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| BUTCHERS SIGN NEW `KEEPER 14/06/2001 The Butchers` manager, Kevin Rhodes, today signed experienced goalkeepr Richard Spruce, brother of The Butchers` Andrew. Rhodes: "I am delighted to be able to say that Richard is now a Butchers player - we`ve been after him for quite a while now because we have been desperate for a new goalkeepr and he is exactly what we`ve been looking for." Richard today trained, along with Rhodes, Pyper, Tom Hughes and Andrew Spruce, at The Slaughter House. |
| FLOOR MAKES REALLY COOL NOISE 16/06/2001 The vast majority of The Butchers` squad last night attended the S6 Alva Academy Prom at the Albert Hall, Stirling. Highlights of the evening were... Phat Guy and the Piemaster thought the toilet floor made a really cool noise. Oh yeah, and Piemaster`s chicken tried to escape from his plate but he had his trusty knife on hand to destroy the foul beast. Pun intended. |
| PIEMASTER WINS THE TROPHY 19/06/2001 Today saw some of The Butchers take to the training fields, with Piemaster, Phat Guy, Pyper and Tom attending. The Piemaster won the final game of the session and was therefore duly presented with the inflatable Littlewoods-sponsored FA Cup, which is now residing proudly on his mantlepiece. |
| RHODES SIGNS ON THE DOTTED LINE 1/07/2001 The Butchers today completed the signing of left-sided midfielder Mark Rhodes, brother of The Butchers` Kevin, in time for him to link up with his new team mates at today`s training session. Manager Kevin Rhodes had this to say: "I am delighted that we have finally got Mark on board. He is a very good left-sided player, something which I felt the team has been lacking, and he will add a new dimension to the midfield area. He is very much in the mould of ex-Rangers player Jorg Albertz." The Butchers are still looking to strengthen their squad even more over the summer and Kevin Rhodes is hoping to have another two or three players on board shortly. |
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| BUTCHERS PARADE ANOTHER NEW FACE 5/07/2001 At a press conference today, The Butchers` chairman, The Guv`nor, unvailed the latest signing - Lee Hollifield, a towering Geordie centre-back. Following a successful trial and subsequent medical with The Butchers on Tuesday, Lee was duly signed, having been impressed with the club`s facilities. |
| REFEREE WANTED 8/07/2001 The Butchers have lined up a friendly match against a team from Glasgow, to be played towards the end of July. The club are currently seeking a referee to take charge of this match - any local person who is interested, pleasecontact the club at the address below. Formal referee training is not necessary. The Butchers are still searching for a local league in which to participate this coming season. If anyone has any suggestions, whether it be establishing a new league or inviting the club to join an existing one, please contact the club at the below address. [email protected] |
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| BUTCHERS TO GET NEW LOOK 22/7/2001 The Butchers` chairman, the Guv`nor, today revealed plans for a new strip for the up and coming season. The new strip, pictured opposite, will be supplied by sporting giants Pendle, suppliers of the Mighty Wasps, Alloa Athletic. The new shirt will continue to bear the C.B.F. Sports logo and will also feature a new club crest. The board are said to be very happy with the new strip and believe that it will be a great success with both players and fans alike. Anyone with any coments regarding the new shirt, or wishing to purchase one, contact the club at: [email protected] |
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| RHODES DROPS A BOMBSHELL 6/8/2001 Butchers manager, Kevin Rhodes, dropped a bombshell at a press conference today. He said: "Following defensive frailties being exploited in training recently, I`ve decided to do something I should have done a long time ago - I`m going to reinstate a certain Butchers superstar. I`M GOING TO REINSTATE THE FARM! And on behalf of the millions, AND MILLIONS, of Butchers supporters, I just want to say that, once again, we want to... SMELLLLALALALALALALA what the Farm is fertilising!" |
