| Letter One |
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| Dear Ana, Let's see what you think of this: In the place where I reside, there are many people. When I first moved in, I acted as was my nature --pointing out the obvious in my direct way, and making up my own nicknames for everyone. This didn't mix well with everyone and I was almost killed. I "changed my ways" and am now mellow and agreeable, as well as repress any urges to insult and set people afire. I'm about to go insane, though, with all this holding back. What do you think I should do? Signed, Firey. Dear Firey: I think there is one obvious solution and that is to go back to your old ways. If there is one thing I have learned in my life, it is to never wear striped underpants with a white skirt. However, I�ve also learned that you can�t live your life how other people expect you to. Be your own wind keeper! Dare to be different, young tadpole! The world is your burrito! So basically, pull out the matches and stop repressing the inner-pyromaniac. If you burn everyone to the ground, they can�t try to kill you again! However, should this plan not work and you have another assassination attempt on your life, bite everyone around you and make the sounds of an angry rabid dog. Trust me, they�ll keep their distance. Signed, Ana To write Agony Aunt Ana, drop a line to [email protected] |