April 26, 2006
Need to pack for Buffalo. Need to pack for Waterloo. Need to pack up from Mississauga. Need to empty my room and move into my other room an hour away. Need to finish my CWS report. Need to figure what to do after my BA. Need to watch Supernatural tomorrow (hmm... need?). Need to see what my role in PDL is. Need to see what involvement I should have at CCF. Need to figure out if I can help out in JOY from May to July. Need to deal with all the thoughts in my head.

Need to eat dinner, then go to the Fairwind school concert. I miss those days.

SONG OF THE MOMENT

Feel, feel the wounds
Hold my hands cradling all the souls
And wait, wait for peace
As my love makes its way shattering

My heart it hurts
Cause it never catches its breath
I'm still staying when I should have left
Come to where the waters meet the shore
I'll be there
And I will stay, leaving you

(Stay) Listen to
All my dreams, love that lasts, pain that heals
And take, take your time
But move so fast, �cause hearts move on
And this is real

This time it means something
Dreams will fall, love will spill

"Divinity," Falling Up (from Crashings)
I think I like loud rock because it can describe things in the forceful nature that I cannot. Gives me a reason to scream.

April 22, 2006
It never ceases to amaze me how I can go from reading the Bible and getting riled up about certain spiritual issues to reading unedifying articles about actors and TV shows and get riled up about nothing in a matter of hours. There's always some sort of disconnect that I feel, like I'm two separate persons when situations like this happen. But then I'm reminded that God is the God of the shallow and the profound (although it's hard to imagine how I could sanctify something like reading angst and violence ridden fanfic... probably because it's not sanctify-able!), and that He's not serious all the time. I'd love to strike a balance sometime.

In other news, I've just killed 183 pages worth of trees... sorta. I guess the trees were already dead, but anyway, all the course notes for next term's DE courses have been printed. Everything looks interesting, at least at first glance. Topics, not in any real order, include Luke, Easter, Scientology, uncertainty in relationships, Unification Church, dealing with negativity, and the kingdom of God. Exciting times ahead for my brain. Yay.

Oh yeah, I finished work yesterday. It's one place I wouldn't be all too unhappy returning to Monday morning. If I got paid, I'd be even happier. Anyway, the experience I got was awesome. I'm getting more comfortable with bearing bad news to people, which is something us social service types have to deal with. Oh, and I scored a nice Japanese lunch with the boss. Nice.

Need to start packing for Waterloo again. I'd frankly rather not. I'm gonna miss all the good times (and of course, all the food!) at JOY. *sigh*

April 19, 2006
"This week the trend was to not wake up until 3pm..." - Relient K
Sounds like what I'll be doing next week!

It's a little hard to believe that work will be over by the end of the week. There's only 2 days left to go! Then it's back to Waterloo...

Went and had some yummy Sri Lankan food today with Nancy and Anne. Nancy gave me some fish balls and mutton roll last week. I especially enjoyed the mutton roll, so they took me there today so I know how to order food next time. Did you know that Africans eat some of the same foods as Chinese people? Both Nancy and Anne found some food items they missed from home at Chinese supermarkets, like white corn and something that had the colour of my top today. Go figure!

Also, I did a telephone survey today (hey, after you get a telemarketing job, you can't help but sympathize). At the end of the conversation, he asked me how the weather was. I said it was beautiful and sunny, and I asked if he had a window. He said he did, and that he wasn't in the province. The guy was calling all the way from Moncton, New Brunswick! I guess for these surveys (about the health care system and Dalton McGuity), the best thing to do is to outsource it so the survey guy doesn't really know what's going on. Interesting.

Alright, gotta go make some cards for work now. Later!

April 17, 2006
Yes, folks. Lent is over for the year. Don't feel much wiser for it, though. Again, I'm just reminded of my fallenness, which makes Jesus' death and resurrection that much more wonderful. Sounds a little more emotionally-laden than I feel, but hey, God gave me an intellect to appreciate this fact not just emotionally.

*Happy news!* One of the members of Alpha last term has accepted Christ (during the Easter season, no less)!!! It's good to hear that God has culminated all his life events to this point, and it'll be exciting to see where he's headed in the future. *squeal of contentment* :oD God is awesome!

Oh yeah, I was watching a documentary on Canadian music last night on The Passionate Eye, and man, I really gotta listen to these classics (i.e. Joni Mitchell, Leonard Cohen, Neil Young... the closest I enjoy it Simon and Garfunkel, which isn't even Canadian). It seems to me that music of that time was much more socially conscious than the superficial and self-indulgent topics that are rife in today's music. Music today just seems so out of a cookie-cutter or something. Not much originality. Always the same few shallow topics. As an aspiring songwriter, I would love to be able to produce a marriage between poetry and tune half as beautiful as the ones from the 60's. Anyway, I think my songs will be confined to my house and a few close friends. At least for now. Until I hone my craft, which at this point, doesn't seem like will happen to the level of greatness of times past.

