My Co-op Statistics Tally
Why not have a little fun during the co-op process by keeping tabs on my progess here? Good luck to everyone who is going through this needless hell (not that it takes place there anymore... someone think of some cool nickname for the Tatham Centre!)!Phase: Initial - Interviews
Posting: 5 of 5
Job Applications: 8
Interviews: 1
Rejections: 5
Cancelled: 2
No responses: 0Rankings: 1 job ranked
October 29, 2003
Donated blood today. Once again, I had small veins and it took twice as long for me to produce my pint. I'm gonna load myself with water next time! The nurses were really nice about it though, although a lot of needle adjusting took place. Didn't hurt too much though, not like last time. No bruise this time. :o) Got my third time donor pin today, although really, it's my fourth time. Making up for lost time, I guess!This has been a relaxing week. Kicking back after a stressful week last week. Of course, there is the danger of not doing any work whatsoever, and I'll be screwed next week since I don't plan to do any work on the weekend (for obvious reasons, hehe). Well, I suppose it's just working up the motivation to work on my 291 lab. After this, I'll tackle that. Go me!
Man, nothing much meaningful to write here. Well, it is my last week as a teenager. Ooh... I'm getting old! I'm going to miss it, strangely. It's an interesting decade of life, lots of life lessons that continue on to today. I don't know if I want to start my 20's yet. But I guess I have no choice. Oh well, that's life for you!
All for now. Take care, everyone!
SONG OF THE MOMENT
Don’t say that you know me
You never knew the first thing at all
Still you should have told me
Took everything, selling it off
These holes in your stories
As many as there’s holes in the wall
You told me that you like the old me
‘Cause the new me is telling youI Refuse
To fit into this lame idea you’ve always had for me
I don’t want to be what you want me to beI hear you complaining ‘cause I’m not the same
But I won’t be missing the place that I came
I know that it’s risky but all bets are off
This is my life, so whatever the cost, if I’m lost
Would you hold it against me
And make me pay for every step of the wayI know that you’ve already told me
You don’t like the new me at all
You told me that you miss the old me
And that I couldn’t be happy at all ‘cause...I Refuse
To fit into this lame idea you’ve always had for me
I’m not going to be what you want me to beI know that you’ve already told me
You don’t like the new me at all
You told me that you used to know me
You really never knew me at allBut darling change is a good thing
I see for myself
Change is a good thing
Spelling it out
Change is a good thing
Can see for myselfDon’t say that you know me
You never knew the first thing at all
Still you should have told me
Took everything, selling it off"I Refuse", Sense Field (from Living Outside)
What? A happy sounding song from Sense Field? A nice change, actually. Not a total change, since the lyrisc are still kind of angsty, but that's fine by me! I like this song, it's very boppy, complete with guitars, piano, strings and Jon Bunch's cool enunciations. You can download your own legal copy from MP3.com.October 26, 2003
A nice relaxing weekend. Friday night was testimony night at CCF, and I'm amazed at the vulnerability and authenticity that all the testimony givers exuded, new and old believers alike. Absolutely amazed. God works powerfully in everyone's lives, no matter how screwed up it gets. Afterwards, had a late dinner with Agnes at Campus Pizza.Saturday was Becca's convocation. Or should I say convocations. The first one was the grand ceremony with the faculties of arts, applied health sciences and social work (we have an SW faculty???), complete with kneelings in front of the chancellor/president/vice-president and Pamela Wallin telling all the graduates to "stay stupid" (ie. stay open-minded). Should've taken a picture of her! That was followed by lunch at Renison College (first time I've been inside) and the much, much smaller ceremony with about 40 to 50 graduates from Social Development Studies and Social Work. Since Renison has Anglican affliations, the ceremony actually started with a prayer, and ended with a hymn and benediction. Pretty neat, I think. Can I get affliated with a college now??? Anyway, I gave Becca her grad gift - a djembe drum, which I know she wanted for a long time. Did I ever surprise her! I hope she enjoys it, and when I go home next weekend, I expect (yes *expect*) some jamming. ;o)
I also had my first small group leaders' meeting at 252 Westcourt starting at an unfashionably late 10pm. I just don't get why meeting have to be so late with CCF. Well, I do, but I don't. Nonetheless, the meeting was cool since I got to hear about the other small group ministries taking place around the campus - makes my participation at Christian Living a little more like part of a grander scheme. Thank you to Mei and Ken for giving me a ride there... thanks so much for the big hassle of finding the place! :oD
Today, I nearly missed the CFC bus since time got skewed due to Daylight Savings. I still made it (minus Agnes, who let's just say opted for the second service) and had Marianne to sit beside for the ride. God provides. :o) Oh! And they have two buses now, so no more cramming 3 in a seat! The service was wonderful - I just love how the entire church is studying The Purpose Driven Life together. I really pray it will be revolutionary, in a small or big way. I'm learning lots from the book, and finding out a lot about my own nature along the way. It's what I've been looking for.