| RHODES FIRST TO SIGN NEW CONTRACT 12/9/2001 Mark Rhodes today became the first Butchers` player to sign an extention to his current deal, when he signed a five year extention, keeping him at the club until June 2006. The contract, believed to be worth around 10,000 dribies per week, is likely to make him the highest earner at The Butcher`s FC. Upon signing, Mark said: "I feel this club are ambitious and I feel it is a good career move and I hope we have much success in the near future." When asked about his terms, Mark was quoted as saying that they were "extraordinary, absolutley extraordinary!" It is now expected that other Butchers` players will follow Rhodes` example and also sign extentions to their current deals. |
| BUTCHERS` COUNT THE COST FOLLOWING TRAINING SESSION 23/9/2001 Today`s training session left several of The Butchers` first-team players on the injury list, although all are expected to be fit for next Sunday`s session. Chris Pyper was the first to be injured, following Kevin Rhodes` sliding challenge which, although legal, upended The Butcher`s frontman, leaving him with an injured arm, which has since been placed in a protective sling, and brusing around the eye. Next to go was Mark Rhodes, who sustained his customary injury while unleashing one of his fierce left-foot shots. Although originally thought to be broken, an examination by the club doctor revelaed no long-term damage. Even with this injury, he still went on to win The Training Ground F.A. Cup twice. The next injury was to Andrew Spruce, following an outrageous challenge by Mark Rhodes which left Spruce with a severe groin strain. The next injury occurred when Kevin Rhodes viciously lunged at Andrew Spruce, attempting to break his legs, but missed completley, leaving the two players to viciously smash their heads together, with both players now having suspected concussion. Thankfully, there were no more injuries. |
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| RHODES SEALS SPONSORSHIP DEAL 03/10/2001 The Butchers` Mark Rhodes today sealed a lucrative boot and shinguard deal with club sponsors CBF Sports. The deal, thought to be worth an estimated 300,000 Dribies, was concluded earlier today at the CBF Headquarters in Aberlourie, Scotland. |
| RHODES OUT FOR UP TO 3 WEEKS 16/10/2001 The Butchers' skipper, Kevin Rhodes (left), has been advised that he will be unable to play football for up to 3 weeks following the clash of heads between himself and team mate Andrew Spruce three weeks ago. Rhodes is still suffering from concussion and it is believed that he has suffered minor tissue damage in his head. |
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| BOARD HITS OUT AT BARNES RUMOURS 18/10/2001 The Butchers' Board of Directors have hit out at rumours that Kevin Rhodes is to be sacked as manager and replaced by ex-Celtic manager John Barnes (right). Despite Rhodes' poor managerial record with The Butchers, chairman ,The Guv'nor, earlier said: "There is absoluely no truth in these rumours whatsoever. We have never had, and never will have, an interest in appointing John Barnes. For one thing, we don't think he'd be capable of doing a good job for The Butchers Football Club and anyway, Kevin Rhodes has our full backing as manager. In fact, we are currently in negotiations with him with a view to extending his current deal." Rhodes was unavailable for comment. |
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| SPRUCE BACKS BARNES 17/03/2002 Following The Butchers 5-8 defeat to The Cross Keys today, Andrew Spruce has been quoted as saying that he publically backs John Barnes to be new manager. Current manager, Kevin Rhodes, was last night unavailable for coment. |
| BUTCHERS RECALL TAFF 19/03/2002 Following his impressive display against The Butchers on Sunday, Kevin Rhodes has recalled Ben "Taff" Hughes from his loan spell and he is now available for selection once more. |
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| RHODES OUT, SPRUCE IN 07/04/2002 Following their record defeat to The Cross Keys, Kevin Rhodes today handed in his resignation as Butchers manager. After an emergency board meeting, The Butchers were able to confirm that Rhodes' resignation had been accepted and that current Butchers player, Andrew Spruce, had been appointed new player/manager, with Kevin Rhodes due to continue in a player/assistant manager role. Following the news, Rhodes had this to say: "I realise that recent results have not been going our way and our supporters were becoming understandably unsettled. That is why I decided that the time was right to step down and let a new man have a chance." |