2. We believe that an ELDER will be punished for his own sins as well as his companion's transgressions.
3. We believe that through little effort of his own, all missionaries will go bald according to the laws and statutes of nature
4. We believe that the first counsels and advice of the mission are: First: faith in the nutrition of peanut butter, Second: spaghetti, Third: Milk of Magnesia for the remission of errors, and Fourth: the leaning on of members for the gift of free meals.
5. We believe that an ELDER must tract in rain, wind, and in similar circumstances, due to the threats of those in Authority to restrict our priviledges and administer the punishment thereof.
6. We believe in the same organization that existed in the previous mission: President, assistant, secretarites, janitors, typewriters, etc.
7. We believe in the gift of cakes, candy, cookies, donuts, money, etc.
8. We believe the President to be the head of the mission until he is translated accordingly. We also believe the assistants to be the heads of the mission.
9. We eat all food members have prepared, all they do now prepare, and we believe that they will yet prepare many great and inspiring meals according to the persuasions of the elders.
10. WE believe in the literal departure of elders and their orientation to things back home, that Zion will be built upon this fact: that we will not be trunky until dismissed and given HONORABLE releases.
11. We claim the privilege of writing letters home according to the dictates of our own schedule and allow all missionaries the same privilege. Let them write how, when, where, or whom they may.
12. We believe in not being subject to stop signs, yield signs, speed limits, nor common sense in smashing, crashing, and abusing mission cars or bicycles, or whatever the case may be.
13. WE believe in being handsome, full, CHASED, magnificent, flirtacious and in saying "HI" to all girls. Indeed we may say we follow no admonition at all. We question all things, we bother all things, we put off many things, and we hope to be able to put off all things. If there is anyone virtuous, lovely, of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after her immediately.