Anyway, I need to finish my one minute summaries for history and prep the Bible study for tomorrow (can't wait! love that group...). I'll leave you with a song I've been playing non-stop for the past hour or so.
SONG OF THE MOMENT
My immortal
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all of my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Because your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me aloneThese wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot eraseWhen you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of meYou used to captivate me
By your resonating light
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in meThese wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot eraseWhen you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of meI've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
And though you're still with me
I've been alone all along"My Immortal", Evanescence (from Fallen)
Beautiful and haunting song. I forgot all about it after having heard it watching Daredevil in Ottawa with the crazy 50 Prestoners. Heard it again in Mei and Ken's car, and I had to find it (legally, of course) online to listen to it. Thank goodness you can at least stream it from Evanescence's website. Guess this means I need to get their CD after all! NOT good, all this money spending!October 24, 2003
Sex. Beer. More sex. More beer. Surely this can't be the only image that students on campus portray! Yet, with a quick scan of UW's Imprint, that's the picture you're left with. Not into beer or sex, I feel a little misrepresented in the newspaper.Vulgarity abounds in Imprint, and once again, this is something that does not lace my speech as Imprint suggests. Makes me believe that university is the romping ground before I move on to the real world – so party it up, because life is going to be a dull routine after these five long years. Living a decent life without all the alcohol and frolic more than appeals to me – it's my chosen lifestyle, though it may seem boring to some. Is there anybody, besides the few that I know, that feels the way I do?
Perhaps it is because Imprint has been sucked into part of media culture, and I don't blame them. After all, the TV's only solution to the doldrums is alcohol, and of course this leads into another whole array of activities. There are hardly any other alternatives offered by media as a reliever of the stress of academics, and sometimes, these alternatives are even laughed at. It's unfortunate, because I believe that there are much better alternatives to choose from, but people are conditioned to believe that those activities are hokey and ineffective. It's unfortunate indeed.
I also wonder why there are no Christian or even other religious groups with a weekly Imprint feature. Maybe it's not allowed since that might imply that Imprint has religious affiliations which it probably wants to stay away from, but it seems to me that those who stand for the values that I do fear stepping on toes. Now I have to take some of the blame for not speaking out for Christianity, even when I have the opportunity to do so. I always fear I'll offend somebody somewhere, but as people with opinions, aren't we bound to do this in any domain anyway?
It would be a breath of fresh air if an alternative article was published weekly in Imprint – something not dealing with sex, beer, homosexuality, sports, or laden with pointless vulgarity. We get enough of these topics in other publications already. What we need is something with a little more profundity to counteract the superficiality that runs rampant. Will anyone take up the challenge?
October 23, 2003
Everything is done, done, done! At least for this month, I suppose. This week was pretty hectic for me (although we I hear the horror stories of 3 midterms in a day and bunches of assignments due alongside interviews and tests, I thank God for putting me in the laid back faculty of arts!), but somehow I got through it. Finished my paper, did my 291 midterm, and most of all prepared and presented my speech in 24 hours! I was really, really, truly freaked out for it, having run overtime a lot during practice. But luckily I didn't run overtime during the presentation, and I even managed to sway some people from agree to agreeing more with child sponsorship! Yay! I hope my mark is half decent...Oh man! I'm excited for the weekend... Saturday, especially. It's Becca's convocation, and Cecilia and Angela and family are coming up in addition to mine! It's gonna be fun... maybe except the 2 two hour ceremonies part. Two ceremonies... I'm contemplating whether I should bring a book or not! Anyway, I'm actually more excited for Jasmine, who's going to O-town this weekend! Have lots of gelato for me. :o)
Anyway, that's all for now. Back to dinner and singing to old school dcTalk! Take care!
