November 25, 2002
Man... the message given at The Embassy today needs to be given so much more times nowadays, especially with the youth. I can't agree more that the media bombards us with the notion that sex is the most pleasurable thing on earth, and that you should do it whenever you can. What happened to chastity? What happened to sex only in marriage? What is wrong with the world today?
It's such a tragedy to see sex portrayed so wrongly in the world today, and so many people suffering as a result of it. I'm so glad that God hasn't given me this pressure in my life yet - I really have no idea how I would deal with it. I guess like Brandon said tonight, this is a good time to set my standards. That would be abstinence until marriage. Not when I'm going steady, not even when I'm engaged. When I'm married. And I'll trust that it will be worth it, which I am quite sure.
I'm glad The Embassy brings up such a relevant topic to the university crowd. Maybe not really relevant to me, but hey, we'd have to admit that we get influenced by sex a heck of a lot through the media.
Well, that's my two cents on the subject.
SONG OF THE MOMENT
Turn out the light
Just say goodnight to yourself
May I remind you?
When you find you are all alone is when you
You've got to be strong
That's when they call you in the night
He's got your picture in his mind
He's got your number on a paper at his disposal anytime
Is it really true?
Could you save yourself
For someone who could love you for you?
So many times we just give it away
For someone who, someone who
You met in a bar
In the back of a car
And for a moment you felt important
But not in your heart
'Cause my self esteem, it's been low
Go 'head and count
It's been lower than low
I know the feeling of it stealing life out from underneath
'Cause I wanna learn how you save yourself
For someone who could love you for you
So many times we just give it away
For someone who couldn't even remember your name
You save yourself
For someone who loves you for you
Loves me for me
Give it away to someone who, someone who will
Cherish your name
'Cause I wanna learn how you save yourself
For someone who could love you for you
So many times we just give it away
For someone who couldn't even remember your name
You save yourself
For someone who loves you for you
Loves me for me
Give it away to someone who, someone who will
Cherish your name
Cherish your name
"Save Yourself", Sense Field (from Tonight and Forever)
This song reminded me a lot about the whole issue of people just throwing their lives away for one another. And for this song to come from a secular band is something else. Why can't people in the secular music industry just stop making music about the joys of sex and warn people of its dangers? Why won't people just smarten up and save themselves for one person? It's something I'll never understand. Anyways, I fell in love with this song when I first heard it on Roswell. It's available on the Roswell soundtrack. The chords are available on my site.
November 22, 2002
Excellent! The week is finally over. The French test and composition is over, the accounting project (which, surprise surprise, didn't turn out as horrible as I thought!), the CS quiz is over. A break from academics would be nice, but I think I'm just gonna be a party pooper and stay home to start Christmas cards and put up some decorations (consisting of a ball of yarn and one string of garland - seriously).
The house dinner to Mongonlian Grill was nice. Everyone was very full... and satisfied. I'm already planning my next stir fry in my head. What a geek I am! But I guess people who enjoy food just tend to do that. So sad...
On another note, I wrote another fanfic! A joyous occasion for fellow Third Watch fanfic readers and writers, a sad event to the rest of the world. Oh well... when you have an active imagination when it comes to TV shows, the only way to vent it out is to write it.
Well, that's the spectacular update that I'll leave you with for today. Take care and good night!
November 17, 2002
Can I please take accounting 131, beat it black and blue, stash in a radiation proof box, and bury it in another galaxy??? Oh... why the vagueness in the assignments they give in that class? The psychological torture is... torture! Unfair treatment of human beings! Okay, maybe I'm over reacting, but I'd still like to get the course over with. And to think that I have another term of accounting *fun*. The joys of life are endless.
The weekend wasn't bad, until stressful Sunday rolled in. Friday was nice, with JOY fellowship exploring a woman's role in the church. Having 3 female pastors at my home church, I think I'd be bias toward allowing woman having a significant role in the church. And the various articles we read helped strengthen my view. Besides that, the after fellowship coffee time I had with Cecilia was nice. Stayed until almost 1am at Tim Horton's (still not as late as rolling into Kingston at 3am for a stop there!) chatting about everything that's been happening (including shows... hehehe).
Saturday was shopping splurge - I swear I've filled my quota for the rest of this year! Not much of a shopper, since I take a lot from my dad with his save! save! save! philosophy. Oh, that is, save unless it's food. Then you can spend money. :o) Got some practical wear, so yeah, it's all good. Oh, and I watched "The Star of Christmas", the newest Christmas VeggieTales story. Funny and emotional (I nearly cried at the end... over a bunch of vegetables!), and funky features on the DVD! Ye Old Silly Synth... hehehe.
