June 26, 2004
CCF's Coffeehouse has come and gone. It was a good night of performances, both musical and acting. They threw me on first right after the first section of the play, and I guess it was a bit rough with Caroline's guitar (my stupid guitar without hook-ups! grr...), but otherwise, it went well. Slightly disappointed that nearly all the people I invited didn't show up (thanks Matt for popping by though!). But thanks to Marianne for the encouraging e-mail afterward. You're awesome. Anyway, the Alexis-Andrew-Herman-Jeff-Mike (I dunno their name, if they have one) rocked, as usual. Nice song picks too. :o) Afterward, we went to King Tin for dinner... my GOODNESS they ordered lots of food! Needless to say, I was stuffed by the end of the night.Spent today reading my psych text and unwinding with some O.C., Third Watch, and an entire episode of Joan of Arcadia. I LOVE that show! So witty, so thoughtful, and I LOVE "GOD'S" LINES! Very sad that the Mok-Leung crew watched an ep without me (*and* you had lamb??? all this partying without me??? do I sound jealous???), but at least there is still one (or maybe two?) episodes left on the tape that I have. Anyway, I just watched the episode "Vanity, Thy Name Is Human" (all about the episode at TV Tome, if you're interested), and needless to say, it's yet another masterpiece. Well, haha, maybe not "masterpiece," but it was brilliant nonetheless. I loved the whole theme about wearing masks or disguising unknown features to impress someone else. Definitely something to ponder about...
Well, it's getting late for a pre-church night, so I better get going. Before that though, just wanted to say, remind yourself why you went to Urbana 03, and maybe listen to a few Broken Walls songs too! Take care!
SONG OF THE MOMENT
Crazy Mary is a slow girl who looks up to no one
Would do anything for a cold one
Wishes she could find her way home
Got the look on her face and the stare of a ray gun
We walked by everyday
And I wish there was something I could do for herMaybe if I took a little time to talk
Then she'd heal a little if she wants to
She can run but let's teach her how to walk away now
I'll shake a little if she wants to
She'll laugh a little if she needs to
There's a key to the door that she's hiding behindShe watches the world pass her by like a freight train
They all call her the same name
Laughing as they point and stare at her
So she cries out to God up in Heaven
Been praying since she was 11
For Him to send someone to meet her thereAnd no one knows the thoughts, the dreams
And the ideas she's got and contains inside
She's broken apart and her heart is still looking for somewhere to feel alright
And no one knows the thoughts, the dreams
And the ideas she's got and contains inside
She's broken apart, and her heart is still looking for somewhere to feel alright"Crazy Mary", FM Static (from What Are You Waiting For?)
Can't end this post without posting up this song that I've been obsessing over for a week! I love how the song discuss the topic of homelessness (which is, if you didn't know, close to my heart... check this out) in a light and hopeful way. Who knows? Maybe the next street person you talk to prayed to God for someone to be their friend. You could be it.June 23, 2004
YES! Finished my assignments BEFORE 6am (currently 2am)! Reason I'm updating is just to gush about the fact that Jon Bunch (lead singer for the now disbanded Sense Field) joined Further Seems Forever because I believe FSF's former lead singer is now in Dashboard Confessional. Even the remaining FSF members gush at the fact that Jon joined their band! Anyway, I really like his vocals and enunciations... they're different and fun to immitate (in a good way!). So I'm glad that he's in a still-together band so I can hear him sing.The even BETTER part is that FSF is soon releasing an album, and purevolume.com has their new track, Light Up Ahead, for streaming. It's pretty good, but no downloads available yet (or... ever?). But would someone PLEASE count the beat in the song for me! It's really, majorly, big-time syncopated, which makes a very confused Vicki. Well, if nothing else, go and enjoy the track.
In more music news (harhar), I was randomly looking for Christian emo artists on purevolume, and I somehow stumbled upon Bliss (they're not emo, which is what's puzzling). They're a band from Ruston, L.A., and they remind me a lot of The Embassy's band, which means they are really good. :o) The lead vocalist, Paige Witt, has a really strong voice, and their songs are pretty decent, though the file is slightly flawed (unless it's some strange electronic effect they're trying to achieve). Check 'em out at their official site and download their tracks at purevolume.
