My Co-op Statistics Tally
Why not have a little fun during the co-op process by keeping tabs on my progess here? Good luck to everyone who is going through this needless hell (not that it takes place there anymore... someone think of some cool nickname for the Tatham Centre!)!Phase: Initial
Posting: 4 of 5
Job Applications: 8
Interviews: 0
September 29, 2003
Songs are awesome instruments of communicating thoughts and feelings. Michael W. Smith's Missing Person is speaking the words my heart is feeling powerfully. I'll let the lyrics speak.SONG OF THE MOMENT
Another question in me
One for the powers that be
It's got me thrown and so
I put on my poker face
And try to figure it out
This undeniable doubt
A common occurrence
Feeling so out of placeGuarded and cynical now
Can't help but wondering how
My heart evolved into a
Rock beating inside of me
So I reel, such a stoic ordeal
Where's that feeling that I don't feel?There was a boy who had the faith to move a mountain
And like a child he would believe without a reason
Without a trace he disappeared into the void and
I've been searching for that missing personUnder a lavender moon
So many thoughts consume me
Who dimmed that glowing light
That once burned so bright in me
Is this a radical phase
A problematical age
That keeps me running
From all that I used to beIs there a way to return
Is there a way to unlearn
That carnal knowledge
That's chipping away at my soul
I've been gone too long
Will I ever find my way home?There was a boy who had the faith to move a mountain
And like a child he would believe without a reason
Without a trace he disappeared into the void and
I've been searching for that missing person
He used to want to try to walk the straight and narrow
He had a fire and he could feel it in the marrow
It's been a long time and I haven't seen him lately but
I've been searching for that missing person"Missing Person", Michael W. Smith (from Live The Life)
Aside from the obvious male references, this is exactly how I've been feeling lately. All seems a lost cause, and the end to this struggle can't even be fathomed. Will I ever find my way home?September 28, 2003
The LD Retreat was yesterday. It was filled with fun activities (yes! no rec ones à la the ones I dread at TC!) that actually related to the themes discussed (well, maybe except the group song session - but I gotta say, "cheese is lovely this I know" is hard to sing without much practice!), and interesting vision sharing time. However, I feel that I didn't feel very connected there, and I did try to get acquainted with people but nothing was lasting, at least from my vantage point. In fact, I felt home church sick last night since I know if that retreat with held in context of the WAY two years ago, I would have been excited to share the visions and dreams and see them accomplished. I felt a little foreign when Brandon emphasized that those present were part of Embassy's leadership and we were the ones to make things happen. Kool-Aid isn't providing me with much leadership opportunity, and I'm admittedly not very willing to commit more on the sole basis that I'm feeling out of place there. I suppose the fact that once you get to know someone/something better, they become weird and abnormal holds true in this case.As of now, I'm not sure where God wants me to serve. I've formulated my own plans in my head, but are they Godly? Or is it just me running back to my own comfort zone? Way back when, I wanted to do crazy things for God, but now that I'm semi-living that, I want out. Maybe I still need to get my focus right because I have a feeling that it got misaligned somewhere along my university trek.
There is a quote that stuck out at LD yesterday during personal reflection time, and that is this quote from Thomas à Kempis: "If your total concern is God and your own spiritual warfare you will little note what happens outside you." Perhaps I am stuck because I am overdwelling on my problems. Maybe I need to be daring and ignore all these feelings and just live it out for God.
Life is very confusing right now.
September 26, 2003
Like my new co-op feature above? If it's not fun for you, then at least it'll be fun for me. Hope it's all going well for you all! I think I'm still clueless as to what I'm going to say at the interviews, but that's assuming that I'll get interviews! I'm being more picky this term - no jobs in Ottawa (winter? come on...), no kinesiology jobs - so I really hope that it'll all work out before continuous phase!I had a nice day yesterday. Auntie Ming Kum came to visit us from Hong Kong (via England) and it was fun introducing the campus to her, as well as taking her to the St. Jacob's farmer's market (too bad they were closing!) and outlet mall for a little stroll. We headed back to my house after that, assembled my new bed (thanks Uncle Pan!), stuffed ourselves full of all sorts of cookies (tea biscuits, biscotti looking biscuits, PC Reverse Decadents, Anna's ginger cookies from Ikea, Tim Horton's - no white chocolate macademia though, boo...), then went to King Tin for dinner along with Joyce. The service was slow, but the people were friendly and the food was decent. It's too bad I can't see Auntie Ming Kum for a little longer, but nonetheless I hope she has fun in Sault Ste. Marie with mom!
