Dylan for president!  Young mastermind dominates family Picks in Galena

A 5-year-old boy wonder is being encouraged to run for our country's top office after a flash of brilliance on Sunday showed that his advanced mind is capable of solving the unknown.  He just might be the mastermind who could eliminate the U.S. budget deficit, rebuild Social Security, end world hunger, remove the Billy Goat Curse that was placed on the Chicago Cubs, and determine where missing socks go when they disappear from the dryer.

After all, Dylan did step forward with no experience in the Sunday Football Picks to totally dominate the largest group of participants in the league's 27-year history.  Among 22 family members and friends who gathered at WorldMark's Longhollow Point Inn in Galena, Dylan posted an incredible 12-1 record and was the only person with double-digit victories.  His only loss occurred when the favored Chargers downed the visiting Rams 38-24.  There was no competition for this young genius, who obviously can take on unique challenges and achieve unbelievable results.

"We're ready to endorse this young man as America's next president if he chooses to run," said an editorial board member of the New York Times.  "We know there were six upsets in the NFL on Sunday, and Dylan picked every one correctly.  That's the level of intelligence we desperately need in the leader of the free world."

Of course Dylan's age may hinder his campaign due to the 35-year-old requirement for a U.S. president, but laws are meant to be changed for the better, and such a proposal is currently on the table in the House of Representatives, a congressman reported.  Dylan's parents, though, believe their son's sudden popularity has come too quickly.

"I'd really like to see him finish kindergarten before trying to become the most powerful person on Earth," said Dylan's mom, Jess, who was only 7-6 in Sunday's Picks because of her devotion to the 49ers, who were obliterated by the unbeaten Bears (41-0 at halftime).  "In fact, his father and I might even want him to finish elementary school first."

The other big news that developed from Week 8 of the Sunday Football Picks was Blaine's predicament of having to eat his underpants after making a not-so-wise guarantee.  He had glanced at his wife's picks after breakfast on Sunday morning and called her selections "a disaster," and said, "I'll eat my underwear if you beat me this week."

Well, after a seesaw battle, it all came down to Blaine's defending Super Bowl champion Steelers needing to defeat QT's lowly Raiders to keep the dirty cotton out of Blaine's mouth.  But the 9-point underdog Raiders somehow prevailed 20-13, putting Blaine in a frightening position while QT couldn't stop laughing on the ride home from Galena.

"I'd really love to deliver on my promise, but my doctor is concerned about E. coli poisoning and major gastrointestinal problems if I actually consume my Hanes briefs," Blaine said.  "He has urged me to find another way to admit my boneheaded mistake."  QT finally settled for being treated to a fancy dinner instead, so there will be no urgent trips to the emergency room and no embarrassing explanations as to why Blaine's stomach is cramping.

QT's 9-4 record was tops among Picks members.  Mark was 8-5, Ali and Blaine were 7-6, Trevor was 6-7, and D.J. and Nicki were 5-8.

Outside of Dylan's great week, family and friends didn't perform so well in their first crack at the Sunday Football Picks.  They compiled an 84-98 record, but most don't have NFL insights.  From best to worst, the other results were 9-4 for Paul; 8-5 for Alexa, Rebecca and Ricky; 7-6 for Jess and Rob; 6-7 for Larry; 5-8 for John, Katie and Tom; and 4-9 for Christie, Kim, Mary Ann and Sam.  Looks like the kids have bragging rights over their parents.

Lucky for the Galena mob that excelling in the Sunday Football Picks isn't everything.  Larry took charge in poker by winning the biggest pot and taking second place in two others; John gave ping-pong competitors fits with nasty spin on the ball; Blaine and Mark developed the catch-the-football-off-the-roof game; Kim was a pool shark; Mary Ann kicked butt in Scrabble and discovered Happy Joe's Pizza and Ice Cream Parlor for a terrific dinner; Katie rounded up a group for a spooky ghost tour; QT organized two massive breakfasts; Rob was voted the loudest family member; and Nicki and Paul created the Superman tire swing ride at a Galena playground.