[in no particular order]
name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished
2. 'A' is for Academics, 'B' is for beer, one those reasons is why we're
not here, so leave a message
3. Hi, this is John, if you are the phone company I already sent the money,
if you are my parents please send the money,
if you are my financial aid institution you didnt send me enough money,
if you are my friend you owe me money,
if you are a female...dont worry I have plenty of money
4. Hi, now YOU say something
5. Hi, I'm not home right now, but my answering machine is,
so why dont you talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.
6. Hello, I am Davids answering what are you?
7. Hello? [wait 3 secs] Hellllllllllllllllloooooooo?? [wait 2 secs] I can't hear you. o well. [they wil most likely figure you hung up on them]
8. Hi! Johns answering machine is broken. This is his refridgerator....Please speak
very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets
9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of recieving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean.
They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken
or yet another credit card. If you're still with me, leave your name
and number and they will get back to you
10. Hello, this is not an answering machine- This is a telepathic
thought-reading device. Think about your name, number and the
reason you called... and I'll think about calling you back
11. Hi. I'm probably home avoiding someone I don't like.
Leave me a message, and if I dont call back...ITS YOU!!!
12. Hi, this is George. I can't come to the phone right now.
Leave a message and wait by the phone until call you back
13. If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our
weapons right now and cant come to the phone. Otherwise, we're probably not home and its safe to leave a message
14. Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent
Everything you say will be recorded and used by us.
15. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't come to the phone right now
because we are doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it
up and down, whereas I like to do it left to right.......very slowly.
So leave a message and when we're done brushing our teeth
we'll return your call.