high for the very last time... by PhScKo 
posted on april 30, 2002 at 8:35 p.m.

guess who's high everyone? you it's me.. yup for the last time though.. don't cry for me i'm already dead.. sorry simpsons quote... yes mom came with some candy bars.. a hundred grand and a mars bar.. YUM.. they are exactly what i needed.. sugar is good for my health... well when i crave it of course... i love sugar woohoo.. anyways.. only thing that sucks that sugar burns my throat and i get thirsty... and thirst ruins highness.. urg.. and then cereal wants in tummy and that's never good.. cause it tastes sooo good... how do the working people know how many calories go in a chocolate bar.. we could be getting more or less of what it says in the package.. yes i'm the only one that cares about this stuff... even when i'm sober i think things up like this.. i know i'm weird.. sue me... alison would think that was weird.. when you come back alison i'll try to remember to let you see this blog so you can see that i am weird and then i can finally win.. and today is tuesday and i don't miss you.. so ha ha ha ha.. see.. told ya i wouldn't miss ya.. ::dances to a funky beat:: sorry i'm listening to chillin music a band called jimmie's chicken shack.. good bunch of guys.. awesome songssssss.. ::sings:: even when i'm high my voice sounds damn good.. and i think it gets sexier cause i talk all weirdish.. plus i can feel the sexyness when i talk.. anyhow back to my highness ladies and gentlemen.. i know told you guys that i was wrong about what i weigh.. stupid damn piece of shit weight thingy at my house is broken.. so like 10 pounds it was taking off so now i weigh 126.. so that means i gotta lose 6 more pounds to weigh 120.. damn me.. and i'm craving papa johns pizza.. yummy mushroom or ham or mushroom and ham or supreme.. ok enough of food.. yum.. food.. don't you all love pizza? it's one of my fav. foods ever.. but i will only eat pizza from certain places.. pizza hut pizza is a no no.. that place makes the nastiest pizza ever.. dominoes is a lil suckier.. then comes lil ceasars that's ok sometimes.. then sbarro's that place has awesome pizza, totino's frozen pizza.. and tony's and french bread pizza, all those rule too. ok i need to stop thinking about pizza.. i haven't had any in like 2 weeks.. or 3.. i forget.. i need pizza now. before i croak.. ok i think i will now go.. so i can chill.. have fun everyone.. and my highness i will try to enjoy.. take carez.. peace, love, unity and good karma to those who deserve it.. wait to hell with it, today i'm high even those who don't deserve it should be honored to recieve good karma... but this is a one time thing.. so enjoy it while it lasts! hasta manana.. bye byez...
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school is stupid by PhScKo 
posted on april 30, 2002 at 4:35 p.m.

something is too odd.. i went to print out my schedule for next semester and it now turns out it's a 6 week class and it starts on may 13 not on the 17th.. school better get their dates and stuff right before i bust them in the fuckin head! i'm so blah.. i'm weak right now and don't know why.. i need some energy but where to get it from? anyhow i'm soooo bored.. i could probably just probably stay watching the ceiling or better yet starring at this computer screen... nothing to do right now.. i don't feel like reading cause my eyes would probably burst out... now that i picked up my room i feel less depressed, odd huh? i guess the energy wasn't freely running in and out of the room or something.. i guess now it is and that's always a good thing.. and tomorrow is finally may... hopefully may will bring forth greatness right? we'll have to wait and see.. a new month always means we can start anew and with more positivity.. something bad did happen in may though.. long time ago.. may 12th 1985 was when my grandmother passed away, yes i was young at the time but i remember that day vividly.. or at least from when i heard the news.. i will never forget it.. i didn't understand it as well at the time but i knew what death meant.. it meant never again seeing that person that i love.. but shit happens right? now i must go.. i think i've said enough.. when i blog again i will probably be high off my ass so hope you laugh with me.. peace, love, unity and the good karma to those who deserve it.. bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

what today really signifies... by PhScKo 
posted on april 30, 2002 at 1:17 p.m.

well i know you are all dying to know what today means right? well first of all today is my cousin carlos's b-day.. he's in jail.. well he was "caught" with drugs but he was framed in a way.. i can't explain it.. well he's in jail in georgia so that sucks... they gave him 10 years.. that's sad.. anyhow but today is not really about that.. it does mark the anniversary of the last time i ever did cocaine... the year was 1996, senior year.. i was only 17 back then.. long time ago huh? 6 years ago like around this time actually was the last time i took that drug.. scary huh? well that's one of the reason's this day is big and now the other anniversary that will take place will be the last day i ever do drugs period.. today is the last time i take weed... yup, it's not a bad drug or anything but i don't want drugs in my system anymore.. i'm through with it.. i want to live life as reality all the time so i won't miss out on the good or bad.. or both.. or none.. so tonight i will inhale my last smoke of weed and that's that.. so now you can all rest better knowing right? anyhow... that's all i really needed to talk about... i will blog later, probably 2 more times.. one without being high and then the other being high so you can take the last taste of my highness blog style.. now i will go.. oh by the way i bought a tears for fears millennium cd.. god i love them.. they sooo rule.. but anyways now i must depart, i'm gonna go see my darling nephew and niece.. take carez peeps.. catch you laterz.. bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

the month's end... by PhScKo 
posted on april 30, 2002 at 7:53 a.m.

finally the last day of this wretched month... i had commented to my bestfriend that nothing really bad has ever happened to me in april's.. well i guess i was wrong.. oh well.. today has meaning though.. and i'll explain to you in a later blog.. i feel so blah tired today but i don't understand why.. i think i slept pretty good.. i don't even remember most of my dreams.. they probably sucked that's probably why i don't remember them... i gotta get a damn money order today to pay for stupid credit card.. urg.. i hate credit cards.. but i hate a lot of things so go figure.. well not hate but dislike.. today is gonna suck though cause jimi is going to the doctor with lisa to see if he needs more medicine for that stupid post nasal drip crap.. so that means i will be bored in this hell hole.. i should fix up my room but i'm definitely not up to it.. but if you peeps want you can come over and do em for me.. i'll be glad to let you just take over... well now i will go.. just wanted to say hi in the morning.. expect a blog in the noonish time or a little later.. i'll explain there what today signifies.. and whateva.. have fun, peace, love, unity, and good karma to those who deserve it, laterz... ------------------------------------------------------

bored mostly... by PhScKo 
posted on april 29, 2002 at 7:56 p.m.

yup i'm bored so that's why i'm blogging.. i'm thinking again.. i hate when i do that.. i just keep retracing things in my mind... pondering what could be or could of been and all that junk... i'm even pondering what life would be like if i killed myself.. i don't know why i honestly am thinking about things like that but i am.. guess boredom will do that to ya... i start class on may 17. big whoop. i honestly don't care anymore.. it's not it's gonna enrich my damn life... yes i'm cranky too.. sue me.. i posted a new pic on my about me page.. not great pic but then again i haven't been photogenic since i was like 5. it's cold in my damn room.. it was hot earlier but i guess as soon as nightfall comes the temperature likes to drop down like crazy... you know what's scary and i just came up with this on my own.. there has only been one chick that has turned me on with her spanish... i just sort of remembered that.. it's quite funny... random.. but true.. but the chick is uhm.. what the word.. uhm.. "evil".. yup that's exactly the word... anyhow that's enough of my thinking i'm tired.. tired of thinking, living, breathing and all that other crap that happens without any kind of joy... well take carez everyone only way i'm blogging again today is if something significant happens that requires blogging.. otherwise catch you all tomorrow.. peace, love, unity and all that good karma but only to those who deserve it.. bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

murder by numbers by PhScKo 
posted on april 29, 2002 at 3:21 p.m.

it is affirmative.. we went to see murder by numbers and it was pretty good.. at times even sandra bullock looked good but that's not the point.. well i'm sweating.. stupid hot florida sun.. but i guess i have to suffer through it like everyone else who lives in this place.. at least it doesn't get to 100 here.. or at least it hasn't in like zillion of years.. i think i lived through it being 98 once.. but that was back in the day i think when i was a young.. i'm thinking if i should do the last of my weed today or tomorrow.. but i'm sooo undecided... today is monday and nothing great is on tv but tomorrow there will be no 24 or andy richter so maybe tomorrow will be the best time.. well in any case tomorrow is the last time i do drugs ever again.. drugs are bad for the soul... i think.. or maybe that's what i want to tell myself.. all i really want is a girl.. you know.. someone i can be with and chill with and just relate to me with privlages of course.. like for instance kisses and cuddling, hugging and the big one, SEX!!! i can have sex without meaning though but i want it to mean something ya know.. anyhow now i'm gonna go.. i don't think i'll blog again today but who knows maybe i'll surprise you people and maybe not, guess you'll have to tune in and see.. catch you laterz.. maybe.. peace, love, unity and the good karma to those who deserve it.. bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

movies.. i think... by PhScKo 
posted on april 29, 2002 at 9:37 a.m.