I'm tempted to take a nap before heading off to the Kool-Aid meeting with the Embassy at the SLC, but really, do I need to nap? Hopefully it won't be too long so I can actually get some readings done before CCF tonight and the LD retreat tomorrow. That's if I have the motivation to do all that. Anyway, I'm off. Take care, all!
September 22, 2003
I had a crazy morning yesterday. Agnes and I were waiting for the CFC bus in the morning with two other people on the corner of Philip and Columbia, not really knowing where it will stop. Unfortunately, the real stop was at WCRI on Philip, so when the bus pulled pass us, we all looked at each other. Then Agnes suggested that we run to the CLT stop since that's the last stop and there were several stops before the bus would reach there. So, yes folks, we ran the stretch of Columbia from Philip to Westmount - must be like a kilometre or something. Thank goodness we made the bus because I was so very winded the entire bus ride that it would not have been worth it if we missed the bus. In fact, I was so out of breath that I couldn't really talk properly, and had to scramble to find a seat in the sanctuary because I got really dizzy. Not very fun, let me tell you. Thank goodness that Marianne was there to tell me to put my head between my knees (actually, is that possible without straining your neck???), and then I finally regained my composure. Moral of the story: do not run 1km to catch the early service at CFC when you have a cold and a cough. It's not good for your health!Anyway, today wasn't too exciting. My legs were starting cramp and ache from all the running yesterday. Oh, and there's always the "terrential storm" that raged in the afternoon after SPCOM to discuss. Note to self: don't buy this mini umbrellas lest you want it to flip and break and become useless, therefore causing the need to purchase a new one every year. But they are so handy! Oh well, hopefully someone will invent a better mini umbrella someday soon.
That's all I'll blab about for now. I'll ttyl!
SONG OF THE MOMENT
How the hell did we wind up like this
Why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tablesI wish you'd unclench your fists
And unpack your suitcase
Lately there's been too much of this
Don't think its too lateNothing's wrong
Just as long as you know that someday I willSomeday, somehow
Gonna make it alright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
Gonna make it alright but not right now
I know you're wondering whenWell I hoped that since we're here anyway
We could end up saying
Things we've always needed to say
So we could end up stringingNow the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Let's rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a Hollywood horror"Someday", Nickelback (from The Long Road)
Lately, I've heard it at least once a day on the radio, and if that doesn't happen I'll just stream it through Nickelback's official site. Although their songs are very formulaic, I still love it! So, needless to say, this is yet another awesome hit from these four Canadian guys.September 18, 2003
An excellent day today. :o) The History Research Project is done! Well, at least step one is. But of course the icing on today's cake was LD 101 with The Embassy. Let me back track a little... after class today, I went to IRSRC's closing session at Jean Becker's office in St. Paul's. I got slightly lost again there, and I had just been there Monday! Thank goodness it's not a large building! We had a smudging, followed by a talking circle. As I shared with the others, it felt like the term was coming full circle - I bet I will not get to sit down and talk about the experiences at a workplace quite like that in consequent work terms. Unless I go back. ;o) Anyway, it really was a pleasure working with everyone at IRSRC, and it's definitely something I will cherish forever.After the session, I walked briskly over to HH 280 were Leadership Development 101 was being held by The Embassy. I got there a little late, and was kinda scared that I would be walking into a silent room. Instead, I was greeted with hussle and bussle of people filling out those find-as-many-people-to-match-the-facts-on-the-page activities, and so I slipped in nicely. There was a few people sharing about their experiences at The Embassy, and an awesome promo video. It was followed by a mission to be accomplished - with 5 dollars supplied by the staff, we had to get into groups of 4 and spend as much of the 5 bucks as we can, while impacting as much people as we could. My group (consisting of Jasmine, Justin and Leah) decided to run over to Aussie's to get 17 Chupa Chups (with 11 cents to spare!) and hand them out to random people in the SLC and around campus as we dashed back to Hagey. That's the stuff I live for. :o) It was fun listening to how each group spent money, and there were some awesome ideas that went around. I feel God will use in some how on the campus, and I'm really excited for the next session.
