chrys_rainbow

The End of the Rainbow

   The battlefield, that was what he had always feared. There was a time
when he thought that the battlefield would be his grave. Or hers, for that
matter. Even before their mutual understanding, that small worry had been in
the back of his mind. He had almost expected it to happen that way. There
were so many nightmares of the fighting, and the death that chased after the
two of them, almost teasing them. And now, death had caught up to them.

   Zechs Merquise was no stranger to death. His own parents had been
murdered as he had watched helplessly. He had fought on the battlefield,
killing his enemies. He had led men into battle, and all their mistakes and
casualties were on his hands. But this was different. This battlefield was
the most deadly, the most frightening. And worse yet, this was a battle he
would have to fight alone.

   Lowering his head, he couldn't help feeling so many different emotions
boil up inside him. He took her hand, so pale and thin now. How had this come
to be? The tubes all ran and whirred, and a machine beeped constantly,
letting him know that she was still there. He stared at the diamond ring on
her finger. How long before the ring would be passed on to another?

   Hearing the door open behind him, he turned, his now white hair blowing
in the evening breeze. There stood a woman in a suit, grief stricken as he
was. She was followed by a taller man with brown hair that was now streaked
with the gray, and the rest of their family. All the members of the Vaughn
family crowded into the hospital room, none of them saying a word. One young
man with platinum black hair put a hand on his grandfather's shoulder. "How
is she doing?"

   Zechs lowered his head, not knowing how to answer. "I don't know," he
said. "The cancer is just so advanced..." Tamara, their only child, stood
vigilantly by her mother.

   "Why? Why did Mom have to be so sick?" she said, close to crying. Her
husband put an arm around her, comforting her. Calen Vaughn had lost both of
his parents early in life, and could sympathize with her completely. Tamara
herself didn't know what to do. After 65 years of having a mother always
there for her, living without Lucrezia Noin would be so hard. Zechs was doing
no better than his daughter.

   "Is Gram Noin gonna be okay?" wondered little Katerina Tinten, Zechs's
oldest great grandchild. No one answered the child, but Zechs let her come
over and sit up on his lap by Noin. All of them, the whole family had grown
so much. Tamara had been their only daughter, but after she was married to
Calen Vaughn, the family had grown considerably. After they had twins plus
three more children, he and Noin had helped raise their grandchildren.
Lucrezia always had loved children.... He remembered the look on her face
when Katerina was born, and she declared that "You know you're getting old
when your children's children are having children of their own." And now the
family was growing up, going on despite the little losses.

   Some of the younger kids started to fidget, and they said their reluctant
good-byes to Gram Noin, as they called her. Zechs watched them go. They were
so beautiful, all of them his hope for the future. Then, his attention turned
back to his wife. They had been married for a long time, more than 65 years.
They were getting old, but before Noin was diagnosed with breast cancer, they
never really thought about death. That was left behind in their soldier days.

   When she had come home and told him about the malignant tumor that had
been found, his heart had stopped. Noin had never even know her family
medical history, for her family had been destroyed by the Alliance military
as his had been. He cursed himself for not thinking of it sooner, for
allowing her to putting off the appointment so much. But the fact of the
matter remained: she had cancer, and it was spreading.

   They had tried everything, even removing the tumor and tissue around it.
But that was to no avail, for there were suddenly many tumors. Lucrezia
Noin-Peacecraft had endured the cancer for a long time, remaining her
wonderful self. The woman with dark blue eyes refused to let such a thing get
the better of her. She had carried on, given advice to her daughter, helped
care for her grandchildren and great-grandchildren as they came along. But
after two years of living with the cancer, there was nothing more she could
do.

   It had been so painful for Zechs to live with the fact that his beloved
Noin was dying. At first, he refused to believe it. The former pilot berated
himself, telling himself that all life must end eventually. He himself had
almost died at the end of the Eve War when Epyon exploded along with Libra.
And when Tamara had self detonated her gundam and was presumed dead, he had
held on. But now, death seemed so real, so present.