SONG OF THE MOMENT
Take this heart of darkness
I give it all
And all the emptiness
I feel it all
The times that I feel nothing
You bring me love
And so I can live for something
You lift me upAnd always bad dreams
I wake up to the light
And when I can't see
I wake up to your eyes
Wake me upThere's the light up ahead
There's the light up ahead, yeah
There's the light up ahead
There's the light up aheadIt gets so complicated
If you live a lie
Turn in to what you hated
You're breaking up
The times i feel like nothing
You bring enough
So I can live for something
You lift me upAnd always bad dreams
I wake up to the light
And when I can't see
I wake up to your eyes
Wake me upThere's the light up ahead
There's the light up ahead, yeah
There's the light up ahead
There's the light up ahead"Light Up Ahead", Further Seems Further (from Hide Nothing)
I think the song has a spiritual kind of edge to it, which makes it even more appealing. :o) After all, FSF *is* under Tooth and Nail. Anyway, I think the lyrics might be a bit screwed up, seeing that perhaps no one outside of the band has seen the actual lyrics, and what I'm reading doesn't entirely sound like what I'm hearing. But it's just slight problems, so I'll leave them on.June 19, 2004
Snuck back home on Thursday night... and had a nice Friday. Went shopping with mom a bit, then did some research for my assignments, had dinner, and headed to church for a praise night. It was awesome! I enjoyed it a lot... being able to hear different people in the English Congregation sharing about their visions and dreams. :o) Visions and dreams are so important to the church. The skit was excellent... great analogy and awesome acting! I loved it... the drama team should definitely do more skits and plays and stuff because MCBC has such a talent for it and the other creative arts.Anyway, just wanted to share about how much I appreciated the praise night, so thank you to all those who shared and helped and and organized and attended! :o)
June 15, 2004
My PSYCH 257 went quite well... it started off a bit rough, but as it progressed, it got much better. I was whipping through it by the end. The short answer turned out to be a discussion of the clip we saw from Primal Fear. Didn't expect that, but I guess it was a good way of describing dissociative identity disorder (although I think the guy was really malingering...).Anyway, I'm just here to rant about a song I can download but can't open or listen to. I'm disMAEd (harhar) that I can't download Mae's Tisbury Lane, though I can stream it endlessly (like I did back in the fall with My Immortal... oh my). It's such a gorgeous little unreleased number... and they mention Jesus! Yay! I'm kinda sad they didn't release it on Destination: Beautiful because that would've been sweet. Speaking of which, I should do up the review for that album when I get a chance. Anyway, if anyone can figure out how to open Tisbury Lane from purevolume.com, please tell me!
Alright, back to biotech research!
SONG OF THE MOMENT
She greets the day with her hair wet
She asks them to vacate the building
Because she's got a plan they don't know yet
And if it goes wrong, there'll be no one to seeIf she could just get the word out
God knows she's trying
They're watching her with eyes closed
She's always stuck with the old route
Does anyone knock when they barge in to beat her down?Will you come back?
It's all she wants to know
She knows she's part of the problem too
Could she let it go?
It'd take a miracle
So that's what I'm praying forNo one can know just how she feels
She won't use the phone, she's too tired to pick it up
She's going back to the old way
She sits in the classroom to learn with the othersPlease don't give up when it's easy
Don't you know that me and Jesus will cheer you on?
He's the only one that will be constantly everything you needWill you come back?
It's all she wants to know
She knows she's part of the problem too
Could she let it go?