October 17, 2003
Two midterms down, two to go! Life isn't as stressful as last year, I find, which is more than welcome. I may be speaking a little too soon, with a history paper, a speech, and a psych midterm to go next week. Oh well, it's Friday. Might as well as relax before the weekend crunch comes in!So I finally wrote up some album reviews for Dakona's Perfect Change and Jars of Clay's Furthermore. Check them out! Both are excellent albums, well worth my splurge at HMV last week. :oP Furthermore is making me want to get the Jars self-titled album along with Much Afraid. I've been scouting Beat Goes On and they have it relatively cheap. I *could* borrow Becca's copies but I'm always one to get albums she owns already... we'll see.
But then again, I just spend some precious money on a new UW thermal mug today. It's really preeety... red and silver. I already caused an accident with it within hours of purchasing the thing (spilled tea into my keyboard... not good!). Well, I better start using that thing instead of buying teas and coffees on campus. That's why I got it in the first place... to save money. What a contradiction. Oh well!
Anyway, gotta get some dinner before heading off to CCF tonight. Take care y'all!
October 13, 2003
You have fun, and then the world sobers you up. Have to take the bad with the good, right? Well, this thanksgiving weekend was mostly enjoyable, with a few reality shocks to let me float too far away from the world.Let's see... it started with a 2 1/2 ride back home. Traffic sucks BIG. Especially when it doubles your ride time, and then some. It was really nice to finally arrive home and see my parents, but it kinda sucked that I couldn't go to JOY. Nonetheless, I got some homework done (was it PHIL? I forget...) and then Ceci and Angela came over and we... ahem... looked at flyers. So much for the traditional coffee/hot chocolate @ Second Cup/Timothy's/Tim Horton's. Oh well - Tropicana is always nice!
Saturday was awesome. :o) My transformation day. Got my hair cut, then picked up my new glasses. I LOVE them! They are awesome... I'm so happy about them partly because I've always wanted that style and partly because they are the first pair of glasses I chose independent of my mom's input. Well, her input was significantly reduced anyway since she usually chooses them for me. Oh, and no more curly hair, not the curls that I had before anyway. This might ruin my SPCOM plans, but we'll see. Anyway, after all that madness, we went to Erin Mills for a little stroll where we picked up... *drum roll much needed!* an ice cream maker! Oh my goodness! Homemade gelatos, here we come! Thank you Auntie Ming Kum for the gift card. We all got quite excited for that - can you imagine the possibilities? After THAT excitement, Ceci came over for our turkey (legs, to be more exact) dinner and then we watched Bend It Like Beckham. Pretty cute film with some weird, twisted Brit humour. Oh well, must practice my "brilliant" now. ;o)
Sunday was the usual church in the morning, followed by the quest to satisfy my seafood craving. We bought some take out fried noodles at Sam Woo (thereby skipping the lunch at Mr. Tee's... sollies!) then I actually did some homework! Had a rushed dinner afterwards and then headed off to the Grenada Mission Journey sharing which was refreshing and wonderful, and challenging. Very well put together, I thought. I'm so glad everyone was touched by God there. Kind of wish I didn't have co-op to contend with and actually went on the trip, but there'll come other opportunities. The night was capped off by our first batch of homemade coconut ice cream which wasn't solidified enough but tasted fine. Maybe a little on the sweet side. Thanks to Cecilia, Paula, and Richter for being our guinea pigs!
Today was a little calmer. My naiveté bubble leaked some more, but I won't get into the details since it's personal matters that aren't mine. Nonetheless, more of the real world is seeping into mine, and I suppose I need to realize that's how life actually is, and that I'm actually part of the chaos of it all. Anyway, I did more homework, we made more ice cream (lychee... mmm... really clumpy though), then Betty's friend drove me home after dinner. So here I am now typing away, maybe a little too much, about my weekend.
