| Letter Four |
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| Dear Ana, There's this guy who I'm forced to see at least every day, since he lives in the same house. But I really hate him, in fact I hate him so much if I could I would gut him and then gouge his eyes out with a rusty spoon and then burn his remains and then burn the remains of his remains and then throw those off a large cliff then blow up the cliff and� I digress. How am I supposed to keep living with this person without ripping his limbs off and befouling them in various ways? Signed, Hurry up and reply before I maim this unnamed person and get into heaps of trouble Dear Hurry Up, What is it with you people and your forever long names? Are you and "Person on the verge of having a cranial explosion" related? If so, you had some very cruel (or drunk) parents. Maybe these cruel (or drunk) parents gave you some sort of complex which would at least partially explain your obvious mental instability. Rusty spoon? Come, now. If you're going to use a rusty object to gouge his eyes, at least use something timeless and classy, like a rusty ice pick. Anyways, forget about figuring out how to live with him. I say kill him. Kill them all! But make sure to wear rubber gloves because fingerprints are tricksy little buggers. Signed, Ana |