It'd take a miracle
So that's what I'm praying forShe lives on Tisbury Lane
She lives on Tisbury Lane"Tisbury Lane", Mae (unreleased)
Lovely number. You should check it out. :o)June 14, 2004
So I checked my exam schedule today, and I finally get one of those really compact, quick-ending exam schedules! We'll see just how terrible it is. :oP PSYCH 257 doesn't have a final, so that leaves PSYCH 211 on Aug. 4, ANTH 102 on Aug. 5, and my 2 DE's, SCI 263 and SOCWK 120R on Aug. 7. I should start studying right about... NOW! I'm really happy, at least for the moment. That gives me ample time to move out of Waterloo and pack for Hong Kong... about 1 week or so. YAY!!!Anyway, the weekend was quite enjoyable. I had Oasis training on Saturday. I was pretty blown away by the fact that we got nicely bound workbooks, a pen, and even a t-shirt! On top of that, breakfast AND lunch were served! The workshop itself was cool... I'm kind of glad I wasn't with the other CCFers because then I wouldn't have heard from the perspectives of a social case worker, a former welfare receiver, a grandmother of 5 (she does NOT look like a grandma!), one unemployed university grad and a health studies student. And of course there was Colin. The material we went through was quite practical, I thought. Should be applicable to whatever I do when I graduate. :o) In the evening, my parents came bearing tonnes of groceries, and we went out to eat. It's great timing, because this relieves me of having to cook since mom brought up some cooked food and I have leftovers to enjoy!
On Sunday there was church where Ken reminded me to surrender my time, talents, and treasure. It's just so hard most of the time, especially as a university student! I guess they don't call it the "narrow road" for nothing. For example, I chose to study for my PSYCH 257 test rather than go to the CCF prayer meeting which I really did want to attend. There was also the member's meeting which I'm curious about. Well, life is about choices, and we just gotta learn how to make the best one. Nonetheless, I spent about 9 hours reading about anxiety, somatic, and dissociative disorders. Really interesting and disturbing. And with that, it's back to mood disorders!
SONG OF THE MOMENT
You're stealing my heart again through every single move you make
And conquer over me with every glance of your blue eyesI am helpless for you
I am helpless for youHear the sound of my heart pounding in my chest for you
I am helpless for you
I am helpless for youI miss you more
More than words could describe
I miss you more
More than words could describe"Captivated", Slow Coming Day (from Farewell To The Familiar)
I'm just totally hooked on this song right now... it's got a gorgeous melody, and it's just a lovely little love song. :o) Download it free and legally at Pure Volume.June 11, 2004
Another nice day! Helped out with the group interview for Seneca in the morning, then went to the Grad House for lunch with Tery, Winston, Kathy from York, and Dave. Yes folks, I have been to the mysterious building entitled the Grad House. I am now enlightened. ;o) Anyway, after that, I had my classes, and my day ended off with MathSoc's showing of Eurotrip and Along Came Polly. First one was quite raunchy, but it was funny, albeit being the slapstick sort. The second one was a bit better, and it was funny too, but still there was a bit of raunch in it as well. More slapstickiness as well. Nonetheless, I enjoyed myself, so that's what counts. Thanks to Stef for inviting me out!Now for the good stuff... I've added a new section on the site - lists. "Lists of what?," you ask. Well, click and check it out. ;o) I would say they are pretty practical, since I'm a practical kinda girl. I've got them written out on a piece of paper and stuck into my wallet, so I can pull it out and use it whenever I need. Intrigued yet?
YES! No class day tomorrow... I shall do... lots of readings. *sigh* Oh well, at least Saturday there's the Oasis workshop and parental visit to look forward to. Take care, y'all!
June 10, 2004
I change my diagnosis. I think I'm more bipolar. :oP Or cyclothymic (bipolar light). Anyway, today was much enjoyed. The heat wasn't enjoyed, but tutoring was great. I love pouring over flyers with Jia! My developmental psych test also went well, and I'm hoping that I will score something similar to the psychpathology one.After the test, I headed off to Grand China for some dinner with my cell group, and then off to Oasis we went. I got to be on the floor, which was a bit nerve wracking since it meant initiating conversations with some of the people there. I ended up chatting with quite a few friends, and it would be awesome to see them again and find out a bit more about their lives. It'll be nice to know that Jared and Micah will be there on Wednesdays as well for the rest of the term. They seem nice... at least for now! ;o) I'm sure it won't change much.
I got home and got an e-mail from Winston confirming the lunch date with the Seneca folk, and also a request to help out with the group interview. He promises a car in return. ;o) It'll be interesting fielding questions from the candidates, and remebering how I was there once. Haha... I sound so old. Another thing to look forward to is Europtrip and Along Came Polly for $2 at the DC fish bowl. Or somewhere else. It'll be nice to hang out with Stef and her housemates again. :o) So it's off to the co-op building in the morning for a long, long day!