well today me and jimi are gonna go watch murder by numbers.. well or so we agreed to.. the movie starts at 12:15 so hopefully we will... i will keep you all up to date if we did or not.. i had another weird dream last night.. this time the "evil" person wasn't in it.. but it was odd.. the dream featured my car having the lights on and running over night cause my mom kept it on.. it was weird and then jimi's girlfriend katie was here and we were in lisa's house and we were gonna go somewhere. well there was more to the dream but i don't want to discuss it cause i don't want to.. so HA! now i'm gonna go.. gotta do some stuff before going to movies.. catch you all laterz.. peace, love, unity and good karma to those who deserve it, laterz... ------------------------------------------------------

weird dream by PhScKo 
posted on april 28, 2002 at 4:46 p.m.

well i'm back everyone.. i didn't play scrabble cause someone was being an ass and it wasn't lisa.. anyhow so instead she took me to subway, i didn't eat though, just talked to her and watched her eat and then we went to winn-dixie and i finally have my discount card so i won't get charged stupid prices.. anyways i should tell you all the dream i had.. i don't remember most of it anymore but it involved the "evil" person.. this person knows who she is.. but i will not say who she is.. but the word evil has those letters in her name.. anyhow the point is the dream was funny in a sense cause that "evil" person was trying to do bad stuff to me... i don't remember the stuff anymore but it involved me having to do something.. i don't quite remember and then she had her boyfriend there.. it was quite funny actually cause she kept trying so hard to mess with me in the dream and it never worked cause in the dream my bestfriend told her off and so did i few other people that were there and so did alison.. she was in my dream for like a few seconds.. then she dissapered as did my bestfriend and everyone else that was in it, even the evil chicks boyfriend.. then after all that the evil person kept trying hard to make me mad and then she ended up giving up on it and she put her arm around me.. it was weird i rejected her in the dream and was like whateva at everything she would say or do.. when i woke up from the dream i was laughing my ass off.. i was like ha ha not even in my dreams she can piss me off.. it's classic.. anyways i just wanted to share that dream with all of you since i found it amusing.. i don't hate that evil person but she is annoying and fucked up in the head.. if she "hates" me as she says then why the fuck does she come on my site? well lets see the only thing i can come up with is because she's crazy.. or wants me.. or is just fucked up.. anyways now i will go i don't think i will blog later cause i say so... so have fun and see you all tomorrow, peace, love, unity and that great ass karma to those who deserve it, adios... ------------------------------------------------------

wal-mart.. by PhScKo 
posted on april 28, 2002 at 2:18 p.m.

going to wal-mart with my mother bring my blood pressure swinging through the roof.. i never learn my lesson do i? i just keep on going.. well i guess it's because i need food... anyhow i hate going out alone.. yes i'm weird like that, sue me... i'm eating lunch now.. a roast beef sandwich from wal-mart.. they rule. i love them.. i always buy one when i go there.. god my back is killing me more than ever today cause i decided to do a massage on my back myself, well i think i made it worse.. now i'm in more pain and it's very uncomfortable.. oh my god i had the most weirdest dream yesterday.. it was about the "evil" person.. yes this "evil" person likes to come and see my site but they do it in a sneaky way.. well anyhow i'll tell you that dream later cause now i'm gonna finish up eating so i can help my mom with one of those contraptions that she bought and then i'm gonna swing over to lisa's house to play scrabble.. i hope i can beat her again.. it's sooo much fun when i beat her, since she's smart and reads and knows big words.. so hope you tune in for the dream later.. it is pretty funny.. i just hope i remember it.. completely.. well now i must depart, peace, unity, and good karma to those who deserve it... bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

i'm back! by PhScKo 
posted on april 27, 2002 at 8:28 p.m.

well i'm back from jimi's house.. i'm sooo tired.. and there's nothing to watch on tv today, urg.. oh well nothing i can do.. me and him had a fun time as usual, but then again when don't we? we shot the bull for a while and stuff, nice.. i can't think of anything to talk about.. well expect that i had a cool chorus for a song but now i can't remember it.. i should of written it down when it was running through my head but you know me and how freakin lazy i am.. so sue me right? oh well.. now i'm gonna try to watch tv and wait for "dreamland" to come on which is a radio show.. if anyone wants to hear it they can just go to dreamland website it's cool and stuff just check it out if you're willing and stuff.. oh on a "sad" note ms. alison is in cancun how i will miss her, she'll be gone a week.. hope she's having some good ass fun... well i don't think i'll miss her that much.. if i do you will all be told so.. see she thinks i'm gonna miss her.. so i'll just show her that i won't so HA! in ur face sucka! well now i must go.. i'm bored, tired and i might just chill and look at myself in the mirror to amuse myself, so catch you all tomorrow, don't miss me too much ok? well peace, unity, and good karma to those who deserve it... bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

finallllly!!! by PhScKo 
posted on april 27, 2002 at 2:18 p.m.

what's up everyone.. finally no more stupid web design class.. i'm free from it.. anyhow what's up everyone? nothing much over here other than i'm bored to tears.. i should fix my room up but i'm sooo lazy that i'm probably gonna leave it either for later or tomorrow, next week or next year, lol.. sorry 311 song.. anyhow i'm waiting for jimi to respond to my great page that i sent him so we can clarify what me and him are gonna be doing laterz... hopefully have a nice talk, chill and maybe even eat dinner but i have no idea if that will happen since my hunger has diminished... i did eat lunch today though, roast beef sandwich, yum.. well enough blogging for now.. i'll catch you all laterz.. and don't forget peace, love, unity and all that good karma for those who deserve it... laterz... ------------------------------------------------------

stupid back pain! by PhScKo 
posted on april 27, 2002 at 8:14 a.m.

another goodnight's sleep has hit the horizon.. thank goodnesss... i needed one of those again.. i want to take a nice shower but nooo my grandfather is in the bathroom doing god knows what... fuck i really need to shower, get ready and then start on my abs... and my back is not cooperating today.. it's acting worse.. i really am in dire need of a massage and fast... but whateva, there's nothing i can do for the time being.. well today is my last day of my web design class.. i'll remind myself never to take another saturday class again.. they are worthless... i'm probably gonna hang with my bestfriend jimi today.. i like when me and him have our nice talks.. they are fun and plus he's the best... but we all know that now didn't we? i'm sooo beat, do i honestly expect to have a good time in class today? all answers point to NO! urg.. thank goodness today is the last day.. i would not want to suffer another damn week in that horrible class with the dummiest group of people... ok i shouldn't be mean.. but whateva i never claimed to be nice now did i? well i think the old man is out of the bathroom now so i'm gonna go shower. don't think sexy thoughts of me people or i will have to kill you all, catch you all laterz.. adios... ------------------------------------------------------

fizz demon am i... by PhScKo 
posted on april 26, 2002 at 6:09 p.m.

isn't that a piece of art or what? the very talented alison feliz made this picture possible when she took it.. seriously though isn't it chillin? i honestly think it's awesome... see alison i aint crazy.. just a lil loopy.. anyways alison is a new friend of sorts, she's cool so it's all good.. she also decided to nickname me fizz demon and wrote this as a song of sorts, well more like a jingle..
"fizz demon help my pepsi's flat. fizz demon to rescue, everybody must wonder what it's like to be her!" she's on crack i know.. i thought it was funny.. so i'm a superhero now and i'm looking out for flat pepsi, so watch out because i'll be coming around your house, snooping around, i mean.. being a good superhero.. rightttt... anyways enough of that.. i'm not really in the mood to blog no more though so i'll go.. if i'm up to blogging again later i will but i doubt it, i'm very tired and in a thinking mood and plus i had a final today i'm beat!!!! well catch you all some other time.. and alison thanks again for letting me post your masterpiece up, i'm sure everyone else appreciates it too... well peace, love, unity and all that good ass karma to those people who deserve it, bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

yo! by PhScKo 
posted on april 26, 2002 at 9:05 a.m.

yo everyone.. today is final test day for mwf classes.. i hope i do ok.. and by ok i mean a b or c... d's and f's are not allowed today.. anyhow just wanted to let you all know what was up.. i have nothing really to talk about.. well i guess to say that my nephew will be 9 months today at 3p.m. he is sooo adorable.. i love him to death... i remember when he was born.. i couldn't help but just stare at him.. i did that for like 30 min. too.. i was alone just looking at him.. i didn't get tired... i was just observing him and stuff.. i felt so much love when he was born.. it was a great thang.. anyhow no more mush.. time to go.. have fun everyone.. peace, love, and the good karma to those whom deserve it.. laterz... ------------------------------------------------------

oh well.. by PhScKo 
posted on april 25, 2002 at 7:59 p.m.