On a down note, I have a nasty chest cough right now. Went to Farah's to pick up some meds for it with Nessie after we had a spontaneous William's outing. Hope it'll be better soon. My family's pestering me to see the doctor, but I really am too lazy to drag myself to Health Services. We'll see... if it's about the same tomorrow, I might make an appointment. I'd like to go straight home after (my one and only) class tomorrow though, because the effects of Hurricane Isabelle is here already - winds, rain, everything. And of course there's the CLT reunion tomorrow, and CCF (where I'll see my beloved Marianne).
Anyway, I'm off to slack off some more before sleeping. Have an awesome night, and if I don't update again, have a wonderful weekend!
September 16, 2003
Feels like it's been a while since I've updated, but well, as it shows here, it's only been 6 days. What a geek! Oh well, anyway, yeah, lots of things happened this weekend. Dad had a retinal detachment so he had emergency surgery on his eye. I was going home for the weekend already, so I got to see him after surgery in the hospital, and of course when he came home the next day. His eye is swollen the last I saw him, and he obviously can't see at the moment. There might be loss of vision, but only time will tell. It'll be great if you guys can pray for him at this time. Our family is fine and dandy otherwise. Not too worried about it, so don't fret. :o)Besides that, the weekend threw me off balance. As in academics-wise. Went to St. Jacob's on Thursday with Becca and her buddies, then shopped some around uptown Waterloo on Friday after Philosophy. Saw a guy that resembled Seth from The O.C., presumably chatting with his grandpa. Yes I am obsessed. ;o) Well, maybe not obsessed, but I wished I had the chance to go out to lunch with my grandpa and just chat. Ran around all day Saturday getting things for school and Waterloo home, and watched Bowling For Columbine (homework? what homework?) with Ceci and Angela at night. Excellent film. Emotion evoking, and really gets you riled up about guns and violence. Glad I'm not an American, but I was a little uneasy with the portrait Michael Moore painted of Canada. We're nice, but not that nice. I suppose compared to the US, we are that nice! Who knows? Anyways, went to church on Sunday and hitched a ride home with Agnes.
Yesterday I enjoyed dinner with the Aboriginal Students Association (pretty funny how half of the IRSRC co-ops sat in on their planning meeting! but it was interesting... and I met more Native people! and of course the food was enjoyed, although I thought there would be some ethnic offerings...), then ran off to The Embassy at 7pm. Brandon in dreadlocks. I love it. :o) I signed up to the Kool-Aid team, so hopefully that'll begin in service at The Embassy!
So now I'm behind on almost all my readings (besides history, because of those One Minute Summaries!), and I already have that History Research Project to do. It's gonna take me all day tomorrow to work on it, although it really isn't that much to do. Ahh... the beauty of procrastination, 2 weeks after school started! Man, I still need to choose something to talk about for the Informative Speech for SPCOM class too.
Better get going now. Lots of things waiting for me to read! Take care all!
September 10, 2003
Had a refreshing chat about life and of course spiritual stuff with Tsai Lo over dinner tonight. It's good to be surrounded by Christians again, instead of having just one or two around. Fellowship is so important.Anyway, listening to my beloved Switchfoot CD, and I thought the song Beautiful Letdown is so appropriate with the things discussed tonight. Especially the line about "in a world full of bitter pain and bitter doubt..." Jon Foreman is an awesome lyricist! So I wanted to post the lyrics here. I better go and print out some course notes and read those readings that are piling up already!
