Hopeless and Lonely
Smiling on the outside
The hurt beneath my skin
My eyes are fading
My soul is bleeding
I'll try to make it seem okay
But my faith is wearing thin
So help me heal these wounds
They've been open for way too long
Help me fill this soul
Even though this is not your fault
But I'm open and im bleeding
All over your brand new rug
And i need someone to help me sew them up
So you come along
I'll push you away
Then kick and scream for you to stay
Cuz i need someone to help me close them up
i died inside my own head
and i'd die again for you
i'm faded and tired
completely uninspired
and i'd die again for you
so kill me witht he love that you won't give to me
and pack the wound with salt i want to feel it bleed
i'm searching for reasons
to keep away demons
and i'd die again for you
i wish you were near me
could feel it when you hear me say
i'd die again for you
you wanted me to crawl so now i'm on my knees
why's it always have to be me
that's always left out to burn and
i'll never learn
too many pills in the pharmacy now
too many bugs in the shower
there's too much shit in the air we breathe now
there's too much anger inside me
there's too much scarring when i bleed
there's too much therapy i need
there is no god that i have seen
there's too much doubt in my mom's words
there's too much fear in the way she sees life
i wonder if i'm just like her
i wonder if i can make myself right
you try to help
you listen well
you cannot change the way i see
can"t run forever, you're pushing me under
what a way to live my life
i'm hiding from the battles i don't want to fight
what i've become
and now it's going grey
all the lines are blurred and decayed
i can't recall exactly who's to blame... anymore
is it me or is it ou, something isn't right
of all the things that we could do we just wanna fight
somday i will find the courage to embrace you
someday i will find the strength to erase you
some days i think i'm nothing without you
sometimes i wish that i could just kill you
what a way we live our lives
it's hard to breathe
it feels like i'm infected by my dad's disease
and now it's going grey
and you're the one i chose to feed me pain
and i'm the one you bring home so ashamed... through their eyes
and i see myself in heaven
if i can free myself from this hell