| Letter One |
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| Dear Ana,
As we approach the second anniversary of the Phoenix Fighters, it is a time to reflect on all our wonderful accomplishments in the last year. ... Um...what exactly have we accomplished? I think we're just spinning our wheels here. Sincerely, Perplexed Person Dear PP (Let me take a minute to laugh at THAT) This year in the house� Aden spent a lot of his spare time sending glares at Tranns and Lucien. His extra-extra time was spent convincing the house that there was nothing going on between him and Adriana. He then moved in with Adriana. Adriana lost her memory, had babies by Felsen, got put in charge of the house, dated Kazuo, dumped Kazuo, found out Kazuo was Lord Zelazny, was kidnapped by Lord Zelazny, almost had to kill Lord Zelazny. All in all, she considered it to be a good year. Aeq was scarcely ever around, but did occasionally appear and lament over changes made to his beloved pool. Amorette was sent on many life-threatening missions, the most frightening of which was having to wear an evening gown in public. Ariadne got spongy hands and went nuts. She also got shoved into a giant coffin and went nuts again. Basically, Airy was Andorian. Casey got married but didn�t really tell anyone. She also blew more stuff up and found out she was half-Ra, which might explain her destructive nature. Apparently she also did something to the toaster that none of us really want to think about. Cirrus tried to convince us all that we wasn�t over-compensating for anything with his ridiculously huge sword. We pretended to believe him. Lex found out for sure but who�s she going to tell? Gwyneth supposedly babysat my children. No one really remembers who Gwen is, though. Jake had a crush on every female in the house. Jesse considered the sounds of silence. Kazuo had a passionate affair with Adriana, Mia, and himself. He got married to a Hylian missionary who turned out to be evil. In addition, he tried to kill everyone in Shaldani. Go figure! Lucien was haunted by his aunt. We were all sorely grieved, as we had considered him to be the only sane person in the house. He also had several staring contests with potted plants. Maze locked himself in his room and ate dead fish. Mia broke up with Aden and spent much time debating her love life. She became involved with Kazuo whom she soon discovered to be Lord Zelazny. Luckily, she had her habit of crying to fall back on. Pfalz freaked everyone out by stating that she was in love with the old, gross, dead Zelazny. Ewww. Pipira was distracted by various shiny objects. Philip shocked us all when he willingly agreed to get married. On the day of said wedding, he was kidnapped, much like a girl. He also wore dark colors and scowled a lot. Shawn turned into a monkey and knocked up his wife�s best friend. His story is being considered for a Hylian soap opera. Sito played with too many cuddly animals. We are all very concerned for his well being. We portray this concern by making him the butt of all our jokes. Tranns discovered some maternal instincts that we never knew she had. She also bled and swore a lot, and rescued quite a few kidnapped females. We wonder if perhaps she was a pirate in a past life. We also found files on the following people: Alastor, Rayne, Servay, Helatea, Lionel, and Stetson. We want to know who these people are and how they keep managing to shove their files into my cabinet. In final tally, the house survived one Ebene Lord, two attacks, three pregnancies, four break ups, and five million kidnappings. All in all an excellent year. Happy second anniversary, Phoenix Fighters! Love, Your Dear Ana To write Agony Aunt Ana, drop a line to [email protected] |