May 30, 2004
Becca's Glo is on continuous rotation right now. Man, why are the d:boys so talented? God given gift, for sure. :o) Anyway, here's the 26-30 in recap.
Had my first accountability session with Marianne on Wednesday, after pulling a horrible all-nighter (or semi-all-nighter, since I actually slept from 6 to 12 - go late classes!) for my SOCWK assignment. Who knew there would be so much thinking involved?!? Anyway, the accountability session made my day (as would happen when you involve God in your day), and I'm really looking forward to more of it in the near future. It's great sharing about life with someone else... it lightens the load somehow. And Marianne is a wonderful listener... she even puts up with my babbling. I'm glad God made us relational - makes life so much more interesting. He is awesome!
On Thursday, I had my first tutoring session with Jia. She's a great person - really gentle and sweet. I'm also looking forward to these sessions as well... it'll be nice to keep my tutoring skills in use before I head back to Seneca in the fall. Anyway, I went back to 'sauga on Thursday night.
Friday: shopping with mom and fellowship at night. Seems like a habit to buy clothes when I go home. Or at least go to Square One or Erin Mills. So much for curbing my spendings on unnecessary items (though, actually, mom bought my shorts for me)! At least I'm keeping CD purchases at nil right now. Moving on... we had a praise night at JOY. It was pretty neat - I got the opportunity to chat with Alex and Alex (oh dear!) who both go to school at Laurier (close enough!). It's always great connecting with people in fellowship, especially in Christian fellowship.
Saturday's big event was Sam and Irene's wedding, which was beautiful. A whole lot of thought was put into planning it. It had a praise session (very Sam, I must say), and Sam wrote a song as a vow to Irene (I kind of expected it, knowing Sam's awesome ability in music, but nonetheless sweet). I think the video presentation with their parents was really, really touching (yes, I jerked tears). I am happy to have witness their union. Oh yeah, another cool surprise was seeing Katie there (should've figured out the TC thing!). I haven't seen her in quite a while now, since she shares no classes with me this term, so it was great to catch up a little.
The rest of Saturday was spent with lots of sulkiness and moodiness on my part, over life going on in Mississauga without me involved, to put it vaguely. Didn't feel at all part of the shopping that I did with Becca (though I must say it seemed like it was her running lots of errands with me tagging along). I really, really hate having to move around all the time. It's always pick up everything and move, every 4 months. You start something going in Waterloo, then it's off to another city, leaving things to gather dust. Then the cycle repeats again. One option is to transfer out of co-op so I can live a normal university student life. But I think I'm too lazy to switch. Besides, working is really enjoyable. It's just the transitions that wear me down. Sometimes, though, I think the conflict is all in my head. I should really try adjusting my attitude, but it's hard.
Today was better. I woke up resolved to be nicer to my family (slightly improved, maybe?). The sermon was really energetic and I defintely got the take home message: GO TO SUNDAY SCHOOL. I actually contemplated not going, but I did anyway, and ended up having a good, last class. Henry and Diana are awesome teachers, and I really appreciate their care in planning the classes that always run over. That's totally fine though, because the topics are always so engaging. I wish I could've been there for all the classes. Not much happened after class... just some errands running and getting stuff packed up to come back to Waterloo.
So that's about it. Here's goes another week (and another month, might I add). Take care and God be with you.
SONG OF THE MOMENT
Investigate my life and make me clean
Shine upon the darkest place in me
To you my life's an open book
So turn the page and take a look
Upon the life you've made
Always, my days, I'll praise
Fly away, where heaven calls my name
Fly away, I'll never be the same
Investigate, I can't wait
Excavate, recreate
Investigate my life and take me through
Shine upon the road that leads to you
I know you'd heard the words I'd say
Before I'd even lived one day
You knew the life you'd made
Always, my days, I'll praise
Investigate my life and make me clean
Shine upon the darkest place in me
When I go, when I return you've seen your holy fire burn
Upon the life you made
Always, I'll praise
"Investigate", Deliriou5? (from Glo)
Sounds a lot like my life right now. And it sounds a lot like what I need more of as well. This recreation is some tough stuff, but in the end, what's left is pure gold. That's where I want to be.
May 25, 2004, part b
And Victoria continues procrastinating! Anyway, here's a little something I posted up on the JOY Forum just now that I thought I'd stick here too.
