January 31, 2004
My new standard has become two weeks per update! Blame Seneca for that. :oP Well, there really isn't too much happening in life anyway - it's get up, work, go home, sleep from Monday to Friday. While commuting isn't too fun (since it eats up a good chunk of my day), work is pretty challenging and fun. I get to chat with people and be paid for it! There are some tough students though, especially those seeking help with editing (which I'm not allowed to do except point out areas where error is possible) or analysis (which I'm not allowed to give away too much of my ideas but help them draw their own conclusions). My colleagues are a fun bunch... we poke fun at each other all the time, which is great. No one likes an overly serious workplace! I might go back for a second term...

Let's see... I'm sick right now. Not sure quite what I have, and I haven't had a chance to see the doctor yet. Stuffed up and runny nose, sore throat when swallowing (really odd...), and added yesterday was an annoying cough. *ugh* I keep taking different meds - from stuff for sinuses, to cold medication, and cough medication to pain killers. Oh well, I'm feeling better at the moment, so hopefully that trend will continue!

A few new items at my home: two new CDs (so much for careful spending! but I've "atoned" for that in my own way...) - Mae's Destination: Beautiful and Deliriou5?'s Access:d. I am spinning Mae way more than I am the d:boys. A much better purchase that my dad made was a brand spanking new scanner! About time! I'm scanning in WAY '02 Summer Camp pictures as I type. Hopefully I'll get all the pics since that time scanned soon!

Oh yeah... on Tuesday night, I had to stay over at my uncle's house because southern Ontario was hit with a big snow storm. The joys of it! Uncle Victoria and Auntie Susan fed me well, let me tell you! And I got to watch Infernal Affairs II (some acclaimed Cantonese movie), which I must say I didn't really understand. I guess I'm not one to understand the relationship between Chinese mafia and cops. Nonetheless, I really appreciate their hospitality on such short notice. :o)

It's the last day of January already. I'll talk to you all again next month!

SONG OF THE MOMENT

You said you made us in the middle of the afternoon
While we said we're frustrated
But you tried to take us
"Go on, get ready, cause it's coming soon," you said
Well, no thanks, we'll make it

So it brings us back to this
Something's got to give
So are you listening?
Or are you coming around again?

All deliberate speed - lately you've been contemplating
Is this real or is this fading?
What got you here in the first place?
Everyone around us screams
"It's got to be and it's got to hit you"
Well, you and me, well we can change the world

We could drive and we could take our stuff on out of here
We'll leave with the sunrise
This place and this city
It's good for nothing but feeling down
Well, let's say we'll break it

Losing sleep for days
Is it just a phase?
Are there other ways?
The one who sings is the one who pays

Sound off
We're going to L.A.
You wanted to be the one who makes it happen, so...
Sound off
We're going to L.A.
If it's going to be then we've got to give
Bt it's got to be enough for me

"All Deliberate Speed", Mae (from Destination: Beautiful)
Just one of the songs from this album. It's very slightly more mellow than my other rock CDs, but it's nice. Very wordy songs, and I must admit, I dont' really know what "All Deliberate Speed" is talking about, but that's okay, as long as it sounds nice. ;o)

January 17, 2004
I think this has got to be one of the longest update breaks I've taken in a while! Anyway, since my LOTR and Big Fish viewings took place quite a few days back, here is my short thoughts (as promised) about the films: Lord Of The Rings: Return of the King - excellent, beautiful, although I still like the first movie the best. I loved Sam's loyalty to Frodo... ahh, the joys of a profound friendship. Big Fish - I went in to the movie not knowing what to expect, just knowing little details about the film. The acting and the imagination of the writer was awesome. Lots of funny bits, both physical ones and verbal ones (Ewan McGregor attempting Cantonese... it was horrible, but at least they had subtitles!). The underlying story of the son seeking the father's true self was nicely woven into all the tall tales. Great film overall.

Well, work has started up. I had a full week last week, and let me tell you, the winter weather just is not co-operating very nicely! We're in a deep freeze right now (regularly, -32 degrees celsius, windchill included), and there's snow on the ground. I suppose it's the delayed white Christmas that I wanted. Just this Wednesday, it took 4 hours for me to get home from Seneca. The joys... at least there was the radio! Anyway, a weekday would look like this: wake up at 6pm, get a ride to Kipling, ride the subway from Kipling to Finch (both end stops... on different lines!), take a bus from Finch to Seneca. Time - 1 1/2 hours. Do English tutoring or conversation clubs or whatever else at the Learning Centre from 9 to 5, and do the reverse commute bound for home. Get back around 7pm, have dinner, lounge around, hit the sack by 10pm. Needless to say I can't really have a social life on weekdays. Oh well, at least I have a TV!

Speaking of TV, besides my regular dose of Everwood, Third Watch, and The O.C., I've picked up Joan Of Arcadia on my diet. Bad, but it's a really good show! I mean, it's got God in it every time! And although the concept might not be too traditional (for those who don't know, He embodies different people all the time - from a cute guy to a kid in pig tails, a liquor selling person to a medical doctor), it's a good and clever one. The acting is pretty solid, and hey, the script gives me something to think about each week. Check it out sometime, if you've got the time (Fridays @ 8pm on CTV).

