| Top 10 Reasons to do debate over drama! 10. You can be reasonably confidant-in most cases-that your opponent has an IQ above 60. 9. No more bad accents 8. Squirrels, all squirrels. 7. You can write a case on the bus to the meet and win, but have you ever tried to memorize a DI in 10 minutes? 6. In debate, pathetic sob stories lose rounds. 5. Two words: making ponies. 4. If you're female, you have fantastic odds. 3. If you ask a guy to help you carry your evidence tub, you get to flirt. If you ask him to help you carry your script, he thinks you're creepy. 2. Debaters grow up to be fat, rich senators in Washington DC; actors grow up to be inebriated, starving beatniks on the streets. 1. Actors are weird. |
| Top 10 Reasons to do drama over debate! 10. If you speak incoherently, you can blame it on "being in character." 9. No evidence tubs. 8. 1 prelim round-enough said. 7. If you BS, you don't have to provide evidence. 6. Who gives a flying rat's tookus what rich white guys in suits are doing in the middle east, anyway? 5. Never having to hear the words "social contract" or "categorical imperative" ever again! 4. If you're male, you have fantastic odds. 3. Debate is scary! 2. Morality? What's that? 1. Debaters are weirder. |
| The 10 Lincoln Douglas Commandments 1. Thou shalt practice no other debate form but LD. 2. Thou shalt not use emotional personal examples for evil purposes. 3. Observe thy time limits and keep them holy. 4. Honor thy value and thy criterion. 5. Thou shalt not kill another LD debater. (CXers non inclusive) 6. Thou shalt not adulter thy opponent's argument in thy final affirmative rebuttal. 7. Thou shalt not create evidence. (Unless thy can prove that it is absolutely moral and necessary to do so.) 8. Thou shalt not utilize Ad Hominem attacks. 9. Thou shalt not covet thy opponent. 10. Thou shalt not covet thy opponent's victory, just politely shake their hand and kick their ass next time. |
| CX BASHING!!!!! Q: What's the difference between a CXer and a trampoline? A: You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline. Q: What do you have when a CXer is buried up to his neck in sand? A: Not enough sand. Q: Why don't sharks attack CXers? A: Professional courtesy. Q: What do you call an LDer gone bad? A: A CXer. Q: What's the difference between a CXer and a redneck? A: The redneck has better fashion sense. |
| Alright, Alright...LD Bashing.... Q: How do you change an LDer's mind? A: Blow in her ear. Q: How can you tell if an LDer doesn't know what he's talking about? A: Are his lips moving? Q: What's the difference between Clinton and an LD debater? A: When Clinton pretended to understand values it was for a larger audience. Q: What do you get when you cross a prostitute with an LD debater? A: Someone who spreads expertly and can convince you it's moral. Q: How do you kill an LD debater? A: Stick her in a room with 20 other LDers and tell them they have to form a society with a "social contract" that promotes "utilitarianism" through "Kant's Categorical imperative." Q: How do you kill a CX debater? A: Oh, there are so many possibilities, it seems a shame to pick only one..... (Sorry, I had to break up the LD bashing with a CX joke. Heeheehee.....) |
| MISCELLANEOUS DEBATE JOKES! Q:What's a debater's favorite shrubbery? A: Heg. Q: What's a debater's favorite car? A: A Fiat. Q: What do you call a debater with an IQ of 50? A: Judge. Q: What do you call a debater gone bad? A: Coach. Q: How many CX debaters does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two, any more and they'll never agree on a plan to get it in. Q: How many LD debaters does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Oh...don't even bother. More than one and somebody is sure to bring up the innate right of the lightbulb not to be changed and what would the greatest good be for all lightbulbs and if it's moral to change one lightbulb, then shouldn't we have to change all lightbulbs and hey! what right do we have to decide anyway, that is discrimination against inanimate objects and.... Q: How many debate coaches does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Oh, that's right! As if I have the time to change lightbulbs, I have a million other-wait, why are you messing with the lightbulb? Your round is in five minutes and you haven't even started your case and... Q: Dare I ask? How many judges does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Huh? What lightbulb? |
| DEBATE HUMOR |