From the JOY Forum
Here's a really long and detailed dream/vision for our church I'd like to share with you all. It's not all that extravagant, but hey, I'm a practical kinda girl! Anyway, I hope I'm allowed to post this!
Question: How can we address the tangible, right-at-home needs of our church?
One Solution: Offering our money.
This was something that came to me as I was laying in my bed after a time of prayer. I guess it's just something that's been on my mind after doing the study on giving with my small group last term.
I was also quite inspired by the Ottawa Chinese Alliance Church who have once-a-month offerings during service to various ministries happening in the church in addition to the "regular" offering of each week. I specifically remember the offering being giving to the unemployed people within the church, who would in turn give time offerings back to other members (such as by fixing their sink or something practical like that).
Back home, I think that so many times we complain that MCBC has a segregated and disconnected congregation (to which some will disagree), but have we done anything to improve the so-called problem? One way to deal with this problem is just to reach out to our church so that we can form the bonds that are weak or just not in existence at the moment.
It's time we become practical, creative, and most of all, Christ-like Christians that we are called to be. We can better our fellowship, our church, and beyond.
I don't know if you will consider this a little too radical, but here me out.
My suggestion is that we can have a once-a-month monetary offering donation (a time held during fellowship) which will be used in a church community benefitting fashion. It's kind of like raising money within our fellowship to fulfill specific church needs (remember that choir event we had to fundraise for a school building in China? or the Yee Hong one?). Some needs I thought of include:
- snacks for fellowships
- meals for various meeting boards/committees
- a family in need
- lightbulbs and toilet paper (hey... we all have use of these!)
Also, to address the fact that people have trouble finding a place to serve within our church (and if you're scared of serving, I encourage you to try it out or retry it out because it really is quite enjoyable, especially with a group of people), I propose that we get everyone in our fellowship involved with finding out what the needs of our church are.
So, that means that people will be assigned to contact various areas of our church (ex. a particular fellowship, EB board, ministry for the elderly, etc.) just to research what some of the needs are. A compilation of these needs will make this new ministry easier to handle, and much more effective than if we were blind in the water.
Alright... so, that's my dream. Well, part of it. There's a whole other section I'm pondering about, but this post is too long and I don't like to read long posts so I'll share about it another day.
I'm looking forward to seeing it fulfilled... yes, Lord! Please let me know what you think.
Thanks for letting me ramble!
May 25, 2004, part a
Here's yet another totally shouldn't-be-posted-because-I-really-should-do-homework post. Anyway, I'll keep it short. Besides d:boys' "Inside Outside", my other obsession of late is Evanescence's new video for "Everybody's Fool" (see or download the video here on their official site). I think it's their best video yet. It features some great acting by Amy Lee... see a curly blond and punky pink haired version of her pouncing around like never before. Evanescence videos are, in general, quite well done, with a short plotline and all.
On another note, in a fit of procrastination, I spoofed the lyrics to their song "My Immortal". Take a look at My Assignments and let me know what you think. Alright, Victoria, out.
SONG OF THE MOMENT
Perfect by nature
Icons of self indulgence
Just what we all need
More lies about a world that
Never was and never will be
Have you no shame don't you see me
You know you've got everybody fooled
Look here she comes now
Bow down and stare in wonder
Oh how we love you
No flaws when you're pretending
But now I know she
Never was and never will be
You don't know how you've betrayed me
And somehow you've got everybody fooled
Without the mask where will you hide
Can't find yourself lost in your lie
I know the truth now
I know who you are
And I don't love you anymore
It never was and never will be
You're not real and you can't save me
Somehow now you're everybody's fool
"Everybody's Fool", Evanescence (from Fallen)
Their lyrics are also so dark, but I guess in a way, it portrays a person trying to break out of the mold the world forces us through.
May 23, 2004
My latest obsession: Delirious' "Inside Outside" from World Service. What a gorgeous song! Why can't us North Americans get more of a taste of the d:boys songs, like the lucky folks in Germany that are getting a mainstream release of the song? Boo! Anyway, you can watch the video for the song on their site. The sad part is that the last 36 seconds or so of the video has been cut off, so that really sucks! But enjoy nonetheless...