Now, a few random things of note that is really just of interest for me:
� In Hawk Nelson's video for "California," I'm pretty sure it's Trevor McNevan from Thousand Foot Krutch/FM Static driving the getaway car. That gave me a good laugh.
� Kutless' video for "Shut Me Out" is pretty cool, I think. I love how Jon-Micah gets taken away at the end (presumably with the rest of the band...), but the kid saves the day! Suddenly reminds me about how pioneering missionaries often don't see the fruit of their work - like Jim Elliot, who was killed on the field.
� I also watched the Falling Up video for "Moonlit." Wish I could see it on a bigger screen. Want to see the play of colours throughout the video - looks like a cool concept from the little puny WMV screen, but too blurry.
� Oo! Oo! Mae has a redesigned website, complete with video diaries! Wish I could see the pellet gun battle - such boys. :oP

Anyway... music freakazoid will now sign off and attempt writing a one-page response for Perspectives.

Edit: In fear of sounding like a music snob, I would like to say that I do enjoy a nice rock number, even if it contains clich�d lyrics and sound. :oP Hey, D, A, G, Em is all you need, right?

April 14, 2006 - Good Friday
Lent is wrapping up this weekend. This year's Lent wasn't as "good" as last year's, for myself. Doing Lent doesn't mean spiritual improvement, I guess. But it does remind me about my fallenness more. Anyway, I read about a family who gave up wealth for Lent. Read about it here.

I had a discussion with my family about poverty when we were talking about the article. I started talking about the clients I see at work - like the lady that didn't have money for transportation at all (so she essentially couldn't get to work), the man who couldn't get a job because he was overqualified, and the government system for assisting people with disabilities that is in bad need of getting restructured. They were rather shocked and didn't believe the stories that I told them. "Can't the lady borrow money for busing?" "Not really. She had already asked for too much money on other occasions from friends." "But why not?" "She just couldn't anymore." Think about it: what if a friend kept asking you for $20 every week? Or if you had to ask your friend for $20 every week? How would that make you feel?

Poverty is so demeaning. And the rest of us are so oblivious to this condition. I've had people I work with (e.g. the people I am trying to "help") tell me that I am demeaning them. And you know what? I am. Not because I want to, but because the social system is set up in the way that makes it okay to trample on the already down-trodden. There's no sense in that. It takes a lot more to live poor. You really have to give up your pride and your self-worth, if you want to continue to live.

I try my best not to damage people's dignity even more at work. It's tough, especially when social welfare programs force you to divulge every detail of your life before you can get some help. There's always a sad suspicion of fraud that you have to deal with, at least in the back of your mind. I deal with lots of frustrated, humiliated people, and I long for them not to be frustrated or humiliated anymore, but what can one person do?

Anyway, poverty is a terrible disease. It kills more people than cancer or heart disease, but we do nearly nothing about it (in fact, the government is choosing to make it worse). Human beings are such selfish creatures.

I wish every well-off person could give up wealth for at least a month so that we will all see at least a glimpse of a life lived in poverty.

Is not this the fast that I choose:
to loose the bonds of injustice
to undo the thongs of the yoke,
to let the opporseed go free, and to break every yoke?
Is it not to share your bread with the hungry,
and bring the homeless poor into your house;
when you see the naked, to cover them
and not to hide yourself from your own kin?

Then your light shall break forth like the dawn,
and your healing shall spring up quickly;
your vindicator shall go before you,
the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer;
you shall cry for help, and he will say, Here I am."

Isaiah 58:6-9

April 10, 2006
I blasted my new Falling Up CD last night. Sweeeet. Hard(-ish) rock a) calms the nerves, b) wakes me up, c) makes me happy. I really like the instrumentation in Crashings. Not as much piano as Dawn Escapes, that's okay. The guitars are awesome in Crashings. Oh man, last week of Lent. Music's just around the corner.

Anyway, the CWS Scholarship informed me of the exact amount I'm gonna be getting for next term. All in all, I get to pocket about $250. Not quite the amount of rent, but sweet anyway. Actually, after opting out of the dental and health plans, that would be another $100 in pocket. Sounds nice.

Alright, the phone calls. Gotta go.