Oh! And of course there was my Everwood/Third Watch fest. Excellent, excellent Everwood episodes. Loved the humour mixed in with the tears. I'm pretty sure I misted during some episode. Got my Ephram fix - wished I had my tape with me though! I don't like his pool boy hair (or whatever he did at the pool), but his school hair is nice. And when he gave his assignment away to Amy... oh my goodnes, just HOOK UP already! They are such an awesome couple. Madison is actually a *cool* character. Time that Delia got some female presence (besides Nina...). Looking forward to them showing Delia grow up, although it's too bad it's by way of profanity. Can't wait to see the new eps! As for Third Watch, the season premiere was disappointing. Tried to tie up too many loose ends, which means they shouldn't have left so many in the first place. I was ready to give up on the show until the second episode which was a little more emotional, a little more engaging. Carlos the softie - who would've thought. And him giving Alex's eulogy - it was in character, so shine on you writers! And, come on, you gotta see what happens to Faith and her paralysis, Bosco and his guilt, Doc and his *big time* guilt, Kim and Jimmy hooking up again... (sorry for the spoilers!)
Anyway, I've written too much useless info about my life and my fictional friends. But now you know everything that happened over the weekend! Bring on the midterm crunch... :oP Take care all!
October 10, 2003
Well, there concludes my adventures in initial phase co-op process. Continuous, here I really come! Not looking forward to it, but hey, what needs to be done, needs to be done. I'm not really sweating about it though - I seem to not care as much this term, which isn't good. Anyway, there is a *slight* chance that I might get Seneca though, at least be ranked and maybe someone will give up their position for me, then I'm all set. :o) Oh well, perhaps it's time for me to take a look at some continuous phase jobs and see what's out there!Okay, I just did that and there's exactly one job available to all - some environment science job. Let's all apply! :oP
Moving on... the Dakona CD's been locked in my player. It's a well-crafted album, although it lacks some slower ballads (there are rock ballads though). It's my fourth time or so listening to it and I can already sing some of the choruses. :o) Not bad, for a debut album. Pretty darn swell, actually. They sound like a blend of Lifehouse/Our Lady Peace/U2. Especially the lead singer, Ryan McAllister's voice. It's bizarre sometimes, but it's nice. I like how they are explicitly Christian in several of their songs. Then there are the references to cars and girls and guns that dots half the songs. Not the hip hop/rap type though, so it's all good. :o)
Alright kids - enjoy your Thanksgiving! I thank you for visiting.
SONG OF THE MOMENT
Hear the crack of a bullet down on Seventh Avenue tonight
Man lies bleeding on the floor
Hear the cry of the cop car as the streets filled with blue and white
They all rush into the clinic doorAnd I'm never gonna know how you ever get to sleep at night
And justify the things you do
With your hand on the Bible, you say you killed a killing man
Well, mister, what does that make you?And it's all in the name of God
And it's all in the name of GodSee the crosses burning, lighting up the southern sky
Feel the hatred in the air
Slip into your white robe to cover up your blackened heart
You don't become that cross you wearAnd it's all in the name of God
And it's all in the name of GodHear the newsmen talking, but they don't help me understand
No, I can't claim I comprehend
See the buildings tumbling, so I drop a knee and say a prayer
For the city that'll never ever sleep againAnd it's all in the name of God
And it's all in the name of GodAnd we all got ways to justify the things we hate
We all got our ways of throwing the first stone
But if you wanna hate, then please leave God alone"In God's Name", Dakona (from Perfect Change)
About the only real slow song on the album, and a beautifully done one. I really like narrative songs, and I like how this one addresses people using the name of God to justify all the hate that they carry out. It makes you think if you're throwing the first stone, or any stone at all. To emulate God's love is hard, but it must be done because this world is in desperate need of love.October 9, 2003, part two
Hmm... what's with all these double postings on one day? Anyway, oi mommy! Someone get me to stop spending the money I can't afford to get CDs! I have an addiction, I tell you. So sad. But anyway, I got Furthermore by Jars of Clay (very minimal, acoustic sound, sounds kinda jazzy - still going through the first disc, which is the studio disc... beautiful so far) and Perfect Change by Dakona. I so get suckered in to buying CDs of artists that have one or two good songs. For heaven sakes, I just discovered Dakona on, what, Saturday? And now I'm the proud owner of their brand spankin' new CD. Granted, it was $12.99. And granted again, Becca paid for half of the price (thanks! finally used the gift cert!), but nonetheless.Anyway, had a lovely time with Marianne today after class. We headed to Williams for lunch/afternoon coffee break and had a really nice chat about life, then we headed back to my house where I put in some Everwood (episode: "The Unveiling"... such a good ep!) for her to watch on the cruddy TV set that I have in my room. It was cool to hear that Marianne actually understood and related to the schpiel at the end of the ep, with the whole "you have no choice but to play the piano" bit. Haha... my friends clicking with my fictional ones! What a dork I am. :oD Anyway, I suppose music's kind of like that for me too - I have no choice but to listen to it and enjoy the artistry and emotion evoked from it. Making music is just beautiful.