Which Evil Criminal are You? well anything is possible isn't it? charles manson of all people.. oh well.. not that i really care anyways.. i was bored so i took the test.. now sue me.. i got lissy borden once.. i guess it depends on my mood on which person i get.. scary.. ::yawns:: i'm sooo tired.. i feel crappy... i feel like getting high soooo high.. but i shouldn't.. since i have my final test tomorrow, i should kind of have a clear head.. but i don't know what i'm gonna do.. i don't know many things right now.. i'm listening to chicago right now.. yes i'm depressing myself or something.. well actually i was just in the mood for them.. i went to see my nephew and niece earlier.. my nephew is soo cute.. he gets so happy when he sees me.. i guess he must love me or something.. he laughs sooo cute too.. he was saying tata to me the whole time.. well that's what he calls me so go figure.. well everyone tomorrow is the last day of mwf classes.. and saturday is the end of all class till may whateva.. i'll miss my teacher mr. mormon.. he's one of the best teachers i've ever had.. maybe one day i can take his physical anthropology class, if they actually don't cancel it.. anyhow now i must head off.. time for friends/smackdown i don't know how i will juggle that... if friends is new obviously i'll watch that.. well take care everyone and let the good karma be with you if you're cool like that and deserve it.. bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

hmm... by PhScKo 
posted on april 25, 2002 at 5:46 p.m.

hmm... is it possible to go crazy because your crazy? i've been pondering that thought for days now... maybe even a month... it's just a weird thought.. but of course i have weird thoughts like that swarming through my brain endlessly... can i ever end it... probably not... how do we cure ourselves from the thoughts that disturb our minds? guess we can't.. sometimes i wish i had esp, the world would be so much easier then.. reading everyone's thoughts and what they really think about you... cause people lie, they lie because it's fun to them or because they just don't know how to stop... or whateva... hmm.. ok that was an odd train of thoughts that i just let out.. anyways i posted up a song yesterday that i found... i actually sort of like it.. weird i know.. but who carez... ::sighs:: i wish i wouldn't think so much.. thinking is bad for my health, keeps me up at night in wonderment.. that can't be good for the soul.. or maybe it shapes it.. what do you think? i wish i had the answers but i know nothing.. i am just a spec of energy in this field of things... i'm insignificant and just taking up space... ::sighs:: i need to stop thinking.. it's putting me down.. i probably need some peace.. but where do i find it? meditating helps but only while i meditate and drugs just ease the pain... hmm.. let me think.. you know what, fuck it.. life sucks we die whateva.. so thinking has to be part of it right? it makes us stronger right? i guess.. i think.. hmmm.. now i'm talking to myself aren't i? oh god lisa is not asking but "telling" me i'm gonna go to lunch with her and jimi tomorrow to sweet tomatoes.. ha.. fat chance that's happening.. i'm never hungry anymore so what's the point in going? now she says she's gonna take drastic measures if i don't go.. damn am i that lovable? does everyone want to be with me or something? guess so.. well on that note i'm ending this blog.. i don't know if i'll blog later.. if i do i'm sure you'll enjoy it.. so peace, love, unity and that great ass good karma to those who deserve it.. bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

good morning vietnammmmmm!!!! by PhScKo 
posted on april 25, 2002 at 8:28 a.m.

i've always wanted to shout that.. how about you? it's from the movie good morning vietnam... anyways this is my totem animal... well all of them.. my main one is a goose... when i went to the stupid county fair down here one of the gooses that was in his or her cage starting like talking to me.. well not literally but in their way of "communicating" it's like it knew it was my spirit animal.. it was quite a cool experience... anyhow i woke up quite refreshed this morning.. i hardly remember any of my dreams but i know why.. last night i decided to get high.. yes i know.. shame on me.. but i only have a few more days left anyways, so i have to get rid of it.. anyways but at least i slept like a baby... the weird thing is before i got high i was like totally hyper.. i think stacker 2 made that happen, then i totally mellowed out with the weed.. but enough about drugs... urg.. today i have to keep doing my crappy project for web design class... i'm glad this class is ending.. i just don't like the aura in that class... it feels like stinging as ralph from the stinging would say.. or something of that sorts.. i also have to place gas on my mothers car.. what greatness.. damn lazy mom.. can't even put gas in her own car.. ok no more rantings cause i'm in a good mood.. i might get a slurpee today if i'm not so lazy.. maybe that will help me not be all bugged up about the stupid web design class... anyways now i will go.. gotz to get started on my abs.. how else will girls line up from miles around to view my great tummy.. catch you all laterz.. adios... ------------------------------------------------------

will the real monkey please stand up! by PhScKo 
posted on april 24, 2002 at 7:20 p.m.

so can you guys guess who the monkey is? i'll leave that one up to you peeps.. do you know how much i hate george w? well a whole damn lot! i wish that loser wouldn't of had his brother jeb rig the election down here.. but stupid ass had to so now we are stuck with crap for like 3 more years... urg... but enough about him.. i'm listening to stp.. you gotta love them.. scott weiland's voice is magical... he's got this mysterious/deep/high voice.. something i try to mimic at times but never comes out right anymore.. i don't have a deep voice.. and my high voice is just dead.. i can talk mysterious and in a sexual tone but i don't want to get any of you horny... yes i've gotten many chicks horny with my voice.. i don't know why.. they are just dumb i guess.. go figure... it's like when they talk to me on the phone they are all like wow your voice is sooo sexy and blah blah and then they'll bust out with that it turns em on.. it's just odd and scary... my voice sounds like crap.. but hey if it gets the job done, i'm down with that, don't ya think? you know what though i haven't "turned on" a chick in like months so i guess i'm in a dry spell.. oh well.. sue me.. i don't feel like turning anyone on.. i just want to chill out and stuff.. ok enough about chicks.. let me talk about uhm... sex? j/k... i feel so much better now.. i was soooo blahish before cause i felt soooo dizzy.. i hate feeling dizzy.. i don't know what's wrong with me.. i used to think i was dying.. but i think the gods just want me to suffer.. lol.. righttt... gods my ass.. ok am i just rambling now? hmm.. i think i am.. oh well this is my blog and i can do whatever the fuck i want... hell i can say fuck a zillion times and no one can say otherwise, so HA! in your face suckersssssss... ok now i'm hyper.. i'm sooo happy cause today my singing voice is greattttt.. i am hitting the notes perfectly and i'm in perfect harmony.. i love those kinds of days... makes me proud... you know what's odd i found a song i had written in january. and it's pretty good.. i think i wrote it while i was high so that's why i probably don't remember it... i do lotz of weird things when i'm high.. like go on ebay and bid on stuff.. oh wait i do that when i'm not high too... go figure... ebay is sooo addicting.. don't ya think? well i think i've blogged enough for today.. hmm.. blogged bloged.. i'm gonna use the b-l-o-g-g-i-n-g spelling of it better.. it looks cooler don't ya think? well now i'm gonna let you all go.. i'm sure you've had enough of me for today.. catch you all manana.. peace, love, unity, hornyness and of course that great, delicious, yummy, beautiful karma to those who deserve it.. bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

stupid car, urg... by PhScKo 
posted on april 24, 2002 at 6:00 p.m.

oh yeah my car is at it again.. guess what is wrong with it now.. give up? the damn freakin breaks.. damn stupid freakin car.. what is up with that? stupid person jinxing my car... i might know who it is.. "the bitch" but we aint gonna talk about her... she repulses me.. stupid whore! ok i'm better now.. i went over to jimi's house to talk to him and stuff cause i wanted to and "stuff".. anyhow we had a nice talk like usual... i wish katie lived here.. that's his girlfriend of course of 5 damn years but she has to live in stupid ohio.. she's soooo much fun and plus she's got big boobie's what else can anyone ask for in a chick? lol.. anyhow i miss katie, she's just so damn chillin.. well i guess we all can't have what we want.. hell i would love if sunny lived down here but she has to be in california.. damn her.. but i know she wants to come down here and visit me.. that's cause she loves me sooooo much.. well and i love her.. she's my bestest friend online.. she's going through a tough time though with one of her friends who got hit by a fuckin car and he's injured really seriously.. i just hope the dude gets through it alright, cause i can't stand to see sunny all sad.. i can't stand any of my friends being sad, it's just wrong... anyways i've ranted a bit there.. i had to get all of that off my chest.. expect me to blog again, but don't know when.. but i will so stay tuned folks.. take carez peace, love, unity and all that juicy yummy good karma to all those who deserve it.. adios... ------------------------------------------------------

tireddddddd... by PhScKo 
posted on april 24, 2002 at 2:50 p.m.

hey everyone, what's up? nothing much, just sleepy, tired and stuff.. i was working on my stupid final project my my web design class.. i'm not done but i did part of it.. now i'm bored.. can't see my nephew or niece cause they are both napping and i'm not gonna go out anywhere else cause i'm fairly tired... what i do feel like doing is getting high right now.. i have so much tension, plus maybe that would help me sleep.. i might do some tonight, just depends on my mood. cause you have to be in the mood to do weed. but you peeps already knew that right? i think i'll probably blog again tonight or in the evening but i really don't have a time frame.. so catch you all laterz hopefully, bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

sleep? ha! by PhScKo 
posted on april 24, 2002 at 7:56 a.m.

