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| Hey Chris, | ||||||||||||
| I'm sorry for calling you a self-centered pig, seems like I'm guilty of wallowing around in the mud too. �So pig, this is hog, you're all pink 'n dirty. | ||||||||||||
| I guess we'll have to learn Oink. | ||||||||||||
| I know you gots a birthday comin up soon (I think it's the 23rd, but it could be the 27th, who knows girl? When it comes to having nature push you up another notch in the 30's I guess it's forgivable to be a little vague, huh? That's right darlin; let it out, sugar!) | ||||||||||||
| I'm fine, been saddled up to the trough at my dear mother's home. Sober for almost two weeks and speaking of hogs, I seem to have found about 15 of those pounds that I lost... (Sigh) tis the price we pay for this whole sleeping and eating bullshit. | ||||||||||||
| Jenny Crack!!! Why have thou forsaken me?!? | ||||||||||||
| Just kidding, I feel fucking fabulous. Better than I've felt in a long time, who'd have thought that all the rat-bastard bitch-whore mother-fucking dickwad shitbomb fuckbuckets who told me to take a break would be RIGHT? (I'm not bitter about it, I love being proven wrong, it doesn't fucking bother me one ass-chapping bit at all!) | ||||||||||||
| For real though, I don't miss Ms. Tina or her sharp little friends too much at all. (My mother was proud of my phlebotomy skills, she said I have hardly ANY nerve damage, and how much blood flow do fingers need anyway? If they don't like it, they can leave, right?) | ||||||||||||
| Finally starting taxi class in the morning (I've been catching up on sleep and grazing), and hope to be out of mommy's house in another two weeks. I love the old bat, but she's UP MY ASS ALL THE FUCKING TIME, IT'S LIKE BEING AT YOUR APARTMENT, I CAN'T EVEN SHIT WITHOUT EVERYBODY KNOWING IT, I ALMOST NEED A HALL PASS...bless her nosey heart. | ||||||||||||
| The funny thing about it is,she's got pernts all over the damn house. Ironic that she's been an insulin dependent diabetic all this time. WE COULD HAVE FORGONE FAIRMONT PHARMACY COMPLETELY!!! | ||||||||||||
| I can see the sign on her door "Mom's Old Fashioned Dart Shoppe...Get Stabbed by Someone Who Cares!!" | ||||||||||||
| I almost forgot to tell you that she brought my kitty down from Nebraska with her, and he's the spitting image of Breakfast (the resemblance is eerie), except his head's not all fried out, no yellow spots on his wig!! Shock therapy... (Just kidding, I want to name him "Brunch" but wanted to get your blessing) | ||||||||||||
| ;I met my sister's baby, and he looks JUST LIKE ME... (No Louisiana jokes, I'll punch your lights out). Remember any particular 'eat shit' looks that I would throw? He's already got all of them mastered! He gave me one today over an incident which involved removing his apple-juice bottle from his car seat without permission....the circle of life, girl....ain't it something? | ||||||||||||
| How's life over there at the clothing optional critter farm? Is Doug being particularly nosey? Tell him the market on free range trolls is bottoming out, and that he needs to shift markets, tell him pot crops are always steady, and that a conservative approach is always the best business strategy!! | ||||||||||||
| It's a little late in the email to ask you if you're speaking to me anymore, but I know you sister, you couldn't resist reading it so I put the question way down here. | ||||||||||||
| HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I'd have gotten you a gift, but as usual, I'm broke. So go out and buy yourself something pretty, on me (oh, can you put it on my tab?) | ||||||||||||
| Kenny | ||||||||||||