On a different note, they totally razed up Columbia yesterday from Albert to... who knows. It's pure gravel now. This morning, they put up that bright orange fencing all the way down the street, which I have no idea what the purpose is. Feels kind of like prison or something. I hope they fix the road soon because it's such a big, nasty hassle for cars. Construction around the house sucks. Hopefully the end result will be good.
Anyway, gotta hit the sack. Take care, all!
SONG OF THE MOMENT
The stars will cry
The blackest tears tonight
And this is the moment that I live for
I can smell the ocean air
And here I am
Pouring my heart onto these rooftops
Just a ghost to the world
That's exactly
Exactly what I needFrom up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem of our dying dayFor a second I wish the tide
Would swallow every inch of this city
As you gasp for air tonight
I'd scream this song right in your face
If you were here
I swear I won't miss a beat
Cause I never
Never have beforeFrom up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem of our dying day
Of our dying day
Of our dying day
Of our dyingFor a second I wish the tide
Would swallow every inch of this city
And you gasp for air tonightFrom up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day
From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day
From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying dayOur dying day
Of our dying"Anthem of Our Dying Day", Story of the Year (from Page Avenue)
This is one of those MP3.com songs that I downloaded because it was plain available. Okay, that was a lie. I remember seeing the song, and then stumbled upon it somewhere else and downloaded it from their official website. It's a pretty passionately sad song (just the type I get suckered into), and when the singer screams, I just want to hug him and say, "God loves you." Probably not exactly what they want to evoke. But anyway, it's a really sweet song, complete with driving rock and lovely acoustic. Download it soon... they'll probably take it off soon.June 8, 2004
I have a syndrome: the second-year blues syndrome, which strikes, well, some university students. It should be made more well known alongside the infamous Frosh 15 (of which I "suffered" the reverse type... but that's besides the point).So I'm sitting in psychopathology today (which has been getting really interesting lately), and we're doing mood disorders today, covering things like depression and bipolar disorder, and I'm wondering, "gee, do I have dysthymia?" Dysthymia is also known as depression light, and the onset is right about how old I am right now (early 20's). We were watching a video on this lady who was suffering from major depression, and while the more vocal students in the class expressed their frustrations with her attitude toward life, I felt more empathy because I have had some of those experiences too. Heck, I still feel some of her described symptoms right now! But then again, I don't feel suicidal, nor do I have any of the somatic symptoms, nor do I suffer from anhedonia, which is the loss of pleasure in usual activities. Well, maybe in some activities. Maybe I have selective dysthymia, if that even exists. Hehe... it's so true that psych students like to go out and label everyone they see.
Anyway, I should really resolve to not do so much self-pitying, and figure out what God is trying to work out or teach me (as per Marianne's suggestion). It's just so hard not to feel confused and angry with having to live in two places at once (home and school), and at this point in life, I wonder if it will ever be resolved. I should really focus on other things - like my test tomorrow! Or going to Oasis. Should be good.
Well, that's all for now. Take care.
June 5, 2004
The price of your freedom:
- On D-Day (June 6, 1944), 340 Canadians died while storming Juno Beach
- In the 10 week campaign that followed, the total would amount to 5,000 Canadians, with 18,000 casualties
The figures, to say the least, are staggering. To put this into perspective, nearly 2 out of 5 people would have perished on D-Day if all of MCBC was involved in the invasion. In the entire campaign, 3 out of every 10 full-time undergrad students would have been killed. ALL OF THE FULL-TIME UNDERGRAD STUDENTS WOULD HAVE BEEN A CASUALTY. Sobering, isn't it? The events of World War I and II never cease to get me. I wonder why it's not more well known? Even I, with my passion with the World War events, remember the price that so many paid for our freedom only around the special occasions. It's an utter shame.
To find out more:
Juno Beach - The Canadians on D-Day
D-Day Landing Beaches - World War Two (from The Valour and the Horror, a documentary I watched in HIST 102)
One more time to remember - a Toronto Star article about theh 60th anniversary of the D-Day invasion this yearJune 1, 2004
June's here! That means that the May entries have been archived. Gotta run... meeting with Marianne! Take care, all!