FLuSTerED ExISTEnCE
I'm an abject liar, not as ably as you
Where you don't mind damage, I do
I try to get out, but it's to no avail,
you keep me trapped in your sick fairy tale
I always feel deficient, devoid of sanity,
because a pitiful loser is all you let me be
It's pure expedience on your part
to see how many times you can break my heart
Maybe I'm too gullible, kooky and meek,
but it's only your respect that I seek
Yet all you do is niggle, obliterating my self-respect,
bringing me down in ways no therapy can correct
My name sank into oblivion years ago,
got stomped into nothing because you said so
People now recoil from me in fear,
in all their nightmares I appear,
even though by you I've been subdued,
you can't stop carrying on the ancient feud
I succumb to society, yearn to reedem myself,
from being abominable at least, if nothing else
But I realize fate has only one route
I'm a demon inside and it's eating its way out
July 2004