My long weekend has been pretty good so far. I had an awesome time at United Live on Friday. My favourite line they sang was "stir it up in our hearts Lord, a passion for your name." It's now mounted on my wall. :o) It was good to be reminded that the passion doesn't come naturally - but if we'd ask for His will, He will grant it to us. I like their "fame to Jesus" outlook on their ministry as well. Felt like a giant Embassy service, complete with cool sermon and all. Thanks for making me go, TL!
Yesterday was spent cleaning the house and trying to do my SCI 263 assignment. Which still hasn't been completed yet... I shall start after this update. Oh yes, and if course the privilege of cranking up my little boombox with some d:tunes to ear shattering levels. But then my landlord came to take care of the yard so I turned it down. Anyway, it's always nice belting out those praise tunes with Martin Smith's sexy voice (eh, Ceci? hehe...), either through disc or live. Which reminds me, I should really do up the review for Access:d.
After a restless night (I think I drank one too many caffeinated drinks... does any one know if soy sauce is caffeinated too? I might have used a bit too much in my stir fry...), I woke up to go to CFC - the bus had like 10 people in total! Every sane person from the province fled home for the weekend, which is expected. Nonetheless, the the insane few and of course those out-of-towners went to McDonald's for breakfast after service. Paul (graciously, yet again) drove me home afterward, and so after a 2 1/2 hour nap, here I am, wasting my precious time doing useless online activities. At least you get updated on all my wonderful doings!
Well, seriously, I should get back to work. But first let me get to the d:boys video for "See The Star." Take care!
SONG OF THE MOMENT
Inside outside, under my skin
Never ending love I don�t know where it begins?
I don�t know where it ends, I don�t know how high
I don�t know how deep, I don�t know how wide
Outside inside around the world
Never ending love envelops me like a cloud
I feel you in front, I feel you behind
I feel you up above, And I feel you at the side
And you, you�re all over me, you�re all over me
Your banner is over me, I give it all �cos
You still captivate me, fascinate me
You still captivate me, saturate me
Inside outside, pulling me in
No matter where I run I know you�ll never give in
I see you in the storm, I see you in a kiss
I�ve been around the world and never found a love like this
You�re all over me, you�re all over me
You�re everything I want to be
I�m all over you, you�re everything I want to see
You�re all over me
You, still captivate me, fascinate me
You still captivate me, saturate me
You still captivate me, liberate me
You still captivate me
"Inside Outside", Deliriou5? (from World Service)
This makes me want to purchase World Service very, very much. Three sweet tracks out of 12... that makes for at least at 25% awesome album! I'm sure the rest of it is wonderful too, knowing the d:boy's track record. Except the only problem is that I'm on a self-imposed CD ban. Oh well... I'll just listen to what I have!
May 21, 2004
My day off. :o) It's been good. Went to the first Oasis cell meeting last night (TL managed to get me off the hook from attending training, which means I can go to Sam's wedding next weekend... yay!), wrote an Everwood fanfic until 3 last night (still not done... darn...), played some WordRacer, posted up a new poem, and then slept until 12:30!
So far today, I've gotten a rejection letter from Crieff Hills for the JOY retreat. Just fired off another letter to another retreat centre, so hopefully it will be okay. I hope we don't have to end up dishing out too much... that will probably deter some people from going, which will not be a good thing. Other than that, I'm looking forward to retreat. Should be a good one. I wonder if there's theme yet?
On another note, I got suckered in to going to Hillsongs tonight by TL, even after I kinda ranted off about it on the JOY Forum. Oh well, I don't think it will be bad - in fact, I bet I'll come back with a glowing report of the concert. At least there's something to look forward to tonight since I won't be going home for the long weekend!
Anyway, I just wanted to babble a little bit before doing some homework. Take care, all!
SONG OF THE MOMENT
It's a beautiful day and the world is bright
'Cos you took me away from the longest night
What can I do but give all I have to you
It's a beautiful day and the page has turned
Deep in my soul now your fire burns
What can I do, I'll give it all up for you
You give me everything
Give me hope within
You're the song I sing
You give me everything
Give me hope to win
You're the song I sing
It's a beautiful day and we're running proud
And we'll run to the line
Hear the witness cloud
I know it's true
We're gonna fly
We're gonna dance
On that glorious day with you
You are the light that shines - hey hey
"Everything", Deliriou5? (from Glo)
Another beautifully written song by the ever awesome d:boys. I'm noticing songs with the name "Everything" are great songs. There's the gorgeous Lifehouse version, and the little known but wonderful version from Jill Phillips.