SONG OF THE MOMENT
It was a beautiful let down
When I crashed and burned
When I found myself alone, unknown and hurtIt was a beautiful let down
The day I knew
That all the riches this world had to offer me
Would never doIn a world full of bitter pain and bitter doubt
I was trying so hard to fit in
Until I found outI don't belong here
I don't belong here
I will carry a cross and a song
Where I don't belongIt was a beautiful let down
When you found me here
And for once in a rare blue moon
I see everything clearI'll be a beautiful let down
That's what I'll forever be
And though it may cost my soul
I'll sing for freeWe're still chasing our tails
And the rising sun
And our dark water planet
Still spins in a race
Where no one wins
And no one's oneI don't belong here
I don't belong here
I'm gonna set sight
And set sail for the kingdom come
Your kingdom come
Won't you let me down!
Let my foolish pride forever let me downEasy living, you're not much like your name
Easy dying, you look just about the same
Would you please take me off your list?
Easy living, please come on and let me downWhat a beautiful let down
Painfully uncool
The church of the drop outs, the losers
The sinners, the failures, and the fools
What a beautiful let down
Are we salt in the wound?
Let us sing one true tune"Beautiful Letdown", Switchfoot (from A Beautiful Letdown)
September 9, 2003
Two days of internet blackout, and I'm back on. :o) So school has started, and one non-word: AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! PHIL 145 seems about the "easiest" course right now. I bet it'll be boring. Then there's SPCOM 223. No exam, but lots of speeches to make... in front of a video camera! PSYCH 291 will usually start at 9pm (go psych profs who have prolly studied the effects of early starts on student academic performance... or something like that), and there's a bunch of assignments for that course. HIST 253 is freaky... there are group projects! NOO!!! And online assignments! AHH!!! Reminds me of certain haunting ACC courses (or for you froshies, AFM courses)... the final one is PSYCH 261, where the prof pretty much said, "yup, this course is darn hard, so good luck." The readings are already piled sky high, and there's the imminent co-op process that kick starts next week. Too fast... TOO FAST!!!Getting back to school isn't too bad, besides the school part. Got to see lots of friends on Monday, and some more on Tuesday. It was nice hanging out with Jasmine again... I hope she stays in Waterloo for her undergrad! Looking forward to hanging out with old and new friends this term as well. The new house is decent... I think it's actually closer of a walk to campus (the edge of classroom buildings) than CLT was. I miss CLT though. It's a nice community with utilities included AND cleaning service!
Anyway, I'll be heading back home to Mississauga on Friday right after Critical Thinking since Becca can drive me! Woohoo! Going back to CCF will have to wait, but I'll get to see the new froshies at JOY! And of course, going out for coffee with the gang (hopefully?). AND, as Ceci kindly reminded me, enjoying a few slices of moon cake. All before the co-op madness starts up again. Excellent.
SONG OF THE MOMENT
I can be anything that you want me to be
A punching bag, a piece of string, oh
That reminds you not to thinkI found the note down in your car
And its not your fault it gets this hard
Gets this hardHold your head high
Don’t look down
I’m by your side
Won’t back down
You wanted a hero tonightWell, I’m not made of steel
I'm not made of steel
But your secret's safe with meI can be anything that you want me to be
A holy cross, some sympathy, oh
That reminds you not to bleedI found the note down in your car
And you climbed up here to fall apart
Fall apartHold your head high
Don’t look down
I’m by your side
Won’t back down
You wanted a hero tonightWell, I’m not made of steel
I’m not made of steel
But your secret's safe with me
No...
Your secret's safe with meThey knock you down, I’ll pick you up
They laugh at you, I’ll shut them upBut I’m not made of steel
But I’m not made of steel
But I’m not made of steel
But your secret's safe with me, yeah
Your secret's safe with me, but yeahHold your head high
Don’t look down
I’m by your side
Won’t back down
You wanted a hero tonight"Made of Steel", Our Lady Peace (Gravity)
Not much reason except this is the last song I heard on KOOL FM before I typed this entry. Interesting lyrics. Still have to buy their CD sometime... OLP's awesome!September 6, 2003
Well, I'm pretty much settled into at 95 Columbia now. Ahh... the joys of having the internet already hooked up and ready! My room is once again pretty large... there's a desk, a twin bed, a shelf, a couch, and plenty of room to spare! I even have Becca's really cruddy old TV (not much colour or view of the screen, but hey, it was a gift!) and VCR, so I'm all set! Only the boys have moved in so far, so I'm the only girl here at the moment. Joy...Anyway, I'm okay with the extra-person-in-the-house issue now. We still have somewhat of a sitting area, not that I plan on doing much sitting there, with a couch in my room and all. The house is pretty big, for student housing. My feet ache though, with all the wooden flooring and a pair of really thin temporary slippers lent from my dad as my nice rubbery ones are missing somewhere. I hope I didn't leave them at the cottage! Don't think so... or else I'd need to make a trip to Sun Hing to get a new pair!
