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The Phuck Crew and the Mystery Men. |
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One fine afternoon the phuck crew were all sittin back talkin smack (Like they tend to do) drinkin a few mackin it up with the many many hot ladies that tend to flock to these sexy guys. There was xLSCxTerenas. , The_freshmaker, Fiddlestix , Insuranceman and then there was Bezerker-Troll all sprawled out and passed out on the floor (One Too many I'd say Buddy) When all of a sudden OMG the phone rings the music stops playing and everyones eyes turn to the phone which has the sticker on it which clearly reads Ir L33t. Its rigns one two three times and Fresh is like you guys think its Gas man or the Pizza guy? Fresh says PHUCK IT and picks up the L33t phone and then says (You'll never guess what he says) Hello this is the phucks crew elite party shack where we Bone more hot babes than is even possible. On the other side of the phone line fresh hears this kinda nagging disturbing voice which says "HI MY NAMES MARN ME AND MY BUDDY RANK HAVE A QUESTION FOR YA!! IS YOUR FRIDGE RUNNING?? Fresh cuz he is the man was like and I quote of course "Hell ya its aight" , and then the voice on the other side of the phone line was tottally like "WELL YAH BETTER CATCH IT!!" Terenas Turned around at this moment to see Fresh da man's face turn like ignorant red and he rips the phone RIGHT OFF THE WALL!! It was HARDcore, boiz HARDcore . So fresh in his rage tells the phuck boiz of what just happened their rippin I mean Rippin all except Bezerker-Troll who is still kinda just passed out on the floor. So the Phuck boiz trace the call find out its only TWO streets over from where they are!! The Crew (all except Bezerker-Troll who is still passed out on the kitchen floor) quickly jump into their PHUCKIN hummer. When they arrive at the house they don't get out and open the door like civilized people no sir these guys arn't civilied their L33t as in HARDcore. Nope Fiddle who was driving just puts the pedal to the metal and just drives right through the front door/house (Doors can't fit hummers Fool). RIGHT THROUGH THE DOOR HARD! SMASH right on through they went! When they all stepped out of the Hummer o my you should of seen them in all their glory even Insurancemans Mom would of been proud and she ain't ever been proud of him! Well they look at this kid rubbing rubbing his eyes in disbelief. He was Like all coky and shit you know that type you KNOW! so The kid says " O MY Lord That was my favorite front Door ImMA hava hurt somebody and it ain't gonna be my MOM this time" Insuranceman man was tottaly like "Imma HAVA HURT YOU!!" and he starts runnign at this kid drool dripping from his mouth in all his rage. The Kid goes into a defensive postion and is LIke WAAAAAAAAAAAA "I'm U.lose and despite the name and what Everyone says I never lose!" and He yells "Shankz , Shroomie, Meeples" and three guys dressed like NINJA's Jump off the balcony of the second floor and LIke tottally took the phuck boys by surprise, These guys as recorded in teh guisness book of unofficial world record Were HARD-CORE!! Crack Snapple pop kellogs rice crispys Terenas was the first to be hit and dropped before he even knew what hit him! (See below to see a actually picture of the look on T's face). |
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The three ninja dudes were swinging FROZEN TURKEYS!! Don't ask me why maybe they thought they were cool or sumthin but thats besides the point! Fresh started swinging but also went down to the awesome might of the frozen turkey badass swinging, Momma back breakin Ninja's. Meanwhile Iman was pounding on U.lose as he calls himself and had him in a headlock and everything when the three Ninja's decide its in their best interest to focus their awesome might into one and take down this machine called Isuranceman. So they start WHALIN on him with their HARDcore turkeys, It must of took them a good ten minutes but Iman finally fell asleep (Yes asleep he must of been tired or sumthing, he does'nt like to talk about it). Fiddlestix who was the only one still standing just got this real HARDcore pissed off look his face and started to twitch. You see he was remembering back to one thanksgiving day when he was just a little one and he asked his grandma "Granma will I be able to eat tonight?" and his Grandma said "Damn you new ages NINhindu kids I'll teach you a lesson you won't soon forget greedy guts!!" then she started to whoop him with the turkey she WAS JUST ABOUT TO COOK!! Thats HARD-core. Well you can Imagine the emotions this stirred up in our poor little fiddlestix, he just started to scream then ran full speed after the crazy bad ass ninjas who proceeded to run for their lives, Fiddle tripped fell on his face and knocked himself out HARD.(What did you think he was gonna save the day again?).
Meanwhile back at the phuck crew's Fort Bezerker-Troll was just waking up when he saw a note which said and quote "Gone to whoop som ass Bez, theres ego's in the freezer for supper, were at 182 Whoopass Drive if you need us". Bezerker-Troll was like "HOLY MACORONNI I know that PLACE!!! He then ate some ego's sat down and started to watch some Porn or something I DUNNO I WAS'NT THERE...God. Meanwhile back at 182 Whoopass Drive the phuck crew were all tied up in the basement. When Terenas suddenly realized "HEY I'm not tied up!" Fiddlestix was like yes you are Big-T" and Terenas was Like "Damn so I am". So they began to use to uber skillz of gettin "outta of a jam" so guess what they got out of their jam!!! The secret of how they did is simple. Insuranceman was in Boy scouts for 3 weeks and learned how to untie tights I think. So they all decided it was time for revenge and just charged staight up those stairs ready for action. Well you should of seen it the PHUCK crew charged in there and started layin the smack down on those mystery men who are no longer a mystery. The battle almost seemed like it would last forever but lord behold they guess who they all seen outside yup it was Bezerker-Troll and guess what he was doing yup your right he was outside layin his on smackdown, but on Tillerman the worlds ugliest kid to ever walk the earth!! (ITs true look for yourself to the right >>). |
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Well the mystery men and the sexy phuck crew quickly forgot their own quarels went out side and all started to whoop on Tillerman!! Tiller was Like "Who are you guys I was just walking my dog and you this guy jumped me WHAAAA" They all said at once like some freaky power rangers thing or sumthin "Were the baddest of the bad, coolest of the cool and the butter on your roll. They beat on Tillerman a bit more who vowed to get revenge... who knows will tiller the weiner boy ever get revenge?? Only time will tell!!!
THE END |
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