i have no idea what is wrong with me but i'm certainly going back into that not sleeping well pattern.. urg.. i hate it.. i need to sleep so i can be at my best and since i can't take naps cause i won't fall asleep i'm screwed.. it's like i have this uneasiness in me when i go to bed.. and there is nothing i can do to calm it. it pisses me off too cause i love to sleep, it's like my national pastime.. it's probably the only time where i can dream about what i can't have and so on... and now my body is rejecting sleep? how in the hell is that possible? ::yawns:: wow i'm dead tired... i probably slept like 3 hours.. i call that crap... anyhow sorry for ranting but i get cranky when i don't sleep well... ok let me not rant anymore.. lets just talk about uhm.. well that settles it.. i can't even think.. i sort of feel like writing a song right now or even singing but i know if i do either i'll suck at it right now.. sorry for not bloging yesterday night.. i thought i was going to but some "stuff" came up and when i realized what time it was it was time for 24 and 24 is too important to me... and they aren't giving it next week, what will i do? ::freaks out:: ok i'm calm now.. anyhow i'll probably blog when i get home, i'll probably have things on my mind, depending.. but i'll blog anyways.. well now i'll go cause i am too tired.. and plus i have to start on my abs.. catch you laterz.. peace, love, unity, and the good karma to those who deserve it.. laterz... ------------------------------------------------------

these wretched cramps! by PhScKo 
posted on april 23, 2002 at 4:36 p.m.

hey again peeps... i have stupid cramps now.. i hate getting my period.. urg.. and i'm not even having kids.. i'm gonna adopt though.. OUCH!!! sorry the pain is horrible.. if only guys got these pains.. but no.. they get off scotch free.. anyhow i went to lunch with lisa but i didn't eat with her.. she took me to 7-11 and i got one of those raspberry/blueberry or whateva slurpee's yum... anyhow i drank that while she ate kfc... yuk.. kfc is too greasy but i love their biscuits... anyhow after that we went to her house and her computer started acting all weird.. like if it was possessed or something.. it started shutting down without anyone touching anything, and then it stopped and restarted back to normal without turning off. it was kind of scary.. i think lisa's house is haunted... but that's not the point.. i just noticed something.. i like to do lotz of ...'s don't i? must be frustrating huh? oh well.. sorry for ya right? urg these damn cramps.. i can't even concentrate. they'll pay though.. don't how or when but the cramps will pay, dearly!!! now i'm off everyone.. i'll blog later in the evening before 24 starts.. have fun and don't miss me too much, bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

almost time for may by PhScKo 
posted on april 23, 2002 at 9:10 a.m.

hey what's up everyone? nothing much here.. i had a peculiar nights sleep... i kept tossing and turning and so on... weird dreams to but i always have those so those are no biggie... well my "monthly visitor" has graced my presense.. yes i'm very descriptive in what happens in my life, even that.. sue me! anyhow i'm still exhausted but once my eyes hit light they can no longer ponder sleep again till night fall returns.. sucks huh? yup i know.. only time i can actually take a nap is when i'm ill... and even that i have no control over.. nothing i can do, that's life, got to deal with it how it's dealt... i have no idea what i'm gonna do today.. i'm gonna call up lisa and see if she wants to chill or do something since today is her other day off.. she asked me to do something with me and jimi yesterday but i had to take mother dearest to wal-mart.. so maybe today lisa is up to doing something, even if it means chillin at her place and playing scrabble or whateva... which by the way i usually find myself beating her at... she's supposed to be smart too.. she's a book worm and yet me the dumbass that i am can beat her? something's terribly wrong with that picture don't ya think? anyhow i will blog later but don't know when since i have no idea if i'll be home or not... but expect a blog from me by 5p.m. if i'm not dead, tired, or both.. alrighty now i must head off and continue doing my abs, cause they certainly aint gonna get all buff by me typing, so catch you all laterz, peace, love and the good karma to those who deserve it, laterz... ------------------------------------------------------

wow... by PhScKo 
posted on april 22, 2002 at 7:25 p.m.

hey what's up everyone.. nothing much here... i'm just thinking about stuff like usual.. i'm surprised my brain hasn't exploded yet.. i can't even collect my thoughts.. they are bunched up all with the similar theme... you know i want to ask each and every one of you something.. have you ever been plagued with the thoughts of someone that run constantly through your brain? i'm sure you all have.. see i've had that too but never to an extent to big.. i don't understand it myself... believe me if i did i wouldn't be troubled by it... anyhow i stopped believing there was such a thing as love... people always described it as this great thing and i honestly thought that it wasn't possible for someone to care about someone else unconditionally... i always thought there was an ulterior motive.. well i've been disproved.. the big ass that i am found out the hard way that love is possible.. i'm not in love with anyone but there is something i feel for someone that is beyond what i ever thought i could feel for someone else... the feeling is unreal... i honestly can say i've never felt this way before and it scares me.. well being the fact that i know she doesn't feel the same way... how could she? firstly, she doesn't even know and secondly, if she did she still wouldn't care for me in that way.. that's fine with me though.. i've learned so much with observing what i feel.. it's something that's great, it sucks that i can't have that great thing but i'm glad i felt it and still feel it... i've had several dreams about her and each element in the dream is always the same, i always focus on one thing and one thing alone, her eyes.. i don't know what it is about her eyes that attract me to her.. it's weird... i swear the word of the day should be weird.. i've said it like a zillion times today... so as i was saying her eyes are always the main thing in my dreams that make me go insane.. what's funny i usually kiss her in my dreams but right after we mutually kiss my dream ends... the kiss is always the same, awesome feeling running through my spine... and i always get to talk to her in my dreams.. it's awesome.. having conversation with her in my dreams is magical. and for you perverts out there in my about her i don't have "sex" with her.. hell it has never even crossed my mind in my dreams, nor in my daydreaming of sorts.. i don't see her that way.. she's something bigger, more special, it's indescribable... ok i think i'm done now.. i've let go of a lot that i had inside.. i feel much better, don't you all? plus now that i keep remembering i probably won't see her again after this semester ends, so slowly my feelings will become stagnant so whateva right? but i will never forget her.. how can i? how can anyone forget her, she's amazing and i can't even put it in to words why, but there is something about her, but anyways.. it would be awesome if she liked me back.. i would probably do back flips but in my brain i know that's not possible.. would be great but like i've said before, my soul will just have to wait... wait for who? beats me.. maybe no one, just gotta wait and see right? alrighty now i will go.. i don't know if i'll blog again today, i guess you'll have to come back and seee hahahahahaha.. anyways take carez, peace, love, good karma to those who deserve it and never miss an opportunity to tell those you care about that you do.. you can make all the difference in the world... remember that.. bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

back from wal-mart... by PhScKo 
posted on april 22, 2002 at 3:50 p.m.

hey again peeps.. what's up? nothing much on my neck of the woods, just thinking and stuff... i just got home from wal-mart... that wretched place is not something i would recommend to anyone.. especially if you are going with your mom.. all my mother ever does is stare at things she's not even gonna buy or even needs.. she just loves to waste time on nothingness... yes i'm in a ranting mood, sue me! anyhow i am still getting dizzy spells and my mom is getting worried about me... she thinks i've lost too much weight or something and wants me to go to the doctor to check it out.. i still think it's probably some vitamin deficiency and i'll take care of that starting tomorrow. i forgot to mention that i wrote the most amazing song today.. i can't believe it just blurted out on paper.. i must of written it in a span time of probably 10-15.. i was in total awe.. probably one of the best songs i've written ever.. i love the chorus.. but we all know why... anyhow i'm not gonna discuss that in detail for various reasons that might incriminate me in some way, shape or form.. anyhow i'm now off to see my nephew and niece.. while in my escapade in wal-mart i was able to win a small plush rabbit so now i'm gonna give it to whichever wants it the most.. probably my niece since she's the girl.. anyhow now i will retire, i'll blog later for sure cause i have to probably say a few things that are in my brain or whateva... well take carez everyone, peace, unity and good karma to those whom deserve it.. bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

hello... by PhScKo 
posted on april 22, 2002 at 12:33 p.m.

hey everybody.. what's up? nothing much on this side just got home and i'm getting ready to go to wal-mart with my mother.. oh what joy.. she uses me just so i can drive her there since she hates driving... hell i hate driving.. but doesn't everyone? anyhow i'm in one of those weird moods to blog... so guess what everybody? i'll probably be bloging again later in the evening or so... i'll probably get a few things off my chest, cause i have a lot... it's all weird too but hey that's just the kind of person i am, sue me.. anyways now i'm off to eat some lunch, actually more like force myself to eat.. i'm not hungry, but if i don't eat i'll probably collapse on wal-mart's floor and i don't think that's a good thing.. anyways i'm off now, take carez everyone, peace, love, and good karma... adios... ------------------------------------------------------

a sad day... by PhScKo 
posted on april 20, 2002 at 9:13 p.m.