On a totally different note, all the subway time I have now is giving me ample time to read. I just finished reading Philip Yancey's Disappointment With God, which is shedding new light on my perspective of God. If you feel you've been let down by God, or if you just want to see God in a new way, pick up this book and take a read. Yancey is an insightful person... I'm itching to read more of his books, but I'm working on The Smell of Sin by Don Everts right now - another one of my Urbana purchases. No worries though - I have 3 and a half months to go or so, and I will definitely hit the MCBC library for some reading before that time!

That's about it for now... have a good weekend, and take care!

UPDATED: GSL (Hey, if you were stuck in your car for 2 hours in a trip that usually takes half an hour, you'd be updating your GSL too!)

January 5, 2004
Hey there! This is the e-mail that I sent out to the MCBC Urbana delegates along with a few friends, and I thought I'd post it here. I'll share about LOTR and Big Fish later... take care!

Hi everyone,

Alright, so here goes. Before Urbana, my spiritual life was a confusing mess and it was getting pretty dry. Ever since starting university, I decided to "take a break" and re-evaluate why I'm serving God and to listen for God's direction. Well, a year and a half into university, I'm still taking this break. Worse yet, all this evaluation is not looking up. In fact, I think it's stagnating me more than helping me. The main battle I'm fighting is that of my faith in Jesus Christ. Growing up knowing that Jesus has saved me has become merely another fact of life, not something I embrace and really believe for myself. So for the longest time, I've been wondering why all this mental knowledge of salvation isn't translating to the heart. This confusing has led me to be stuck in a state of the fear of service, not wanting to serve out of duty or even out of desire, but to do so because I know wholeheartedly that Jesus saved me.

Nonetheless, these doubts and fears aside, I still want to be God's servant. And despite these hindrances, God has still been speaking to me. So in the middle of exams, procrastination, and wondering whether I should switch majors or not (I'm in psych, but I'm considering social work), I discovered that I have a passion for the plight of the homeless. At that moment, I felt God was calling me for urban ministry, as unfit for that kind of ministry as I was (come on, I'm a suburban kid who can't even cross streets with confidence).

So I went to Urbana with these burdens and revelations. I was really excited for it, having heard great things about it, but knowing that I shouldn�t be sucked into the hype. But I did go in thinking that God would change me in some way. Thank goodness this did not hinder from my experiences. I loved worship (unlike some of you, one of the churches ?I can explain ?I go to in Waterloo have loud music and a flashiness to it that I really enjoyed the worship right off the bat), and worshipping in different styles and a different language really refreshed my outlook on worship. Also, I went to one prayer ministry, two seminars, and one agency presentation, all of which I learned something from. Unfortunately, I decided to skip personal worship save for the first day, so I regret not having spent more time with God in that way at Urbana. Small group wasn't too exciting either, but nonetheless, when I was looking back over the notes I made, I still learned things from there, and enjoyed some nice fellowship with the girls.

So what did Urbana stir up in me? First, a desire for overseas missions, especially having attended the agency presentation for Food For The Hungry. They talked about a holistic approach to serving communities abroad, which really appealed to me. And after Pastor Sharon announced that MCBC would be leading another short-term missions this year, I was really happy, but really troubled. I had promised God that I would go overseas at my last WAY retreat within 3 years, but my dad said that this summer, we would take a family trip to BC (where I've never been and would love to go... and there's also the fact that my family hardly ever took trips out of central Canada, and that I was always away for my dad's birthday which happens around late August... the excuses start!). So BC or overseas? I have no idea. Please pray for me in this area.

Second, there's the materialism in the North American lifestyle. Now, I don't consider myself too materialistic, but who am I kidding? I probably spend more money on CDs and clothes and junk food than on kingdom causes. So this year, I've resolved to buy goats and chickens and Bibles and blankets and other items that people in developing countries need for birthday presents, and to request the same for my own birthday. And for every CD and item of clothing and whatever else personal, frivolous item I get for myself, I will give a comparable amount of money back to God. I think it's going to be really, really tough, especially as a "poor student," but with God, all things are possible.

A few more things:
1. I really thank God for having given me a few Muslim friends. I commit to developing these friendships and share the gospel with them when possible.
2. I definitely lack personal worship to God, especially during these dry spiritual times. Nonetheless, I will devote more time meditating and worshipping God.
3. "YES, YOUR MAJESTY." A hard one, since I want to control my life. But He has better control than I do, and He deserves no less.

Oh boy, there's so much more I want to say. But I think that's all I'll say for now because I don't want to jam up your mailboxes. I trust God will work powerfully in our lives, and break our bonds. Thank goodness He's in the middle of our doubts and fears!

I'll end with this:
Your kingdom come
Your will be done
In our lives
And in this world

Victoria

PS: For more Urbana, check out the Urbana website. If you can, watch a few of the webcasts... excellent speakers and more!

January 4, 2004
Happy new year, everybody! Just a short little entry to let you know I haven't disappeared off somewhere (or maybe stayed at the beautiful University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign campus...). Urbana was a great experience, but I'm still processing through it, so I promise to tell you about it in a little while. Hopefully I can get out of my spiritual muck (yep, still wading through it after Urbana, unfortunately) and get passionate for God.

Until then, a preview of some of the things to come shortly: my thoughts on Urbana 03, Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, Big Fish (thanks Ceci for the invite... I mean, Ewan McGregor attempting Chinese! who can miss that?). And for those who are concerned - Niette is out of the hospital and back at Western, but continue to pray for her kidney troubles. Thanks!