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Hey, Ladies...Do you have trouble getting a man to commit, even after he's seen you naked? Do you hang around salsa clubs, yearning for the love of your life, only to end up sleeping with Eurotrash, and boring Ex-boyfriends? Do perky, optimistic virgins get you down? Then, do I have a plan for you!
THE GREENLEE SMYTHE GETTIN' A GUY PHILOSOPHY:
''No'' means...''Not Yet''
''I'm in love with someone else'' means...''Next time, wear that teddy-thong thing''
''I only want us to be friends'' means...''Get undressed, and use my shower''
''I want to be my own man'' means...''Get your Grandaddy to buy him a multi-million dollar internet company''
''We won't ever sleep together again'' means...''Next time, YOU change the sheets!''
With this philosophy, you cannot fail ! Just read these testimonials:
| ''Dear Greenlee, At first, I was sceptical, but, after trying your methods, especially Chapter 3, ''Swallow Your Pride'', I actually got this guy I've been chasing for two years to sleep with me! Actually, I did have to drug him, & he doesn't really know that we slept together, and, uh, He's still married to someone else, but, when I move on to ''Plan C''-'Lock yourself, naked, into the trunk of his car, & don't leave, until the firemen show up with the Jaws of Life', I just know he'll fall head over heels in love with me! Thanks, T.D., NY,NY'' |
Good for you, T.D.! & remember- if all else fails, sleep with anyone else in the meantime! Wouldn't want your lovemaking skills to get rusty, now would you?| ''Dear Greenlee, Thank you so much, for all your advice! As you instructed, in Chapter 7, ''Get Naked, QUICK!'', I automatically began to undress, every chance that I got, in front of my intended fiance'. Sure enough, his interest seems to have peaked, but there's a slight problem. His roommate, ''Jeffrey'', seems to think that I haven't got a chance! We fight over this, constantly! It really bothers me, because ''Jeffrey'' is the one who introduced me to ''Nigel'' (My Love!)- At the club, where I'm a barmaid, ''The Puffy Parasol''. ''Jeffrey'' does a Bette Midler impersonation that is so good, it's eerie ! Anyway, ''Nigel'' came in to pick up ''Jeffrey'' one night, & I was a goner! I'd hate for mine & Jeffrey's friendship to be ruined, but- what if he's right, & I haven't got a chance with Nigel? I really think I'm making some progress- he seems to really like my taste in clothes, & he's even tried on a few of my things! R.C., San Francisco, CA'' |
Nonsense! There's no such thing as ''not having a chance'' with a man! You keep trying, & don't worry about Jeffrey- Just invite him to the wedding!| ''Dear Greenlee, It's working! It's working! After reading Chapter 9, ''Now, It's Time To Get Serious, Sister!'', I've given every cent I had to ''Harold'' (Not his real name) had ''No-strings'' sex with him, whenever he wanted, at his beck & call, cleaned his apartment, bathed his dog, and went to his office to do all his paperwork, while he took the day off, to go fishing- & I think he's noticed! Oh, Greenlee! How can I ever thank you? Today, after I polished his shoes, he actually said; ''Hey, nice job.'' I am so excited! Have to run, now- I'm off to the mall, to pick out our silver pattern! K.M., Chicago, ILL'' |
Ah, that's what I like to hear! Success is a wonderful thing, & it can be yours, too! To order GREENLEE'S GUIDE TO GETTIN' GUYS, send a stamped, self-addressed envelope, with your check for $19.99, payable to Greenlee Smythe, to:GET ME A GUY, GREENLEE!
c/o WRCW, 25 Locust Street
Pine Valley, PA 000001
Gotta go...I hear Ryan's shower running!
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