"COWS WITH GUNS"
by Dana Lyons
Fat and docile, big and dumb
They eat to grow, grow to die
Nobody thunk it, nobody knew
He hid in the forest, read books with great zeal
He spoke about justice, but nobody stirred
He mooed, "we must fight, escape or we'll die!"
But then he was captured, stuffed into a crate
He was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozy
They came with a needle to stick in his thigh
Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door
He picked up a bullhorn and jumped up on the hay
They crashed the gate in a great stampede
Sixty police cars were piled in a heap
Black smoke rising, darkening the day
The president said, "Enough is enough
The newspapers gloated, folks sighed with relief
The cows were surrounded, they waited and prayed
The order was given to turn cows to Whoppers
From the CD "Cows With Guns" by Dana Lyons
To return home
They look so stupid, they aren't much fun
Cows aren't fun
Die to be eaten as hamburger fry
Cows well done
No one imagined the great cow guru
Cows are one
He loved Che Guevera, a revolutionary veal
Cow Se Tongue
He felt like an outcast, alone in the herd
Cow doldrums
Cows gathered around, cause the steaks were so high
Bad cow pun
Loaded into a truck, where he rode to his fate
Cows are bummed
No one suspected he was packing an Uzi
Cows with guns
He kicked for the groin, he pissed in their eye
Cows well hung
Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor
Run cows run!
"We are free roving bovines. We run free today.
We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high!
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die!"
Cows with guns
Tipped over a milk truck, torched all the feed
Cows have fun
Covered in cow pies, covered up deep
Much cow dung
Twelve burning McDonalds, have it your way
Cows burn buns
These uppity cattle, its time to get tough!"
Cow dung flung
Tomorrow at noon, they would all be ground beef
Cows on buns
They mooed their last moos, they chewed their last hay
Cows outgunned
Enforced by the might of ten thousand coppers
But on the horizon surrounding the shoppers
Came the deafening roar of chickens in choppers. . . .
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