   They had known each other for so long, he mused to himself. Ever since
they were kids at the academy, just two people looking for a friend. And as
he had gotten to know her, he had loved her. She was like an angel, he had
thought. Perfect and lovely and kind... And then, suddenly, they were grown
up and he was going off to join the ranks of OZ. All throughout the war, he
had begun to build his emotional shield, blocking out all his emotions to
protect himself. It had been the beginning of a new era for him, being
separated from her and put into a different situation.

   She had brought him out of it, however. After the war and his 'death', it
had been Noin who had brought him out of his own self doubt and hatred. She
had been the light in his life, the one that he had allowed himself to love.
They had been married, a thing he never expected. And together, they had
raised their daughter and watched her grow. And her children after that, and
so on.

   Noin stirred in her bed. She opened her eyes weakly, and both husband and
daughter were instantly by her side. "Hhh..hhh..hello," the old woman
muttered, her gray hair framing her thin face. "Everyone is here, how nice."

   "Hi, Gram Noin," whispered Viviane, who stood tall beside her father.

   "Oh, Vivi. You and your brothers and sister are just getting so tall..."
Zechs looked up at the young woman, who was a mother now as well. Then, Noin
squeezed his hand weakly, using what little strength she had left. "And
you're still here. You haven't given up on me yet..."

   "I'll never give up on you, Lu," he whispered.

   "We're going to keep fighting with you, Mom," promised Tamara. She took
Noin's other hand, and the woman looked over at the ex-Preventer Chief with a
strange look in her eyes.

   "I am so proud of you, Tamara. Your father and I are so proud of you..."

   "And I was always proud of you too, Mom," she answered. "Please don't
leave us."

   "We all have to leave sometime," came the answer. "Now's my time to leave
and let you live your own lives."

   "No," Zechs muttered. "You can't just leave like this."

   "I have to. Zechs, I can feel it. No more fighting it, no more denying
this. I just want to be free from all this." Noin settled back against the
pillow, hoping her family would understand. They could never understand her
feelings, and she knew that. All of them loved her, and didn't want her to
go. But after all the pain, all the medicines and procedures, she just wanted
to leave. But not here, not in this place.

   "Take me away from here," she said suddenly. "I don't want to die here."
That caught her husband by surprise and he gasped.

   "What?" he said, almost choking on the words.

   "I will," Tamara promised, turning to her father. "Think about it Dad. Do
you want to spend your last few hours in a hospital room, hooked up to tubes
and monitors?" Zechs shook his head no, thinking about what she had said.
Alexander, Viviane's twin and the Prince of Sanc, made a call on a cell phone.

   "Where would you like to go, Lady Lucrezia?" he asked his grandmother
softly, looking over at her as she thought about this.

   "To Victoria," Noin stated simply. "At the end, I wish to return to the
beginning." Alex nodded and arranged for a shuttle to come and pick them up
as soon as possible. Ana Vaughn immediately left to handle the hospital
papers, along with her older brother Andrew. The other three grandchildren
and their parents, along with Zechs remained in the room with Noin. Kenichi
Vaughn, who was a doctor, checked on his grandmother's vital stats to see if
she could make the trip.

   "I hope that shuttle gets here soon," he remarked to his brother.

   "It will," Alex reassured them.

   In their own world, Zechs and Noin grasped each other's hands tightly.
"When did we get so old?" the dying woman asked her husband, looking at the
flowing white hair that was once platinum blonde.

   "I got old after you got the cancer," he replied. "That was when I began
to feel so old."

   "And when our great grandchildren were born," Noin mused, smiling as best
she could. "We have such a lovely family. I am so glad that they all came
here just to see me."

   "You are the light our lives, dear," he whispered to her. "You're the one
who holds us all together. How are we going to live without you?" Then, after
a silence, he added, "How am I going to live without you?"

   "Just as you live with me," she replied. "One day at a time."

   "I love you, Lucrezia."

   "And I love you. Will stay with me until I go back to sleep?"

