July 30, 2004
Another short one: my internet is back up! Yay! I hope it actually lasts... :oP Anyway, had a lovely dinner with the CCF girls tonight at Grand China. Nessie and I opted out of CCF tonight and went back home for some good ol' fashioned studying (not without a short trip to William's for waffles... heh, heh). I did manage to read all of my SCI 263 material, so hurray to that!

Well, back to exams... 4 in the span of 3 days! Not so good... before you go, read the short review for Pillar's newest.

July 27, 2004
Just a brief update... I've been using Nessie's computer for the past hour because my internet doesn't work. :o( But I guess that's a good thing because I can focus on studying for my exams that are coming up TOO soon. Anyway... just a few happenings as of late:

• Marianne and I are officially living in UW Place (yes, back in rez!) in the winter term... as the lead singer of Copeland said once, I'm so stoked! (indeed... I'm not cool enough to use this term as of yet)
• Jasmine made a surprise visit tonight and we went out for bubble tea... thanks for visiting and treating me to BBT! So happy to see you finally!!!
• Still studying for exams... 4 in 4 days... will be interesting

That's all I can remember for now. I shall get going. Before I go... some lyrics from Pillar's newest. Thanks for lending it, Elliot! We should do some more swappings in the winter. :o)

SONG OF THE MOMENT

It's been far too long, we've known all along
This was going on, can't seem to respond to anything, so, we carry on
With our lives, we rewind, we can't find, we deny
The simple fact that we haven't done anything
Doesn't mean that we can't start offering
Why do we feel so far? It's like we've seeing stars
Why does it seem so hard to wake up now and see who we really are?

So, let go
Don't follow

Where do we go from here?
How did it disappear?
It's hard to see with our own eyes
These times (these lies)
We've been hypnotized

I think it's time we try to open up our eyes
Look away from the very thing that made us cry
We're hypnotized, and you'll see the real me
Luckily, it can't be stopped
If the tick-tock of life isn't all that you got
So, come ready or not
Wake up, it's your last shot

So, come to
And redo

Wake up now, wake up now
So, wake up now, wake up now
So, wake up now
It's been far too long
How can we not go wrong?
Now, it's been far too long
How can we not go wrong again?

"Hypnotized", Pillar (from Where Do We Go From Here)
One rockin' melodic hardcore album with tonnes of spirituality. Thanks again, Elliot!

July 20, 2004
HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY, MICHELLE!!! I hope you had a wonderful birthday. :o)

Looks like my home church is going under some major trials right now, with 4 resignations of leadership within a short time span while struggling under the renovation and expansion project. I have to admit that it's hard to feel anything about this revelation, being so far removed from that sphere. At the moment, I'm adopting Becca's optimist approach - our church is going through a period of growing pains, and God is taking us in a brand new, unknown direction. As I told her, it parallels the work God is doing in my life, and at this particular moment, I have a sunny outlook to where God is taking me as well. It's definitely painful and at times tearful as God sands away the imperfections and unnecessary elements, but I hang on to the hope that He will make things perfect in His time. As the song we sang in CFC on Sunday declared, He will be faithful to complete what He began in you. I never thought of it like that, and it's a refreshing outlook.

Another interesting thing that the speaker Rob Gast said was that life is often preceeded by death. I suppose our church needs to experience a little death before we can live an even fuller life in God. I recommend Rob's sermon if you want to hear more about fragile dreams (click and scroll down for Fragile Dreams by Rob Gast on July 18, 2004).

Well, enough procrastination. Back to my last social work paper! Take care, and please do pray for my church as we go through this difficult time.

SONG OF THE MOMENT

And the pain falls like a curtain
On the things I once called certain
And I have to say the words I fear the most
I just don�t know

And the questions without answers
Come and paralyse the dancer
So I stand here on the stage afraid to move
Afraid to fall, oh, but fall I must
On this truth that my life has been formed from the dust

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He�s painting
God is God and I am man
So I�ll never understand it all
For only God is God

And the sky begins to thunder
And I�m filled with awe and wonder
�Til the only burning question that remains
Is who am I

Can I form a single mountain?
Take the stars in hand and count them?
Can I even take a breath without God giving it to me?
He is first and last before all that has been
Beyond all that will pass

Oh, how great are the riches of His wisdom and knowledge
How unsearchable for to Him and through Him and from Him are all things

So let us worship before the throne
Of the One who is worthy of worship alone

"God Is God", Steven Curtis Chapman (from Declaration)
After reading Cecilia's blog, I sent her the lyrics to this song. I think SCC captures the fact that we are human and will never understand how God works. I found this song quite uplifting while grappling with why God would bring us to uncomfortable places and allow us to wallow in our discomfort and uncertainty. The fact is that we just won't know why He does it, but we DO know that He does it because He loves us.