May 16, 2004
Happy birthday mom and Calvin!
Le week-end �tait comme ci, comme �a. I think the lack of sleep made me really, really cranky. Could be also just the plain fact I went home. And it wasn't exactly relaxing, with a packed Saturday and Sunday, and a packed house full of visiting relatives! It's not that I don't want them there, but the joy of relaxing just wasn't possible. Would've been nice to be in my own room, instead of in my parents' room, where one got to bed really late (waking me up) and the other got up really early (waking me up). Oh well.
Anyway, Friday at JOY, there was a murder mystery game, and I played Junior Mok. It was an interesting game... probably would have been more fun trying to solve the murder instead of being one of the suspects!
The highlight of the weekend was going to good ol' Good Shepherd Refuge Centre to help out with making beds and folding laundry. It's about the only place that make either chore fun. I made beds with my partner-in-everything Cecilia... may I say we made mighty fine beds! And I think I remember how to make 'em hospital corners again! Laundry folding was done with Cecilia, Brent and Paula (not all at once!). Oh, and Good Shepherd serves some awesome meals to their volunteers! Sausage, artichoke salad, marinated tomato salad, potato & ham, garlic bread, and apparently some juice that tastes like Flinstone vitamins. Didn't have any myself. But artichoke salad? At a men's homeless shelter? Isn't that so cool? Anyway, statistics wise, we made 61 beds, and I think about 200 items of laundry. I'm gonna go again, if I ever can again!
The latter half of Saturday was spent at Fu Yuen (I dunno the English name) for mom and dad's surprise anniversary dinner. They actually were surprised, so that's a good thing! There were 15 of us there... we ordered a 10 person meal with 3 added dishes and it was still enough leftovers for lunch today and tomorrow for my family! Chinese restaurants are great for giving big portions. I should really scan the pics from the night on to the website. Afterward, Cecilia and Angela came over and we watched Love Actually. Everyone was smitten by little Sam. It was a cute film, but had some unnecessary British vulgarity.
After a sleep that was less than 8 hours (any less and I get upset), I got up for church. I think my sleepiness got in the way of sermon and Sunday school, because I kept wondering when it would end, so I didn't pay better attention. Funny thing was the sermon dealt with anger (I felt angry that I couldn't get enough sleep) and Sunday school dealt with God's will vs. man's will (I felt my will was being trampled on). I did make notes - hopefully that'll help. After church and lunch, I went grocery shopping, made dinner with Becca for Uncle MK, Auntie Clara, Tania, Uncle Victor, Joyce, and my family. Had some birthday cake and headed back here to the 'loo. Would've been nice to stay and chat since Uncle MK and company are leaving tomorrow. Boo to school! Boo to co-op!
The last 4 months were definitely better on me psychological than these next 4 months. I hate living in two cities - one where the familiarity keeps changing, and the other where, well, it's just not home. I keep reminding myself that God is my home, but my head wants an earthly home so I can have some stability in life. Quiting co-op sounds lovely right about now, but the money is very helpful for tuition, especially now that Becca's going back to grad school. I'm looking forward to university ending (but by that time, I'd probably wish that I could never quit). I hope I find my rhythm soon.
SONG OF THE MOMENT
I've walked down a road where the devil's been
Where the kids have seen things they should never have seen
And the ancient stone knows the deeper tale
About a bloody game, they called the holy war
Heaven is my home and there'll be no shame
I've walked down a road where the angels been
Where the kids have seen things that we never have seen
And the ancient stone knows the deeper tale
About a bloody king who won the holy war
Heaven is my home and there'll be no shame to bear
Heaven is my home and there'll be no refugees
"Heaven", Deliriou5? (from Mezzamorphis)
Heaven sounds like a great home for a lost soul like me. Can't wait to get there...
May 11, 2004
Quick note: Niette is here for the rest of the week, until I go home. Fun times! ;o) We'll be going to Mel's tonight for dinner. Mmm... diner food... Anyway, I'm looking forward to entertaining more guests in the summer... as long as they come! Gotta jet to Agnes' room for a tour...