Alice in Chains' Layne Staley was found dead in his Seattle home on Friday evening. when i saw that scrolling from the bottom of the mtv screen i almost started to cry.. i knew it would of probably happen sooner or later but i didn't want it to... hell i don't think anyone wants that to happen... he was 34.. it's a damn shame.. the world has lost a great talent in staley that can never be replaced.. no one knows what he died of, but my prediction is heroin over dose... for more on this story click here::sighs:: anyways.. i hope people understand what a shock this was to me.. i wasn't even gonna blog today but this came up and i had to.. just saddens me that a life like his was taken.. anyways now i will go.. rip layne, i love you now and always for bringing your music and inspiring me and others... i bid you thank you and hope wherever you are that you are at peace... bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

it's all good... by PhScKo 
posted on april 19, 2002 at 3:10 p.m.

i want to start off my saying that i still like her, probably more than ever now.. but it's ok with me... i understand that no matter what i try to do i will like her until my body gets rid of her naturally. so what i am going to do is not try to force her out of my system.. instead i'm gonna accept the fact that i like her and that i will get over her when the time is right... i'm not gonna make myself ill over it or anything.. i guess i've learned to chill out about these things and not over react or draw weird conclusions.. what i'm going to do though is just let things take course, that's the only way it's healthy... and then sunday i have the baptism.. urg.. that damn thing.. i was sort of looking forward to it but now i'm just dreading it.. i don't want to go and see lazaro's stupid family.. they repulse me in such a way, yuk.. but i have to endure them in order to see my nephew get baptized.. anyhow that's all the news i have for you all.. that and i finally got my huey lewis and the news shirt.. love that shirt.. anyways now i must head out.. catch you all some other time.. bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

long time no blog... by PhScKo 
posted on april 19, 2002 at 12:45 p.m.

hey everyone, what's up? nothing much here.. i'm only here to say that i have a little bit to talk about but i'm not gonna do it just yet.. i might do it later on if i decide to blog.. just a few things that have happened in the past few days that are of interest to us all... well now i'm off to see my niece and nephew.. how i love them so... they are my pride and joy.. well catch you all laterz if ya dare... bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

cutting down! by PhScKo 
posted on april 16, 2002 at 5:03 p.m.

hi everyone.. just here bored.. i think i'm planning on cutting down on my bloging.. see i don't have anything to blog about anymore.. plus i want to concentrate on other things... hmm.. anyways.. nothing new to talk about.. went to lunch with lisa to sweet tomatoes cause she was hungry so i was nice and paid for her lunch.. anyways that's the only exciting thing i did today.. well now i'm gonna go be bored.. so don't expect me to blog much this week or the next or the next or whateva.. so have fun everyone.. bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

bbbooooorrreeeedddd by PhScKo 
posted on april 15, 2002 at 8:16 p.m.

well everyone i'm bored as fuck... nothing to do.. i'm waiting for wwf raw to come on, not that it will cure my boring state but it's something to watch i guess... i'm soo hungry, i don't know why.. i have been for the past few days... but i have to control myself... can't get fat or anything like that.. must be my period trying to get through.. oh well i have to eat normally to keep my nice body.. oooh yeah.. anyhow now i must go.. i won't be bloging again today cause i have nothing to say.. but i am thinking of "her" still a bit, and it irritates me.. anyhow damn girl has me crazy.. but thank goodness i stopped thinking of her like something else.. now all i want is to get away from her... i need to before she gets embedded in my soul, well catch you all tomorrow, bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

blah by PhScKo 
posted on april 15, 2002 at 4:26 p.m.

hi everyone what's up? nothing much here.. i think i'm gonna get my period since i keep having cramps.. stupid ass ones.. i'm listening to korn.. gotta love them.. they really are cool.. didn't think i would ever like them but hey i was wrong for once, lol... i actually didn't blog this morning cause i didn't feel like it.. i was too worried about other things.. anyhow now i'm here bloging with nothing to say.. well i went to lisa's house to play monopoly and i beat her.. left her bankrupt.. damn i'm good at monopoly.. well anyhow now i will go.. have fun everyone.. bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

i'm back! by PhScKo 
posted on april 14, 2002 at 7:27 p.m.

well i'm back from the mall and from bowling... the mall was boring as usual the bowling was ok.. i beat my cousin 2 games to 1... oh well tough for him right? i'm so freakin tired and hungry.. i haven't eaten dinner yet.. maybe i should huh? that and i should watch king of the hill, it's an hour.. not that i really care.. anyhow i have a test tomorrow which i am not ready for.. this can't be good.. oh well.. fuck it.. no more blogging today now i'm gonna go eat, watch tv and chill out and then go to bed.. so hope you peeps have fun and i'll see you all tomorrow, goodnight! ------------------------------------------------------

lalalalala by PhScKo 
posted on april 14, 2002 at 2:55 p.m.

yo what's up everyone? nothing much i'm just bored as usual... so guess what? i decided to blog to you all.. aint it fun? well of course.. but anyhow i'm energized today so that's good, that means i can think clearly and not get any more dizzy spells like i've been getting lately... well my cousin alex just invited me to go to dadeland mall and then he said we would go bowling so i think i'm gonna have to suffer and go to the mall to go bowling.. i love bowling.. i always have fun.. it's like something that makes me feel great... like sex.. i mean.. anyways.. so now it's time for me to be off.. i'll let you all know all about how the "mall and bowling" went.. and if it sucked bad you'll hear my beautiful rantings.. those will be fun right? well catch you all laterz.. adios... ------------------------------------------------------

chilled... by PhScKo 
posted on april 14, 2002 at 9:15 a.m.

what's up everyone? i feel sooo chilled today.. well it's early in the morning that could explain it.. i have no idea what i'm gonna do today either.. i want to see my bestfriend and chill with him but who knows if that will be possible at all... i also want to break the news of me buying 2 korn cd's yesterday.. he's gonna freak i know it.. so i'm thinking of ways of telling him... i used to dislike korn but they are really good.. just gotta listen to them.. anyhow i'm really just in a good buzzy state so i'm gonna just chill out, do some of my abs and then shower... i will update you all on my state later.. have fun and remember stay positive and love your lifeeeeeeeeee... laterz... ------------------------------------------------------

hola by PhScKo 
posted on april 13, 2002 at 2:43 p.m.

hey again peeps i got home from my class and i'm beat.. well i got home a long time ago but still.. i ate and picked my room up.. now i'm pondering if i should rent a movie or something... but i'm not sure... plus what movie would i rent? there isn't anything good coming out till may.. i paged my best friend jimi but obviously he didn't page me back cause i'm still here.. damn him to hell.. anyhow i guess i'll just bum around the house or lay down for a while.. well catch you all laterz bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

finally a goodnight's sleep... by PhScKo 
posted on april 13, 2002 at 9:23 a.m.

i haven't slept like this in like months.. finally i needed it badly.. ugh today i have to go to web design class.. i am sooo lazy i know but whatever... i did the hw i had for the class or so i think i did.. anyways i have to buy food today cause i have no grub.. damnit.. so that means another trip to dear ole winn-dixie.. doesn't that just tickle ya silly? well anyhow i'm off to finish doing my abs so catch you all later today after my wretched bout with class.. laterz... ------------------------------------------------------

never again by PhScKo 
posted on april 12, 2002 at 4:56 p.m.

let me start off by saying hi to all my peeps reading this.. just want to let you all know that my rantings about "her" are over.. firstly i know her name and i aint gonna say it.. it will die with me unless one of you im's me and asks.. otherwise i aint posting it up.. i'm not gonna talk about her anymore because i said i was gonna stop liking her and that's exactly what i'm doing.. so anyways how are you all??? i just got done doing a damn 3pt site thingy for my web design class... it's a group project.. an annoying one at that... anyhow i'm beat and i have to do some other stuff.. i also need to clean my room but that aint happening till tomorrow after class.. so now i'm off to do my other stuff, i'll blog later if i'm bored, otherwise have fun kiddies.. bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

finally everything is clear to me! by PhScKo 
posted on april 12, 2002 at 9:03 a.m.

well remember how i said yesterday i was gonna ask "her" if she was gay, well i changed my mind.. instead this time i'm gonna just forget her.. see what's the point in going after someone that shows no signs at all of being gay.. so i ain't gonna embarrass myself.. fuck no.. it's just not meant to be... so it's gonna hurt me but you know what life can't always be fun... there is hurt that comes along with it and it's my turn to feel some hurt.. i know i'll get over this.. in time.. but the first steps take place today.. now i must go.. i'm very sleepy even though i actually had a goodnight's rest.. well catch you all laterz.. bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

i am clueless... by PhScKo 
posted on april 11, 2002 at 5:03 p.m.

