, so as not to wake the others.
"yea, I follow, but one question, if you leave whaddabout the gang? What the hella we supposed to do
then?" He asked.
"I knew that was coming, and that's why I wanted to talk to you first. You�re one of the oldest in
the group, and one of the strongest fighters. I'm proud of everybody here in that even the smallest,
runts in this basement can hold his own out here, and I know that. But they still need some authority.
I'm seriously considering taking them up on the offer, and I�d want you to take over." She said, and
turned to look up out the window.
The boy nodded solemnly. "When do ya haveta know by?" he asked.
"I told them to come here around eight in the morning, that I�d have my mind made up by then. As it
is I�m pretty sure now though. You can't live on the streets forever, you either die on the street
or you get hauled off to jail, or you make up your mind to do something about it. It was fine for
awhile, but you know me, I have a tendency to get bored with anything fairly easily."
He nodded again and then replied. "Ok, fine. I'll do it, but I can't say I�ll ever be as good as you,
Lady."
"If you're even half as good as I was, I think you'll be fine, not to brag or anything. Just do me a
favor, don't tell a word of this to anyone else. I want to tell them myself in the morning."
"cool. Goodnight."
"'Night."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As was standard practice in the basement, Lady Une had her entire group awake at sunrise
and assembled in the middle of the room for breakfast, whatever that happened to be, depending on
loot from the preceding day.
"Ok, looks like this morning, we're having Cap'n Crunch, which Nicky stole from A&P yesterday.
As the tradition goes, he gets first grab, and can keep any and all prizes at the bottom of the box."
She announced brightly, as a younger kid in the circle dug a hand deep into the cardboard box, and
scooped as much cereal out as he possibly could before handing the box to the next person. She waited
for the chatter to die down in the cellar, when everyone had gotten their share of sugary cereal before
making her announcement.
" I figured this would be the best possible time to say that I�ll be leaving all of you soon." she said.
Silence descended over everyone.
" Good, I looks like I�ve got your attention. I've had an offer to go train and join the military, and
I�ve decided to take them up on it. I'll be leaving later this morning. After much deliberation, I�ve
decided to leave Tony in charge." She said sternly, but with a hint of sadness in her voice. Low murmuring
started to vibrate through the room.
"Other than that it's business as usual. From now on, in this basement, as far as you're concerned, Tony's
God. Treat him no differently than you would me. Unless he gets all full of himself, in which case, you have
my permission to give him a swift kick in the pants." She said and flashed him a sarcastic smile and tossed
him her knife.
"May it serve you well."

..:>end chapter I<:...