May 9, 2004
Happy 25th anniversary, mom and dad! I hope you're having fun in Montr�al. :o) Have an awesome mother's day, ma-mee!
It's pretty deserted in my house, considering that I'm the only one home for the weekend! Then again, it IS mother's day today, so it's right that people went home to be with mom. Mine is in Montr�al, so I'll celebrate next week. Anyway, it's been a good, quiet weekend, and I managed to read one chapter of my developmental text. It's tough being only able to do one chapter a day! I'll have to come up with a more efficient system sometime.
Today was my first day at CFC in four months. Services are always very relevant, and it's always great seeing familiar faces from CCF there. Marvin Brubacher from Heritage College and Seminary was the speaker for today, speaking about a purpose driven faith. God had my attention this morning, especially when Marvin spoke about kids growing up in the church grappling for a complete faith in God - it's right where I am. I've always suspected there are many others like me, but too afraid to speak of this "flaw", just like me. Marvin also said that there are two activities we need to carry out daily - saying no to the world, and saying yes to following God. That's also something that I've heard a lot as of late. Difficult to live out, but not impossible. I'm trying hard to focus on choosing God everyday now, but I don't think I'm doing that great of a job, at least today. The journey of faith is the most difficult of all, but I won't give up.
Marvin talked about William Borden (mini-biography), most famous for his inscription in his Bible which read "No Reserves. No Retreats. No Regrets." It's amazing that even though he died before he fulfilled his dream of reaching out to the Muslim population in China, he could still say he had no regrets. Imagine being able to say that in the life I've lived, I have nothing to regret about. I can't see that happening at the moment. I long to be on fire for God again, to have no reserves and no retreats. I actually shared with Marianne about it this past Friday, and she encouraged me to pray about it, so I will. God will answer in His own time.
Speaking of personal sayings, a few weeks back, Paula reminded me of my own mission statement that I shared with JOY way back when she did the seminar on time management. "Your truth is my dare." I wrote down a few clauses (I guess that's the word) surrounding the statement, but haven't thought much about it since. It's a powerful statement of committment, and even as the author, I'm finding it difficult to live out. As humans, we like to hammer out the rules and regulations, but hate to follow them. It's especially true in the faith in God - how often do we hear a sermon, acknowledge the truths, but not act it out as we should? What does that say to the non-believers we are surrounded with?
I don't want to live like that anymore. His truth is my dare. I will live for Him.
May 6, 2004
First off, happy 17th birthday to my petite cousine Angela. I hope you had an awesome day, kiddo! :o)
On a website note, I updated the photo album. Remember, it's off site now. Enjoy nonetheless!
And now for my daily ramble: my ANTH 102 class is chock full of engineers looking to fulfill some degree requirement. In fact, one of them chatted with me, which was kinda nice since I didn't know anyone else in the class. It's similar to SPCOM 223 last term, which was chock full of accountants. If I had enrolled into SPCOM this term, it would be chock full of my own kind - psychologists. Well, a class full of engineers in ANTH should make things interesting, as long as they don't get too brainy on me.
One nice thing about the class today was that we got out early... 2 hours and 40 minutes earlier than expected. Took the God given "free" time to listen to the first 3 tapes in my SCI 263 course. Might I say that the prof goes REAL slow, but he lectures on about 5 of the 23 tapes. I'm looking forward to the Larry Smith lectures, since I've heard all these good things about him. Anyway, I'm trying to be a keener - I'm slotting in time on my schedule to specifically listen to the lecture tapes for SCI and SOCWK 120R. I need to discipline and commit myself to work hard on these courses since there's no one really keeping me in line but myself. As Socrates said, "An undisciplined life is not worth living." There you have it - the challenge of this term.
May 5, 2004
Good day today. First, I hung out with TL at his house after some good ol' Mr. Sushi (which I *must* take the Mok-Leung crew to when they make a visit up... when, not if!) and HMV shopping (for him, not me...), then after PSYCH 211, I headed over to Stef's house for pizza, ice cream, and the season finale of The OC. I must say that it wasn't all that dramatic, given all the other plots they've come up with in the past. Was it supposed to be some cliffhanger, with all the characters separated or something? Come on! Where's the drama? The big action? The explosions? The chaos? It seriously seemed like the aired the wrong episode or something. Not impressed at all. Hopefully the second season premiere will make up for the shortfalls. Anyway, I had fun with Stef and her housemates. I wish I lived in a clean house with cable and housemates who would watch shows with me too!