Then along came Sunday. Church. Sermon. Sunday School. Short term mission meeting (had to leave... boo). Home. Pack. Lunch. Baptism (left before the candidates were baptized... boo some more). I enjoyed seeing people again (and getting hugs from old friends), but I wished things could slow down more. Coming back to Waterloo just brought on more stress with accounting. I guess I just gotta deal with it. Which sucks, but is inevitable.
Maybe I'll just write some fanfic. And flunk accounting! At least I've done what I wanted... right? :oP
Anyways, later, all. Must do *something* before I sleep.
SONG OF THE MOMENT
If shame had a face I think it would kind of look like mine
If it had a home would it be my eyes?
Would you believe me if I said I was tried of all this
Now here we go, one more time
I tried to climb your steps
I tried to chase you down
I tried to see how low I could get down to the ground
I tried to earn my way
I tried to change this mind
You better believe I tried to beat this
So, when will this end?
It goes on and on, over and over and over again
Keep spinning around
I know it won't stop till I step down from this for good
I never thought I'd end up here
Never thought I'd be standing where I am
I guess I kind of thought that if would be easier than this
I guess I was wrong
Now one more time
I tried to climb your steps
I tried to chase you down
I tried to see how low I could get down to the ground
I tried to earn my way
I tried to change this mind
You better believe I tried to beat this
So, when will this end?
It goes on and on, over and over and over again
Keep spinning around
I know it won't stop till I step down from this
Sick cycle carousel
This is a sick cycle carousel
Sick cycle carousel
This is a sick cycle, yeah
So, when will this end?
It goes on and on, over and over and over again
Keep spinning around
I know it won't stop till I step down from this for good...
"Sick Cycle Carousel", Lifehouse (from No Name Face)
Accounting is a sick cycle carousel. So is life in general. When the spinning ends, and I step down from it for good, life will be sweet again...
November 11, 2002
Remembrance Day today. It seems many people don't care about what happened in the world more than 50 years ago now. How can we, in our stressful and fast-paced world, remember the youth of old, sacrificing their lives in a battle oh-so-very long ago?
Being a lover of history, especially the history of World War I and II, I can't help but think about the soldiers that fought in the war. I can't help but think of their innocence lost on the horrendous battlefield. I can't help but think that we need to learn from what happened to them, and prevent another world war from erupting. Wars destroy, and amount to nothing, in the end.
So this online poppy, and the one pinned on my peacoat, is my tribute to the fallen. It is the least I could do.
In Flanders Fields
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
- John McCrae
November 10, 2002
A look at me and you might think my spiritual life is in order. Truth is, it isn't. I struggle - a lot. The doubts have lessened over the years, and I praise God for that. But they aren't wiped out, as I had hoped they would be by this point in my walk. No doubt, though, that I've felt God's extravagant love, and the Holy Spirit moving inside.
It all boils down to Jesus. Jesus - the central figure in all of Christianity. As Brandon reinforced at Elevation today, withouth Jesus, Christianity fails. We aren't saved from our sins, and there is absolutely no hope for anyone in the world to be reconciled with God. But Jesus existed, just like other important historical figures. I'm sure a lot of us would be more readily able to accept the one-time existence Leif Ericsson, Julius Caesar, or Jeanne d'Arc.
Well, it's not that I don't believe that Jesus didn't exist. I even know that he died on the cross for my sins. But my struggle comes in the form of making it personal to me. Sure, he died for all because he loved us all. It's simple, and it's been drilled in my head. But does it have any meaning to me?
When songs like "Thank You For Saving Me", or "In Christ Alone" are heard or played, I feel a sense of hypocrisy welling up. Do I truly believe it? Or am I just going through the religious ritual motions? For me, it comes down to head and the heart. Will the knowledge in my head filter down to my heart? Or does it even matter if that occurs or not?
I guess it's good that I've acknowledged this question. It's a strange roadblock, though. I wish to kick it aside, but it doesn't seem that I can do that anytime soon. Prayer is what I need.
Well, now that I've bared my spiritual soul, I just want to share with you a song that is powerful, and speaks of Jesus' love for us. It says "I know that you don't understand the fullness of my love, how I died upon the cross for your sins. And I know that you don't realize how much that I give you. But I promise, I would do it all again." It seems that's my stand, for the time being.
Alright, I've let it out of my head. Gotta get back to studying for psych...
SONG OF THE MOMENT
I've heard it said that a man would climb a mountain
Just to be with the one he loves
How many times has he broken that promise?
