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Touched by an Angel by Angel of Ice Disclaimer- I don't own Gundam Wing, oh the lowly life I lead. [sniffs]. Anyways, on a more cheerful topic, I do own the writing part of this fic. A/N- it's weird but all of a sudden, I just got the incredible urge to write ANGST. Lots of it. So, who am I to resist temptation when it calls? ^_~. Oh yeah, I also used 2 bible verses in this fic. One is right below this and the other bible verse in this fic is the first part of what's engraved on Noin's tombstone. The second part, I added myself. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ -Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted- -Matthews 5:4 Zechs sat at his desk in his Preventer's office. He stared blandly at his surroundings, not actually aware of them. No, his mind was off again, thinking about her. He couldn't stop, no matter how much he tried to. His heart ached, pain he could not describe as a tear made its way down his face. "Noin..." he said out loud as he quickly brushed the tear away. He couldn't believe he would never see her again. I can't believe it he told his mind numbly. She can't be dead. Noin had left about two months ago, leaving no trace. There was no word from her until... He felt like his heart and soul would crack any moment. He painfully recalled that day. The day his life ended, maybe not physically but internally. Noin was his life, she was the reason he had not killed himself after the war. But he had died the moment she did. <Flashback> The phone rang. Zechs picked it up quickly. Everytime it rang, there was the possibility of it being her. "Hello? Preventer Wind" he said, praying for her voice. "Zechs Merquise?" the voice on the other end asked. "Yes, that's me" Zechs said, disappointed but he managed to sound business-like. Indifferent. It was not her. He was slightly confused though, why was this person calling him by his non-preventers name? "We regret to inform you that the body of Lucrezia Noin was found washed up on the seashore today." Zechs clutched the phone so hard his knuckles turned deathly white. His breathing grew a little ragged as he struggled to control his voice. This has to be some kind of mistake he thought. "How do you know it's her?" he barked. The woman on the other end didn't sound fazed, she was used to this. "She had a waterproof wallet in her pocket. Our doctors think she only died recently, say about a week ago. Drowning, they said." "I'll be there right away." he said, heart pounding. The woman gave him the address and he sped off toward the morgue. Noin, Noin, Noin his head screamed. No, it can�t be true. He reached the morgue and sprinted to the desk. He gave the woman his name and she led him to a cold steel table with a covered body. She left him alone. Zechs stared at the covered body, afraid to lift it, afraid to know what it meant. The minutes of nothingness passed by, they were the worst Zechs had ever felt. Finally he stepped forward and lifted up the cover. His heart broke into a million tiny pieces at the sight. It was Noin's body. Her face was deathly white and cold, her eyes were closed for eternity, never to look at him again. He stumbled blindly, covering her again. No! his mind yelled as he walked out of the morgue. His legs felt stiff and frozen, his whole mind numb. He reached his car and somehow managed to open the door. He sat on the front seat, staring out. No he thought again, burying his face in his hands. It couldn't be true. Noin couldn't be dead. <END FLASHBACK> That had been two days ago. Zechs had pulled his composure together, going back to work, brushing everyone off. He refused to accept their sympathies and refused to help plan her funeral. What difference would it make? It couldn't bring Noin back. Now that he thought about it, what difference would it make if he died as well? No one would miss him here. The only person that had ever cared for him was Noin and now she was gone. Maybe he would see her again in heaven? He laughed dryly, he wouldn't be going to heaven. No, after what he did, he would go to hell. But the thought was so tempting, seeing Noin again. Holding her close to him again. The only thing it would take was a bullet in his heart, shattering it. But then, it had already shattered, it would make no difference. He looked at his desk drawer, knowing the weapon that lay within. He pulled it out, fingering the gun�s smooth black metal. It would only take one shot, and he could be with his Noin again... A knock came on the door. Zechs sighed painfully and put the gun back in its drawer. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Zechs bowed his head as he listened to the minister make the final tribute to Lucrezia Noin. "Ashes to ashes...dust to dust" the minister concluded. Zechs lifted his head up and watched as they lowered the casket into the ground. The casket containing the body of the only woman he had ever loved. He watched as the others threw dirt into the grave and as the grave filled with dirt, covering it completely. Relena saw her older brother, standing in the shadows of a tree. She walked towards him. Her eyes was full of tears, she had been close to Noin too. She was worried about Zechs and how he was handling all of this. Even though he had never said it, she knew he loved Noin. She put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Milliardo, if you want to talk...I'll be there" she told him. Zechs looked at his little sister, "Thank you for the offer Relena, but I doubt it" was his reply. Relena gave Zechs a tight hug in return and walked back to the others. Zechs waited until the others all left the graveyard, with heads lowered and shushed voices. He waited until no one was left. Then he walked towards Noin's grave. He ran his hand along the smooth, marble surface of the tombstone. The tombstone was simple, yet beautiful. Much like the woman it honoured. Zechs looked at it again, reading the elegant carved script. Lucrezia Noin Born: September 5 AC 175 Died: September 10 AC 196 He who would restrain her, restrains the wind. For she is the fire burning, lighting the souls of many. "Lucrezia" he murmured, "My Love..." Then, at last, Zechs allowed himself to shed his first tear for Noin. The silver drop fell from his pain-filled eyes, onto the tombstone, blending in with the creamy marble. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Days later... Zechs sat on his couch, holding a bottle of Wild Turkey. His head swirled, he hated this pain, he hated this loneliness. "What would you think if you were here, Noin?" he slurred. He had drunk the entire bottle of wine, in hopes it would take his mind off of her. No such luck. It only made everything worse. He stumbled around his house, blindly, as the effects of the wine started to wear off. He crashed into his bedside table, causing its contents to fall onto the floor. A picture frame's glass cracked. He picked it up and looked at the woman in the picture's captivating beauty. "Why are you haunting me Noin?" he said harshly, to the air, "Why can't you leave me alone?" his body started to tremble, "Why can't I forget you?" A soft breeze blew through the open window. He closed his eyes, kneeling on the floor. Strangely, the wind was warm. Zechs felt soothed and...loved. He recognized the feeling, "Noin?" he whispered. The warm feeling embraced him, he felt so warm. He knew it could only be Noin. "Why?" he trembled, "why?" Noin�s angelic voice spoke to his mind, "Zechs, I love you". "How did you drown?" he asked and looked up into a pair of deep purple eyes that just radiated warmth. "It was an accident. I went swimming and...the tide came up". "Why did you leave?" Zechs asked again, clutching Noin's hands. They felt so solid, maybe she never died. "Because" Noin said softly, "I needed to be alone and think". "Was it because of me?" Zechs was full of questions he never got to ask. "Well, I did need to sort out how I felt about you, yes" she said. "So it's my fault you left and died" Zechs felt a tear run down his face, "it's all my fault." Noin's warm hand brushed it, "No it isn't. It was an accident, accidents happen. You can't blame yourself". Zechs lowered his head, "Can I...join you?" he asked, a tremor in his voice showing. Noin closed her eyes, "No Zechs. You still have your life ahead of you. Don't give it all up for me". "But- you are my life, Noin" Zechs whispered, looking up at the vision. "I won't let you die because of me" Noin said firmly, "We'll meet again someday Zechs, but now's not the time." Zechs held Noin in his arms, she felt so solid, yet transparent at the same time. "I love you, Lucrezia Noin. I'm sorry I never got to say it when you were alive. I'm sorry that I took you for granted and never realized how much I needed you when you were alive" Zechs cried into Noin's hair. He felt like a little child again, lost. "I knew you loved me Zechs. You didn't need words to say it" she brushed a few bangs from his head, "My last thought before I died was about you" she whispered and planted a ghostly kiss on his forehead. "I have to go now" she said. Zechs held onto her arm as tight as he could. "No, don't leave me". Noin's face held pain, "I have to." "Will I ever see you again?" Zechs asked. "I'll always be with you." she answered. Zechs pulled her for one last kiss. He savoured it, being his first kiss with Noin and his last. The wind blew once more, turning cold again and Zechs found himself holding air. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ A/N- [blows into Kleenex] that was so sad, if I do say so myself. Well, there's my attempt at angst, hope you enjoyed it. I don't think I'll ever write another 6x9 deathfic again, they're my favourite couple and I don't want either of them to die. |
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