   "I will, love," he promised her. They were brought out of the reverie
when Calen informed the two that the shuttle was ready to take them to
Victoria. Kenichi Vaughn got the IV on a stand and they all wheeled Noin out
of the hospital where she had been trapped for so long. She marveled at the
beautiful night sky when she got out, looking up at the stars. "Soon, you
will be up there with them," whispered Zechs as he walked beside her.

   "I hope so. I always loved space." Soon, she would be leaving the other
thing she loved, her family and husband. Noin knew that her death would come
eventually, but not like this. As much as she was ready for the relief, it
would be hard to leave those she loved behind. She had been by Zechs's side
for so many years. What would it be like when they were finally separated?
She worried most for her husband, who had always depended on her to be there
for him. She had taken him through the tough times in his life. All these
years, they had always thought that he would be the first to leave. She had
been able to handle death, especially that of a loved one. But the man she
had married had lost almost everyone he ever loved, even if it was just for a
short time, and could not handle any more loss.

   The shuttle was waiting for them, as promised. As soon as they all
boarded, it took off, heading for Lake Victoria in Africa as fast as it could
go. Noin relished seeing it again. Many important parts of her life had been
spent there. She had graduated from it when she was only 13, and had returned
there later to teach during the wars with the Alliance. Then, she had left it
to help out her best friend and the man she loved. Little did she know that
she would return after it was rebuilt to train soldiers to fight for the Sanc
Kingdom Alliance, including her future son-in-law. Since her retirement at
the end of the war, she hadn't been there often.

   Zechs looked out the window, flexing his fingers and stretching a little.
The ride to Victoria was smooth, and with recent technology, it would hopeful
be short. He gazed out at the vast expanse of water and land that was the
Earth. They would all be back in Africa soon, as the place where their lives
had been changed forever. And soon, a new event would occur, one that hadn't
before. In the place where their love had blossomed, the rainbow would end,
and the flower would finally drop its last petals. "The end is the beginning.
I understand now," he mumbled to himself.

   "Symbolic, isn't it?" Noin remarked, barely staying awake. "And we're
going to go down by the lake, where the shore and the trees are, just like we
used to. Only this time, we don't have to sneak out." She managed to giggle,
and he was reminded of earlier times when she used to laugh that way. She
hadn't done that in years. As death crept closer and closer, she seemed to be
getting younger, trying to defeat the demon knocking on her door.

   At last, the shuttle landed just outside the school. Everyone helped to
roll Noin out of the shuttle followed by the IV. Noin felt so awkward like
this, always being rolled around in a bed, constantly followed by everyone.
They took her out past the school, which was thriving now that it was a
civilian academy again. All nine of them headed down to the famous lake,
where it all had started.

   Lucrezia Noin gazed out at the expanse of rolling blue waters, taking in
the familiar sight. She looked over at the tree, where she and Zechs had
carved their names long ago. Below it was another carving, one she hadn't
noticed before. Just below "Z.M. and L.N, together forever, was a smaller
carving that read: "T. P. and C.V. forever friends." The 86 year old woman
smiled at her daughter, and then at her husband.

   "Life just keeps on going round and round, all of us moving in a circle,"
she mumbled to herself, thinking of all that had happened here. Noin could
feel it inside her, the way her heart was slowing, the tired feeling that she
had within her. Soon, she would be gone, shedding this mortal skin for
something else. It surprised her that she would know when it was her time to
go, but she knew that the knowledge was given to her for a reason. "Will
someone help me up?" she asked, wondering if they would do as she wished.

   Sure enough, her grandsons all gathered around and tried to ease her into
a sitting position. Swinging her legs off the bed, they supported her until
she was standing completely. Noin could feel the sand beneath her bare feet.
How wonderful that felt to her! "I think it's time," she stated softly, her
voice already fading. It was then that she said her good-byes to each of her
lovely grandchildren. Most were ready to cry, Alex and Viviane had already
let the tears stream down their faces. They had been raised by their
grandparents and father for the first few years of their life. To Zechs and
Noin, they had been like their own children.

   "Good-bye, Gram Noin," whispered Alex. "We will all miss you so much."

