More Jokes aimed at The Piggery!
So-called 'Paradise' has been invaded by the phathom blue-nose seat installer
Two Ce%%ic fans are walking along the road, they pick up a mirror and Bhoy 1 says " I know that bloke"
Bhoy 2 picks it up after him and says " Of course you do you idiot it's me!"
Billy McNeill (Celtic) and John Greig (Rangers) were walking along the beach when they stumbled across a genie lamp. They rubbed the lamp.
The genie popped out and whispered "I am the football genie you may each have three wishes"
"Aw Yes man" claimes Billy. " I wish everyone in Glasgow was female"
"I'd like a superbike" says John.
Billy feeling superior announces "I wish everyone in Europe was female"
John then says " I'd like a new helmet for my bike"
Billy by this time thinks he's off his nut pipes up " I wish everyone in the WORLD was female".
John, with a slight snigger, says " I wish Billy is gay!"
Jennifer Aniston was walking along a sandy Baleric beach when she became startled. Two big-bosomed ladies around her age came waltzing down the street with a trail of guys following them. Then she found a genie bottle washed up on the coastline.
Poof! Out came a genie and granted her any two wishes she desired.
"Give me two of the biggest tits in the world" Jennifer moaned.
Poof! Poof! Immeadiately they appeared before her, the two big tits she wanted.....Chris Sutton and Henrick Larsson
Martin O'Neill planned to meet his new girlfriend outside the picture house at 7pm. At 9pm there was no sign of her, so he went home fuming. He decide to phone her up.
" What the fuck are you dain'? I waited two hours in the pishin' rain for you!"
She replied " Sorry Martin were finished"
"Why?" asked Martin.
"One of my friends said you're a peadophile!" she shouted back.
"A Peadophile?" cried O'Neill "that's an awfy big word for a seven year old!"
The seven dwarves are down the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them.
In the distance she hears "Ce%%ic are good enough to win the league this season"
Snow White sighes "Well at least Dopey's alive!"
Q: What do you call two Ce%%ic fans going over the edge of a cliff in a Renault Espace?
A: A Bloody waste of space.....you can fit eight in one of those bastards!
Earlier today Martin O'Neill was stopped for speeding. " I'll do anything for three points" he replied.
Dick Advocaat and Martin O'Neill walk into a brothel.
Martin asks " How much is it for a wank?"
Dick then asks " How much is it if you are not a wank?"
Q: What's the difference between a busload of Ce%%ic fans and a Hedgehog?
A: On a Hedgehog the pricks are on the outside.
Tom Boyd finds a machine at the airport on his way home from holidays. He puts money in the machine and out pops a can. He carries on until a guy in the queue says " Haven't you had enough mate?"
Boyd replies "Shut up! Can't you see i'm winning!"
Ally McCoist and Jorg Albertz were walking through the graveyard when they glanced at a tombstone that read:
"Here lies John O'Brien, a good man and a Ce%%ic Fan"
Ally looking puzzled said "When did they start putting two people in one grave?"
Q: What is the difference between a broomstick puuter and Ce%%ic FC?
A: One is a useless wanky club no-one likes and the other is used to play golf.
Feel free to pollute me with your hate-mail
[email protected]
Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

1