July 18, 2004
THANK YOU DAWN FOR BRUNCH!!! Sneaky, sneaky... paying for our meals AND treating us to surprise milkshakes. Needless to say, I've been fattened up good. You're good, Dawn. Real good. :o) Thank you again. Even the waitress said what a great friend you are. Now I can add walking out of a restaurant without paying to my list of crazy/rebellious activities. :oD

Oh, the perpetual sleepiness! I think I'm in sleep debt after having a) slept a total of 8 hours during retreat last weekend and b) having slept a total of 10 hours this weekend due to two sleepovers. Some may roll their eyes at the fact that Victoria isn't experiencing TRUE sleep debt; alas, I am one of those who needs my 8 hours or else types. Nonetheless, this weekend was still quite enjoyable. :o)

So, a bunch of CCF girls went over to Marianne's house for a sleepover after CCF. It was fun. :o) We played bonkers, watched Down With Love, pigged out on junk food (mmm... soft, chewy, chocolate chip cookies), and chatted about life. I also got to play with Opal, the cat who acts like a dog, ie. very friendly. I think that was the most I've interacted with an animal (and it wasn't much!). It's too bad I'm allergic to cats, as I found out there! Anyway, when we got up in the morning, we discovered Calla's car stuffed completely (to the roof, under the seats, all the works!) with crumpled paper. Took 7 girls about 20 minutes to clear it out. Still have yet to figure out exactly who the culprits are!

I spent Saturday night with Agnes in the attic because Michelle came over with a few people to celebrate her birthday. Partying and booze abound, and I didn't want to wake anyone up with my early morning going to church commotion. After church at CFC (on dreams... very interesting), Agnes, Dawn, Marianne, Noella and I went to Mel's for $3.49 breakfast. I was tempted to have baked beans instead of sausage, but I gave in for no apparent reason. Dawn left early, and after stuffing ourselves with our food, the waitress comes over and says that Dawn had already paid the bill AND she added milkshakes to the order! I got a chocolate one, and forced it down. Should've gotten a cup to take it home! Then I would've been able to savour it. Mmm... thanks again Dawn! You're the best!!!

Well, I've procrastinated for an hour now. Gotta get back to my last SOCWK assignment! Take care, and have a wonderful week, everyone. :o)

SONG OF THE MOMENT

I lift you high and bow down low
How high can you be?
How low can I go?

I lift you high and bow down low
How high can you be?
How low can I go?

You must increase
I must decrease, Lord
I'll bow down and you will be adored

"You Must Increase", Matt Redman (from The Father's Song)
Beautiful and simple song about how God HAS TO INCREASE in my life, and I must decrease to allow Him. My prayer and anthem of late.

July 13, 2004
GeoCities is being a little bit screwy lately. I wonder what's happening? Anyway, this past weekend was the JOY retreat. The theme as "Uncomfortable? ... get used to it!" I think it rang true in many aspects - I sure had my share of discomfort. Needless to say, I learned lessons from God which were invaluable. Like being a little more flexible with the way I conduct activities.

Anyway, I know it seems a bit skimpy, but I really can't think of anything else to say about retreat. Might be the heat that's shutting my brain off. Or my "low" iron level. I was going to give blood today, but I was one point of the cut-off point - I "scored" a 124, while 125 was needed to donate. My first rejection from the blood donor clinic! I really should look into eating foods with more iron - could relieve the sleepiness, and make a little healthier too.

Well, that's all for now. Less than a month before second year is over! Take care...

July 4, 2004
First off, happy Independence Day to all you Americans! And happy belated Canada day to all Canadians. Happy 137th!

I had quite a wonderful weekend. Praise God for the awesome weather! On the 1st, Becca and Ceci came up and we spent the afternoon at the St. Jacob's Farmers Market observing Becca buying lots of stuff, gazing at all the delicious food, and laughing at Gilbert. The pig, that is. ;o) In the evening, the Moks and the Leungs (extended version... with everyone! minus Angela, plus Jon and Stew) gathered at the Leungs for BBQ and Snatch (at least for the young'uns). I really enjoyed myself there. We should have one BBQ a month when we can!

Friday was less eventful, although I did yum cha with my parents, and go to fellowship for a rather confusing Bible study. The night was topped off with amazing pizza at Amato's, where we had great conversation and watched the beginning of the original Spider-Man movie. Thanks for the Spider-Man history, Alan!

On Saturday, I got to watch Spider-Man 2 with Becca, LeMonde, and Niette. It was absolutely AWESOME! Excellent blend of action, drama, comedy and ANGST, ANGST, ANGST! What a genius for making a tear-jerking comic book movie! I won't give any of it away, although I would love to spill my thoughts about the movie. Man, the more I think about it, the more I love it! You really feel for Peter Parker/Spider-Man in this one. Anyone for seconds? ;o) Thanks for the company, guys! It was great!

Anyway, today was the usual - service, Sunday school, lunch. Then I headed back here to 'loo, where I will spend four days and head right back out to good ol' 'sauga for the JOY Retreat @ Joe's Resort! Can't wait! Although I CAN wait, since I have still have yet to put together the handbook and rec! Oi! Oh yes, before I go, praise GOD for bringing my parents and I safely here! The rain was MAD crazy!

Alright... gotta jet. Prayer meeting!