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| Moral indignation is, in most cases, 2% moral, 48% indignation, and 50% envy. Vittorio de Sica |
| Be the first to say what is self-evident, and you are immortal. M. Ebner-Eschenbach |
| With sixty staring me in the face, I have developed inflammation of the sentence structure and definite hardening of the paragraphs. James Thurber |
| None of us can boast about the morality of our ancestors. The records do not show that Adam and Eve were married. Ed Howe |
| Nature gives you the face you have at twenty. Life shapes the face you have at thirty. But at fifty you get the face you deserve. Coco Chanel |
| An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that have been permanently discontinued. Irvin S. Cobb |
| Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. Groucho Marx |
| Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she has laid an asteroid. Mark Twain |
| The fellow who thinks he knows it all is especially annoying to those of us who do. Harold Coffin |
| Television has raised writing to a new low. Samuel Goldwyn |
| The more I see of man . . . the more I like dogs. Madam de Stael |
| When a young man begins to go down hill everything seems to be greased for the occasion. Josh Billings |
| Give us the luxuries of life and we will dispense with the necessities. Oliver Wendell Holmes |
| "Be Yourself" is about the worst advice you can give to people. Mark Twain |
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