hi again everyone.. i've decided that tomorrow i will ask "her" somehow if she's gay... i'm scared out of my wits.. i already expect a no answer and i'm probably gonna make her uncomfortable and i don't want to do that.. i don't want her to feel anything but good things... i'm out of my mind but i need to know so my soul can rest... well after tomorrow one way or another i will maybe find out.. and i can lay to rest everything.. she hasn't let out any gay signals to me.. and she has to know i'm gay, it's kind of obvious since i've said it many times outloud and stuff.. point is i'm very scared and i'm gonna need all the support of my friends after this.. i wish it was easy but it's not and that pisses me off.. but nothing i can do.. life sucks sometimes.. and throws bones at us like this all the time.. but everyday we learn something different and i'm sure i will learn something tomorrow, be it good or bad but i will learn it.. ::sighs:: well i'm gonna go now.. i'm not up to blogging right now.. and i don't know if i will blog later... if i do you will all see it and if not then i'll blog tomorrow and you can all see what occurred.. anyhow take carez everyone, bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

i am a fool... by PhScKo 
posted on april 11, 2002 at 8:40 a.m.

well guess who the fool is? give up? well me of course silly... i wrote a blog lastnight that was uhm.. scary to say the least but now that i have a clearer mind i deleted it and replaced it with this blog.. so from now on that blog will be lost forever.. only i will know what it contained.. anyhow so how are you all doing this fine day? i'm ok.. i'm just thinking like usual, about the same ole things.. damn and i keep realizing that i have to start working on my stupid group project for my stupid web design class... urg.. i'll get started this afternoon, if i'm up to it.. what i need to do is shower soon cause i feel icky.. i love to shower in the morning.. makes me all refreshed.. anyhow i really have the urge to talk about "her" right now but i will refrain cause i can't think about her anymore.. it's imperative i stop.. so i am going to force myself to.. so there... HA! anyhow now i will leave you with my goodbyes but i will be back later on to blog again, so don't miss me too much, laterz... ------------------------------------------------------

fear is in me... by PhScKo 
posted on april 10, 2002 at 2:47 p.m.

well i finally showed her the poem that she inspired.. but stupid me forgot to ask her name.. urg.. anyhow i'm scared of asking.. she might think i want her or something.. well i do in a sense but i would never come on to her unless i knew for sure that she was gay... well her reaction was good in a way.. she told me that it was good.. i honestly don't think that poem was "good" i thought it was ok.. but i was able to say everything i wanted to say in the poem.. i expressed it completely and i felt accomplished and i had to share with her that source of inspiration that she actually gave me for the poem... i'll probably post the poem up later in the poems section, but for right now i'm not in the mood.. i'm gonna go see my nephew and niece, miss them lots.. what's buggin me though is the fact that i'm once again thinking about "her" and i can't stop.. i really wish i could stop but i can't.. i don't know what it is about her.. she gives out such great ass vibes.. i'm crazy i know. but what can i do? i love the sound of her voice, the way she words things.. i don't know, i have to be going insane.. anyways i'm gonna go cause i fear i will probably just keep going on and on about this.. so i'll probably blog later folks so stay tuned.. hasta luego... ------------------------------------------------------

stupid stomach! by PhScKo 
posted on april 10, 2002 at 8:25 a.m.

new day and still my stomach is blahish.. i can't understand it.. i haven't eaten anything bad lately really.. i hate it when it acts up like that but there is nothing i can do for now.. anyways i can't believe some chick tried to hit on me early in the morning online.. and what was pena was the fact that she is married! i don't care if anyone is in an open marriage or whatever but i still don't want to get with them.. and the chick started asking me like what do i look like and stuff, i should of said fat and ugly so they would of just left me alone but instead i was even meaner and i blocked them from my buddy list.. ugh.. i can't stand people like that.. it's fairly annoying if ya know what i mean.. anyhow i'm bored as hell right now, nothing to do but to rant about crap.. might as well go put gas in the ole tank hole.. stupid car always running out of gas.. and now that the gas is like almost 2 bucks i'm gonna have to start stealing gas or hitching a ride to school.. but anyhow now i must go confront my duties as a college student.. or at least prepare myself... i will be back later on.. i'm gonna go visit my cousin today that came from georgia.. well she always comes.. they should just live here again instead.. so much freakin hassle to drive to and fro.. anyways so i will catch you all in the afternoon, hopefully... till then ta ta... ------------------------------------------------------

stupid stomach! by PhScKo 
posted on april 9, 2002 at 8:20 p.m.

hey just want to let every one of you know my stomach is acting stupid.. i don't understand it.. just incase i'm not gonna eat anything for like a day.. that will help i hope.. or something... i'll stick to liquids... those usually work.. maybe a soup or something.. i hate feeling bad but then again who doesn't? ain't that pic just soooo cute? yes it is i know.. scooby always cheers me up some... i've loved him since i was small.. i don't know how i started watching the gang solve mysteries but i know it's been a longggg time.. i guess that's why i've always loved mystery and why i wanted to be a "cop" when i was young.. i don't want to be a cop anymore though.. fuck that.. cops are overweight sons of bitches that love to munch on donuts.. well most of them.. my cousin is a cop, she's cool.. but that's only cause she's nice.. but that's not the point.. anyhow i just wanted to let everyone know about what was up.. oh and today is 24.. i love that show.. i'm glad it isn't being cancelled that i know of.. well i must be going now.. gotta rest up and stuff for 24 which comes on at 9.. and by the way am i the only one who thinks "nina" from 24 is fineeeeeeeeeeee as heck??? yup see.. am i ever wrong??? i think not.. well anyhow i will leave now i'm too tired.. i'll catch you all laterz.. and remember nina (sarah clarke) is fineeeeeeeee... hasta manana... bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

tired by PhScKo 
posted on april 9, 2002 at 5:45 p.m.

hey everybody.. i'm home from being out... i'm bored as hell.. yup but aren't i always bored? anyhow we got to see big trouble, it was funny, but that was obvious.. anyhow i took out the intro part of the website cause i felt like it.. now the counter is on here somewhere.. not that you all miss my intro page anyhow.. nothing big about it.. god i'm tired.. so very.. oh and just if you are all wondering about why i haven't spoken about "her" well the reason being is because i am not gonna even think about her anymore, i've given up on it.. i don't care anymore, it's bogus and frankly i feel better not thinking about her so HA!!! in your faces suckers.. well actually i still "think" about her but only flashes and i've controlled my feelings with meditation... it helps a lot.. those damn chinese balls are soothing.. for my soul and other stuff.. anyhow i'm now gonna go.. i'm tired.. it's hot in my damn house and i'm gonna go outside and see my doggies.. so i will try to blog later.. if i don't well sorry to you peeps.. well catch you all laterz.. bye byez.. ------------------------------------------------------

stupid stomach! by PhScKo 
posted on april 9, 2002 at 8:10 a.m.

you all want to know what sucks?? well the fact that i woke up and my stomach is acting up.. my stomach hasn't acted up in months.. urg.. i know why though and it's because i ate a piece of flan last night.. see flan make me illish i think it's cause of the milk.. i'm becoming lactose intolerate or something... all i know is that i can hardly eat flan, depends who makes it and the conditions.. urg.. and i love flan too.. damn stupidness of my stomach.. i used to have a stomach made out of rock, now it's turned to putty or something.. oh well.. today i get to go with lisa and jimi (bestfriend) to the doctor to check up on his nasal drip crap and then hopefully to the movies to watch big trouble, we've all been wanting to watch that movie but thanks to the tower crap they postponed the damn release.. i hate society... hope they all go to hell!!!! anyways now i must go.. i have to shower.. oh yeah don't picture me naked now or anything like that... well you can but doesn't mean it's right.. well maybe.. anyways have fun.. and i'll blog to you all later when i get back from my fun filled day, adios... ------------------------------------------------------

bored by PhScKo 
posted on april 8, 2002 at 10:20 p.m.

i'm soo bored.. my bestfriend's voice is gone.. it sucks.. i want him to feel better already and that's not happening.. urg.. he's going the the doctor tomorrow, just hope they prescribe something to make him good again.. stupid nasal drip crap well i'm really sleepy.. so i think i'll just go to bed... i'm watching wrestling.. girls getting it on.. woohoo... well have fun everyone.. will recap stuff tomorrow either in the morning or after i get home.. so have fun and don't miss me too much peeps.. bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

feeling fine by PhScKo 
posted on april 8, 2002 at 6:34 p.m.

well i feel much better now.. and i know what i have to do.. it's all good.. i just had a breakthrough of sorts.. i just hope i don't forget it... but i'm feeling great and why not i am greatttttt... and life is great... plus i'm watching the simpsons, what else can anyone want... so what if she don't like me, her loss not mine.. well now i must go.. i will probably talk to you all later.. so watch out for me cause i'm coming back, hahahahaha.. bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

my dad's b-day!!! by PhScKo 
posted on april 8, 2002 at 2:18 p.m.

