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| My Obelisk |
| I have been trying to choose an appropiate epitaph for sometime. Well, really, I suppose I have been collecting them. My friend, Jeremey, says that when I die, he'll buy an obelisk for me so that I don't have to decide. Here's the ongoing list of phrases that should be etched on it. |
| You just think that was me. The good news is: I finally know what uranium tastes like! I was NOT on one foot. I can taste, Dammit! Death: The Other White Meat. I may be dead, but you're still stupid. Any day above ground is a good day. Is he gone yet? And at A.S.M.S, the absence is still unexcused! Don't worry, I'll bubblewrap my way through this. SallieMae Lending Services, Suck it. Hey! Turn the lights back on! They killed me because I found the last digit of Pi. No, my last words were NOT "Hey ya'll, watch this." Geez, all I said was "No, I don't have any change." Pee on this,and I'll make The Exorcist look like a Disney movie. Yea. I'm Dead. Your point? I really can't hold my breath much longer.... Okay, Jon, you can have your shirt back now, if you come and get it.. So, the answer was 5! Hey! Psstt.. ya ever seen an Uzi fired from a grave? The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy. DUDE! Stop standing on me! Spending this much time near a grave is really unhealthy, you know that right? If you too would like to be buried in a rolling chair call 1-800-BAAL Organ transplants are best left to professionals. Can't Sleep, the Monkey Will Eat Me. Wanted: One kind, gentle, caring human being. Must be necromancer. If you believe the good die young, don't ask how old I was. You did this. I know where you live. By the way, mow your lawn. What?! You've never had a parrot go down the wrong pipe? Heaven's great, weather's awfully warm, view's not great. It's just flames. |