Difficult
People
I
One of the most difficult people I have ever encountered was a cute, petite, perky blond. She beguiled people with flattery - students, teachers, administrators, and board members. Everyone thought she was wonderful. When I first met her, I was taken in by all of her charm, as well. What no one seemed to recognize, myself included, was this was her way to control people and ultimately control situations. It worked well for her. She got her way. I probably could have remained content to let her do her thing, just like everyone else. She especially liked being the most popular teacher. She taught music while I taught math and science and I probably didn’t pose much of a threat to her, initially. However, without even being aware of it, she became very intimidated by me. As time went on, my students realized that they would have to really put forth effort in my classes. Some students resented that, but most of them were challenged by it. When they saw their own achievement, they felt a great sense of personal pride. I gained a reputation for being a tough teacher, but I also gained the admiration of my students for being able to teach. The blond didn’t like that. Her style was very relaxed and some might say “chaotic”. She began to undermine me to my students, but what was worse; she lied about me to administration and board members. It finally became necessary to confront her. Personal, one-on-one confrontation was disastrous and led to a flurry of more lies. I finally arranged for a confrontation between her and myself with our husbands present (this was a small private school and very much a family affair!) and a board member acting as mediator. Everything seemed to go very well. She was caught in her lies, confessed, and agreed to work with integrity from that point on.
Was this a happy ending to a difficult situation? Not at all! She left that meeting and went home and called other board members. She not only lied about me, she lied about the board member mediator. Needless to say, she did not come back the next year.
I was hired by Glen Oaks Community College to teach a general chemistry course for dual enrollment students at one of the high schools in their district. The high school and college had formed a partnership that involved offering courses for college credit on the campus of the high school. Students didn’t even have to leave their school to earn the credit. I thought this was an incredible opportunity for the students and I was excited to be involved. However, I did not consider the impact this partnership had on the teachers at the high school. Teachers with seniority lost their advanced placement classes (the most motivated students) to the college courses. To fill their schedules, they had to teach lower level classes with students who were immature and less motivated. They were not eligible to teach the college courses because they were employees of the high school during the time the courses were offered. This created a lot of bitterness in the high school teachers. Even though they had nothing against me personally, or the others teaching the college courses, they had a difficult time accepting our presence in their school.
I was not the first person to take the job of teaching the chemistry class. An older gentleman, who had far more credentials then I will ever earn in a lifetime, taught during the first semester. He decided to call it quits. I was hired second semester. The night before I was to begin this job, I received a phone call from the high school chemistry teacher. He let me know, in no uncertain terms, that he was not happy about the situation. He told me know how unfair this was and that all of the teachers were angry about it. He wanted to know what my credentials were. He instructed me that I was not to rearrange his room and I would have to check with him before I planned a lab, since it might interfere with his plans. I had never met this man and I wasn’t sure I wanted to, at that point. No one had told me there were any problems, at all.
I phoned the dean of students that evening and told him about my phone call. He pleaded with me to come the next day and assured me he would be there to greet me and introduce me to my classroom. What he didn’t tell me was that he planned to call the principal of the high school and the two of them would be meeting with the high school chemistry teacher while I conducted my class. This teacher was warned not to have any contact with me. You can imagine the climate of the teacher’s lounge whenever I walked in. Eventually, I was accepted with cold indifference.
Meanwhile, the high school teacher employed other strategies. He could never quite get his things out before my class was to begin. He always hung around chitchatting with the kids. I finally realized that he was alerting my students when I had quizzes scheduled. He would see me copying before class began and scoot up and tell them. Because of the previous history I had with him, and because the entire dual-enrollment program might be in jeopardy, the only way I could deal with him was to rat on him to my dean. He would then contact the principal who would deal with the teacher. This is not how I typically deal with problems, but this is how I was told to deal with problems I had with him.
I was uncomfortable with the way things were dealt with. I believe that if you have problems with a person, the right thing to do is to confront that person, alone, before you do anything else. It’s much better to keep it between two people if possible. When you go beyond that, it’s inevitable that more people will know. Eventually students will find out, too, and it forces them to take sides in a situation they know nothing about. Ultimately, the whole situation undermines the professional character of the people involved.
I eventually was able to establish a good working relationship with this man. He finally accepted that I was not the enemy and that I could actually be a good source for collaboration. I’m not sure how long he’ll stay at his job, though. He continues to resent the administration. His way of dealing with it is to be a sniper, but I know for a fact that administration is on to him!