today is my father's b-day.. he is 63 years young today... oh and by the way everyone i didn't get to do what i needed to do.. so that means maybe wednesday.. stupid dumb crap.. i wanted to get over this already but urg.. i knew it would happen like that.. urg.. urg.. urg.. yes i'm pissed but what can i do right? anyhow i'm seriously feel like just saying fuck it to everything.. seriously what's the damn point in trying to go after someone that probably will just put me down... anyways i'm gonna go.. i feel really ill today.. i might blog later.. bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

my last rants about her for today... by PhScKo 
posted on april 7, 2002 at 7:12 p.m.

i am so nervous... of course there is reason behind that but i can't reveal it.. but i will talk about it tomorrow.. i expect to feel really down tomorrow but whatever i have to do this.. and you don't know what do you? oh i've never described what "she" looks like but i think i should so all my readers know... she's got gorgeous curly dark brown hair, beautiful brown eyes that would light up any room she's short, probably about 5'1 maybe 5'2 but i don't think she's my height, anyhow and her body, well can't really describe it, it's just a body, i don't care about her body, what i care about is her, just the way her eyes look, her beautiful voice, they way she is... i would give anything just to have her in my life as a friend, she's that special... at least to me.. she will never know how special she is... i wish i could just tell her everything i feel inside but i can't.. i wish she was gay.. but i honestly don't see her as gay.. hell she seems to be very flirty with one of the guys in her class, laughing at what he says and stuff.. i really really need to stop thinking about her.. it's eating me up inside and all i will ever get is pain.. why am i so freakin negative.. yes i know i'm ranting.. urg.. i just need to stop liking her.. but how do i accomplish such a feat? when i have the answer to that i will let you all know... i don't even know how i started liking her.. just woke up one day and saw her in a new light.. maybe i'm just a helpless romantic, but i still see that as my greatest weakness.. why do i care??? what makes her so special that i can't stop thinking about her? is there a reason or do i unconsciously want to cause myself pain by liking someone that isn't gay? don't know her name and i'm crazy about her.. that's totally insane, well i'm gonna go.. i need to meditate and find some answers that i know i will never find.. but once again if "she's" reading this i want to tell you i'm sorry but this is how i feel about you and i've tried to stop but i can't.. believe me i've tried.. but the harder i try the more i find myself liking you, her whateva... well anyways catch you all tomorrow, ::sighs:: bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

weird mood... by PhScKo 
posted on april 7, 2002 at 4:55 p.m.

i am feeling in one of those weird moods.. i'm not sad at all but i'm like hyper and i feel fat, lol.. i know that's weird i told ya.. but did ya believe me, nope... i'm sooo tired too.. i just finished my 500 abs.. yup wow.. i'm seriously should be tired but i'm not.. i'm just thinking and stuff.. but i usually do that enough anyways right? my friend paula is iming me on her aim, she's like talking on and on about her job, her weight and her getting her license.. i'm like telling her that getting your license is easy.. she's worried about parking.. ha.. that's like the easiest... anyhow that's not the point.. and i'm worried about my bestfriend.. he can hardly talk and his coughing is like really bad... i hope he gets better.. i hate it when people are sick... well it wouldn't be fair for me not to talk now about "her".. but i will not go into major details today.. i'm like going insane with it so i'm gonna have to stop liking her quick before i go more insane.. tomorrow things will take a new beginning.. they have to.. i can no longer have her on my mind... i really wish she liked me.. it would make things easier on me.. all i need is a simple smile from her to me.. a wink or something.. just something that makes it obvious but hell if that will ever happen.. anyways i've gone on too much already i will blog later if i'm not sleepy or if my back isn't acting up.. catch you all laterz.. bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

i woke up... by PhScKo 
posted on april 7, 2002 at 9:15 a.m.

i woke up a little bit more refreshed... i guess i slept some more.. but there is a reason though.. i got high lastnight.. i had to forget about the crap that happened yesterday with that asshole inlaw.. but anyhow.. so yes i'm feeling better.. i am just trying to get used to the new time which i've always lovedddddddddddddd.. oh yeah... i'm listening to some nirvana (nevermind) right now.. i love em.. anyhow today my mom is staying with my nephew and niece cause the parents aka the asshole and my cousin/sister have to go to the stupid baptism lecture they give... stupid catholic crap.. thank god i aint the godmother.. i'll be his honorary one.. anyhow i feel like going to the movies today but i am not gonna go alone... that would be absurd... so i'm gonna see if my bestfriend is up to it.. he's been feeling bad for like the past week... oh on a lighter note, the stupid chatboard was acting stupid so i fixed it... so now it's finally working.... woohoo.. aren't i good? anyhow now i will go cause i've got to start up on my abs.. so i'll blog and rant to you all later, don't miss me too much alright? adios... ------------------------------------------------------

aggravation aint even the beginning... by PhScKo 
posted on april 6, 2002 at 6:35 p.m.

i really really dislike my cousin/sister's husband.. he is a total prick with her.. it always brings up the same ole age question of why guys are such pricks.. well most guys are.. their are exceptions to that rule and well a lot of chicks are bitches too... but cuban guys are the worse.. i mean fuck do they have to act so fuckin macho all the damn time to try to prove a nonsense point??? i'm soo pissed right now i could scream.. hell i'm even depressed.. i hate this crap.. every damn time i try to coexist with that ass he ends up being a bigger prick than before.. i wish i was rich just so i could give my sister money and she would leave the creep.. hell she doesn't even love him anymore.. he treats her like dirt.. it's despicable.. FUCK!!! i'm sorry but i'm soooo angry.. and to top it off the only thing that has kept me sane is thinking about "her"... just remembering her face brings a little peace into my life.. i really don't care if she likes me or not at this point i just want to be in her life in any way possible.. she is someone that represents what is actually good in this world.. i know she's not like the rest of the asses she is a healer without even knowing it.. well now i'm gonna go.. i have to force myself to eat. i need to keep my strength up.. anyways if i'm up to it i'll blog later but i seriously doubt it.. bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

nothing new by PhScKo 
posted on april 6, 2002 at 2:10 p.m.

well i got off from school early.. it was soooo damn boring.. i can't wait till this damn class finally finishes up.. anyhow i get to go to wal-mart soon so that will be good i guess... i need to buy food.. stupid damn food.. anyhow you can all probably guess that i've been thinking about "her", cause i have... she doesn't know how special she is.. i don't normally think about people this much.. she just has a hold over my brain.. yes pitiful i know.. but what can i do? anyhow i put up a chatboard so people can talk or whatever in there.. so hope you all enjoy that.. now i must go.. i'm tired and plus wal-mart awaits me.. have fun everybody i'll be blogging later letting ya know what's up and stuff so till then.. adios... ------------------------------------------------------

and my thoughts continue... by PhScKo 
posted on april 6, 2002 at 8:52 a.m.

a brand new day still carries a same old thought.. yup all night last night my thoughts were of "her".. so much thinking that i've been doing that i wrote 2 poems about her.. it's scaring me.. very badly... i don't know what to do.. it's like i'm stuck with this.. i can't tell her how i feel.. like i've said once and again she isn't gay.. or so i think she's not.. my only choice is to ask right? but i can't do that.. it's not in me to even begin to ponder that.. i like this chick so much that i would be content just being her friend.. just having her in my life would be the greatest thing.. but that's probably not gonna happen either.. i don't have the courage to even say hi to her.. i'm chicken.. yup a freakin chicken that can't do anything but ponder on and on about what i feel.. anyhow i just have to stop.. i have to stop myself before i go totally insane.. ::sighs:: anyhow i'm gonna go now.. i have to get ready for class.. i hate saturday classes.. bores me.. kills me.. and such.. well take carez everyone and you all when i get back, laterz... ------------------------------------------------------

she is my thoughts... by PhScKo 
posted on april 5, 2002 at 8:04 p.m.

yup you have all guessed it correctly.. i'm still plainly thinking about her.. everywhere i have gone today she has been circling in my mind, good, bad, odd thoughts of her... i just wish i knew of what i could do.. this is obviously very unhealthy for me.. but every time i see her i just can't explain it but she captivates me in such a way.. she has a hold over me and she doesn't even suspect it.. i wish she did know how i felt about her and that she reciprocated those feelings but i don't think that she is gay.. serves me right anyways, i suck.. i'm no big prize, her on the other hand.. she's what life should be all about.. she always seems happy and her voice is always full of energy and beauty.. i have to be totally out of my mind to feel like this about her but i honestly didn't plan this, just one day started liking her.. i don't understand it but i did.. and now every single day this liking is getting stronger and stronger and i feel like i'm about to burst... anyhow i should go now.. no more blogging for today.. so catch you all laterz, and once again if "you" are reading this just know that i'm sorry but i like you a lot and i wish i could stop but i can't... anyways have fun everybody.. bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

just had to post this... by PhScKo 
posted on april 5, 2002 at 5:33 p.m.

this is a convo with a guy that thinks my friend is dead.. it's hilarious... hope you enjoy...