Anyway, just came on to rant about that. Gonna finish my SOCWK assignment now!
SONG OF THE MOMENT
We've been on the run
Driving in the sun
Looking out for number one
California here we come
Right back where we started from
Hustlers grab your guns
Your shadow weighs a ton
Driving down the 101
California here we come
Right back where we started from
California
Here we come
On the stereo
Listen as we go
Nothing's gonna stop me now
California here we come
Right back where we started from
Pedal to the floor
Thinkin' of the roar
Gotta get us to the show
California here we come
Right back where we started from
California
Here we come
California
California
Here we come
California
California
Here we come
Here we come
Here we come
"California", Phantom Planet (from The Guest)
Indeed this is The OC's theme song, and after streaming this song endlessly for the past two days, I can finally say it's a song of the moment because I know the lyrics! Yes, I know I'm a sad individual, in desperate need of new hobbies rather than get wrapped up in fictional situations. But we all need our escape sometimes!
May 4, 2004
In true procrastination spirit, I added a recipes section to the food area with one created recipe - smoked mackerel spaghettini. I made it over my one week break after Seneca was over... familial reception was decent, so it is now available in HTML form. Enjoy!
As for class, I had one today - developmental psych. The prof seems pretty fun at the moment. I think all psych profs are pretty lively people, so that's good. The better thing is that Sharon is in my class. I hope it'll be a good term! Tomorrow, I have psychopathology, otherwise known as abnormal psych. I've heard good things about that class, although I know nothing about the prof. We'll just have to see.
And now on a totally rambly and ditzy note, I'm starting to really like the word "California." It is strangely associated with summer and fun and freedom or something of the like. Just rolls of the tongue like candy. Of course, these feelings are much influenced by watching The O.C., listening to songs like California Girls by the Beach Boys, or having songs with the word California stuck in my head (ie. "California here we come, right back where we started from, Californiaaaaaaa..." or, "I'm going to California, going to live the life..."). I suppose Hollywood and the recording industry combined makes California seem like the dream destination, making Canadian suburban kids like me think my home just does not measure up. I'm not totally suckered, but I'm suckered enough to want to write a song about California to add to the hundreds of other ones that are already in existence. We'll see if I still feel this way tomorrow.
On that note, I bid you goodnight.
SONG OF THE MOMENT
On a lonely day
I look out on the freeway
I can fantazise 'bout the car I drive
Don't need the light on
I can find my way
It's been so long now I have to say
I'm going to California
Going to live the life
Sippin' on tequila
Night after night
Dreaming of the moment when everything is right
A little bit of love goes a long way tonight
I'm on my way
Heading for the sun
That's where I'll stay
I'm never going back home
Do you ever feel like
You need a change
Hang out where no one knows your name
Would you like to meet me there
We'll be dancing on the sand
These days will never end
They'll go on and on and on
On a lonely day
I look out on the freeway
I can fantazise 'bout the car I drive
Don't need the light on
I can find my way
It's been so long now I have to say
It's been so long now I have to say
"California", Wave (from Nothing As It Seems)
Ahh... another bunch of Canadian kids longing for something bigger. A catchy little summer tune, just in time for the summer days ahead. Sweet dreams!
May 3, 2004
So I've moved back to Waterloo for the second round of second year yesterday. I have an incredible amount of stuff with me! For this term, I'm only putting my dishes and refrigerated foods in the kitchen, which means that I'm stashing all the rest in my room! So, yes folks, I'm sleeping on top of my non-perishables. Kind of weird, but hey, there's drawer space so why not? Also, for this term, the living room is free. So perhaps I might put my TV there because there room now! We'll see... Anyway, I had a cleaning spree yesterday. I cleaned my dishes and pots and pans for about 2 hours! I don't want to do that many dishes for a long time... :oP
My first and only class starts at 4:30 today. It's Developmental Psychology, and I hope I'll survive. I'm printing out my outlines for the 2 DE courses I'm doing at the moment. Why are there no due dates? Weird...
Well, now I'm just blabbing. So I'll stop. Take care everyone!