Scene 1
Airport security car with sounds going drives by, zoom in on 009. Car stops. Agent casually walks over (while carefully looking both directions) to a mysterious figure cloaked in shadows.
Agent: (whispering) are you the mysterious figure cloaked in shadows who I was told to meet?
Mysterious figure: Yes.
Agent: What orders from headquarters?
Mysterious figure: You are to go meet with the Conditioner.
Agent: You mean the Commissioner?
Mysterious figure: No, the Conditioner.
Agent: (in shock) The Conditioner? Is the case really that important? What about the Shampoo?
Mysterious figure: This case is too important for the shampoo.
Agent: Too important for the shampoo?
Mysterious figure: Yes. I�ve arranged very subtle transportation so that you won�t be noticed.
Limo drives a long with blaring sound
Voice on loudspeaker: �Make way for an agent on the way to see the Conditioner for a very important and secret case!�
Agent walks hurriedly through a door and into an office
Agent: Conditioner?
Conditioner: Yes, that�s me. (The conditioner is a bottle of conditioner with a pink wig on it)
Agent: You sent for me?
Conditioner: Yes Agent, I�m afraid I�ve got a very serious case on my hands, and you, being the best agent, is the only one I can entrust it with.
Agent: I just want to know one thing Conditioner.
Conditioner: What?
Agent: Are you sure you should�ve used �is� in the second sentence you said? It seemed like an �are� situation to me.
Conditioner: Are you questioning my grammar skills?
Agent: No sir, just mentioning it. Now, mind telling me what my case is?
Conditioner: (sounding annoyed) that�s what I was trying to tell you before you so rudely interrupted! I must now tell you who is behind this atrocity. Sit down. This may come as a shock.
Agent: (Sitting Down) who is it?
Conditioner: It�s.. (Dramatic pause) DR. Cheapo (hoarsely)! (Agent gasps as Duh Duh Duh plays) Do you know her?
Agent: Nope, never met her in my life.
Conditioner: Then why did you gasp?
Agent: Don�t know. Just seemed like the kind of time to gasp. Mind telling me what her evil plot is?
Conditioner: We�re not entirely sure, but we know it�s got something to do with really big lasers and she�s going to charge us a really big price unless we can stop her.
Agent: Going to? You me she hasn�t all ready? Then how do you know she�s even doing anything?
Conditioner: Well, our spies have informed us that she�s up to something, and as for the rest we guessed it. Villains in spy movies always have really big lasers and charge large ransoms.
Agent: I see. So my mission really is all fact based and no lousy guesses. Nice to know. Do you have a lead for me to follow?
Conditioner: Actually we do.
Agent: Shocking.
Conditioner: Isn�t it? The lead is a girl who tipped us off in the first place. Here�s where you�ll find her. (Hands agent paper)
*Fade*
Scene 2 (meanwhile)
Clown Girl sits across a desk from Dr. Cheapo. Dr. Cheapo is stroking a cat. A black cat, that�s fluffy, the kind of cat that evil villains have. Dr. Cheapo is holding paper and a pen.
Dr. Cheapo: So, you want to apply for the evil henchman job?
Clown: Yes. Can I?
Dr. Cheapo: All you have to do is answer some questions.
Clown: Goody. I love answering questions.
Dr. Cheapo: All right then. First question. What is your name?
Clown: Clown Girl
Dr. Cheapo: (writing after every answer) Age?
Clown: 8
Dr. Cheapo: What is your favorite color?
Clown: That�s a hard one. I�ve always been fond of red.
Dr. Cheapo: Have you done anything evil in your past?
Clown: Not really. Though I did steal this costume. And the brain of the clown that was wearing it.
Dr. Cheapo: (looking a bit confused) Okay. What�s your favorite food?
Clown: Pie used to be my favorite food, but ever since I stole this costume I�ve had so much pie thrown in my face that I loath it. So I�d have to say donuts.
Dr. Cheapo: What do you think of when you think of ducks?
Clown: I�m not sure. I�d have to say cocoanuts and giraffes.
Dr. Cheapo: Just one last question. If something is annoying or scaring you, what would you do?
Clown: Another tough one! I used to run away screaming chocolate, after that I stared at a rock figuring that if I couldn�t see it, it couldn�t see me. Then I realized the power of mooing at things. Mooing makes scary things go away. So, did I pass?
Dr. Cheapo: I�ve got an assignment I need doing right now, so I�ll say yes now and kill you later.
Clown: Yippee! I passed! That�s the first test I�ve ever passed in my whole life!
Dr. Cheapo: Now, you need to go meet an agent, give him this information (hands Clown Girl a note) and team up with him so that I can have a spy on him.
Clown: Yippee! I�ve got an assignment!
*Prances away as the picture fades*