Rebekah 201: Useless Stuff
Photographs
Roy: February (II) 2005
Song: Whiskey Lullaby - Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss
Happy birthday, Daddy.
3/23/05
Song: Here With Me - Mercyme
It's pretty outside today. Too bad I can't think of anything to do out there. I already got the mail. Good news, I get my car back today and someone else is going to do my taxes. However, my checkbook is way out of balance. Eh, you can't have everything...but you can try.
3/21/05
Song: Give A Little Bit - Goo Goo Dolls
Bank statement day. Take the time to appreciate the poor people that have to fold and sort bank statements. And have your account number ready when you call. Really. Yeah, it's the first day of Spring Break. Can't you tell? I also have to do my taxes this week. Lots of fun. Now all that's missing is balancing my checkbook. O wait...I've got to do that too. The responsibilities of a job...to think I wanted this. Will I really enjoy anything I want if I get it?
3/18/05
Song: If I Were A Rich Man - Fiddler on the Roof
Gwen Stefani redoing a song from a musical...Unheard of! The saddest part is that a lot of people haven't seen Fiddler on the Roof. What a classic. Anyhoo, I stayed up too late again. This time I don't regret it, though. I had a clear purpose, unlike most times. I think I'm starting to learn to differentiate. I wish I had learned this sooner. Like maybe back when I was seven.
3/17/05
Song: My Pretty Irish Boy
I've noticed a transfer of my behavior towards people. My openness toward one particular person has been leaking out to people I don't necessarily feel close to. I don't know, I don't really like that. However, it does seem like I've got more friends now. Even if they (rightfully) accuse me of being a nerd. =-P
3/16/05
Song: Grace Like Rain
Yay for CLEP tests. Computer science is a stupid class anyway. I went to bed before ten last night. Talk about a major change. I woke up before six, though. I did get my practice room back. I just got there insanely early. I've accepted that my 4.0 will be gone in May. O well. It was fun while it lasted. All good things come to an end. Usually sooner than later.
3/15/05
Song: ....
I am alone.
3/14/05
Song: From My First Moment - Satie
I did not sleep well last night. In my first dream, I was in a convenience store and witnessed a robbery. They proceeded to take me hostage and rob me. In my second dream I was late for the concert and I wasn't ready to go on stage when it was my turn. In my third dream my dad was rearranging the house and I couldn't remember how to get to my room. By the time I woke up, I was tired. 3:20pm. I was inducted to a freshman honor society last year. You're suppose to be able to join and forget about it, so I wasn't expecting to have to attend this year's ceremony. But I got a call today from the head of the society and he said he wanted me to come to give me an award. He mentioned an S with two lines through it...Money. Again. Always money. I now have to ask the question: why are all these good things happening to me? I'm thankful for it, but still I wonder: Why?
3/12/05
Song: We Like to Party - Vengaboys
This is weird. A reporter is gathering information about me. I may soon have my own newspaper article. For what? For being from the right place. Otherwise they wouldn't care. I have a bad feeling that all of this is going to go to my head. Perhaps it already has. I must now think self-degrading thoughts so it doesn't. It's not mentally healthy, but it works.
3/10/05
Song: What I Like About You - The Romantics
You know what bothers me? When people type 'u' for you. I don't know why. It just really annoys me. It sounds the same when spoken, but I don't like it. It looks unintelligent, I guess. It doesn't bother me when other words are shortened, just "you." I wonder if perhaps I associate it with stress and torture. That is very possible. Don't ask.
3/8/05
Song: Per Te - Josh Groban
Guy #1 is still around. I'm surprised. Well, I can't say that I'm ignored anymore. As long as he doesn't start stalking me or anything, I can tolerate it. Guy #2 seems to be picking on me more. Don't know what to think of that, but I don't mind. And Guy #3 is being unpredictable for once. All of a sudden my life has gotten a lot more interesting.
3/7/05
Song: Hear Me - Kelly Clarkson
I thought my new-found logical "feelings" would free my mind up some. I think it made it worse. Standing back and watching myself tonight, I can see that I was flirting. I am not a flirt, and it disgusts me. It's so pathetic. That wasn't me. At least I hope it wasn't. I'm so angry/disappointed with myself.
3/6/05
Song: Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson
I have a new word for you: censorship. The resurrected word is confusion. Yes, confusion. It has taken over my system. I thought I had everything sorted out. But no. It appears that my logic has finally taken over my emotions. Yes, you read right: logic. This is so backwards. Now I have to go and sort everything out again.
3/5/05
Song: Bali Ha'i
I think I'm finally getting some calluses. That guitar is killing my hand. The action is too high. I'm so tired. I've been working all day. I guess I should go work off my sleep debt. The fact that I've been taking caffeine to stay awake is a pretty good indication that I need some sleep. I also need to buy some earplugs for emergencies. Stupid alarm clocks. Always waking people up.
3/4/05
Song: Fire and Rain - James Taylor
Last night/this morning has been one of the more interesting ones in my life. Last night (2 hours ago) I stayed up longer than I wanted to spend time with someone that I'm not even sure is worth investing in. This morning I stayed up talking to someone that I know is worth investing in. Two times in my life have I actually had people tell me meaningfully that they trust me. The first one betrayed me...that was a bad and a drawn out experience. The second one...I have yet to see how that goes, although I don't think he would betray me. I just imagine that eventually we'll drift and go our separate ways, although I'd hate to lose that friendship. Mutual trust and friendship is rare in my life, and I like to keep it when I find it.