April 5, 2006
I tell you, things I'm hearing lately are just linking up so well with each other. I think God is telling me something. A short chronology is in order:

The Night Commuters in Uganda: Kids in Northern Uganda flee their homes nightly so they would not be kidnapped by people looking to fill up the ranks of rebels in the area (rebels unfortunately called the Lord's Resistance Army). They end up in schools, hospitals, and shelters to spend the night on cold hard floors. What a dreadful life. Learn more at guluwalk.com.

The Glory Place: In short, racism sucks, but needs to be abolished. Striving to overcome barriers will take a lot out of you. Also, you may not see your work to fruition, but trust God will carry it through.

"The Call to Seek Justice" Seminar: There are a lot of injustices in the world. Girls forced into the sex industry. People jailed and enslaved wrongfully. Street kids being abused by police officers. Crazy, everyday stuff the media keeps pretty much obscure most of the time. I feel a need to do something. Read more at International Justice Missions.

Winter Warmth Fund: I've been at it all term. There are clients whose situations continue to tug my heart strings. This fuels my desire to work with the urban poor, for sure.

"Holy Ambition/Discontent" Bible study at JOY: I think mine is currently the broad category of social justice issues, maybe with a focus on the urban poor (for now). I rant on about all the crazy stuff I've encountered at the end of the Bible study. Of course, ranting is useless without action.

Musical worship: discussions with a friend, Lent, and Perspectives: A friend encouraged me to do worship at CCF. Somewhat later, I was asked to do worship at Perspectives. The immediate reaction is always, "heck, no!" So it dawned on me that I still am rather selfish in that I keep music to myself, for myself. So-called "bad" musical worship experiences is a poor excuse for not serving God in the musical capacity. The short of it is that I still have lots of ugly things inside for God to fix up.

Eras of Missions - Perspectives: Looks like my passions are in line with the "fourth era of missions" - work with the "forgotten people," including refugees, urban poor, HIV/AIDS victims, child prostitution, etc. etc. It's an affirmation for me, that I'm headed in the right direction. Exciting!

That's about it. So in summary, the life work I want to embark on looks in line with God's big picture plans, there are still plenty of things to fix in me, and there may be a chance that I will not see the work I am to do in my life come to fruition.

Things definitely to at least ponder and pray about as I get closer to finishing my undergrad...

April 2, 2006
Oh my goodness. "Jacksonfive" has got to be one of the sweetest collaboration tracks in Christian rock. Headed by Falling Up, it features a dude named Benjamin J., Paul Wright, Jon Micah from Kutless, and Ryan from Demon Hunter. I love how you can hear the flavour of each artist as they do their bit on the track. Pure sweetness. I love it!

Thanks to Elliot for the Falling Up and Kutless CDs. I'll have to make that one up to you sometime! Both CDs are awesome - well worth the money spent!

Gotta love Sundays during Lent. :o)

April 1, 2006
Daylight savings starts this weekend! Remember to set your clocks back and lose one hour!

Last weekend was kind of intense, in a good way. Marianne invited me to a reading of The Glory Place by Dennis Hassell. It's essentially a play about how Habitat for Humanity was started, although that really takes a back seat in terms of the plot. It's more about racial relations, persecution, and doing what God has called us to. I must say when I realized it was going to be a reading of the play instead of it being acted, I felt rather cultured. Anyway, who knew that a simple reading of the play would be so powerful? Hassell's writing was just superb, and the acting blew me away. If you closed your eyes, you wouldn't even know that there was no set. Anyway, that's a rather vague description of the play, but I highly recommend you to go watch it if it ever becomes produced.

Saturday was MissionFest day. The seminar that had the biggest impression on me was the one put on by International Justice Missions. The speaker Jamie spoke about children in brothels, bonded slavery, unjustified imprisonment, street children abuse, and how a group of lawyers, judges, police officers, and others worked toward freeing these people. Their work continues today. Definitely give their site a look, and keep them in your prayers. I also hit all the booths of seminaries I am considering attending, and I have a better idea of the applications process, and where I'd like to go as well. It's too bad that my impressions of schools hinges on one encounter with a school rep. But you gotta go with what you've got.

Saturday night was the church anniversary. I'm glad that people laughed at the intended parts in the JOY/LIFE video. *phew* Ahh, video making. So fun!

That's the last time life had a bit of novelty in it. :oP

Actually, small group unexpectedly ended on Wednesday, when we decided to plow through the last 3 chapters of Daniel because they linked together. So that's the end of the Daniel studies. So there'll be no more small group this term, in terms of studying His Word. It's been fun hanging with the girls every Wednesday night. Wish I could do that in the summer.

Work is slowing. I am looking forward to leaving work, but not really going back to school. Six courses will be the next challenge. Well, seven, in the month of May. Perspectives is pretty demanding!

Anyway, I'll leave it at that.