PhScKo: oh my god did you hear about chris aka zac???
MIGHTYANT25: yeah he was my best friend i was crushed
PhScKo: well how do you think i felt?
MIGHTYANT25: crushed
PhScKo: exactly
PhScKo: i can't believe it.. it's just like fucked up
PhScKo: he was soo young...
MIGHTYANT25: i know
MIGHTYANT25: i miss him
PhScKo: so do i...
MIGHTYANT25: he was my best friend we talked abotu evewrythign and now hes gone
MIGHTYANT25: and did you here what vip did to him
PhScKo: i know.. he was great to talk to...
PhScKo: what did he do to him?
MIGHTYANT25: slapped him just before the monetor when beEEEEPPPPP
PhScKo: what??? why would he do that????
MIGHTYANT25: ask him bye
PhScKo: ok bye

see what did i tell you? if it's this easy to fool someone then they should be fooled.. plus look at his spelling.. it's horrible.. anyhow.. i may actually blog later if i am up to it.. if not have fun and see you all tomorrowz.. bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

never ends by PhScKo 
posted on april 5, 2002 at 3:47 p.m.

today more than ever i can't stop thinking about her.. my every thought is of her and i don't understand this.. i want to tell her so many things yet i know she won't care.. so why and i repeat why the hell do i like her??? i still don't know anything about her, just what i observe and it's magical... everything about her is great that i know of.. i just wish i had the guts to at least say hi to her... i'm a fool.. a big fool, what do i have to lose right? if i tell her how i feel she will either reject me or be like really??? but i can't take rejection i guess.. i'm confused.. soooo soooo confused... i need to meditate and find out all the answers within me... it would be so much easier if i knew if she was gay or not.. but i can't tell.. i honestly can't.. me wishing she was gay and her being gay are different things.. ::sighs:: this is totally confusing the heck out of me.. my thoughts are draining me and i'm stressing over this.. each day that goes by i think of ways of at least letting her know how i feel but as each day goes by i make a mess of things and never even bother... i feel like such a loser.. in any case i really need to let her know before it's too late and i never see her again.. but i don't know if i have the courage or ever will gain it... well i don't know if i will blog later but thanks for reading.. and if you are her and you're reading this which i really seriously doubt i want to tell you that you are the most beautiful girl i've ever seen in my life and i'm terrified of telling you so... bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

i did it again by PhScKo 
posted on april 5, 2002 at 8:53 a.m.

yes i'm a fool.. i got high lastnight again.. what is wrong with me?? i need to stop since my supply is extremely low and plus i said i wasn't gonna do it anymore so i have to stop it NOW... though the last two days i've actually been able to sleep, scary huh? oh well.. but that might just be a fluke.. but anyhow.. i want everyone of you to see my horoscope.. it's stupid that's why i want you all to see it, it reads...

"This should turn out to be a fairly positive day for you when you can probably expect to have quite a few interesting encounters. You should be more than eager to express all your thoughts and ideas to others right now. Just try not to be too opinionated, and always remember to think before you speak."

doesn't it reek of bullshit? anyhow.. why are horoscopes so stupid? oh wait i know why, cause they aren't real.. anyhow i can come up with better shit than that but i've got no subscribers.. but if i did i'd be more than likely even predicting some of the shit.. anyhow... now i must go.. i'm off to see the wizard of oz, well actually i'm probably gonna go see my niece and nephew unless they are in dreamland still.. then i get to go to dear ole class to enjoy myself.. yes so much fun.. maybe i'll get to see the chick i like.. well i don't even know what's the point anymore since i am too shy to even say hi to her.. but she's not gay, if she was i would of probably seen it.. cause she would of smiled at me or something.. since she knows i'm gay, it's too obvious to everyone that i'm gay... anyways.. now i must go for i must do stuff.. catch you all laterz.. adios... ------------------------------------------------------

bored by PhScKo 
posted on april 4, 2002 at 3:00 p.m.

yup i'm bored.. i forgot to reveal that yesterday i got high.. yup.. i didn't have to but i was feeling so depressed that it made me feel much better... so i guess it wasn't that bad right? at least i justified the reason... anyhow today is not so bad so far.. i haven't really been sad or anything.. just bored out of my freakin mind.. well if i decide to be back on blogging i will but i totally doubt it.. so catch you all some other time... bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

alive... by PhScKo 
posted on april 4, 2002 at 9:00 a.m.

yup i'm still alive.. barely.. anyhow i just wanted to let you all know that i'm feeling a little bit better than i did yesterday.. i know i need to get more food into my system... that will help me with my sleeping and stuff... well now i must go.. i have to do some things today... catch you all laterz.. ------------------------------------------------------

my death... by PhScKo 
posted on april 3, 2002 at 6:57 p.m.

my death is coming soon... i'm going crazy with my thinking and my fasting of sorts... my meditation isn't helping either... i can't forget her or stop thinking about her... why am i burdened with her memory? you know i'm going crazy with this chick on my mind... why can't i just stop??? is there a reason or am i just crazy? well point is i'm gonna go insane if i'm not already... i need to stop thinking.. maybe that will help.. or maybe getting high will help... anyways now it's time i go cause i aint solving anything today so, bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

i just want to know why??? by PhScKo 
posted on april 3, 2002 at 12:52 p.m.

it's eating me up inside that i'm crazy about a girl i don't even know.. what is wrong with me??? well if you people knew me you'd say well michele what isn't wrong with you.. well this is driving me insane... i don't have the minimal courage to tell her hello and yet i'm here depressing myself over how i like her.. it's crazy... i can't sleep at night cause of it and believe me i've tried to forget her... but when i do fall asleep all my dreams are based on her.. i don't want to feel like this anymore, can any of you out there help??? if you can please drop me a line or something cause i'm running out of hope here... and i definitely know this chick doesn't like me just simply because whenever she even looks at me in the hall it's like with contempt.. she must really hate me or something... maybe i'm just annoying? i don't know.. i'm already babbling here.. and i'm sorry but i have to let out all of this pain... i must be crazy for thinking she's beautiful but she is.. her eyes, her smile, the sound of her voice, it's just magical... i can't even begin to explain it... ::sighs:: well i'm gonna go.. i'm really in one of those sad/depressed moods... maybe i'll blog some later, and hopefully i'll be feeling in higher spirits... laterz... ------------------------------------------------------

i can't stand it, urg... by PhScKo 
posted on april 3, 2002 at 7:42 a.m.

i want to know why i keep thinking about a complete stranger that i've never even spoken to in my life??? i see her in the halls but i'm sooo freakin intrigued with her and i'm going crazy over it... and why don't i do anything about it? well simple, she isn't gay i think and plus i'm freakin shy... stupid shyness always screws things up... anyways on the lighter side of things.. i met a cool chick online yesterday, her name is gina.. she's cool as fuck.. so that's always good.. and sunny is back from italy!!! woohoo.. i missed sunny.. hell who wouldn't miss her, she's like awesome... but anyhow.. now i'm off to do nothing since i woke up early again.. damn my insomnia... damn it to hell!!! well catch you all when i get back from school, till then, laterz... ------------------------------------------------------

missing her... by PhScKo 
posted on april 2, 2002 at 6:32 p.m.

yup believe it or not folks i still miss that damn chick.. i need to get over it NOW or i will freak.. anyways i just wanted to say yo and stuff to all you peeps out there anyways take carez, bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

blah... by PhScKo 
posted on april 2, 2002 at 8:02 a.m.

i feel like shit today... it sucks... my stomach has been fucked up for like 2 days straight now.. i just hope it settles down now.. i'm lacking sleep, drugs and patience in the last few days... i don't know why but i'm having a horrible time sleeping at night now... i hope i'm not developing a sleeping disorder.. i used to sleep like a baby.. now i'm just being a baby.. but anyhow.. now i must proceed in doing other things.. i'll be back later to inform you of the rest of my "glorious" day... laterz... ------------------------------------------------------

hmm... by PhScKo 
posted on april 1, 2002 at 4:42 p.m.

I am a strong and empowered Jesus. I am willing to overcome whatever obstacles are thrown at me. My love of God is strong. I can't imagine why people don't don't like me.
Take the What Jesus Would You Be? Quiz

cool i'm a chillin jesus.. anyhow.. just wanted to update everyone on how i'm feeling and that is very blahish.. i still miss that damn chick.. i don't know why though.. it's pissing me off... how can i like someone i've never even spoken to??? anyways one day my brain will stop this nonsense... till then i guess my soul will have to wait... bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------

new month, same heartache... by PhScKo 
posted on april 1, 2002 at 8:45 a.m.

yeah heartache.. whatever... i'll end it somehow.. the heartache that is... it's easy to end things.. but it's hard to get over them.. i've learned that in my stay here on planet earth under this body that i have now molded into a piece of art, lol.. anyhow though... today is also april fools day.. hahahahaha... anyways... and i just got my mom.. i told her i was urinating blood... she's like what the? and i'm like april fools day mom.. she obviously didn't appreciate that as much as i did.. oh well.. i hope today is a good day and not one of those boring blahish days that make me want to beat up people.. well i must go now.. catch you all laterz.. bye byez... ------------------------------------------------------