Don't feel like doing anything lately. Too much moving around, although I'm looking forward to going on campus sometime tomorrow. Don't want to make dinner, don't want to go to church tomorrow (although the prospects of seeing Marianne and others there sounds really nice...), don't want to start school... well, maybe it's not "don't" for starting school. Just can't believe I'll be back in the classroom in less than two days. I better remember to explore SJU tomorrow, because my first class is there and I have no idea what the layout of the colleges are like!
Okay, I'm going to force myself to stand on my tired feet again and make some dinner. I'll ttyl...
September 1, 2003
Webpage note: I'm discontinuing the Exhibit due to lack on interest and lack of scanning facilities. All the exhibit pics will still be left online for you to enjoy though.Anyway, another entry, and another bunch of events have passed. Went to JOY on Friday, and I didn't see many people in my grade because I guess they were either a) back on campus, b) at WAY watching the double cohort get de-initiated, or c) who knows. There's a foreign familiarity at JOY now... I see some people totally in the groove of things, then there is me: a visiting transplanted veteran, know how things run, but not knowing the new twists and turns. Well, JOY isn't WAY, but JOY will be WAY soon. Then hopefully LIFE will be JOY, and won't be lifeless anymore. People say after starting university away, your home church just wasn't the same anymore - there's no certainty truer then that right now.
Let's see... there was Jonathan and Theresa's wedding and banquet on Saturday. Your typical Chinese banquet. Finally observed some wedding games in action - I will *definitely* get a Christian significant other so we don't have to play R-rated games and serve alcohol. Sunday was yet another banquet, way smaller on scale and for Uncle Victor's birthday. Never would I have thought that I would actually say no to deep fried crab balls and shark fin's soup! So I must say that today's dinner at Pansy's new house was a nice, homey change. A large spread of foods that were totally different from the weekend's dishes, not to mention hanging out with the ever-cute Pansy. Hope she never changes!
Moved some stuff into my new house in Waterloo today. Ranting to Marianne (it's by e-mail... hope you've read it!), Sharon and my mom is letting the steam escape, so I suppose that's good. So here's the story. My parents arrive along with Uncle Sam (who's van transported my bed in) close to 9am. We discover someone crashing in my room for the night... so happens to be a person who was in my CCF Bible study group at Winter retreat. So whatever, we move my stuff in as he jets, and I find my door is lockless! I shrug it off for the time being and mark it down, also noting the need for some cleaning. I find out there may be a possibility that I'm getting a 7th housemate, so I make a mental note of that as well. Fast forward to tonight where I give my list to Sharon, and yet another discovery is made - arrangements for a 7th housemate is already in order! Needless to say I wasn't very happy at all. My room and the main floor bathroom is lockless and I'm living with a bunch of boys while the other girls are in their hideout in the attic. I suppose that's not the point as much as no one even clued me into this major problem and made some major decisions without consulting my opinion. Do contracts not count anymore? Grr... (signs it with hand à la last week's congregational meeting, which, btw, the renovation and expansion project finally passed!)
On the flip side, if I was homeless, wouldn't I want a place to call home and have someone take me in? However, I was admit that this argument that Jesus would probably present isn't winning me over... yet. Here is yet another example of the best laid plans being screwed up and over.
Anyway, living with so many people can get stressful, that's why I'm gonna try and get fewer housemates next year. I'm only in 'loo for 4 of the 12 months anyway, so subletting from somebody makes more sense. Mmrrrr... housing dilemmas suck. You're right, Nausheen - should've applied to UTM and continued our biology hijinx after all. I'm sorry I didn't listen! :oP
What a nice way to start of the school year, eh?