   "I love you, dears," Lucrezia Peacecraft rasped, fading away slowly.
Before long, the third generation and their father decided to leave Tamara
and Zechs alone with Noin, to say the final good-byes. The six people turned
reluctantly, and headed back to the shuttle. It was time for them to leave,
and let Noin's husband and daughter help her with the final transition.

   "I love you, Mom," Tamara began, supporting her mother on one side. The
three of them decided to sit on the sand, so they settled where Noin could
feel the warm waves lap over her feet.

   "And I love you, Ta'ra," Noin replied, using the woman's childhood
nickname. "I remember when I was pregnant with you, and your father would
knit you the most lovely things." For once, Zechs didn't argue with her, and
they just looked out at the night sky, with its luminous sliver of a crescent
moon.

   "Tomorrow is a new moon," Tamara whispered. "It will be so dark tomorrow,
but I know that in a little while the moon will be full again."

   "So is life," Noin told her daughter. "Like the moon, I will always be
with you. May your days be long and happy, just as mine were. Take care of
your father for me."

   "I will." Her mother planted a kiss on her daughter's forehead lovingly.
She could not feel the waves as much, and the sand was no longer as warm.
Noin knew it then. There wasn't much time left for her. "Good-bye, Tamara
Victoria Peacecraft Vaughn. I shall miss you."

   "And I'm going to miss you, Mom. I love you." With that, her daughter
stood, and let her father be alone with his wife, one last time. Zechs let
Noin lean against him as they watched the lake, the tide rippling in and out.

   "We used to do this 80 years ago, remember?" he said softly.

   "Of course, Zechs. I remember everything. When I go, keep those memories
inside you. I don't want what we have to be lost."

   "Whatever makes you think death will stop our love?" he asked, his voice
hopeful, yet firm. "I will love you until eternity and beyond."

   "You know, why is it you are only this romantic at the end?" she asked,
laughing a little. The laugh turned into a cough, and Zechs held her closer.
"I love you, Zechs, more than anything else in life. Of all the things I have
done, loving you was the best mistake I ever made."

   "Oh, Lucrezia," he sighed. "How can I let you go?"

   "We will still be together," she promised. "Will you sing to me again?

    Noin asked then, gazing back over towards the tree. "Just like we used
to?"

   "Yes," he answered. "If I can still sing. Which song?"

   "The one that feels right." She knew exactly which song this was, as did
he. Noin settled back against her best friend, her confidante, the father of
her child, and her husband, and her soulmate and true love. She took a breath
in and sang, the last of her energy going into the song. This was what she
had wanted, not a death where she was trapped between white walls and metal
machines. This was not death, this was life all over again. Letting the music
flow from her soul, she sang.

   Together, their voices mingled in a soft tone. To most ears, it sounded
so strange, not at all like beautiful music. But to the two sitting on the
sand, it was the most lovely sound of all, drowning out the outside world.
Memories of times gone by returned, all the memories of being together, of
being apart, of everything in both of their lives. It all twined into one,
weaving in and out of their song.

"What do we do at the end of the rainbow

What will we do when it's time to say good bye

How will things change when we finally know

That rainbows end on the ground, and not in the sky

And when the light fades

It will return

But the shooting star and blazing aurora

Are lost forever after

So when you go and I'm alone

I may just follow your aurora like a shooting star

Or forever wait for you to come home

For I only exist where you are..."

   As he finished, he realized that he had sung the last four lines by
himself. The woman he had loved all his life was no longer singing. He could
still feel her heartbeat sluggishly. "For I only exist where you are," he
sang over again, a tear or to falling to the ground. Then, he felt a pang of
pain deep in his chest. Suddenly, he was suddenly aware of her heartbeat and
his. They were both fading quickly. The pain hit again and he smiled to
himself, repeating one line. "I may just follow your aurora like a shooting
star..."

Disclaimer:

Sadly, I do not own Gundam Wing or Zechs and Noin (but Tamara and the Vaughns
are mine). This is just a humble tribute to the never ending love of the
couple known as 6x9 *sniffle sniffle*.