It has never been done
I've never climbed the highest mountain
But I walked the hill of Calvary
Just to be with you, I'd do anything
There's no price I would not pay
Just to be with you, I'd give anything
I would give my life away
I've heard it said that a man would swim the oceans
Just to be with the one he loves
All of those dreams are an empty emotion
It can never be done
I've never swam the deepest ocean
But I walked upon the raging sea
Just to be with you, I'd do anything
There's no price I would not pay
Just to be with you, I'd give anything
I would give my life away
I know that you don't understand the fullness of my love
How I died upon the cross for your sins
And I know that you don't realize how much that I give you
But I promise, I would do it all again
Just to be with you, I've done everything
There's no price I did not pay
Just to be with you, I gave everything
Yes, I gave my life away
"Love Song", Third Day (from Third Day)
I think this song has helped me come my closest into realizing what Jesus has done out of his love for me, though I still feel a certain distance from him. The parallels Mac Powell draws in the song are tangible, and Jesus is made reachable through this song. A very powerful and emotional song.
November 9, 2002
With an impending psych midterm, I have managed to find a hilarious but slightly rude site about Canadian World Domination. Ahh... the powers of procrastination! Anyways, if you feel Canadian at all, please check out the site, because I'm sure you'll find the plans plausible and the idea totally realistic!
Made falafel today. Or attempted to make it. Truth is, I've only had falafel once, and that would be last week, stuffed inside a pita. But it tastes good. Doesn't quite make up for the lemon dill butter salmon steak on alfredo pasta that I was gonna make though. Maybe tomorrow, when I walk to Sobey's!
Anyways, I will go now, in hopes of actually starting some sort of homework that should have been started oh so long ago. Drink Tim Horton's double-double coffee, everyone. Later!
November 7, 2002
Darn, *another* psych midterm coming up. That bites. Meaning I have to study all weekend long! Not to mention a film review, CS project (Julie??? database???) and assignment, and another ACC evaluation. Homework. *sigh* Haha... Sharon's future shirt!
On a happier note, had East Side Mario's and played Risk today after a long day of classes - Alan's birthday get together. Then trekked back from Beck Hall by myself at 11pm! Hehe... so much for WalkSafe, although I felt pretty safe anyways. Much to my sister's dismay. Oh well...
Just one more class to go (tomorrow) and then the weekend begins. The fun and the joy!
November 3, 2002
My birthday was not bad. Why not happier sounding? I don't know why, but birthdays don't hold that joyful excitement anymore. I guess it's part of growing up. However, the highlight of the day would be my housemates surprising me with breakfast and a decorated house for the party. I didn't know it was coming, which was even better. If only Lion King turned out that way last year... the party was fun too. Fun cramming in 15 people in the townhouses! I really hope people enjoyed themselves.
My parents came up today, and we went out to eat at Mongolian Grill. Very interesting concept... I'd go again to make another stir fry. Maybe for lunch one day. When I'm not full to begin with. Oh yeah, my parents also bought me a new LCD screen... so now half my desk is not filled up with a monitor! That was surprising... a good surprise.
Okay, I've managed to three hours after dinner doing nothing. So much for studying for the French test tomorrow! So, I gotta go. Take care everyone! And happy early birthday to my fellow November babies (Nausheen, Eunice, Alan, Arthur, Auntie Ming-Kum, Sylvia, Alice... hope I didn't miss anyone I know!)!!!
SONG OF THE MOMENT
I will offer up my life
In spirit and truth,
Pouring out the oil of love
As my worship to You
In surrender I must give
My every part;
Lord, receive the sacrifice
Of a broken heart
Jesus, what can I give,
What can I bring
To so faithful a friend,
To so loving a King?
Savior, what can be said,
What can be sung
As a praise of Your name
For the things You have done?
Oh my words could not tell,
Not even in part
Of the debt of love that is owed
By this thankful heart
You deserve my every breath
For You've paid the great cost;
Giving up Your life to death,
Even death on a cross
You took all my shame away,
There defeated my sin
Opened up the gates of heaven
And have beckoned me in
"I Will Offer Up My Life", Matt Redman
Sang it today at Elevation. A really beautiful song about what God has done for us and what I want to give back to Him. His lavishing love is really amazing.
November 2, 2002
C'est mon anniversaire! Yay for me... 19 now. I can drink! Not that I will though, because honestly, I don't like the taste of alcohol. Except when marinaded in a chicken, Chinese style. That's yummy. Or cooked into some dish. The alcohol pretty much gone in that!
Let's see... I'll be having another shoebox making party tonight to "celebrate" my birthday. I've been thinking a lot about materialism lately. My current mentality (actually, it's been this way for a while) is that I should start being generous at a young(-ish) age. Don't want to get into the whole I'm-rich-and-I'll-buy-everything-I-want mode. I have the desire to share my riches (not that I'm super rich, but I'm rich enough, when compared to the rest of the world...) with those who need it. It's really hard though, not getting that new CD or buying that hoodie from SCH, but I really want to become a generous person. Giving. Selfless. Just like Jesus is.
Some lofty goals for my 19th year. I'd be awesome if I could think up some way to revolutionize the world in terms of infecting (gotta love that word!) people with a giving nature. Perhaps I need to start with me. Now... what can I do to share my wealth???