Well, that's all for this time around. In case I don't update again before Thanksgiving, have an awesome one! Give thanks for the big things and the small things. :o) I know I do, no matter how difficult life sometimes gets.
October 9, 2003, part one
Continuous phase, here I come! Well, I dunno, I'm just being pessimistic about the two jobs I have left to hear from. They're both psych jobs right on campus, and I really don't know if I'm a suitable candidate for the job. But really, if you've never worked there, how are you supposed to gain work skills? Oh well. It's all good. God has something planned for me, right?October 8, 2003, part two
Oh YEAH! Happy anniversary to my family - 13 years in Canada today. Go us. :o) I love this awesome country!October 8, 2003, part one
Well, my first interview... went. Wasn't overly brilliant. I was actually kinda hard, thinking up what to do with each of the tutoring situations brought up. It wasn't really what I expected, but it makes sense to see what each candidate would do in these circumstances. However, the interviewer (who's actually the prof of English at Seneca) is a really nice man, so it wasn't too bad. It'd be kinda nifty though, if I ended up at the York campus (*hint hint nudge nudge* Ceci!). Hopefully it won't be King City campus. In the words of Victor in Once A Thief - "traffic... brutal." Wouldn't be surprised if I didn't get the job, but hey, I'm not going to worry about it since God's got it all planned out already.October 7, 2003
I've been listening to the two aforementioned tracks over and over these past few days. Inspires me to get on ahead with my 12-track CD dream. ;o) Anyway, before I work some more on my psych lab assignment, I just wanted to post the lyrics to "Majesty (Here I Am)". The song is absolutely gorgeous - the d:boys never disappoint.SONG OF THE MOMENT
Here I am, humbled by Your Majesty
Covered by Your grace so free
Here I am, knowing I'm a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb
Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since You laid down Your life
The greatest sacrificeMajesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed but alive in Your handsHere I am humbled by the love that You give
Forgiven so that I can forgive
So here I stand
Knowing that I'm Your desire
Sanctified by glory and fire
And now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since You laid down Your life
The greatest sacrificeMajesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed but alive in Your hands
Singing Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by Your love
In the presence of Your Majesty
MajestyWe're singing Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
And I'm nothing but alive in Your hands
We're singing Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by Your love
In the beauty of Your Majesty
Majesty"Majesty (Here I Am)", Delirious? (from World Service)
October 5, 2003
It all started last Wednesday, after SPCOM. I decided to try it out. It's not like I haven't done it before, but it had never lasted for more than two or three days. I think it'll be a good change for me, at least for the time being. Six days is definitely a pretty good record for me, and I do plan to show up during Thanksgiving with it still going strong.No folks, you have NOT guessed it. Well, maybe you have, if you've seen me in the past few days. But I am attempting to keep my hair curly as long as possible! I always hate the way it looks after I've slept on it for two days, and would be too lazy to redo it. But hey, God gave me natural, super wavy locks for a reason, right? And I definitely am getting tired of pulling it into a pony tail all the time. So boring. Might as well as put the mousse I bought on sale in Ottawa to use. ;o)
If you can't tell, I am trying desperately to think of something to write here, although nothing much interesting is happening in my life. Umm... let's see. I'm surfing MP3.com right now - downloaded a recommended track from Dakona called "Good" just now. They have a pretty good sound... I'd like to hear more from them. Besides, they're CANADIAN. Gotta support them Canucks! OH! And the d:boys have uploaded a new track too - "Majesty (Here I Am)" is officially up for download. Yay!
Okay, I'm gonna give "Good" a few more spins and then read the much dreaded biopsych. Take care all!
October 4, 2003
Short and sweet. Put up a new section on my page - the Five Point Reviews - a condensed version of the album reviews that already exist. I started on it since Ottawa, and it's been a labour of love. Check 'em out!October 3, 2003
So I voted for the first time yesterday in the Ontario provincial elections. Personally, I don't think any of the parties had a strong platform, but I nonetheless chose a party that had the best offerings. Okay, so I'll just flat out say that I voted NDP. I'm a socialist at heart. :o) And I want my tuition lowered by 10%! Unfortunately, that won't happen since Dalton McGuinty is now in power. I hope he doesn't mess things up, being a rookie at this game of being premiere.Moving on, I got another rejection and one interview today. I wished the rejection was for Seneca and the interview was for MAREP, but no. I guess I'm bound to doing jobs that aren't psych related for a while! Well, I still have 5 jobs to wait for, and most of them are psych related. Here's hoping! Interestingly enough, my sister said, "yeah, you're not getting the MAREP job because I didn't... well, if could be different." How encouraging and correct she is! Right...
Well, that's all for now. I'm gonna find some things to waste my time on before heading off to dinner with Jasmine today before CCF. Take care all!
October 1, 2003
A new month has dawned, are you tired of your regular diet of KD... ANYWAYS! Finished my informative speech today! Even sat through the replay of my speech (whoa... I sound different to you than I do to myself!) Man I speak soft! I hope it's not a plugged-ear problem or something, because I thought I spoke loud enough. Anyway, it's over, and the waiting for marks has started. Totally fine with me. No more practicing that annoying speech! Anyway, today's SPCOM class was interesting... ran it ourselves since the instructor went away on a family emergency. I suppose it went relatively well, despite the video equipment troubles. I hope we don't need to redo anything. That would suck.Speaking of suck, that reminds me of Seth from The O.C. What a cute geek! Since I don't have a TV, I'm reading fanfics again to entertain myself after a hiatus of about a month. Why do writers have to be so good at their craft? Reading that stuff is definitely a guilty pleasure for me. Stop inspiring me to write stories, people! :oP Anyway, back to Seth, some of the O.C. writers are just so GOOD at pinning his dorky nuances down. I LOVE it! My housemates must think I'm a big dork when I'm smiling at my computer while I'm reading these awesome stories. Oh well... I do consider myself a dork, which I think I mentioned before. Of course, I'm also missing my Ephram (hey, Stephanie, we need to talk about them sometime! just look old times...) - how can anyone resist that Ephram? And Bosco... man, how ARE you doing after the whole shoot out? Haha... my fictional friends. Gotta love them! Ahh... fanfic, what would I do without you?
Election's tomorrow. I think all the parties aren't up to par, but hey, I'd like to say I voted and like Jasmine said, I can complain about whoever gets voted in (preferably not the party I vote for) because I actually contributed! Being a student under the Tories regime, you can probably deduce which party I will NOT vote for. It's about time we saw some new people take over... a long time coming.
Dined with Agnes at Harvey's and walked home in that nasty cold wind and rain (how about that cold? need to bring my parka with me next time... maybe get some thermal underwear now that I actually have to pay for utilities on my own). Slacked off all night with fic reading and listening to BNL. Think I better read some of my biopsych before tomorrow rolls along. I hope I won't fall half asleep again and scribble indecipherable notes! Reminds me of Loewi, on page 69 of the text. Funny guy. Oh and Cecilia, during sermon a few weeks ago (sorry... hehe... I seriously thought of you!). Anyway... looking forward to going home during Thanksgiving... less than two weeks away.
Take care kids, and get out there and vote tomorrow if you can!